


(500) Days of Bucky Barnes

by darlinghoots



Category: Captain America (Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - No Powers, F/M, Fluff and Angst, M/M, Slow Build, Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-03-10
Updated: 2016-09-02
Packaged: 2018-03-17 06:29:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 36
Words: 148,059
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3518897
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/darlinghoots/pseuds/darlinghoots
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Steve Rogers is pretty content with just spending the rest of his Saturdays lounging on his couch watching Hollywood classics. But his friends have other ideas. One Saturday, his friends drag him out to one of Tony Stark’s clubs to interact with the human world again. And that’s how he meets Bucky Barnes.</p>
<p>Basically, 500 days of Steve and Bucky's relationship.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. (1.)

**Author's Note:**

> So, I got this idea from (500) Days of Summer, although it is not going to be based off that. Just like, it's gonna be like the movie, like their relationship based on days and all that jazz. I honestly couldn't think of a good enough summary. I may try and change it later if I come up with something more creative.
> 
> Also, I don't own anything, except for the mistakes, those are most definitely mine.

“Steve.” Steve looked over from his very comfortable spot on the couch and looked over across the room at Peggy, Sharon and Sam, who were all looking at him with the biggest frowns they could muster up on their faces.

Honestly, you would have thought he had done something horrible to earn those frowns. Not because he didn’t want to go out clubbing with them tonight.

“What?” Steve didn’t want to go out tonight. It was pretty simple, really. He was already in his sweatpants, and it was going to stay that way. He was going to make some popcorn and watch some classic movies on TCM. His mind was already set and there was nothing that they could do to change his mind.

“You do this every Saturday. You have been ever since you and Brock broke up. And that was months ago. You need to get out. Interact with the human world.”

“I interact with the human world. I do have a job, y’know. I talk with you guys every week. I actually see Sam every goddam day since we do in fact, live together.”

“You know what we mean.” Peggy said as she walked over and sat down next to him on the couch. Peggy was his oldest friend. He had known her in high school and they even went to the same college. They had even dated for a bit back when they were in college. Peggy was also the only person who could convince him to do anything. He knew that he wasn’t going to be able to refuse whatever she said.

She had that effect on him. And he hated it. Definitely at times like this.

“Tony Stark is throwing this big party at one of his clubs.” Peggy said as she reached over and grabbed his hand. “We have all been invited, along with some other people we know. We all think it would be great for you to get out and just, enjoy life.”

“I happen to enjoy life all the time.” Peggy just smiled.

“Steve. Please.” Peggy was silent for a bit, letting her plea completely set in for Steve. “If you want to leave early that’s fine, but just, try and have some fun. You never know what could happen.” Steve looked at her for a few seconds before he glanced over at Sam and Sharon.

“Alright.” Steve said, giving in. “But I need to change my clothes first.” Sam and Sharon both let out little cheers as Steve made his way to his bedroom.

Tonight was going to be a long night. He could already tell.

* * *

Steve normally liked clubs. He had actually been to quite a few clubs, and quite often too.

He just didn’t like Tony Stark’s clubs. They were all too loud and flashy and just, packed full of people. You couldn’t really talk in them (who actually talks in clubs, right? Well, Steve Rogers does) and Steve instantly felt out of place.

Even though he didn’t quite look like it.

He was wearing the best jeans he owned, and apparently, according to Peggy, made his ass look fantastic, and a plain white t-shirt, that may have been a tad bit on the smaller side and showcased his muscles a bit.

But hey, it was a club. You were supposed to dress like this.

And Steve wasn’t stupid. He knew why they had dragged him out here. He and Brock had been broken up for almost six months now. His friends wanted him to get out in the world again. To find someone else.

But Steve wasn’t sure he was ready for that yet. But he was here, and he would try and have fun. For them. He could handle this for a few hours.

Steve walked into the club with Peggy on his arm. Even though they weren’t dating, she always stuck close to him in places like this. She had always said that Steve made her feel safe in places like this. And Steve also felt a little protective of her, especially in that beautiful red dress she was wearing.

She was sure to get a lot of attention tonight.

Not that Peggy couldn’t take care of herself of course, because she could definitely take care of herself in more ways than one. Lord knows that she could probably knock Steve on his ass in a fight, but he could still be protective of her.

They had only been in the club for barely a minute and he already felt eyes on them. His hand tightened around her waist and Peggy let out a small chuckle. “Relax Steve.” She whispered, but it didn’t help much. Steve was still as tense as ever.

Sam walked in behind them with Sharon and Steve could hear Sam already calling out people he knew. Steve glanced back and gave a brief smile at Sharon before looking back a head.

Sharon and Peggy were sisters, Peggy being older by only a few years. Sharon and Steve weren’t as close, but they have grown closer over the years. There was a bit of brief awkwardness when Peggy’s friend, Natasha, had tried to set Steve and Sharon up a few years back.

Peggy had said she was completely okay with it, but it still seemed weird and Steve just didn’t see Sharon that way. He had known Sharon since he was in high school. It had just been weird to be out on a date with her. But Steve and Sharon got a good laugh from it now, and it did bring them closer as friends.

Natasha wasn’t as pleased, and well, Steve met Brock not too long later.

Speaking of Natasha, she was one of the ‘friends’ they were meeting tonight. She had invited some of her friends to hang out with them to form one big group to avoid Tony Stark (that’s how Sam had explained in it in the car on the ride there). It was going to be tricky, but it would be fun to see if they could.

Steve didn’t even know Tony Stark that well, but he knew him well enough that he did not want to see him tonight. Especially if he wasn’t sober.

Natasha was friends with Peggy and Sharon. They all worked together, for Tony Stark, funny enough. Apparently Natasha knew Sam through her boyfriend Clint or something like that. Steve didn’t really know. The point was that they all knew each other well and Steve didn’t. Steve had only met Natasha a few times and she scared him more than Peggy did. She could be really nice, but he happened to meet her on a night where she was pissed off and well, that was quite an experience.

But other than that, Natasha was a pretty amazing person. Steve just didn’t know her all that well; something that Peggy and the others were very keen on trying to change, apparently.

Natasha was supposedly bringing Clint and some of her other friends, Steve didn’t really pay attention to the names. He was positive that Sam had spit them all out on the ride here, but Steve hadn’t been listening. He had been too busy thinking of a plan to get him out of here as fast as possible.

“I see Nat.” Sam shouted at them over the music before he started heading towards the stairs. Steve looked up and sure enough, there leaning against the railing on the balcony was none other than Natasha Romanov. She had a smirk on her face as she looked down at them, giving them a tiny nod.

She looked amazing. Steve couldn’t take his eyes off her. Her hair, bright red, hung down around her shoulders in loose waves. She was wearing this beautiful emerald dress that showcased her incredibly fit body perfectly. She looked the perfect mix between elegant and sexy.

Steve finally pulled his eyes away from her as Peggy pulled him towards the stairs.

Steve took a deep breath as he walked up the stairs behind Peggy. He hated meeting new people. And he wasn’t even sure how many people were going to be up there. There could be five or a twenty. As he reached the top, he heard Sam and Sharon laughing and somehow, that made him feel even more nervous. Everyone here was going to know each other and he was going to be the odd man out.

Not that it would be the first time. Steve was always the odd man out at things like this.

He would probably just find some seat in a dark corner and sit there for the rest of the night while everyone else had a good time. It was boring, but that was what he did. But he didn’t feel like doing that tonight so he would probably leave early when that time came.

Peggy let go of his arm as she walked over to Natasha. Steve hadn’t even noticed that Natasha had walked over to them. Peggy pulled Natasha into a brief hug. Steve could hear Peggy saying something but couldn’t really make it all out. It was only when he was right next to them, that he could understand them.

“Steve, you remember Natasha.” Steve smiled as he shook her hand. He would have hugged her but he had the feeling that she would probably kick his ass if he made that kind of move. Besides, he wasn’t as close with her.

“How could I forget? You make quite the first impression.” Natasha just smiled.

“Oh Steve. You make quite the first impression as well.” Steve blushed as he looked down at his feet. “Come and meet everyone.” She grabbed him by the arm and pulled him forward. He looked back and gave Peggy a look, which only resulted in her laughing.

Great.

He looked forward and saw Sam and Sharon talking with a man who was wearing a hideous purple shirt with what looked like arrows on it.

“Steve, this is Clint Barton, my boyfriend.” Steve nodded and smiled. Clint was not the man that he would have expected Natasha to be with, but hey, if they were happy, then kudos to them. “Clint, this is Steve Rogers.” Clint smiled and shook Steve’s hand. Steve had the strangest feeling that he had seen Clint before, he just couldn’t really remember when. It would come back to him later, he was sure. “And that over there is Thor Odinson and Jane Foster, along with Bruce Banner. Bruce works for Stark too.” Steve nodded again. He knew Bruce. Steve had also read about the work Bruce had done with radiation. Banner and Stark also tend do a lot of collaborations together that are always making the news. Thor and Jane were new to him though. But they seemed to be in their own world at the moment, so Steve doubted that he would get to talk to them much tonight. “That is Maria Hill, she also works with Stark.” Maria nodded at him before joining in on the conversation with Clint, Sam and Sharon.

“And that,” Natasha said as she turned them towards a little couch that was away from everyone else. Steve felt his breath fall short because sitting on that couch was the most beautiful man he had ever seen.

He was wearing a pair of black skinny jeans, with a black almost see through shirt and a leather jacket with commander boots on. Steve could see that his left hand was silver, and from the way it looked from over here, it must be some sort of prosthetic. The man’s hair was longer but it was pulled back in a pony-tail and just, well, he looked amazing.

Steve had never seen anyone like him.

The woman sitting on his lap though, put things right back into perspective for Steve.

The woman was pretty, or well, Steve would say that she was cute. She wasn’t plain, but there was just something about her that made her cute. She looked like someone Steve could have seen himself dating. She was wearing a more modest dress and had brown wavy hair.

But she was smiling down at the man and they looked happy. The man may be straight, but that didn’t stop Steve from looking. He could still admire how attractive the man was though, regardless of what his preferences were.

“That is James Barnes, and his girlfriend Connie.” James must have heard his name and looked up.

“Did someone say my name?” God, even his voice was perfect. Steve took a deep breath and gave the man his best smile.

“Yes.” Natasha replied with a smile as she looped her arm through Steve’s and walked them forward. “This is Steve Rogers.” James smiled.

“Ah, yes. I remember Sam mentioning you before. In fact, I believe I have heard everyone here mention you before.” Steve didn’t really know what to make of that comment. “Nice to meetcha.” James said as he reached out to shake Steve’s hand. Steve took his hand and made sure not to linger in the handshake. He knew that his hands were probably sweating. And he didn’t need to make it too obvious that he was nervous.

He pulled away and took a step back. He realized that Natasha had suddenly disappeared and now he felt awkward. James didn’t seem to notice. Connie had pulled his attention back to her.

That was his cue to leave. Steve took another step back, giving them their space.

“Steve.” He turned around and found Bruce standing there. “It’s good to see you again.” Steve nodded, shaking his hand. Steve had met Bruce a while back. Brock had actually introduced them, weirdly enough. Bruce was a really nice guy. It almost seemed weird that he would be such good friends with Tony Stark. But maybe Steve didn’t know Tony like Bruce did.

“Yeah. Same. It’s nice to see a familiar face.”

“Hey now.” Sam said as he joined in. “I believe I am a familiar face.” Steve just smiled.

“How is the world treating you, Steve?” Bruce asked.

“Can’t really complain.” Steve responded. That was a lie. But Steve felt like he couldn’t really be honest here. He saw Sam look away and was thankful that he didn’t have to see his face. He didn’t think he could handle the disappointment right now.

“How is your art coming along? I know Sam mentioned that you are working on a children’s book right now?” Steve smiled, glad for the change of subject.

“Yeah. I’ve done a few books for this guy, so yeah. It’s great. It keeps me busy.” Steve replied. And he was about to ask about Bruce’s job when Natasha walked up behind him, pulling him away.

“Steve.” She said, putting her arm through his. “You dated Brock Rumlow, right?” Steve felt like he was about to be sick. She must have felt him tense up because she immediately stopped walking. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable.”

“No, it’s just, I don’t like talking about him. That’s all.”

“Completely understandable. That man was such an ass. I worked with him, in case you forgot. Such a tool.” Steve had completely forgotten about that. It seemed that everyone here worked for Stark or something. “So glad you guys are done.” Natasha then pushed him back towards where James and Connie were sitting. Oh no. Steve didn’t want this. He tried to keep his feet down but Natasha was a tad bit stronger than him and pushed him forward. “James, Steve here is an artist.” She said as he pushed Steve onto the couch opposite of them. James pulled away from Connie and looked from Natasha then back at Steve. James just raised an eyebrow and smirked at Steve before he responded.

“Is he now?” James leaned forward and Connie must have gotten some sort of hint because she moved over and sat down next to him. She didn’t look quite as happy about it. In fact, she looked rather pissed, giving both Steve and Natasha a glare.

“I mean, I wouldn’t really say I’m an artist.”

“Nonsense.” Natasha replied as she sat down next to Steve. “His work is phenomenal. He has even illustrated for some children’s books and some comic books.” Steve looked over at Natasha and well, if he didn’t know better, it almost sounded like Natasha was trying to set them up. It was like she was trying to impress James.

He was reminded of how double dates usually went. Which was just odd because James’ girlfriend was sitting right next to him. Witnessing everything.

Awkward doesn’t even begin to cover how Steve felt.

“Connie. Shall we get a drink?” Natasha said as she stood up and walked away. Connie let out a small sigh and followed. Steve just watched both women go. He was so confused. He didn’t know what was happening anymore.

“Steve, right?”

“Yes.” Steve responded, swallowing deeply. He didn’t want to be alone with James. He needed someone here to make sure he didn’t say or do anything stupid. He hadn’t even had anything to drink yet.

“I’m Bucky. Natasha calls me James but I hate that name, so, just call me Bucky.” Steve just nodded. “You don’t want to be here, do you?” Steve let out a short laugh. He was never really good at hiding his feelings. It must have been written all over his face.

“Not really. I was forced here by Sam, Peggy and Sharon. Apparently I don’t get out much.”

“I’m in the same boat as you, I’m afraid. I’ve been so caught up with work that Natasha and Connie pulled me out here as well.”

“Oh. Where do you work?”

“I used to work at that clinic downtown, but I actually just bought this really nice place a few blocks away and I am turning it into my own clinic at the moment. So all my time and energy has been going into that.”

“Really? That sounds amazing.” Steve leaned forward a bit, a big grin on his face. “What kind of doctor are you?”

“Pediatrician.”

“Really?” Bucky laughed. “Yeah, I know. I don’t look like one.” Bucky said as he raised his left hand up. Steve only glanced at the arm for a second before he looked back at Bucky. “But hey, it’s my job, so…”

“Well, I’m sure you’re an excellent doctor.” Steve replied with a smile. Bucky smiled at him before taking a drink.

“Well, I haven’t had any complaints yet.” Steve let out a small laugh as he began to feel more relaxed. Bucky instantly knew how to make Steve feel at ease. He immediately noticed his discomfort and made Steve feel like he had known Bucky his whole life. “So, since you said you’re not really an artist, what kind of art do you do?”

“Oh, um, well…” Steve didn’t really know how to put this. “Well, like Natasha said, I have illustrated a few children’s books. I know this guy and well, we work well together, so the one I’m working on now is like, my fifth with him.”

“Wow, but like, the guy is published, right? So people actually buy the books and everything?” Steve laughed.

“As far as I know, yeah, people buy them.”

“Well, fuck me man, I would say that that makes you a pretty accomplished artist, if your shit is published.” Steve looked down at his feet, trying really hard not to blush. “What else do ya do?”

“Um, well, I have done some comic book illustrations, but nothing too popular. I also do some photography in my spare time, but I haven’t in a long time, been too busy. And I, well, I don’t know. I just draw stuff.” He replied with a little laugh. Bucky just nodded.

“I see. Well, I take it you enjoy being an artist?”

“Yeah.” Steve said with a big smile, leaning forward. “Oh my god, yeah. I love drawing. I usually have a sketchbook with me everywhere I go, just in case I see something I like. But yeah, definitely no regrets here.”

“That’s good, Steve. Say, do you have some sort of….”

“James.” Steve and Bucky both looked over as Connie walked over to them. She completely ignored Steve and grabbed Bucky by the hand and pulled him up.

“What is it?” He asked, concern covering his face.

“I want to dance, come on.”

“But I was…”

“Come on.” She interrupted, pulling him away. Bucky just sighed and followed after her. He did turn back and gave Steve his best ‘I’m sorry’ look. Steve just smiled and waved him off before slunking back into his seat.

Well, so much for that.

He pouted for a few seconds before he stood up and made his way over to the railing. Everyone else was either at the bar getting a drink or conversing amongst themselves. Steve had a feeling he was going to leave soon. He had met someone new, who also happened to be the most attractive person he had ever met, and that was enough for him.

He had interacted with the world and now he wanted to go back to his nice comfy couch.

Steve could hear Tony Stark. His voice echoed through the club. But he couldn’t quite see him. Most likely he was on a stage somewhere near the back. At least he would get to avoid that encounter if he left soon.

He had met Tony Stark a total of three times while he was with Brock and Steve wasn’t in any big hurry to add another one in.

Steve looked out at the dance floor and instantly spotted Bucky and Connie. They were dancing close and they looked happy. Steve couldn’t deny that. Bucky had his hands on her waist while Connie had her fingers intertwined in his hair as she pulled him down to her level.

Normally this would be something he would be itching to draw. He loved seeing people in love, knowing that he had never really ever felt that before, he loved seeing other people in love. Seeing that they were happy. It was something truly amazing to see.

Steve had thought he had been in love once, with Brock, but he found out it was all just one big lie.

Besides, he didn’t want to draw the most gorgeous man he had ever seen in love with someone else.

That was just asking for trouble.

“I see Natasha introduced you to Bucky.” Steve looked over as Peggy leaned against the railing, looking right at him. She wasn’t smiling. Instead she had her serious ‘I’m worried about you’ look on. Steve knew that wasn’t a good sign. He could already tell he was going to be getting a lecture. How had he messed up already? He hadn’t even done anything yet.

“I did. He seems really nice.”

“Does he now?” Peggy smiled then, but it wasn’t a genuine smile. And it worried Steve a bit.

“Yeah. I’m surprised you’ve never mentioned him before.” Steve said, turning so that he was facing Peggy fully.

“Because I didn’t want to have the talk that I am about to have with you right now.”

“Peggy…”

“I’m not stupid Steve. I know what your type is. One look at Bucky and I knew you would be head over heels for him.”

“I am not…” He started but Peggy just gave him a look. “Alright, he is attractive, but I still don’t know him so, like nothing is going to happen.”

“Steve.”

“What?” Steve suddenly felt really tired. He was not in the mood for this. If Peggy was so worried about this why did he even invite Steve out tonight in the first place? She had known he would be there.

“I have known Bucky for a while now. He and Natasha have been friends since like, birth. So, I have known Bucky for as long as I have known Natasha. Those two seemed to come hand in hand.”

“So?”

“So, Steven.” Peggy said as she stepped closer. “Bucky is as straight as they come. He and Connie have been together for almost four years now. We are all pretty sure that he going to propose to her soon.” Steve felt his stomach drop. He didn’t know why because he didn’t know Bucky. He had just met him minutes ago. It shouldn’t matter to him.

“That’s very good for him.” Steve was proud that his voice came out strong and not as weak as he felt.

“I am just telling you this, so you don’t get hurt.”

“What do you mean?”

“Don’t fall for the straight man, Steve. It will only end in pain for you.”

“I’m not going to fall for him Peggy. I probably won’t even see him again.” Peggy just gave him a look as she pulled herself from the railing.

“Whatever you say Steve. Just, be careful.” Steve nodded as he looked back on the dance floor. He knew Peggy was still watching him and Steve knew that he needed to get out of here.

“I’m going to go.” Steve said, heading towards the stairs. Peggy turned and looked at him, giving a small nod before going off to where Sharon and Sam were.

Steve made his way downstairs and through the crowd of dancing couples and random people as fast as he could without actually running out of the club. He didn’t even try and look for Bucky. He just saw the door and made his way there as quickly as possible.

The cool air felt wonderful against his skin, and he honestly hadn’t realized how hot he had been in there. He took a deep breath and started heading back to his apartment.

As he walked back to his apartment, he couldn’t help but think about what Peggy had said. It almost made it seem like Peggy knew something that Steve didn’t. Which was just odd. Peggy was normally very open with him and told him everything.

Steve wasn’t going to see Bucky again. Peggy had no reason to worry about that.

Bucky probably didn’t even live around here. And since he was a doctor, he probably had no free time at all. He had told Steve that he didn’t have much free time anymore. And even if Bucky did, he probably spent it with Connie.

Steve didn’t see Natasha very much, so yeah, there was no way he was going to ever see Bucky again.

Although, Steve would be lying to himself if he said he didn’t want to see him again.


	2. (5.)

Steve woke up early to get a head start on his illustrations for the day. He had a set schedule for when everything was supposed to be done and he hated to say it, but he was a bit behind. His next due date was approaching fast. So he needed all the time he could get to work on it so he could send Peter what he had.

Not that Peter would mind if he was a bit late.

But Steve would mind. He needed to get something done. Steve walked into the kitchen, bare feet thumping against the hardwood floor as he gathered everything to make himself a hot cup of coffee.

“You up for a run?” Sam said as he walked out of his room. Steve turned around and almost laughed at Sam’s expression. Sam was eying his red, white and blue flannel pajamas. They were new and Steve had seen them one day when he was running errands and he couldn't pass them him.

“Not today Sam.” Steve replied with a laugh as he grabbed his mug and started making his way to his little studio. That was one of the perks of this being Steve’s apartment first. Steve had rented out this apartment because it had the studio space. But there was a rough time for Steve right when he moved in. He had gotten really sick (which never happens) and his bills skyrocketed. So Sam, being the best friend that he is, decided to move in with him, to help him out. And it has been that way ever since.

“Why in the hell are you up this early if you ain’t runnin’?”

“I do have a job you know. Remember?”

“Yeah yeah.” Steve heard Sam reply before shutting the door to the studio. Steve let out a small sigh as he gathered up everything he needed.

It would be a long day, but as long as everything went according to plan, then it would be totally worth it.

* * *

Steve worked until lunch and he still felt like he hadn’t accomplished much. He had gotten two illustrations sketched out and one outlined. But he wasn’t completely confident with how they turned out, so he might try and redo them later on.

He walked back out into the apartment and smiled when he saw Sam lounging on the couch playing his PS4.

“How’s it going?” Steve asked as he grabbed himself a water bottle from the fridge and made his way back over to Sam.

“Good. I’m just peachy. Saw some pretty cute girls on my run this morning.” He glanced over at Steve who just shrugged. Not real loss there. “How are your illustrations going?”

“Could be a lot better. I’m just not happy with what’s coming out. But everything I draw just looks awful.”

“Oh. Maybe you should take a break?” Steve just shrugged as he plopped down on the couch next to Sam.

“Maybe.”

“Dude, why aren’t you dressed yet? I know you have a hot bod and everything but y’know, I don’t have to see it all the time. My self esteem isn’t that high.” Steve just laughed as he lounged back to watch as Sam kicked some ass on some game Steve didn’t even recognize. Steve would finally get how one game worked and then Sam would go and buy another one. And sometimes, they all just meshed together.

It was about an hour later that Steve heard the distant sound of what was now his ringtone. He didn’t even know what it was. Peggy had put it on there one day after she heard the generic tone he kept on it. Steve jumped off of the couch and ran for his studio.

He never wanted to miss a call because it could be a potential client or an active client. Regardless of which is was, it was usually always something important.

He grabbed his phone and glanced at the number. He didn’t recognize it so now it was time to act like a professional. Possible new client.

“Steve Rogers.” He said as he sat back down on his chair, trying not to sound out of breath for running over here.

“Not an artist my ass, you are fuckin’ brilliant Steve.” Steve’s eyes widened before he recognized the voice of none other than Bucky Barnes.

“Bucky?”

“Oh, yeah, forgot that you don’t have my number. Hi. This is Bucky Barnes, y’know, from the other night.” Steve laughed.

“Yeah, I remember.”

“Where did you go that night? You were there one minute and gone the next.”

“Yeah, wasn’t feeling all that well so I left.”

“Oh, well I hope you are feeling better now.” Steve couldn’t help but smile at that. Bucky had actually wondered where he went. At least he had made some kind of impression on him.

“I am. I have been working on my illustrations all morning.”

“Ah, speaking of which.” Bucky replied and Steve could hear him moving over the phone. “Natasha showed me your online portfolio and seriously Steve, holy shit do you have some talent.” Steve laughed and looked down at his feet as he felt his face heat up. He was just so thankful that Bucky wasn’t actually here at the moment. He would hate to have Bucky see him blush this badly.

“Why did you look at my portfolio?” Steve blurted out without really thinking. “I mean, um, well, yeah, why?” Bucky let out a little laugh.

“I was curious.” Bucky replied. “Come on man, you tell me that you’re an artist, I’m gonna want to see your work.”

“Well, I’m glad you think that my artwork is alright, Bucky.”

“Seriously Steve, don’t sell yourself short when it comes to your work. Your work is fuckin' amazing.” Steve had always had people tell him that, but it was a habit for him and it was hard to not think that. It took him a while to get to where he was.

“I’ll try not to.”

“Anyways,” Bucky said with a laugh. “There was a reason I did call you, besides to congratulate you on how fuckin’ amazing you are.” Steve laughed. “I have a proposition for you, Steve Rogers.” Steve almost choked on his own spit.

God this was embarrassing. He hoped to God that Bucky didn’t hear that.

“What kind of proposition?”

“An art kind.” Steve laughed. “I’m in need of a man with your particular art talents.”

“Well that sounds ominous.” Bucky laughed and Steve couldn’t help but smile. Bucky’s laugh was one of the most beautiful things he have ever heard and oh god he was pathetic. He barely knew Bucky. He can’t be having thoughts like this.

“It’s not, trust me. But I wanted to meet up.” Steve took a deep breath. So he would be seeing Bucky again. Well, how about that.

“I can do that. When do you want to meet?”

“Um….” Bucky was silent for a bit. “How about Tuesday? For lunch. We can eat at Marty’s. You know where that is?”

“Yeah, I’ve been there.” Steve replied casually. He loved that place. Ate there any time he was in that area. “What time?” Steve grabbed a post it and started writing down a memo, not that he was likely to forget.

“How about 2?”

“Sounds good. See you then.”

“See you Steve.” Steve hung up the phone with a big smile on his face. That smile must have made him look ridiculous or something because when Sam saw him, all he did was laugh.

“What has got you so happy? You getting’ laid or something?”

“I think I have a new client.”

“Oh really? And who is this new client? Someone I know?” Sam replied with a little wink.

“Bucky Barnes.” Sam choked on his drink before he looked over at Steve.

“What?”

“Yeah. We are going to meet on Tuesday to discuss his art proposition.”

“Oh, well, um, that’s great Steve.” Steve didn’t miss the concern that filled Sam’s voice.

“You sound like Peggy.” Sam sighed and leaned back against the couch.

“We just want you to be happy and to not get hurt.”

“I won’t get hurt. Have you ever known me to fall for one of my clients?”

“No. But none of them have ever looked like Bucky Barnes.”

“I will be careful, don’t you worry.” Sam just nodded as he went back to his game. Steve didn’t say anything else as his good mood was instantly sucked from him. He wasn’t that predictable, was he? When it came to guys. He fell pretty hard for Brock, but that was all over now. He wasn’t going to fall head over heels for the first guy that paid attention to him.

That would just be ridiculous.

He would strive for friendship, because, well, Bucky seemed like an amazing person. And it couldn’t hurt to be friends with the guy, could it?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading guys! Let me know what you think! :)
> 
> And I know this chapter is on the short side, but I will try and make up for it in the next one!


	3. (7.)

Steve walked into Marty’s 15 minutes early on Tuesday. He had been so nervous about today that he barely slept at all the night before. He didn’t know why he was so nervous about seeing Bucky again. This was just another business meeting. That was all. Nothing more. But that didn’t stop Steve from dressing up in some of the nicest clothes he owned. Although he didn’t feel 100% like himself.

He was tired as fuck. Since he couldn’t fall asleep, he decided to try and get something done and ended up staying up all night sketching and to his luck, he actually liked what he came up with. He sent them to Peter bright and early this morning.

Marty’s was a small little old fashioned diner. It had a very retro look to it and it served amazing food. The outside wasn’t in the best condition, people normally bypassed it, but it was amazing. Everyone in the area knew about this place, so most of the customers were their regulars. Steve had stumbled across this place a few years ago after a meeting with a client. He instantly fell in love with it and made it his mission to come here any time he was in the area.

Right now, the diner was incredibly vacant, mostly just full of all the regulars that came here on their late lunch. Steve had even recognized a few people. Steve gave them his best smile, he even nodded at the cook from behind the counter.

The owner of Marty’s (Marty, go figure, right?) liked him and would always make sure he got his food as fast as possible. Marty also happened to be the cook here and he was probably the best cook Steve had ever encountered. Steve had been here enough that he also knew most of the waiters here, and they knew him. They even knew his order by heart most of the time, although they were nice enough to ask him, just in case he changed his mind. One waitress in particular, Darcy Lewis, always seemed to be working when he was here. She was definitely his favorite. She smiled over at him as he walked in and found a seat near the back.

It wasn’t his usual spot, but he could scope out the entire restaurant from here and see when Bucky came in.

If Bucky came in.

That was one of the reasons Steve hadn’t been able to sleep last night. What if Bucky ditched him? Even though this was NOT a date and Steve really needed to stop seeing it as one.

This was pathetic and Steve really needed to get a grip on himself.

Darcy walked right up to him and smiled. “What can I get for you today sweetie?”

“Hello Darcy.” Steve responded with a smile. “I’ll just have some water right now. Thank you.”

“Expecting someone else, lover boy?” She asked, smirking down at him, even giving him a little wink. Steve took a deep breath and looked up at her, giving her his best down to earth smile (a term Sam came up with, not him).

“As a matter of fact, I am.”

“Lookit you.” She said, shoving his shoulder a bit. “You got yourself a date. I’m so proud of ya Steve.” Steve let out a small cough.

“Not a date Darcy. Professional meeting. Potential client.” Darcy just laughed.

“Mmhhmmm. You sure don’t seem like this is some professional meeting. You’re nervous like it’s a date. And this is the most dressed up I have ever seen you. But whatever. Best of luck to ya.” She responded before walking off to get his water. Steve let out a small sigh and maybe agreeing to meet here wasn’t exactly the best place.

He knew Darcy always worked Tuesdays and that she would bug the hell out of him about this. Steve should have picked some place smaller and more remote. Some place new, where he didn’t know anyone.

Darcy brought his water back over and gave him another big smile like she knew his deepest darkest secret before walking away. It was almost two now and Bucky still wasn’t here.

Every time the bell chimed on the door, Steve would bolt up and see if it was Bucky. It wasn’t.

This was getting ridiculous. He was acting like some nervous teenager on his first date. He was better than this. Bucky was a potential client and possibly, a potential friend. He could remain calm. He had done this millions of times before. He could get through this. He could.

Of course all that went out the window when Bucky walked into the restaurant. He was wearing a pair of light grey slacks and red button up shirt that was tucked in and buttoned up to his elbows and god, why was that so attractive? His shirt showed off just how fit he was and just, hot damn. Steve was sure his mouth was hanging open and he was probably drooling due to his brain short circuiting. Bucky’s hair was pulled back again but god, he looked so good, like he stepped right out of a goddamn GQ magazine.

“Hey Steve.” Bucky said with a smile as he walked over to the table. “Sorry I’m a bit late. Traffic was hell, strangely. It’s never this bad.”

“Oh it’s no trouble. I just got here too.” Steve lied with a smile. He was not going to admit that he had been here 15 minutes early. Steve was never good at lying but it seems Bucky bought it. Maybe he was improving?

As Bucky sat down, Darcy made her way back over, her shit eating grin right back on her face.

“What can I get for you Dr. Barnes?” She asked with a flirty wink and god, Darcy knew Bucky too? Of course she did. Bucky knew everyone, it seems.

“Hello Darcy. I will take an iced tea please.” He said, giving her his best smile. “Connie sends her regards, by the way.” Darcy let out a small snort before she walked off again. Steve didn’t know what that was about. But just from that small conversation it seems that Bucky has been here a lot too. How had Steve never run into him before? You would think that their paths would have crossed sometime. “So, how was your day Steve?”

“Oh, just fine.” Steve replied. “Couldn’t sleep much last night so I stayed up sketching some ideas for the book and well, they actually turned out quite decent.”

“That’s good to hear.” Bucky responded with a smile and Steve could tell that Bucky actually seemed interested in how things were going. It was interesting. “Although I’m sure your illustrations are fantastic even if you are well rested.” Steve just smiled down at the table, trying to not blubber something out like an idiot.

“So… How are things with you? Things still okay at your clinic?” Bucky laughed.

“Oh, things are going. Had a rough morning, but I’m glad you brought up the clinic because that’s sort of why I called you.” Steve straightened up a bit. But Bucky didn’t continue until after Darcy had brought his iced tea back and had gotten their food orders taken care of.

“You said you had an art proposition for me?”

“That I do. You may remember that I said I just purchased a new building for my new clinic. Well, it’s pretty bare.”

“You want me to decorate it for you?” Steve sounded a little skeptical. He had never had an offer like that. Sure people had wanted him to design some signature piece for a room or something, but never to decorate a whole building.

“I do. I think your art would be perfect for my clinic. I have some rough ideas of what I want, but you know, there are usually nice pictures to look at while you are waiting and even in the check-up rooms. Just little landscape pieces, nothing too major. I know I could go out and buy some, but I think actual art from someone I know would look so much better. I will pay you for each one and everything.”

“I see.” Steve said, taking everything in. This was quite the offer.

“I also, well, in the waiting room, I have a room that is for children, of course. Like a play room. And it has this long wall and I thought it would be perfect for a mural.” Steve’s eyes brightened at the thought. A mural? He hadn’t painted a mural in a long time.

“And you want me to do it?”

“I looked up the children’s book series you are doing and Steve, that is actually what I want. I mean, you can do whatever, but the style is just perfect. All the colors and everything. The children would love it.” Steve was silent for a bit. He was very intrigued by the idea. And Bucky seemed so enthusiastic to have Steve do this for him.

But a part of him knew that he should probably say no to this. He had been telling his friends ever since that night in the club that he wouldn’t get in over his head. That he wouldn’t fall for Bucky because he was better than that.

But he knew that if he was around Bucky for a long period of time, he probably would end up falling for him anyways. Steve looked up at Bucky and smiled.

It would be worth it. It would totally be worth it, just to be closer to Bucky. To get to know Bucky.

“The idea is very intriguing Bucky.”

“Really? So, is that a yes then?”

“That is an almost yes.” Steve replied with a laugh. “I would need to see the clinic and how much space I have and everything before I make a full decision.”

“Of course. Of course. We can go to the clinic after lunch actually, if you have time, of course.” Bucky looked up at him and in that moment, Bucky looked so young and innocent. He looked a little bit nervous, like he may have overstepped a boundary or something. He was biting his lip, waiting for Steve to answer and god, why was he so attractive?

Steve really shouldn’t be doing this. He really shouldn’t.

“Yeah I can come by. I don’t have any plans for the rest of today actually, so I’m good.” Bucky instantly smiled and straightened up.

“Perfect.” Darcy then walked over with their food and wow, talk about perfect timing.

“You boys enjoy, alright?” She said with a little smirk before walking away. Steve just ignored it though. He was too busy memorizing the smile on Bucky’s face so he could sketch it out later.

* * *

Bucky’s new clinic was a lot bigger than Steve had pictured. When Bucky had described it along the way (Bucky had insisted on driving them there, after Steve had told him that he had taken the bus to the restaurant) Steve had the feeling that it was like an office space in a plaza like building.

But no, it was an actual whole damn building.

Steve was impressed.

The building was in decent condition and it seemed that Bucky had done quite a bit of work on the place. He remembered that this place used to be a dentist office, but then the main dentist there died or something and then it had been abandoned ever since.

“This is amazing Buck.” Steve whispered as he looked around.

“Thanks. It has really progressed a lot since when I first bought the place. You wouldn’t believe the condition this place was in.” Steve glanced over at Bucky and smiled. Bucky seemed really proud of this place. It reminded him of how he felt when he finished a painting.

All of the walls were painted a fresh crisp white, so Steve really would have had a lot to work with here along the terms of color. He could do that. This job was becoming more and more appealing.

The front door opened up to a large front desk and a large waiting room. Steve could see a door in the back which he assumed led to the offices and check-up rooms. But it really was something. It was really nice.

“Ooh, this here is the children’s room.” Bucky said as he grabbed Steve by the arm and pulled him into a little room that was attached to the waiting room. Steve tried not to react too much to Bucky touching him.

Once they entered the room Bucky let go and took a few steps ahead of him and Steve so did not check out his ass, nope he did not. You couldn’t prove it if you tried.

“So, I was thinking that the mural would go along this wall, or well, hell, it could cover all of the walls if you wanted to.” Steve looked around and nodded. He could so come up with something that would cover all three walls.

“Is there anything you want for the mural? Anything specific you want on it?” Steve asked as he looked over at Bucky again. Bucky turned and smiled and god, that smile was going to be the death of him, he was sure of it.

“Um, well, I don’t really know. I don’t have anything at the moment but I would love to see what ideas you come up with, then we could go from there.”

“Sounds like a plan. So,” Steve said as he clapped his hands together. “What other rooms are you wanting paintings for?”

“Ah, of course!” Bucky replied with a smile, and he even clapped his hands together and god, he was so adorable and Steve was in such deep shit. Bucky walked passed him out of the room and towards the doors that Steve had assumed were offices. Steve followed right behind him. “These are the offices and the check-up rooms. I’m sure you probably assumed that already.” Bucky walked into one of the rooms and turned the light on. The room was big. There was nothing in it, of course, but the wall was painted the typical white.

“Obviously, there will be a desk and check-up chair and all of that in here. But, what I was wanting was some sort of painting for each room. Like some sort of landscape, to put the children at ease when they’re in here, you know?” Steve nodded.

“Yeah. I know what you mean. Those will probably be the easiest. I know of some beautiful places around here that I could use as references.”

“Really? You can just come up with something just like that?”

“Yep. Have to. When I’m doing my paintings or even my illustrations, I have to be able to come up with backgrounds on the spot sometimes.”

“Well, that is just amazing.” Bucky walked closer to Steve and Steve almost stepped back, but he refrained. He needed to be strong here. Bucky would not have this effect on him. “So, should we talk about payment then?”

“Um, I don’t really have a set cost. Usually people pay me what they think I deserve.” Bucky laughed at that.

“Well, I was thinking about buying all of your supplies, so anytime you go to the store, just let me know and I can tag a long, or you can show me the receipts and I can pay you back.”

“You really don’t have to do that…”

“I insist.” Bucky said, placing his metal hand on Steve’s shoulder, and normally Steve would have felt a little put off by that, but somehow it put him at ease.

“Alright, well, if you insist on that, then I’m going to have to insist that you wait to pay me until you have everything. I want to make sure you like what I give you before you pay me.”

“Steve…”

“No point in paying me for something you hate.”

“I’m not going to hate it punk” Bucky punched Steve lightly in the arm, which Steve didn’t really feel it, but whatever. “But fine, whatever.” Bucky smiled and pulled his hand away only to reach out again to shake Steve’s hand. Steve took a deep breath and reached out and grabbed his hand.

“It’s a deal.” Bucky’s handshake was firm and Steve made sure his fingers didn’t linger or anything like that. It was just a simple handshake, nothing to get too worked up over. “Alright, so I will need a couple days to plan out some ideas and everything, so I will give you a call when I have something to show you.” Bucky nodded, and seemed to be in somewhat of a daze because Steve was allowed to say his goodbyes and almost get to the door before Bucky remembered that he had driven Steve here.

“Whoa, hang on there buddy, I’m driving you home.”

“Honestly Bucky, I can walk. It’s not that far and…”

“No.” Bucky said as he grabbed his jacket and shoved Steve out the door, locking up behind him. “I insist.” Steve was about to protest again but Bucky just gave him a look and Steve gave up.

Besides, it wouldn’t hurt to hang out with Bucky just a little bit longer.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know what you guys think! :)


	4. (10.)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you everyone who has read,left kudos,comments and subscribed to this story. It means so much to me that you guys like it and are enjoying it! :)

Things were going pretty well for Steve lately. Peter had emailed him back saying that he absolutely loved the illustrations so far and that he was actually in the process of writing another book. That always made Steve happy, knowing that he had another job to do afterwards.

But for the past few days Steve had been working on some ideas for Bucky’s clinic. He had gone through some of his past photography to get some ideas for the landscape pictures Bucky wanted. He had some ideas, but he would most likely have to go out and take more pictures when it gets a bit warmer.

As for the mural, he had so many ideas for that. So he sketched them all. It couldn’t hurt. Last night he had emailed Bucky telling him that he had some sketches done so they could arrange a time to meet up and talk about them.

He still hadn’t heard anything from Bucky today, but Bucky was a very busy man and Steve needed to be patient. It wasn’t like he had to see Bucky as soon as possible. He had just seen him a few days ago.

It was only 9 in the morning. He needed to give Bucky some time.

Steve about jumped out of his skin when his phone rang. He answered it without even looking to see who it was. He was hoping that it was Bucky. “Hello?” There was a soft laugh on the other side and Steve relaxed when he recognized that it was Peggy.

“Waiting for someone special to call?” She teased and Steve knew she was getting a kick out of this.

“No. The phone just scared me ‘s all.”

“I see. Well, I’m leaving work early today for a doctor’s appointment, when I’m done, I was thinking we could have lunch.”

“Sure! That would be great. What time?”

“Possibly noon? Does that work for you?”

“Sounds great.” Steve jumped out of his chair when there was a knock on the door. Who could that be? “I have to go Peggy, someone is at the door.”

“Alright. See you later, Steve.” Steve didn’t even reply, he just hung up and made his way to the front door. Sam was already at work and he wasn’t expecting anyone so really, the person could be anyone. But who would be knocking on his door at 9 in the morning?

Steve wasn’t really ready to answer the door. He was still in his pajamas (this time he did have shirt on). He always wanted to make sure he was presentable when he answered the door. It could have been a client, and well, answering the door in your pajamas was not the most professional. He took a deep breath and opened the door.

And well, it was Bucky Barnes. Of course it was Bucky. It really couldn’t have been anyone else, knowing Steve’s luck.

Bucky looked fantastic. He was in a similar outfit to the one he wore the other day, except his shirt was green this time. And here Bucky looked like he walked out of a magazine, while Steve was in his pajamas and he was sure he had some serious bed hair.

God, had Steve even brushed his teeth this morning? His breath probably smelt awful. He hadn’t even showered. This was not how he wanted Bucky to see him.

“Bucky?” Steve watched as Bucky gave him a quick look over and well, that didn’t help Steve’s nerves at all either. Bucky was going to think Steve was a complete slob or something.

“Hey Steve, hope this isn’t a bad time?” Steve could see that Bucky now looked a little bit nervous. Like he was intruding or something. And well, now Bucky wasn’t even looking at him anymore. He was looking to the side.

“No, oh no. Now is just fine. Come in, come in.” Steve took a quick step back as Bucky walked in. Steve noticed that Bucky gave him another quick look-over before walking passed him.

“Nice pajamas.” Steve could see the smile on Bucky’s face and Steve let out a little laugh. It seemed that Bucky’s nervousness was gone now.

“Well, what can I say? I guess I am very patriotic. Born that way, y’know?”

“What do you mean?” Bucky turned around and looked at him. Steve could tell he was more comfortable now. This was Bucky that Steve liked to be around.

“My birthday is July 4.” Steve almost laughed at how fast Bucky’s face fell into a shit eating grin.

“Are you shittin’ me?”

“Nope. Look.” Steve walked over to where his wallet was sitting on the counter and grabbed his license. He pulled it out and handed it over to Bucky.

“Well, all be god damned. I don’t think I have ever met anyone who was born on the 4th of July. I mean, I know that there are probably hundreds of people who are born that day, but it just all seemed very unlikely.”

“Well now you have officially met someone.” Bucky handed the license back. Steve couldn’t help the heat that spread through him when their fingers touched. God, he really needed to get a grip on this schoolboy crush. It was getting to the point of being pathetic.

“I really hope I wasn’t interrupting anything. I really just came over on a whim and I didn’t really think if you had plans or anything.”

“Nope.” Steve replied with a smile, making his way over to the couch. “Just woke up actually. I was up late last night working so, yeah, nothing too much happening here. So you aren’t interrupting or anything.”

“Ah, well, I got your email and I couldn’t really wait to plan a day to meet up, and I really wanted to see what you had done in person. So, I am here.” Bucky smiled sheepishly up at Steve and it was adorable. Bucky was adorable.

“Of course. Come with me.” Steve made his way back to his studio and Bucky followed. Usually Steve never let anyone come into his studio. Sam has only been in here a few times and they lived together. Steve liked his privacy when it came to his art. If he wanted someone to see something, he usually brought it out to the living room or something.

But there was just something about Bucky that made Steve want to show him every aspect of his life. It was crazy but Steve wasn’t going to fight it. Bucky made Steve feel at ease, and he felt that Bucky wouldn’t judge him.

Steve walked in and went straight to his desk. He pulled up a chair for Bucky to sit in before he sat down. Bucky sat down a few seconds later. Steve could tell that Bucky was slowly taking everything in, but he didn’t stare too long, which was polite.

“Alright, show me what you got.” Steve looked over at him and smiled before he pulled out the little file he had designated for this project with Bucky.

“Okay, um, well, we’ll look at the landscape stuff first.” Steve pulled out some photographs. “These are some stock pictures I have on file. I went through them all and picked out the ones that I think would look good.” Steve handed them over to Bucky and Bucky spent a few minutes going through them. He didn’t say anything as he went through them and Steve couldn’t read his facial expressions to see if he liked them or not.

“These are good Steve.” Bucky said as he smiled up at him. “You really are something else. Great artist, good photographer, you are just everything piled into one man.” Steve didn’t know what to say to that and he tried really hard not to blush.

He scooted his chair a bit closer and took the photographs back.

“I will have to get more pictures when it warms up, but I’m thinking of blending some of these places together. Like, using this background with this waterfall and all of that. I think it could turn out to be really amazing. It’s what I usually do when it comes to landscapes. It’s almost like creating a fantasy land.”

“Well I trust you Steve. You are the artist here, not me.” That was always nice to hear.

“Alright. You are putting quite a bit of faith in me.” Steve said and Bucky leaned forward.

“I may not know you that well, but I am a good judge of people, Steve. And you are definitely someone I can put my faith in.” Steve smiled at that and he knew he was probably smiling like an idiot but whatever. He didn’t care. Not right now.

“Thanks Buck.”

“What?”

“Huh?” Steve asked.

“What did you just call me?” He didn’t sound mad, he sounded more amused than anything.

“Buck. Sorry, I’ll try not to do that again.”

“No. No. I like it. No one has ever called me that before. Everyone either calls me Bucky or James.” Bucky was full on grinning now and Steve couldn’t help but smile back. Bucky was beautiful when he smiled. Steve was going to memorize that smile so he could draw it later.

Maybe if he worked up enough courage, he could ask Bucky to pose for him or something. His metal arm would be amazing to draw.

“Alright then. Um, let’s move on to the mural, shall we?” Bucky nodded as Steve put away the pictures and pulled out papers he had with his notes about the mural. “The mural is giving me the most trouble. But I think I have some ideas down.” Steve handed over the papers for Bucky to see. “I figured it would be a lot of children doing everything, playing outside, playing doctor or house or anything really. Maybe show a little bit of the town and parks and everything. I honestly have so many ideas running through my mind I can’t seem to pinpoint just one.”

“I think I like the idea of the city. Like all of the beautiful spots, like the parks and well, anything else you think would look good. To really focus on how beautiful and wonderful this city is would be a fantastic idea.”

“Alright then. I can go out and do more research and everything. Get a better idea of what exactly is going to be included on this. Then I can let you know what I decide on.”

“Sounds like a plan.” Bucky replied as he leaned back in the chair, a big grin spreading across his face. “So, Steve Rogers, tell me a bit about yourself.”

“What?” Steve blurted out as he dropped the papers he was holding. He quickly picked it up and tried to force down the blush he was now sporting. God, Bucky had just asked a simple question. Why was he blushing so much? Steve barely ever blushed and one simple look from Bucky has him blushing like a teenage girl.

“I have known you for a few days now, but I don’t really know anything about you. Besides what Nat has told me, but I don’t really count that. I think we are going to be seeing a lot of each other coming up, so I think it would be best if we actually knew each other.”

“Oh, well, um…”

“Should I go first?” Bucky responded and he was just so positive and easy going. It was unbelievable. Bucky had this natural charisma that just drew everyone into his little bubble. And Steve was getting sucked right into it.

Steve didn’t really respond, just nodded his head, to let Bucky start.

“Alright, well, my name is James Buchannan Barnes. In case you were wondering where Bucky comes from, it’s from my middle name. No one calls me James except Natasha and Connie, when she is pissed at me.” Steve let out a little laugh at that.

“I am 28 years old and I have only been a doctor for not even a year, really. I got a job at the old clinic that I worked at right after I graduated. I had done some work with them before, so they hired me right after. But, I realized that wasn’t really for me, that I wanted my own place. So, yeah, here I am.” Bucky let out a little laugh. “Oh, and my arm.” Bucky raised his left hand and well, Steve wasn’t going to ask about it, but if Bucky was willing to tell him now, then, well, Steve wasn’t going to deny that.

Bucky pulled his shirt sleeve a bit, showing off more of the arm and god, it was beautiful. It was so intricate and Steve wanted to know more about it. How much feeling did Bucky get in it, where did he get it from? How does it all work?

“I was in a really bad accident a few years back. Lost complete function in my arm. They had to amputate it and everything. I was in a bad place at the time. But then Natasha mentioned her employer, Tony Stark, and they came up with this bad boy right here. It was amazing. I have complete feeling back and everything. It’s like a regular arm and everything, just, you know, metal.” Steve smiled and was quite happy that Bucky seemed to be at ease with him. To reveal so much about himself.

“Okay, um, well, I don’t know how I’m going to top a metal arm.” Bucky laughed and leaned back in his chair again.

“Well, why don’t you tell me something funny, or something I wouldn’t quite believe about you.”

“Ah, I got the perfect story for you then. Believe it or not, but when I was younger, before puberty kicked it and my body stopped hating me, I used to be this skinny kid who always got his ass kicked.”

“What? No way, I want proof of this.” Steve just laughed as he pulled out his phone and went through all his facebook pictures. When he found one that someone from his high school had posted, he showed it to Bucky.

Bucky just grabbed the phone and stared at it for bit. Steve saw Bucky touching the screen, but he didn’t really think too much of it. The picture hadn’t been the best so he was probably just getting a better look.

“Wow.”

“Yeah, pretty awful, right?”

“No. I mean, you were scrawny and everything, but you still look like you.” Steve didn’t really know how to take that. People usually just laughed when they saw what he used to look like.

“Well, no one else felt that way. Everyone saw me as some little punk with a mouth that didn’t really match up to his body. I was always picked on and no one liked me.”

“Why did you get picked on so much?”

“Well, mostly it was my fault.” Steve said as he took his phone back. “I didn’t like bullies. I still don’t. So anytime someone was being picked on, I went in to save the day. I was usually never victorious.” Bucky smiled at him.

“But I bet it was worth it, right?”

“Every time.” Steve said with a smile. “And well, when I wasn’t getting beat up, I was sick. I swear it was a miracle that I made to puberty, with how many times I almost died from sickness.”

“What?” Bucky’s face was hilarious, Steve couldn’t help but laugh. Bucky looked so traumatized.

“Yep. I had so many problems. I still do, they just don’t come on as often. But when I do get sick, it is for a while. But I got most of my issues figured out in high school. So everything is good now.”

“Well, I must say, I am glad that things aren’t as bad now.” Steve just laughed.

“Yeah.”

“I’m sure if I would have known you back then, I would have helped you kick all of those guys’ asses.” Steve laughed.

“I appreciate the gesture. It would have been nice having a friend back then.” Bucky just smiled. Steve figured out right then that he loved making Bucky smile. If he could make Bucky smile like that all the time, Steve would be happy forever.

* * *

Steve didn’t know how long he and Bucky had talked. They each spoke about funny stories from high school and college. Bucky had laughed so hard that he fell out of his chair when Steve had told a story about the fire alarm going off while he was in the shower and having to stand outside in the cold in just his towel.

Steve had gotten a date out of it, but still, it was cold and the man turned out to be a total dick so it was not worth it. Of course, he hadn’t told Bucky that his date was a guy. Steve didn’t feel like revealing that to him yet. He still didn’t know Bucky well enough to know how he would react.

Steve felt bad since Bucky had opened up about his arm. And he trusted Bucky. But he wasn’t quite ready to reveal that this early on in the friendship.

Besides, his sexuality wasn’t something that needed to be said. He would reveal it when he was ready. Or, well, if he didn’t reveal it he was sure one of his friends would let it slip somehow.

Steve, of course, had realized that they had been talking for a while and did mention it to Bucky, but Bucky just laughed and said he had nothing else to do today. He was supposed to meet up with Connie for lunch, but Bucky didn’t really seem that concerned about it.

So then they started talking about Bucky’s horror stories from some of his interesting clients at the clinic. Steve didn’t know how he did it. Steve had had some interested clients himself, wanting some very interesting commissions, but nothing compared to some of the people Bucky had dealt with.

They were thrown out of their conversation when the front door opened. Steve knew it couldn’t have been Sam. He didn’t get off work until five. No one else would just walk into his apartment except for-

“Steve! I brought take-out!” Peggy. He had forgotten that he had agreed to lunch with her. Steve quickly stood up and walked out of his studio. Peggy was standing at the kitchen counter pulling out the take-out from the bag. She had gotten Chinese, his favorite.

Peggy looked amazing as always, wearing her usual pantsuit and her hair was curled to perfection. And, as usual, she was wearing the bright red lipstick that always left a mark when she kissed Steve on the cheek. She must have heard him walking towards her because she turned around and smiled.

“Steve, darling.” She walked over to him and pulled him into a quick hug. “Still in your pajamas, like always I see.” She replied with a laugh as she turned back around to the food. “I picked up Chinese, I know how much you love it.”

“Of course.” God, how could he have forgotten about this? Well, of course, if Bucky is around Steve tends to forget about everything. But how was he going to explain this to her? He hadn’t really told anyone else about working for Bucky except Sam. “Um, Peggy…” Steve started to say as Peggy turned around and well, he didn’t get the chance to tell her Bucky was here. Because she had already seen him as Bucky was now standing in the hallway. He looked nervous again.

“Bucky.” Peggy said with a smile. She didn’t look upset or anything, but Steve was sure he was going to get a lecture as soon as Bucky left. “What brings you here?” Steve saw all of the nervousness leave Bucky as he put on his master smile.

“Oh, Steve is doing a commission for me. We were going over some of the details.” He replied with his usual smile, but Steve felt like the smile may have been a little forced. Just from the way Bucky was holding himself. He looked much more cocky then he usually did. He didn’t seem uncomfortable at all. Not like Steve did. There was a lot of tension going on in the room and Steve didn’t know what to make of it.

“Is he? I wasn’t aware.” Peggy looked over at Steve and yeah, Steve was going to get it later.

“Do you want to stay for lunch?” Steve asked as he walked over to get some plates. He needed to say something. The tension in the room was about to strangle him. “There is plenty here.”

“Oh. I would love to, but I promised I would meet up with Connie so, I should probably leave.” Right. Bucky had mentioned that earlier.

“Alright. I will talk to you later then.”

“See you Steve. Bye Peggy.” Bucky gave them both a smile before leaving the apartment. Steve set the plates down on the counter and carefully avoided Peggy’s eyes. He went to get some forks instead.

“Steve.”

“No Peggy.”

“Steve…” Peggy grabbed his wrist and squeezed it so hard he dropped his fork.

“Peggy, what the hell?”

“Why was Bucky here?”

“Um, because I am doing a commission for him, just like he said.”

“Steve.”

“He called me and asked me about my work. I didn’t start it. I mean, I know I should have probably refused, but, I mean, what is the worse that could happen?” Peggy let out a deep breath but Steve was not in the mood to hear this right now.

“Steve.”

“Peggy, don’t. I just, like, why are you acting like this? You and Sam both. You want me to stay away from Bucky, but you were the ones who wanted me to go to that damn club in the first place. I didn’t want to go, remember? You knew he was going to be there and you say you know my type. So why invite me at all?”

Peggy didn’t say anything as she looked at him and Steve could see that she looked a little upset. He hadn’t meant to upset her but really? If she wanted him to stay away from Bucky, she shouldn’t have invited him out. If he hadn’t gone to the club, who knows if he would have ever met Bucky?

Steve was very thankful that he had gone, because Bucky was amazing. And he was so thankful that he had met Bucky. But still. Bucky wouldn’t have been a part of his life if it hadn’t been for Peggy.

“I admit, it wasn’t the best way to go about it.” Peggy said after a few minutes of silence. “And I trust you to make your own decisions, Steve. You’re a big boy. You can watch after yourself.” Peggy took a step towards him and grabbed both of his hands.

“Peggy.”

“I knew that Bucky was exactly your type. And I knew you would like him, but I watched you Steve. You were pretty much staring at him with hearts in your eyes. Everyone noticed.” Steve took a step back. He hadn’t made it that obvious? If he had, Bucky would have noticed and would not have called him to do a commission for him.

“I did not have heart eyes, Peggy.” Peggy just gave him a look and Steve was going to ignore that. “I like Bucky. I do. He seems like a great guy. But I’m not stupid. He is taken. And straight, so yeah. Not gonna happen Peggy. No matter how much I want it to, it’s not. I know that.” Peggy gave Steve a small smile. Peggy always wanted what was best for Steve, and he knew that she was just looking out for him.

“Sam and I are just worried. We know you Steve. We know how you are.” Steve let out a small sigh and he didn’t want to have this conversation. Not right now. “When you like someone, you fall for them, and you fall for them hard.”

“Peggy…”

“I’m just looking out for you. I wouldn’t be your friend if I wasn’t looking out for you all the time.”

“I know. I just…I know Brock hurt me and you and Sam are really worried about me and everything, but I’m fine. And like you said, I can handle myself.” Steve took a deep breath. “I like Bucky. I see him with the potential for friendship. I may want more, but I know that’s not going to happen so friendship is perfectly fine with me. I know I probably shouldn’t have accepted the commission but I’m only human.”

“I know you are Steve.”

“And if this all comes back to bite me in the ass, then you can personally call me out on it.” Peggy just gave him a small smile.

“Let’s eat. I’m starving.” Steve just nodded and grabbed the plates and handed her one. He wasn’t even hungry anymore.

He knew all the potential this had to end badly, but he couldn’t help it. He loved taking risks and Bucky was the best kind. He really liked Bucky. It was weird how attached he got to him in these few short days, but he wanted Bucky in his life.

And if it was only as a friend, well, Steve would make it happen. He was not going to fuck this up.


	5. (17.)

“Thanks for giving me a ride Sam.” Steve said as he glanced out the window at the moving buildings passing them by.

“No problem. Like I said, I was on my way out and heading that direction anyways.” Steve just nodded.

Steve had called Bucky last night to see if it was alright if he came by the clinic today, to get proper measurements of the rooms and to get a more in depth look at what exactly he was going to do. Last time he had visited he hadn’t gotten the chance to really examine things thoroughly. He had been too preoccupied with Bucky.

Bucky had been more than happy to have him over. In fact, ever since Bucky had come over to Steve’s apartment, Bucky had been talking with him almost every day. It of course, made Steve much happier these days.

At first Steve didn’t know what to think. Bucky had just texted him out of the blue with a simple _hey_ and well, Steve wanted to keep things professional and stuff at first. So Steve sent back a simple _hi_ and then Bucky went into full on story-telling mode. Telling Steve about the stupid delivery guys that had somehow managed to mess up his order and really, it was actually quite hilarious.

Steve had laughed so much that Sam had just given him a look from across the couch. Steve had tried to tame it down after that.

It had gone on all week. Steve and Bucky just texting each other funny stories from their day. Occasionally Bucky would call him to actually tell him the story and Steve loved those days more. Because hearing Bucky’s voice always made things so much better. And besides, hearing a story was a little more exciting than just reading it through a text.

And Sam didn’t say anything about it. After Steve would be smiling like an idiot at his phone for an hour, Sam would ask who he is talking to and when Steve would reply that it was Bucky, Sam didn’t really do anything. He just shrugged and went back to his game.

Steve hadn’t really expected that. But he suspected that Peggy may have talked with him about their conversation. Then again, Sam wasn’t as bad about the whole thing as Peggy was.

But Steve hadn’t seen Bucky in person that whole week and to say he was a bit excited about today was quite the understatement.

Sam pulled up to the clinic and parked the car. Steve glanced over at him and gave him a small smile.

“Thanks again Sam. I really do appreciate it.”

“No problem. I will text you when I am on my way back home to see if I can give you a lift back, alright?”

“Alright.” Steve said with another smile as he hopped out of the car. He gave Sam one last wave before making his way to the door. Steve took a deep breath before stepping inside.

“Bucky?” Steve said as he closed the door behind him. The front lobby was quiet but he was sure he heard some voices coming from the back. Steve decided that he would wait until they came out. He didn’t want to interrupt, and besides, they had to come out sometime.

Steve straightened up when heard the sound of heels clinking against the hardwood floor. The voices were coming closer and Steve recognized Bucky’s voice immediately, but he also recognized the other voice as Natasha’s. He wasn’t quite ready to see her again.

The door opened and both of them walked out. Bucky looked up and smiled.

“Stevie, so glad you are here.” Natasha stopped walking and looked over at Steve before smiling over at Bucky. Well, it was more of a smirk. That smirk was exactly the reason he wasn’t ready to see her.

She had a way of knowing exactly what was happening before he even knew it. She probably took one look at both of them and knew immediately of Steve’s feelings. It made him feel vulnerable.

“Steve.” Natasha said, putting on her best smile before walking over to Steve. Steve just smiled down at her as she leaned up and pressed a quick kiss to his cheek. “We need to have lunch sometime.” She said as she made her way to the door. And Steve knew that it wasn’t really an offer, it was more of a statement, that it was going to happen whether Steve wanted it or not. “James, we are going to finish that conversation soon.” Steve looked over at Bucky and saw that Bucky just rolled his eyes.

“Of course, Nat.” Steve didn’t say anything else until Natasha was all the way out the door.

“Good conversation with Natasha?” Steve said with a smile. Bucky just let out a small laugh.

“Oh you have no idea.” Bucky then turned his full attention to Steve and Steve took him in fully now. Bucky wasn’t dressed up like he normally was. Today he was in a simple white t-shirt and a pair of worn out jeans. His hair was pulled back in a simple ponytail. And god, he looked good.

Steve didn’t know which he liked better, Bucky dressed up or dressed down. Both were equally amazing and had their own special perks.

“I see you decided to get dressed today.” Bucky replied with a smirk and Steve just laughed.

“I see you decided to dress down.”

“Yeah, well, I’ve been moving things all over today.” Steve nodded and looked around. The waiting room actually had things in it today. There were twenty chairs all aligned but what really caught his eye was the color. They were the most god ugly green color Steve had ever seen.

Bucky must have seen him looking because he let out a small sigh.

“Don’t even mention the color.”

“It’s awful Buck.” Steve replied with a laugh.

“I know. Remember when I told you about the delivery guys fuckin’ everything up with my order? Well, those are the result of that fuck up and now I’m stuck with them.” Steve made his way over to the chairs, hoping that maybe the color wouldn’t be as bad up close.

But no, it was bad.

“What are you going to do? No one is gonna want to sit in these. They look like shit.”

“I know. God, like you don’t have to tell me twice. But I’m dealing with it. I just…I need to find someone to redo the color fabric and all that shit. But that comes later. I will deal with it all later.” Bucky replied with a smile, letting out a deep breath. “So, you wanted to get some measurements?”

“Yes. Just to know what I am dealing with.” Bucky just nodded and made his way to the room where the mural was going to be. Steve pulled out the tape measure that he had bought just for the occasion and his little notepad.

“Need any help?”

“Nope. I got it.” Steve responded with his signature smile and went to work measuring the room. Once he got all the measurements he needed, Bucky had already left. Steve hadn’t even heard him leave. Steve walked out of the room and was just about to call for Bucky when he heard a loud bang and Bucky shout. _“Goddammit!”_

“Bucky?” Steve replied as he set his things down at the front counter and made his way to the back. “Buck? You alright back here?”

“Steve.”Bucky’s voice sounded a little annoyed, but that wouldn’t deter him. Steve walked into the room and found Bucky trying to put together what looked to be a desk.

It was actually kind of adorable how frustrated Bucky looked. He was trying to jam one of the parts into someplace that it so didn’t belong and well, it was just hilarious. Steve couldn’t resist.

“Having some trouble?” Steve asked, putting on the act of pure innocence as Bucky looked up at him. Steve let out a small laugh at the look Bucky gave him. Bucky’s hair was a complete mess. It seemed that he had run his hands through it multiple times. Honestly, it was surprising any of it had stayed in the ponytail.

“As a matter of fact I am smartass.” Steve just smiled as he walked over, kneeling down next to him.

“Well, where are the instructions?”

“We don’t need the instructions.” Steve looked up at him and Bucky looked a little embarrassed. He wasn’t meeting Steve’s eyes. Great. But Steve really needed to instructions to put this desk together. Who knows how messed up it is?

“Buck, you really need the instructions, I mean, you won’t be any less masculine if you use the instructions. They are there to help you.” Bucky huffed out another sigh as he turned around, feeling around for the instructions. Once he found them he handed them over to Steve, looking a bit defeated.

“I could have done it without them, Steve.”

“I know. But it will go by a lot faster with them.” Steve said with a smile. “Ah, here is where you went wrong. This screw has to go in slot G instead of E.”

* * *

After finally managing to put the desk together, Steve helped Bucky assemble some of the other desks. Bucky had gotten over his little pouting session about the first desk and the instructions and didn’t put up a fight when Steve used them on each desk.

Bucky meanwhile vented more about all of the issues he was going through. But mostly it was about those ugly chairs. Steve said he would see if he could find anyone that could fix them. Steve did have a lot of connections. Surely one of them would know someone who could re-fabric some chairs.

Steve also brought up a work schedule. He had to finish his illustrations first and then he could work full time on the mural. Bucky was alright with that. Saying that he still had a few things to finish before Steve could begin painting. Of course, Steve said he could stop by some days to work on it, if he could, in between.

Bucky was up for that. He said he was going to be spending all his time here anyways. He was on a tight schedule now and he needed to get things done as soon as possible. But Bucky said he could always use the company.

“Bucky?” Both Steve and Bucky froze at the new voice. Steve looked over and found Connie standing in the doorway. She looked nice today. She was in a simple black dress and her hair was all curled up in what Steve thought was an old fashioned style. Steve turned to look at her and smile. “Oh, hello Steve.” She didn’t smile back. If anything, she actually glared at him.

Well, talk about welcoming. Steve’s smile fell from his face quickly as Bucky walked over to her. Steve didn’t know what he had done to get this cold reception from Connie. Honestly, he had only met her once, but apparently he had done something to earn that glare.

“Hey Connie, what are you doing here? Weren’t you going out with Bonnie tonight?”

“She had to cancel. I thought we could have dinner at that restaurant you have been talking about lately.” She replied with a smile as she moved in close to him. Bucky smiled down at her and pulled her close. Steve let out a deep breath and looked away.

He knew better than to watch. He needed to let them get some privacy.

He looked down at his phone and saw that he had missed a text from Sam. _You done yet, loverboy?_ Steve just rolled his eyes and typed out a reply quickly.

_Yeah, come pick me up._ He glanced over and saw that Bucky and Connie were cuddled together and Steve didn’t really need to be here for that. He slowly pulled himself up off the ground and quietly left the room.

Sam had texted him back and said he would be there in five minutes. Good. It was times like this that he really considered backing out of this whole thing. He knew it was just going to end badly for him. But he liked Bucky too damn much to just give up this easily. Besides, Steve was strong. He could keep his emotions in check.

Steve made his way over to the front desk and gathered all his things again. He looked up and saw Bucky and Connie walk out of the office. Bucky was in front and he looked concerned. That was never good.

“Stevie, there you are. I thought you just vanished without saying goodbye.” The award winning smile was back on Bucky’s face as he walked over to him.

“Oh, no. Just thought I would give you two some privacy.” Connie walked over and placed her hand through Bucky’s arms, and she gave Steve another look. Bucky didn’t see it but Steve did. It was a possessive look, like she was claiming Bucky as her own.

Did she notice how Steve felt? If she did, she wasn’t going to do anything about it, at least, not in front of Bucky. Hopefully. Steve really hoped that she wouldn’t.

“Do you need a ride home? We can drop you off before we leave. The restaurant is the same way as your apartment.”

“Oh, no. Sam is picking me up. Thanks though.”

“Are you sure? You’re not just lying to me are you?”

“Nope.” And just on cue, Sam pulled up outside. “See? Bye Bucky, bye Connie.” Steve grabbed his things and quickly ran out the door. He was almost there when he heard his name again. He looked over and saw Bucky walking towards him. He looked concerned again.

Steve really needed to stop overreacting. The way he was acting was sure to draw attention to himself and that was not what he needed right now.

“Steve.” Bucky walked up to him. “Are you alright? I’m sorry if we made you uncomfortable or anything. Connie just gets like that sometimes and just…” Steve laughed.

“Buck, it’s fine. I’m just tired, that’s all. I will talk to you later, okay?” Bucky looked at him for a bit, as if he was trying to figure out if he was lying or not. But whatever he saw must have convinced him that Steve was telling the truth because he backed off.

“Alright. See you later.” Bucky then bent down to wave at Sam before heading back inside. Steve hopped in the car and leaned back, closing his eyes.

“You okay there buddy?”

“Just get me home.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks again to everyone who has read, left kudos, commented and subscribed to this story. You are all amazing and always make my day. Let me know what you guys think! :)


	6. (22.)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks again to everyone who has read, commented, left kudos and subscribed to this story. It means a lot to me and you all are just wonderful! :)

Steve ended up spending the next few days locked up in his studio. He didn’t want to think about Bucky, or Connie, or anyone for that matter. Thinking about those things only made things worse.

All he cared about was his illustrations.

He woke up early in the morning and went straight to work. He only left his studio to go to the bathroom and grab something to eat. And go to bed. He barely even spoke to Sam. And he pretty much ignored his phone. He didn’t need to deal with the outside world at the moment.

All he cared about was getting his illustrations done.

But he needed this. He needed the distraction so he wouldn’t think too much about how happy Bucky looked when he was with Connie. And how in love they were with each other.

Yeah….he really didn’t need to be thinking about any of that.

Bucky was with someone. Bucky was happy with someone. Someone who was not Steve. Steve should not be feeling like this. He shouldn’t want this. This went against everything he believed in.

But when Bucky smiles at him, Steve can’t help but feel that little glimmer of hope. That maybe, just maybe, Bucky likes him back. Even if it is just a little bit.

Which is completely ridiculous and god, Steve was in such deep shit. Why was he thinking about this?

“God dammit.” Steve hissed out, slamming his fists into the table. He crumpled up his latest sketch and threw it in the trash. He needed to stop thinking about Bucky.

He looked over when there was a quiet knock on the door. He ran his fingers through his hair before he went to answer it. He knew it was Sam. It could have only been Sam.

Steve also knew that he could ignore it and Sam would leave him alone. But he felt bad. He shouldn’t be ignoring Sam like this. It wasn’t really fair to Sam. He hadn’t done anything wrong, it was all on Steve.

Steve had done this before when he and Brock broke up. When that happened Steve only left his studio to go to the bathroom and eat. He didn’t say a word to anyone who was there. Just walked back and forth.

He even set up a makeshift bed in there.

But his studio was the only place in his apartment that he didn’t have any memories with Brock. So it made it easier to block all of it out.

Steve opened the door and found Sam standing there, looking concerned and possibly a bit worried.

“Hey Steve.”

“Hello Sam.” Steve replied with a whisper. Steve kept his attention on the floor. He didn’t want to meet Sam’s eyes. He was reacting just like they had all said he would and he wasn’t really ready for the conversations that would come.

“Do you want to talk about it? I promise I won’t mention it to Peggy.” Steve just let out a small sigh and walked back over to his desk, letting Sam come in. Sam didn’t sit down though, he just kept his distance and waited for Steve to talk.

“I just. I never realized how much I could fuck up in a month. Like, god, it hasn’t even been a whole month.” Steve let out a little laugh. “Am I being completely stupid about this? Like be honest with me Sam. Am I just setting myself up for failure? For disappointment?” Steve looked up at Sam and Sam just sighed.

“You are a good person Steve.”

“What does that have to do with anything?”

“Just, hear me out, will ya?” Sam replied as he finally took a seat across from Steve. “I will admit, you falling for Barnes was not at all surprising. Hell, I would even be all for it if he wasn’t already with Connie. But he loves Connie. I know you don’t want to hear that right now, but he does.”

“I know. I have seen the way he looks at her. Trust me, I’m sure everyone who has ever been around them knows.”

“But.” Sam scooted a little closer to him. “Bucky likes you. I can see it when he talks about you, I can hear it in his voice. He thinks you are a great guy, Steve. He wants to be your friend.”

“I want to be his friend too.”

“Well, then be his damn friend. Try not to look at him as someone you want to fuck. Look at him like you look at me. Or Peter? Hell, even Peggy or Sharon. Act like you act around us. Be your charming self, but stop trying to impress him or do anything to get into his pants.”

“That’s not…”

“I have seen you spending an hour trying to pick out the best shirt that would bring out your eyes before you go to meet him, alright. You are trying to get him to notice you. Big time. He already has Steve, okay? So, just be a friend. Talk to him like a friend. Be there for him like a friend. But that’s it.”

“Okay.” Steve let out another deep breath. “It’s hard Sam. I told myself I wanted him as a friend, but I don’t know how I am going to keep masking my feelings for him. Or, well, my growing feelings for him.”

“Look, I know you can do this. I personally think you shouldn’t have agreed to the job at all. I think that in the end, it will be you getting hurt because you are going to fall too deep. But I’m not here to tell you not to fall for him because that would be impossible. There is no way I could prevent that. But I’m still going to look out for you, which is why you need to do the whole friendship thing first. You two can be alone but also try and do something with him and other people. It will make things a lot easier.” Steve nodded. Sam was right.

But still. Steve felt like every time he said something to Bucky, or talked to him or about him, he felt like his feelings were painted on his face for everyone to see. This would be hard. He hadn’t ever tried to be someone’s friend that he had a crush on.

It was a completely new experience for him.

And Peggy didn’t really count.

Steve was about to respond when he heard his phone go off. He looked down and saw that it was a text from Bucky.

He hadn’t heard from Bucky in days. He had texted Steve after the day at the clinic to make sure he was alright. But other than that, he hadn’t heard from Bucky all week.

_Hey Steve. Some of the guys are going out tonight to celebrate Clint’s promotion. Would like it if you were there._

Steve let out a deep breath as he just stared at the text.

“Bucky wants me to go out and celebrate with him and Clint.”

“Oh I know.” Sam said, standing up. “I’m going. It would be good if you came. But I would understand if you decided not to.” Steve nodded as Sam left the room.

Steve didn’t want to go. He wasn’t ready yet.

But he knew he should. Sam had said it would be good if he went out with Bucky with other people. And what better way to try that than by going out with a bunch of other guys. He pulled out his phone and sent a quick reply back to Bucky.

_I’ll come. I’ll catch a ride with Sam._

* * *

Steve and Sam walked up to the bar Bucky had told them to meet at. At least, he had mentioned it to Sam. Steve had decided with a more casual look this time. He was really putting into perspective what Sam had said and he was just going to be himself. He didn’t have anyone to impress tonight. Might as well be comfortable.

So he pulled on a worn out pair of jeans and a plain white t-shirt. Sam hadn’t said anything to him when he walked out of his room, just raised an eyebrow then walked off. Steve assumed that Sam approved of his clothes choice, especially since he didn’t say anything. (And Steve so did not spend an hour getting ready to see Bucky, maybe 15 minutes, 30 minutes tops. But not an hour, that was completely ridiculous).

The bar Bucky had picked was called Hydra. Steve had never even heard of it before. He hadn’t even known it existed. Then again, it was in a part of town he never came to.

It was rather large, and seemed to be quite popular. There were quite a few people there. And a wide variety of people too. There were a lot of younger people, along with some older ones and some around Steve’s age. It was different. The bar was very open though, so it didn’t seem so busy. But there were more people there than there usually was at the little bars Steve usually frequented.

There was a room near the back that had a bunch of pool tables and some arcade games. And there were tables spread out all throughout the bar to sit and Steve thought that maybe you could order food here as well. He couldn’t really tell from where he was.

It actually seemed like a nice place. Steve would definitely keep this place in mind when he needed a place to go out.

Steve looked around and smiled when he saw Bucky in the crowd. Bucky was standing at the bar laughing at something Clint had said. Steve could see Bruce standing in the background laughing as well.

“Yo, fellas!” Sam shouted as he walked over to them. Steve took a deep breath and put on his friendly smile and followed after him.

“Wilson!” Clint shouted as he clapped Sam on the back. Steve walked over to them and smiled.

“Hey guys.” Steve said as Clint smiled at them. He could smell the alcohol on Clint’s breath and god, he was pretty much drunk already. Bruce walked over to them and shook his hand.

“Steve, good to see you.”

“Good to see you too. Surprised, actually. Tony let you out early hm?” Steve joked as Bruce let out a small laugh.

“He doesn’t own me, Steve.” Steve just laughed as he glanced over at Bucky. Bucky was looking at him, a small smile on his face. Bucky looked good. Well, he looked more than good, he looked damn fine.

Then again, he always looked good to Steve. Wait, he wasn’t supposed to be thinking about that. Bucky’s looks didn’t mean anything to him. Steve gave him a small smile before he approached the bar and ordered a drink.

“How are you Steve?” Bucky asked, moving in close to him. Steve took a deep breath. He could do this. He just needed to remain calm and collected. Steve was so not going to tell him that he had been moping around his apartment for the past week. That would just be embarrassing.

“Good. I'm good. Nothing very eventful going on in my life, but I'm good.” Steve grabbed his beer and smiled at him.

“Oh. I thought something was wrong. I hadn’t heard from you for a while and well I was just…y’know.” Bucky looked up at him and Steve thought he looked adorable. He was worried about Steve. Although Steve hated to have Bucky worrying for him, it did make him look just plain adorable. “Just wanted to make sure everything was alright and all that.” Steve smiled bigger because now Bucky seemed almost nervous.

“Sorry if I worried you. I got sort of absorbed in my illustrations and avoided everyone. I get like that sometimes, y’know? Just block out the world and only focus on one thing.” Bucky nodded.

“Well, I’m glad you decided to come out.” Bucky gripped Steve on the shoulder and smiled.

“Me too.” Steve looked over and saw Sam looking over at him. Right Steve needed to be casual. This wasn’t all about Bucky. They were out celebrating Clint and his promotion. Steve turned his body a bit so he was facing Clint, but wasn’t completely avoiding Bucky. “So, Clint. You got a promotion?” Clint downed a shot and smiled, wrapping an arm around Steve’s shoulders, pulling him away from Bucky.

“Yeah man. I didn’t even know Stark gave promotions, but shit, this is amazing.”

“Well congratulations.” Steve said with a smile. He looked over and saw that Bucky was still looking at him. Steve couldn’t read the look on his face and again, Steve was mentally kicking himself. All of these things shouldn’t matter. Steve was about to say something to Bucky but he quickly looked away.

“Steven Rogers.” Steve looked over at the new voice. It was Natasha. Of course it was Natasha. She always seemed to pop up when he least expected it. Steve had thought this was just going to be a guys’ night, but of course Natasha would be here. She would be out celebrating with Clint. They were dating, of course she would be here. She was walking through the crowd towards them and Steve saw how everyone was looking at her now. Even the guys who had dates with them turned away from their dates to look at her.

Natasha looked beautiful, then again, she always looked beautiful. Steve was sure she could probably wear a trash bag and still be the most beautiful person in the room. But she looked even more beautiful in that red dress she was wearing. She smiled at them before winding herself between Steve and Clint. She pressed a quick kiss to Clint’s cheek before turning her full attention to Steve.

“Hello Natasha.”

“Are you free next Thursday?”

“Um, well, yeah…but.”

“Good. You and I have a lunch date.”

“What?” Steve said, but he realized that he wasn’t alone in that confusion. Bucky had stepped forward. Natasha just laughed.

“I’ll text you with the details.” Natasha then pulled Clint away and pushed him towards the others. Steve looked back and saw that Sam just looked confused. Steve was pretty sure there was a reason he didn’t want to go out tonight. And this was it.

Did Natasha know about his feelings for Bucky? Because, honestly, if anyone else was to know, it would be her. Because why else would she want to have lunch with him? Something was up and Steve was nowhere near prepared for it. He would probably never be prepared for that, to be honest.

“I’m sorry about Nat, I just…” Bucky said, stepping up to Steve again. Why was Bucky apologizing? He had no reason to apologize, especially for Natasha.

“No. It’s alright. It’s just lunch.” Steve replied with a smile. Bucky didn’t say anything as he took a long drink before looking back up at Steve.

“I have an inkling as to why she would want this lunch, I’m just hoping that I’m wrong about it.” Before Steve could respond, Bucky stalked off. Steve didn’t really know what to make of that.

Did Bucky know of his feelings too? Oh god. This was not good, not good at all. Maybe Steve should leave now before things got worse.

“Hey man.” Steve turned around and found Bruce standing next to him.

“Hey Bruce.” Bruce leaned forward a bit.

“Sam wanted me to tell you about that guy over there, in the corner, brown hair.” Steve looked over and indeed, there was a man back in the corner. He was attractive, Steve couldn’t deny that. He wasn’t exactly what Steve would normally go for though, but he was cute.

“What about him?” Steve looked over at the man again. He was looking right at Steve and he even winked at him. Steve quickly looked away.

“Sam says he has been eying you ever since you walked in.”

“So?” Steve didn’t really know where this was all going, well, that was a lie, he knew exactly where this conversation was going, but it all seemed really awkward coming from Bruce.

Why was Bruce talking to him about this? Why didn’t Sam come over and talk about it? At least he was used to it from Sam. But not from Bruce. When Steve glanced over at Sam, he found out why Sam wasn’t talking to him about it. Sam seemed to be deep in conversation with Natasha and Clint.

“So. Sam said you should go talk him up.” Steve rolled his eyes. Of course. Steve looked over at Sam again and Sam just gave him a wink.

“No.”

“Why not?” Bruce asked. “He seems nice enough. And it won’t hurt to talk to him.”

“It’s not that.” Steve said, glancing around to make sure Bucky wasn’t anywhere around them. “I’m still not ready.” Bruce looked up at him and Steve could tell he wasn’t buying it, but it was Bruce, so he wouldn’t call Steve out on his shit.

“Alright.” Bruce replied as he took a sip of his beer and quickly changed the topic.

* * *

The night ended up getting a lot better. Clint got completely trashed and was actually quite hilarious to watch.

Clint told the best stories, especially when he was drunk. Even Natasha had some good stories to tell. Even though she was stone cold sober.

It was actually a lot more fun than Steve had thought. He had thought the night had taken a turn for the worse but it had steadily improved, something that Steve was quite thankful for. Steve was laughing more than he had in a long time.

Bucky even came back around. And he seemed to be in a much better mood. He was laughing and telling funny stories as well.

All in all, it was pretty fun.

Steve was happy that he had gone out with everyone. It made him think that he could do this. He could be friends with Bucky. He could put his feelings aside. He could do this.

“Hey man.” Bucky said as he wrapped an arm around his shoulders, pulling him in close.

“Hey Buck.” Bucky just laughed as his he leaned down to rest his head on Steve’s shoulder. Steve tried hard to react, and well, it was really hard.

“Man, do you know how happy I am that I met you, I mean, you are amazing Steve.” Steve laughed, falling forward a bit. He wasn’t drunk. He usually never let himself get completely drunk anymore. But he was buzzed.

“You’re pretty amazing too Buck.”

“Aw, see, you call me Buck. I love it when you call me Buck.” Steve’s face fell a little bit at how Bucky was looking up at him. It almost looked like Bucky…

“Hey fellas. What are you doing?” Natasha squeezed in between them.

“Hey Nat.” Bucky said with a lopsided grin. “I was just telling Stevie here how amazing he is.” Steve let out a small laugh as Bucky looked up at him again.

“Well, I’ll just leave you two alone then.” Natasha started to back away but Steve pulled her back in.

“Nonsense.” Steve responded, pulling Natasha back in. “You are welcome to hang out with me and my friend Buck.” Steve let out a small snort as Bucky full on laughed.

“No thanks. I already have to deal with Clint’s drunk ass. I don’t want to listen to you two being giddy little idiots.” Steve let out another snort as Natasha pulled herself away from them. “But we’ll chat soon Steve.” She replied with a wink as she walked away. Steve straightened up at that. Bucky was still laughing and it was probably the alcohol talking but he really wanted to kiss him right now.

It would have been the perfect chance.

If they had been together. But they’re not.

“So, where’s Connie at tonight?” Steve asked. Bucky stopped laughing and Steve instantly saw that his good mood had vanished. Well, so much for that. Give it to Steve to fuck things up in two quick seconds.

“She had other plans.” Bucky pulled himself away from Steve and went to order another drink. “Besides, she and Natasha hate each other.”

“What? Why?”

“Beats me. Women.” Bucky said with a sigh. Steve needed to change the subject and fast.

“I’ll try and stop by the clinic this week.” Bucky instantly perked up at that. Good. Crisis avoided.

“Great. I know you are supposed to be working on the mural and all of that, but I would appreciate it if you helped out with some of the grunt work. I mean, if you don’t mind. I can always get someone else to and everything…”

“Don’t worry about it. Just, let me know how I can help.” Bucky smiled up at him and Steve smiled back. God, he loved Bucky’s smile. Bucky reached up and gripped Steve’s shoulder again.

“Thanks Steve. You’re the best.”

“Steve!” Steve jumped as Sam wrapped an arm around his neck and pulled him in close and away from Bucky.

“Heya Sam.”

“We’re gonna have to get going. I have work in the morning.”

“Alright.” Steve replied with a smile before saying his goodbyes to everyone. Although, he felt like Bruce and Natasha were the only ones that heard him. Clint was completely out of his mind and Bucky, well, Bucky had gone off somewhere again.

But Steve just shrugged it off. He didn’t need to think about it all right now. In his state of mind he would come to all the wrong conclusions and yeah, he so did not need that. He and Sam walked outside and Steve didn’t realize how warm it had been in there until the cool air hit his face.

“That was fun.” Steve said as he smiled over at Sam. “I’m really glad that I came out tonight.”

“Well I’m glad you had fun. How was it? With Bucky?”

“It was fine.” Steve said as they got into the car. “There were a few moments where it was a bit difficult but I think it went fine. I mean, was I fine?”

“Like you said, there were moments. But everyone else seems clueless. Except Nat. She might know something, but then again, she always knows something. Hey, why didn’t you chat up that guy? He seemed pretty nice.”

“Because. I didn’t go out to hook up with someone. I was there to hang out with my friends. It would seem rude.” Sam just raised an eyebrow. “I know what you’re thinking and it had absolutely nothing to do with Bucky.”

“Sure.” Sam replied with his cheeky grin and Steve just shoved his shoulder as they headed home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, I was feeling real iffy about this chapter, so hopefully it came out alright. Next chapter will be Steve and Natasha's lunch date haha.


	7. (26.)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you all enjoy the chapter!
> 
> Once again thanks to everyone who has read,commented,subscribed or left kudos on the story! It means so much to me and I am glad that you all are enjoying the story! :)

Steve walked into Marty’s Thursday afternoon feeling like he was about to be sick. He wasn’t ready for this. He didn’t know what he was going to do. Natasha was probably going to call him out in a public place and well, he just didn’t see a good outcome to all of this. And there was no way he could have prepared himself for this.

He took a deep breath and looked around the restaurant. Natasha wasn’t here yet. Which, he figured she wouldn’t be, he was about 15 minutes early. He didn’t want to be, but all he was doing at home was just pacing around the apartment that he just had to leave. He thought the walk here would waste time, but it didn’t. Of course it didn’t. Steve must have been power-walking or something because he got here a lot faster than normal.

“Hello Steve.” Steve looked up and saw Darcy smiling as she made her way over to him. Of course Darcy would be here too. This day just keeps getting better and better. “Is it just you today or are you expecting the doctor?” Steve looked up and saw that she was smirking at him.

“Not funny Darcy. I’m actually having lunch with Natasha today.”

“Oh. Even better.” She replied with a small laugh. “Follow me.” She grabbed some menus and made her way over to where Steve usually sat. “Let me know if you need anything.” And with that she was off, leaving Steve to panic alone again.

He probably should have just canceled or something. Say something came up. That he was too busy or something. Then again, Steve was a horrible liar so that wouldn’t really go over so well. Natasha would have called him out on his lie within seconds.

“Steve.” Steve jumped up at the sound and Natasha’s voice and nearly knocked over his chair in the process. Natasha just smiled as she leaned up and kissed him on the cheek. “I expected to find you long gone.”

“Um, wha-why would you say that?” Steve stuttered out as he sat down again, almost missing his chair. God, Steve really needed to get a grip of himself. This was getting to be almost embarrassing. Natasha just laughed as she took the seat across from him.

“Oh, don’t play dumb with me Steve.” Steve didn’t say anything as Darcy came over and took their orders. Natasha and Darcy started a small conversation, which Steve was thankful for because it gave him to chance to get a hold of himself. He could do this. He could. Natasha may be intimidating but he was strong too. He could handle having lunch with her.

When Darcy left after taking their orders, Steve let out a small cough and straightened himself up. He could do this. Just act natural.

“So, how is Clint?”

“Clint is just fine. But I didn’t ask you out to lunch to talk about Clint.”

“Well, what did you want to talk about then?”

“Dumb doesn’t really suit you Rogers.” Steve just nodded and didn’t say anything for a while. He just looked across at Natasha, who looked so normal and beautiful and Steve was sure he looked like a wreck.

Steve couldn’t even tell you what he was wearing. He had been such a mess that morning that he grabbed the first things he saw and slipped them on quickly. He wasn’t even sure if his hair was combed or anything.

And Natasha just looked perfect. She could probably just sense the unease about him. He should probably stop trying to lie and just get everything out in the open.

“You want to talk about Bucky.” Natasha smirked at him then.

“Bingo.” Steve let out another sigh as he ran a hand over his face. He didn’t want to talk about Bucky. Bucky was the last thing he wanted to talk about, especially with Natasha.

“I don’t want to talk about Bucky.”

“Really?” She replied as she leaned back in her chair. “That’s surprising.”

“Natasha…”

“Look, let’s not beat around the bush here, alright. I know that you are head over heels in love with Bucky.” Steve’s eyes about bolted right out his head.

“What!” Steve shouted. Natasha just smiled as Steve looked around, whispering sorry to all the people who were now glaring at him. “What the fuck Natasha?” Steve whispered, leaning forward.

“Just stating the obvious.”

“You are not stating the obvious because it isn’t true.” Natasha just laughed. Steve tried to glare at her, but she wasn’t having any of it. Give it to Steve to be the least intimidating person in the diner.

“Are you trying to tell me you don’t like Bucky?”

“Of course I like him. As a friend. I want Bucky to be my friend.”

“Mmhhhhmm. You also want to fuck his brains out.”

“Natasha.” Steve groaned as he banged his head against the table. Natasha just laughed. “The sooner you admit it to yourself, the better off you will be.”

“Fine, alright. Yes I like Bucky. And yes a part of me may want to fuck him. But I’m not going to do anything about it.”

“Why not?”

“Why not? Jesus, Natasha. First off, Bucky is straight.” Natasha just raised an eyebrow at him. “Second, god, he is with Connie. He loves Connie.”

“Says who?”

“Says, um I don’t know, everyone. All you have to do is look at them and you can see that they are in love.”

“Bucky isn’t in love with Connie.” Natasha stated, like it was the most obvious thing in the world.

“What do you mean? Have you seen those two together?”

“Of course I have. But I know Bucky better than anyone. He thinks he is in love with Connie, but he’s not.”

“I think you’re wrong.” Steve responded as he took a sip of his water. “I think you just hate Connie so you don’t want Bucky to be happy with her.”

“Do you like Connie?” Natasha said, leaning forward in her seat. She looked dead serious and Steve was a little scared of her now. This was what she looked like right before she struck. She had him tangled up in her web, right where she wanted him, and Steve had no way out.

“I-I don’t know her.” Steve blurted out. “But she hasn’t given me any reason to dislike her.” That wasn’t exactly a lie. She may have given Steve a reason to not be overly fond of her, but Steve would never say he hated her.

“Do you know why I don’t like her?” Steve was about to respond when Darcy came up with their food.

“Are you talking about Connie?” She said as she set their plates down. How did she know they were talking about Connie? Seriously. Was she just eavesdropping on their conversation or what?

“Yes. As a matter of fact we are.” Natasha replied with a smile.

“Real bitch, that girl. Something must have crawled up her ass and died or something.” Darcy was muttering something else, but since she was walking away, Steve didn’t quite catch it. He looked over and saw that Natasha was just staring at him. She was almost smirking, like she had just proven her point to Steve.

“Darcy not liking her doesn’t prove anything.”

“But you never answered my question. Do you know why I don’t like her?”

“No. Bucky didn’t say.” Natasha just nodded as she took a bite of her burger.

“And there is reason for that. James doesn’t listen to me when I tell him. He thinks he just isn’t good enough for something better. He thinks Connie is all he is gonna get.”

“What do you mean?”

“Okay, look. I’m going to tell you this because I think you deserve to know. But don’t bring it up with him. He will talk about it when he wants to. Agreed?” Steve nodded. “Well, you know how Bucky had his accident, right?”

“Yeah. He told me about that. He said it was a bad time for him.”

“Damn straight it was. You see, he and Connie had been dating before it happened. They were happy, and yeah, I liked her then. She was nice and likable. So much better than some of the other people he had dated. She was someone I could see Bucky marrying, y’know?” Steve nodded. “But then he got into the accident. And Connie felt like she couldn’t handle it. That it was becoming too much for her. Once they said they had to amputate his arm, she left.”

“What!” Steve leaned forward and he could not believe that. She didn’t. How could she do that to him? Natasha nodded in agreement and Steve realized that he said that last part out loud. “Why?”

“I don’t remember what bullshit story she came up with. But it was ridiculous. She said she couldn’t handle all the stress and yeah, like, I get that. But Bucky needed her and she fled. So he was really upset. Depressed even. He felt horrible about losing his arm and to add on to that, the person he was in love with couldn’t stand to even look at him. It wasn’t a good time for him.”

“So, what happened?”

“He got his ass into gear. He went back to school. I introduced him to Stark and he got his new arm. Then he finished getting his doctorate and got a job working at the hospital.”

“But how did Connie come back into all of this?”

“I don’t remember how they met up again. I guess Bucky called her, wanting to see how she was doing and tell her that he was doing alright. And then for some stupid reason, he forgave her.”

“He must have had some reason to…”

“Well, if he did, it wasn’t a good one. She didn’t want him when he only had one arm. Now that he has a nice new metal one and a doctorate, she comes running back to him. So yeah, I’m not particularly fond of her. I think she is fake as shit and is only using Bucky for his new income.”

“Well, I can understand why you would feel like that, but I don’t see what all of this has to do with me. If Bucky thinks he loves her, then he must know what he feels. He doesn’t look at me like he looks at her. He doesn’t want me like that.”

“Are you so sure about that, Rogers?” Steve straightened up a bit.

“Natasha….”

“Why don’t you give it a shot? The worst that could happen is that he would say no, right?”

“I don’t want that. I want to be his friend, Natasha. That is what I want. I am not falling for a straight guy only to get my heart broken in the end. It’s not going to happen. I deserve better than that.”

“I see.” Natasha was silent after that, finishing up her meal. Steve had so many thoughts running through his head that he barely touched his food. He found that he wasn’t really that hungry anymore.

What Natasha had told him about Bucky was stuck in his mind now. Did Bucky really think that he wasn’t that great? That no one would ever love him?

He never acted like he would feel that way. Bucky had always seemed so confident, at least he usually was when Steve was around him.

“Steve?”

“What?” He looked up and saw that Natasha actually looked a bit confused.

“Are you alright? You have just been staring at your food for the past ten minutes.”

“I’m sorry. Just thinking. Look, Natasha…” She set her fork down and put all her attention on him. “I’m just a bit confused here. You are friends with Peggy.”

“That I am.”

“But, Peggy has been telling me non-stop since I met Bucky that it is bad. Not to get too involved with him and that it will only end badly. You must have known how Peggy thought about all of this. She must have told you or something. Yet you were so eager to introduce us. And you want me to make a move on him. Like, I don’t even know what to think. What are you getting out of all of this?”

“Steve. Bucky has been my friend for a long time. I know him, probably better than he knows himself. I took a rather large leap of faith with introducing you two. He needed someone to do the mural and I happened to know an artist.” Steve let out a small sigh. He was tired of all this. Everyone was telling him something different and all he wanted was to just have Bucky in his life. He didn’t really care how. As a friend or whatever, he just wanted to be able to see Bucky every so often.

“Natasha I…” Natasha quickly held up a hand, making him stop short.

“I saw what Bucky was like, before he met you. He was miserable. He may not have mentioned it, but he was. He never smiled. He never went out. He never did anything. Not even with Connie.”

“What are you saying?”

“All I’m saying is that after he met you, that night in the club, he has been smiling all the time. God, the other day we were talking and he talked about some of the art he had seen from you, your sketches. He couldn’t stop smiling. I don’t think I have ever seen him that happy before.”

“I don’t think that means anything. He could just be happier now. Something else could have happened. His clinic is getting closer to be done and just, y’know, it has nothing to do with me.”

“Why must you always be so down on yourself?”

“I’m not, I’m telling you the most logical thing I know. Bucky being happy doesn’t correlate to me.”

“Alright, but you should have seen how upset he was when he realized that you left the club early that night…”

“Natasha!” Steve said, slamming his hand on the table. He felt some people stare but he didn’t care. Natasha just looked at him. She didn’t look frightened or anything. She looked more shocked than anything. “I want to be friends with Bucky. That’s what I want, alright. Don’t get mad at me if I don’t want to take a leap of faith and take a chance with Bucky. After what Brock did to me, I don’t want that again.” Natasha was silent for a bit. Steve looked down at his lap, trying to get himself together. He jumped when he felt something on his hand. He looked up and saw that Natasha had placed her hand on his and was giving him a small, reassuring smile.

“I’m really sorry Steve. You do what you want to do. I just want to see my friend happy. But I don’t want to make you feel uncomfortable. That is the last thing that I want.” Steve reached up and put his free hand on top of hers and smiled.

“Thanks Nat.”

“Why don’t you go and take a walk, I will pay for lunch.”

“Natasha, no.”

“Hey.” Natasha said as she stood up. “Walk it off. I will talk to you later.” Steve just nodded and stood up.

“Alright. Bye Natasha.” She just smiled over at him before heading over to where Darcy was sitting at the counter. Steve grabbed his jacket and made his way outside. The cool air hitting his skin felt wonderful. He didn’t know where he was going, but it just felt nice to be out of there. 

* * *

Steve didn’t know how long he was out walking. He didn’t even know where he was going. He just let his feet take him to where he needed to go.

He wasn’t even really thinking of anything. He just walked.

But apparently his feet knew where he wanted to go because somehow, he found his way in front of Bucky’s clinic. Steve looked up at it and he couldn’t help but smile. He could see that there was a light on inside.

He stepped up to the window and looked inside. The lobby was dark, but he could see a light coming from the back room. He could imagine Bucky sitting back there, working on something, or maybe trying to put something together without the instructions or something. It made him smile even wider.

That had been a very good day. It may not have ended the way Steve would have wanted, but it was definitely one his favorite days with Bucky.

Steve was so lost in his thoughts, that he didn’t even see Bucky come out of the back room. He probably looked like a total creeper just standing in front of the window, looking inside. He was snapped out of his thoughts when he heard his name.

“What?” He turned around and saw Bucky standing there, giving him a weird look.

“Steve? What are you doing here?”

“Oh, um, well. I needed a walk and well, my feet took me here.” Bucky stared at him for a few moments before smiling.

“You’re such a dork. Come in, unless, you have somewhere else you need to be.” Steve smiled.

“No. I just got done having lunch with Natasha.” Bucky nodded and walked inside. Steve followed behind him, taking a deep breath. He didn’t want to think about that conversation again, but he knew Bucky was probably going to bring it up.

“How was it?”

“It was well, y’know, lunch.” Bucky laughed at that.

“Super secret I see.” Bucky walked towards the back and Steve was tempted to follow but he probably shouldn’t be around Bucky right now. After what Natasha had said earlier, Steve should probably be alone, to think about a few things. And Bucky didn’t seem like his usual self at the moment.

He seemed really guarded and somehow, Steve felt like it had to do with his lunch with Natasha.

“Are you coming back?” Steve looked up and saw Bucky looking up at him. He instantly noticed the look of concern come across Bucky’s features. “Steve, are you alright? Do you want me to call Sam to come pick you up or something?”

“I’m fine. Really. Is there something you want me to help you with?” Steve asked, taking a step forward.

“Steve.” Bucky said, taking another step forward. His guarded look completely gone now. “Look, when I said that you could help with some grunt work, that doesn’t me that’s why I always want you here. You are my friend, Steve. I want you here because I like being with you. Okay?” Steve smiled. And somehow, that was exactly what he needed to hear.

“I like being with you too.” Bucky just beamed at him as he walked over, wrapping an arm (his good arm, Steve noticed) around Steve’s shoulder and pulled him against him.

“Alright then. Come on back then. I have the computer set up and Clint just sent me some of the most ridiculous cat videos.” Steve let out a small laugh as Bucky pulled him back into his office.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh man, so I was so excited to write this chapter and now I don't know how I feel about it, so let me know what you guys think!
> 
> The next chapter will be Steve finally working on the mural!


	8. (33.)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Once again, thanks to everyone that has read this story, commented, left kudos or subscribed. It means so muh to me and I am glad that you all are enjoying the story. 
> 
> Second, I saw Age of Ultron! Whohoo! And to complete lack of Bucky mentions just makes me want to write more of this story than ever, so yay! (On a side note, I did enjoy to movie, kudos to you if you can find the ultron reference in here ;) )

“So you got everything then? I don’t need to resend anything. I can always send them all again. It will only take a minute.” Steve replied as he cradled his phone with his shoulder as he quickly started putting together a bag of art supplies.

“Steve. Relax man. I got the email last night and I’ve saved all the pictures at least five times in five different places. I think I’m good. And I’m heading off to go see the publisher right now. Just relax. Everything is going to be fine.” Peter replied calmly. Steve was always like this after completing his final illustration.

If something were to go wrong, it would be around this time. Steve couldn’t help but worry about it. It had happened before. The first collaboration he did with Peter, Steve had accidentally erased some of his work and well, he had to do it all over again.

It had been a complete nightmare.

“Sorry. Alright, well, let me know how it goes.”

“I always do.” And Peter hung up on him, just like he always did. Steve dropped his phone on his desk and quickly looked around his studio to make sure he wasn’t forgetting anything.

He usually always forgot something on his first day. It was beginning to turn into a tradition. And since he was running late, he was positive that he was going to forget something.

Steve had accidentally slept in that morning and now he was rushing to get everything he needed together. He had told Bucky last night that he would be at the clinic at 10, and it was almost 9:45 now. There was no way he would get there on time.

“Doing alright in there?” Steve turned around and found Sam standing in the doorway. Sam had a smile on his face and Steve knew that he found all of this amusing. He would, the traitor.

“Yeah, just running a bit late.” Sam let out a small laugh and Steve couldn’t help but glare.

“He’s not going to be mad y’know?” Steve grabbed his bag and walked passed Sam to make his way into the kitchen. He had to pack something to eat because he knew he was going to be starving once he got there. Steve had been in such a hurry this morning that he didn’t have time to eat breakfast.

“I know, but still, I like to be on time for my first day of a new job.” Sam looked like he was about to say something else but Steve interrupted him. “Regardless of who the client is.”

“Well, isn’t he conducting interviews or something today? He isn’t gonna to care if you are a few minutes late. He probably won’t even notice.” Sam had a point, but it was the gesture of being there on time that mattered.

“Well, I care.” Steve grabbed a bag of chips and threw them in the bag along with a few bottles of water. He would probably have to get something else for lunch but the chips would hold him off for a little bit at least.

Bucky would be busy doing interviews for nurses for most of the afternoon, so Steve doubted if he would even see Bucky. And Bucky wouldn’t be mad if he was late, but Steve still wanted to be there on time.

“Want me to give you a ride there?” Steve turned around and practically beamed at Sam.

“Would you? That would be fantastic.” Steve hadn’t even thought of that possibility.

“Yeah, yeah, sure thing buddy. Just let me get my keys.” Sam walked passed him and made his way to his room. Steve took a deep breath and looked down at his bag. He was sure he had everything. He had his sketches, his supplies, reference photos, food, water, yep, he had everything he really needed. For today, that is.

And if he was forgetting something, then he would just have to do without for today.

Sam walked out of his room dangling the keys, smiling at Steve and Steve grabbed his jacket. Sam bumped into Steve on the way out.

“Let’s go see your boyfriend.” Steve shoved Sam back, sending him crashing into the opposite wall as Steve locked up the apartment.

“Asshole.” Sam just let out a loud laugh that Steve was positive echoed throughout the whole building. The ride to the clinic was relatively silent, until Sam decided to bring up something that Steve had wanted to forget about.

“So, Natasha called me the other day.” Steve let out a small groan as his head hit the window.

“Sam, don’t even start.”

“I’m not saying anything. You know, I wasn’t really aware of how much she hated Connie. They have always acted civil to each other whenever I saw them.”

“She just wants me to hate Connie too so that I would be more willing to break them up. It’s completely absurd.” Steve made sure that he kept his eyes away from Sam because he did not want to know how Sam was looking at him.

“Well, do you hate Connie?”

“No.” Steve said with a sigh. “And even if I did, I respect Bucky enough to accept who he has chosen to be with. He must like her, right? Otherwise they wouldn’t be together.” Sam was silent for a little while, it was like he was thinking of something to say, to make Steve feel better.

But Steve didn’t need comfort.

“How are things with Bucky? Are they awkward or what?”

“I don’t know. Some times are better. He will text me and be his usual amazing self with all his interesting stories and all that. And then some days he just seems to be very standoffish and not in a good mood. I don’t know what to make of it.”

“Well, I guess just give him time. I’m sure it’s nothing. Maybe it has just been an off week or something.”

“I hope so. I just can’t help but feel like I have done something wrong.”

“Don’t stress over it. I’m sure it’s not something you did.” Steve just nodded. Steve couldn’t help but feel a small connection to Bucky’s behavior and his lunch with Natasha.

When Sam pulled up to the clinic, Steve quickly undid his seatbelt and started to get out of the car. He just wanted to get in there and get started. It was already 10:10 and he didn’t want to be any later.

“Steve, wait.” Steve turned and looked over at Sam. “Look, Peggy and I have been talking, about what you told us about you and Natasha’s talk.”

“Yeah? So?”

“And well, we both think it’s good that you are just trying to be his friend. You are a good person Steve. Taking things slow like this, it’s good, for you and for him.” Steve let out a small smile.

“Thanks Sam. Although I don’t appreciate you guys talking about me behind my back, and telling me about it afterwards. Doesn’t seem like the best strategy.” Sam just laughed.

“Sure thing small fry. Text me if you want a ride back.” Steve just nodded and gave him a small wave before walking up to the clinic. Steve could see that all the lights were on, but he didn’t really see Bucky.

When he walked in, he could hear Bucky’s voice in the distance, along with an unfamiliar one and Steve knew that Bucky must be in the middle of an interview. Steve shrugged off his jacket and made his way into the room where he was going to spending a lot of time in.

The walls had just been painted a fresh white and Bucky had put a small pile of old bed sheets in the corner for him to set down when he actually started painting. There were also some other miscellaneous paint supplies lying about that Steve would be needing.

It made Steve smile. At least Bucky was thinking about him.

He set his bag down and stretched a bit before kneeling on the ground and opening up his bag. He had a lot of work to do today.

* * *

Steve was off in his own little world.

He was sitting down by the wall, his picture references scattered all around him, his sketch of the portion of the wall he was working on at the moment right in front of him, and he had his music blasting around him.

He, of course, made sure that he closed the door before blasting his music. He didn’t want to interrupt Bucky’s interviews.

At the moment, Judy Garland was singing her heart out about the man that got away. Steve couldn’t help but just stop and close his eyes and listen to her sing. There was just something about her voice that always got to him. Always made him cry. She just sang with so much emotion, it was so easy to just lose yourself in her voice and the music.

_The night is bitter,_   
_The stars have lost their glitter;_   
_The winds grow colder_   
_And suddenly you're older - And all because of the man that got away._

Steve whispered along with the words. He was positive that he had listened to this song and countless other Judy Garland songs after Brock left. It was one of his go to things. Especially when dealing with a break-up.

Wizard of Oz was his all-time favorite movie and any time he felt down or even if he was just bored, he would put that movie in and instantly, he had more motivation than before. And he was always put into a better mood.

Steve couldn’t even tell you how many sketches and doodles he had that were Wizard of Oz based. He was positive that he had binders full of them. In college he had even done a project on a re-illustration of the Wizard of Oz.

_The man that won you_   
_Has gone off and undone you._   
_That great beginning_   
_Has seen the final inning._   
_Don't know what happened. It's all a crazy game!_

Steve wasn’t even aware that he had been singing out loud until he heard someone clear their throat behind him. He jumped and quickly turned around, switching off his music quickly.

Bucky was leaning against the door frame with a big smile on his face.

“Judy Garland huh?” Steve felt his face grow hot.

“Well, what can I say? I have a soft spot for dear old Judy.” Steve looked up at Bucky and smiled. Bucky smiled back, letting out a little laugh.

“You sure are full of surprises Steve. Interesting song choice, though. Can’t say I was expecting to hear that when I walked in here.”

“Very powerful though. Her voice is something else.” Bucky nodded. “Have you see A Star is Born?”

“Can’t say I have.” Bucky took a few steps forward.

“I would totally recommend it, but it is a long ass movie and is quite sad, like full on depressing. So, if you watch it, be prepared to cry and feel miserable afterwards.” Bucky nodded and Steve saw that his joking self was now gone. Better stop rambling and actually make conversation. “How did your interview go?”

“It went well. She will probably get the job. Look, Steve.” Bucky ran his hand through his hair and Steve suddenly felt very nervous. He knew that something bad was going to happen, he could just feel it.

“Buck?”

“I know that it is none of my business, but I know Natasha very well by now, I mean, I did date her at one point, so I know that she likes to meddle in things, especially in my life and well…” Steve was a little lost because Natasha and Bucky used to date? How did he not know that?

“You and Natasha dated?” Steve blurted out and jesus, Steve was so pathetic. Why did he just say that? Bucky stopped talking and just looked confused.

“Yeah, not really that big of a deal, Steve. It was like you and Peggy.” Steve was even more shocked by that. Not many people knew that he and Peggy used to date. Natasha must have told him that. But then again, Steve wasn’t even sure if Natasha knew about it.

“How did you know about me and Peggy?”

“Does it matter? Look, Steve.” Bucky took another step forward. “The point is, I know Natasha, and I know she likes to meddle in people’s lives, especially mine. I just need to know if she said anything to you, about me, at your lunch date thing.” Bucky released a deep breath. Steve looked up and saw that Bucky looked really nervous.

Had Bucky been thinking about this since Thursday? If so, then that would explain the weird moods Bucky would get into. He couldn’t imagine what Bucky thought they had talked about. But Steve was so not ready for this conversation. He didn’t even know it was coming, so he couldn’t have been prepared for it.

“I don’t…”

“You don’t have to give me specifics or anything. But like, Natasha isn’t mentioning it at all and well, that just spells out bad for me and I just…” Bucky was pacing now. Steve quickly stood up.

“Buck, I don’t, I don’t know what you think she told me, but it wasn’t anything bad, obviously. I’m still here, right?”

“But you were really shaken after lunch with her. I saw you Steve, okay. She must have said something. I just, I told her something very private and just…”

Oh. Steve got it now. He thought Natasha revealed something to him and god, no wonder Bucky has been acting strange lately. Steve took a deep breath.

“Look, Buck… She just, like…” Steve took another deep breath. God, he felt like he was betraying everyone right now. “She just really doesn’t like Connie, that’s all we really talked about, I swear.” Bucky laughed at that, and it wasn’t a happy laugh either, it was very mocking and well, Steve was now prepared for the worst reaction.

“Of course she did. She just…” Bucky gripped his hair and let out a small groan. “She just can’t let it go.”

“Bucky, she is just worried about you…”

“Well my feelings for Connie are no concern of hers. My feelings are my own.”

“I know. I told her that you love Connie. You know your feelings better than she does.” Bucky looked up at him and Steve saw sadness in his eyes. He wasn’t expecting that.

But now Steve was wondering what big secret he must have told Natasha to have him acting like this. Or why he would think Natasha would tell Steve in the first place.

“Nat is just worried about you, Buck. That’s all. But you are absolutely right. She has no business interfering with your relationship with Connie. It’s nobody’s business but yours.”

“Is that all you talked about? Or did she try and meddle into your love life too?” Steve just let out a little snort. Oh, if only Bucky knew. “Did she?”

“She wants me to take a so called, leap of faith, with someone.”

“Why won’t you?”

“Too many reasons.” Steve replied with a little laugh. “And besides, not ready yet.”

“Natasha mentioned a bad break-up.” Steve just nodded. “Well, you know, if you ever just want to go out, Connie has a lot of friends, we could do a double date or something. It could be fun.” Steve looked over at Bucky and saw that Bucky was smiling at him again.

“I don’t think so.”

“What? You don’t trust my match-making skills.” Bucky mocked offense and Steve just laughed.

“No, it’s not that. It’s just, well, I’m not ready for a relationship yet.” Bucky nodded and smiled up at him.

“I understand. But, when you are ready, just let me know. I happen to be amazing when it comes to match-making. I’ll have you know a friend of mine married the girl I set him up with. And they are still together, five years later.”

“Oh, well maybe you should start a match-making site or something. Your logo could have those hideous chairs on it.” Steve said with a wink as Bucky just laughed before he shoved Steve back by his shoulder.

“You little punk.” Steve just laughed. “If I put those chairs on it, no one will find their soulmate, let alone getting laid.” Steve just smiled as Bucky walked passed him, making his way over to where Steve had been working. “So, how are you doing in here? Or were you too distracted by Judy Garland to get any shit done?”

“You should probably learn to watch your language, y’know. Working with kids and all that.” Bucky looked back at him and raised an eyebrow.

“Really Steve? You are lecturing me about language here?” Steve just shrugged.

“What can I say?”

“You curse as bad as a fuckin’ sailor alright?”

“Well, I don’t work with children.” Bucky just gave him a look before casually flipping him off before turning back to where Steve had been working.

“So, you get anything done?”

“I got some done. You know I am a professional here.”

“Mmhmm. Sure Steve.” Bucky said as he knelt down to look at what Steve had done. Steve was silent for a bit as Bucky took in what he had done. Steve hadn’t accomplished as much as he had wanted to, but he had the park done and outlined a bit of the bridge.

“What do you think? Is it alright? I can always paint over it and start over if you don’t like it…” Steve was rambling again.

“Steve, Stevie, calm down.” Bucky said, standing up and stepping towards him, putting both hands on his shoulders. “It’s perfect. I think it looks amazing and I can’t wait to see more.” Steve smiled at him and he felt his face grow hot.

Oh god, Steve was probably blushing.

“I’m glad you like it, I mean, I would hate to make you something you hated.” Bucky just laughed as he wrapped an arm around Steve’s shoulders, pulling him in close.

“You keep selling yourself short, you little punk. I asked you to do this because I believed in you and your work. You are going to do amazing and I am going to love whatever you create.”

“Thanks Buck.”

“Now, I don’t know about you, but I am starving. Shall we go get something to eat? We can always go to Marty’s.” Steve smiled and nodded, not really trusting his voice at the moment. Bucky just smiled and pulled him along.

Steve could begin to get used to this.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, let me know what you guys think! :) Next chapter will have Steve meeting Becca... and what a lovely encounter that is. ;)
> 
> Also, if you have never heard The Man that Got Away from Judy Garland, you need to listen to it right now! It gives me chills and always makes me cry. Same with A Star is Born, probably THE saddest movie I have ever seen.
> 
> So, yeah, thanks again for reading lovelies! :)


	9. (35.)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, this chapter has given me some troubles, but I'm posting it, even though I am not 100% okay with it. But well, it is what it is.
> 
> Anyways, thanks to everyone who has read this story, left comments, kudos or subscribed to the story. You are all wonderful and it makes me very happy to know that you are all enjoying the story! :)

“You’ve got to be shittin’ me.” Bucky was sitting across from Steve, just staring at him like he was the craziest person in the world. Steve was just sitting there, laughing his head off. “Steve, come on, that is a joke right?”

“Nope.”

“Why would you do that? You could have died or something? I’ve seen what you looked like then and well, someone that big could have like, broken you in half or something.” Steve was finally able to stop laughing. He took a deep breath and just shrugged.

“It was worth it, I guess. It always was.” Steve had just finished telling Bucky about one of his many attempts at being the hero back in his high school days.

Steve, of course, still thought that all his beatings, all the pain and suffering he had endured back then, it had all been worth it. He never made any friends that way, but he was still sticking up for what he believed in. And that was enough for him.

Besides, that kid had really needed his help and Steve would not let bullies get away with what they were doing. Bucky had just thought he was stupid and should have gotten someone else to help. To be honest, Steve had never really considered getting someone else. He lived in the moment and went with what his gut told him to do. And his gut usually told him to open his mouth and fight back.

“I just can’t believe you would do that.”

“I still do that, actually.”

“What!” Steve let out another laugh because god, Bucky’s reaction was perfect. Bucky looked genuinely concerned for Steve’s well-being. It was really adorable. “Steve.”

“I don’t like bullies Bucky. It’s that simple.”

“So, this kind of stuff still happens? Like, recently? Do you go out looking for fights or something?”

“No. I don’t purposely go out looking for fights, but if I hear something, I’m not just gonna sit back and watch it happen.” Bucky looked over at him and Steve couldn’t read his face. But it seemed like Bucky was trying to take all of this in. “It has been a while though. I don’t really go out that often. But now I can really hold my own. I’m not that 95 pound kid anymore.” Bucky just rolled his eyes.

“You sure are something else Stevie.” Steve just smiled as he turned back to look at his work in progress.

Steve had arrived at the clinic early that morning (and on time, he might add) and went straight to work. He was almost halfway done with outlining. Bucky was still giving interviews for nurses when he arrived so Steve had time to actually accomplish something.

After Bucky’s last interview had left, he had come over to chat with Steve. And when Bucky came over to chat, that usually meant that Steve was done for the day. Not that Steve really minded. The park would just have to wait to be drawn tomorrow.

Bucky seemed to be back to his old self again. At least, Steve thought he was. The lunch was never brought up between them again and everything seemed just like it had before it happened. Bucky had plopped down on the floor next to him and started talking away. It was like nothing had even happened.

And if that was how Bucky was going to act, well, Steve wasn’t going to question it.

Bucky told Steve about this one guy who interviewed for the job who was just completely clueless as to what he was even interviewing for. Bucky had said it was so awkward that he almost just got up and left. That it was completely embarrassing and just awful.

And the guy came in wearing sweatpants and a Star Trek shirt. Not professional at all.

Which brought Steve to telling the story (Steve didn’t really know how he came to the story, it might have been the Star Trek reference and the kid he had saved was into Star Trek or something, whatever, it didn’t matter).

Bucky had seemed to enjoy Steve’s fighting stories, well, sometimes. Bucky wanted to know a lot about what Steve was like before. Like, that was all Bucky seemed to ask about. Steve didn’t really know why. No one seemed to care back then. But Bucky did.

“I wish I would have known you back then.” Bucky whispered. He had said it so quietly that Steve almost didn’t hear it. Steve looked over at him and Bucky wasn’t even looking at him. He was looking at the wall.

“Would you have been my friend?” Steve said. A small smile came to Bucky’s face and it was one of the most beautiful things Steve had ever seen. Bucky glanced down at his phone and Steve wanted to know what he was looking at. Bucky seemed to do that a lot recently.

“You’re damn right I would’ve. I would have been backing you up when you went out to kick someone’s ass.” Steve let out a small laugh as he tried to imagine it. He could imagine Bucky telling him how stupid he was for getting into a fight. But he knew that Bucky would have been right behind him though. He could feel it.

Steve almost wished that he would have known Bucky then.

“That would have been nice. I could have used a partner in crime.” Bucky just smiled, finally looking over at Steve.

“Partner in crime huh? I think I would have been keeping your sorry ass out of trouble.” Steve let out another laugh and was about to say something when he was interrupted.

“Bucky!” Steve jumped at the new voice and Bucky looked around, trying to find where the voice was.

“Who is that? Are you expecting someone?” Steve asked. Bucky looked a bit confused and almost seemed conflicted.

“I am, but not until later…” Before Bucky could finish his answer, the door to the room burst open. Bucky was up in seconds, running to the door quickly. Steve watched as Bucky pulled whoever it was in a big bear hug.

Steve was still somewhat confused as to what had just happened, but stood up so he could greet the person, whoever they were. Steve really hoped it wasn’t Connie. He didn’t think he was ready to see her yet, after everything. But the voice didn’t sound like hers or Natasha’s.

So who could it be?

Steve could hear Bucky and the woman talking as he moved a bit closer. Bucky finally turned around to reveal who the woman was.

She was, well, she was the spitting image of Bucky, except a tad bit shorter and a woman. She had a big grin on her face (the same grin Bucky had) as she looked over at Steve.

“Steve, this is Becca, my sister.” Steve had no idea Bucky had a sister.

“It’s nice to meet you.” Steve said, extending his hand towards her. Becca just smiled as she reached out and shook his hand. She had quite the grip on her.

“Oh, it’s such a pleasure to meet you, Steve. I have heard so much about you.” Steve let out a small laugh as he pulled his hand away. That was strange because he hadn’t ever heard Bucky talk about her. Then again, they never really talked about Bucky’s personal life. It was always about Steve.

“Have you? Hopefully all good things?” Steve asked, taking a step back. He looked over at Bucky and saw that he was looking down at his sister.

“Oh yes.” Becca replied with a smile. “Bucky has told me quite a bit about you. It has almost become sort of annoying. I mean, every time he texts me or calls me, it usually starts out with Steve this, Steve that…” She was interrupted by Bucky casually shoving her.

“Enough about that.” Bucky said as he cleared his throat. Steve just laughed as Becca glared at her brother before stepping closer to Steve, casually ignoring Bucky.

“So, Steve, you single?”

“Becca!” Bucky hissed, or well, it was more of a groan. Probably a mixture of both, which Steve didn’t really know how that was possible, but apparently Bucky knew how to do it. Steve just laughed again.

“I am.”

“Mmhhmmm.” Becca took another step forward and latched herself onto Steve. “Bucky never mentioned how handsome you were, I mean, he had mentioned something about you being this skinny little thing. And the picture he showed me…”

“Becca.” That was a groan. Steve had the biggest smile on his face as he looked over at Bucky. Bucky looked like he wanted the room to swallow him whole.

Steve just found the whole thing hilarious. He had always wanted a sibling, and he figured that if he did have one, this is what it would be like. He couldn’t be sure if he would have been the one who did the tormenting or if he would have been tormented by the sibling. Steve had a feeling that he would be the one causing all the trouble, knowing his history.

“Anyways, Steve.” Becca said with a smile as she looked up at him. “Bucky promised to take me out to lunch, would you like to join us?”

“I would love to, but I feel like I might be imposing. You should probably go without me. I have to finish up here anyways.” Becca gave him a little pout before looking right over to Bucky, giving him her best pout as well.

“You wouldn’t mind if Steve came, would you Bucky? He wouldn’t be imposing?” Steve looked up at Bucky and saw that Bucky just looked frustrated. It almost made Steve want to laugh. Except for the fact that Bucky could really not want Steve to come and it was getting to the point of being awkward.

“I really shouldn’t. I still have a lot to do today with the mural and…” Steve continued.

“Nonsense.” Bucky said finally. “I am the one that hired you, you deserve a break. You can come to lunch with Becca and I. We are going to Marty’s. I know how much you love that damn place.” Becca let out a small shout of her approval for the decision. She kept her firm grip on Steve’s arm as well.

“Are you sure? I just feel like I am barging in on some family time…” Becca just laughed as she started pulling Steve out of the room.

“It’s fine. We Barnes’ would love the company.” Becca replied as they made their way outside.

* * *

Marty’s ended up being a bit more crowded than they were expecting. So, now they were sitting on the benches outside waiting for a table to open up. Darcy had promised that it would only be a few minutes.

Well, it had been ten.

And Steve felt like an awkward third wheel. He felt every single one of those awkward third wheel minutes.

Bucky and Becca were talking and catching up and Steve had nothing to contribute. He wanted to give them time to catch up but that left him off in his own world, which was rather boring at the moment. And he didn’t want to completely eavesdrop of their conversation. It would be rude.

But he did catch a few pieces here and there. They were each talking about what was new with them while Steve just sat there. He didn’t know what to do and he honestly wanted to back out of this whole lunch thing. He could be back at the clinic working on the mural.

He could still back out. He was sure Bucky or Becca wouldn’t mind. Well, Becca might be a bit upset, but Bucky wouldn’t care. He didn’t have to go back to the clinic. He could just go back to the apartment and work on something else. He didn’t know what, but he would find something.

He was about to say something when a woman walked out.

“Table for Barnes.”

“That’s us.” Becca replied cheerfully as she stood up, following the waitress back inside. Bucky glanced over at Steve, giving him a small smile as he followed after Becca. Steve took a deep breath and followed after him.

If he could handle lunch with Natasha, he could handle lunch with Bucky and Becca. Although, he wasn’t sure his heart could handle it.

Some of the things that Becca had said had sent Steve’s mind into overdrive and that was something he really didn’t need. He hadn’t really thought too much about it right when Becca had said it. But now, the short drive over here and those ten agonizing minutes waiting had really gotten Steve thinking about all that Becca had said.

But he didn’t need to think about those things right now. Later. He would deal with these thoughts later.

Steve found Becca and Bucky sitting at a table near the back of the restaurant and Darcy was, of course standing by them, getting their drink order. Steve walked over, giving Darcy a small smile as he sat down.

“Why Steve Rogers, what a pleasant surprise to see you here.” Steve looked up at her and found that she was just smirking at him. Great. He was going to have to stop coming here when Darcy was working.

“Always a pleasure to see you too, Darcy.”

“Mhhmmm, sure Steve. What can I get you honey?”

“Just water, please.”

“Great. I will get you your drinks and be back for your order.” Steve just nodded and pushed the menu away. He wasn’t really all that hungry anymore. He would probably just order some cheese fries or something.

“So, Steve, what are you looking for in a partner?” Becca said and Steve almost choked on his own spit. Wasn’t this conversation over already?

“Becca!” Bucky hissed. Steve took a deep breath and looked up at her and saw that she had the most conniving smile on her face. she almost put Natasha to shame. Almost.

God, he really needed to stop coming to this restaurant with people. It always seemed to end up in disaster for him.

“Um, partner?”

“Lover? Significant other? I was just trying to make it generic, y’know?”

“Um, well, I wasn’t really aware that I was looking for a partner right now, bad break-up and all that.”

“Oh really?” Becca said, and Steve knew that she wanted him to elaborate, but that was the last thing he wanted to do. Especially here.

“Becca, please, shut up.” Bucky groaned. Darcy came back just in time and set their drinks down. Becca was polite enough to not talk anymore as they gave Darcy their order. But once Darcy was gone, Becca was right back on Steve with the interrogation.

“Bucky had mentioned that you dated Peggy Carter…”

“Becca, oh my god.” Bucky lightly slapped Becca in the back of the head. “If you don’t shut up right now I swear to god…” Becca just glared at him and Steve was very thankful for Bucky's interruption. Bucky turned his full attention to Steve. “I am so sorry, she is just, I honestly don’t even know.”

“It’s alright. Becca, I am single and I plan to keep it that way, for a bit.”

“Alright. Just trying to see if I had a chance.” She said with a small groan. Steve just smiled as Bucky leaned back. Bucky didn’t look like he was buying but, it was enough for Steve.

“Sure, that’s exactly where you were getting at?” Bucky replied quietly and Becca just smiled. Steve looked between them and wondered if there was something he wasn’t seeing. If he was missing something?

“So,” Steve said, changing the subject. “How is Connie?” Bucky straightened back up and looked back at Steve.

“She’s just fine. We are all going to go out tonight, so her and Becca and catch up.” Steve smiled. At least there was someone who liked Connie who was close to Bucky. But when Steve looked over at Becca, he saw that she looked less than thrilled by that idea.

Things would be so much easier for Steve if someone liked Connie.

“That’s good to hear.” He said. Becca just rolled her eyes before taking a small sip of her soda. A change of subject was in order. “So, Becca, what do you do?”

“Becca here is a teacher.” Bucky replied.

“I can answer on my own, you dork.” Steve smiled as Bucky rolled his eyes. “But yes, I am a teacher. I work at this small little school in city and it is amazing. I love it so much. The kids are all amazing and just, I love it.” Steve smiled.

“What do you teach?”

“Music. I know, it’s weird, but I love it.”

“That sounds amazing and not weird at all. I had wanted to be a teacher when I was younger, but I didn’t have the patience for it.”

“Well, I’m glad that you did pursue that because then we wouldn’t have met.” Becca replied with a smile. “So, how did you and Bucky meet then? Did he just find you off craigslist or something?” Steve let out another laugh as he leaned back in his chair.

“Natasha introduced us. Then he called me asking if I would work for him. Pretty simple actually.”

“I see.” Becca looked over at Bucky with a small grin. Bucky just rolled his eyes. Steve could see that Becca was about to start questioning him again so Steve decided to take control of the situation.

“So, what’s the age difference between you guys? You seem really close.”

“Five years.” Bucky responded quickly. “Although we were really close growing up, despite the small age difference. We had our own adventures and everything. Although she did live up to the expectation of being an annoying little sister.”

“How?” Steve asked, getting more and more curious. He wanted to know more about Bucky. And it seems, this was the only way he would get some information out of him.

“Becca always knew the best ways to cock-block me though, growing up, the little shit.” Bucky replied with a small grin, looking over at Becca.

“That’s because you had such horrible tastes in woman. Still do, actually.” Steve choked on his water at the look Bucky gave Becca.

“Becca.” Steve had never heard Bucky use that tone of voice ever. It sounded downright deadly.

“What? You know it’s true.” Steve looked over and saw that Bucky looked like he was about to explode. Steve was about to ask him if he was alright when Bucky just got up and left the restaurant.

Becca and Steve just watched him leave.

“Shit.” Becca said, falling back into her chair. Steve didn’t say anything. He didn’t know what to say. But he had never seen Bucky look like that. Even when he confronted Steve about the lunch with Natasha.

He almost looked defeated. And Steve never wanted to see him look like that again.

“I’m sorry if it looks like I’m acting like a total bitch, but just…” She let out a frustrated groan. “Do you know Connie?”

“A little.”

“Well, she is ruining his life. I swear, any time he calls me, he is complaining about her or something. I just wish he would actually open his eyes see it.”

“I understand that you are just looking out for him. But I don’t think this was the most appropriate time to bring it up.”

“I know.” Becca said through a groan. “I’m going to go talk with him.”

“Um, why don’t you let me?” Steve said, standing up. “He and I actually just talked about this not too long ago. I think he feels a bit embarrassed.” Becca just nodded and let him go.

Steve really probably should have let Becca go and talk with him, but somehow Steve felt that Becca wasn’t who he wanted to see.

Then again, he probably didn’t want to see Steve either.

Steve walked out of the restaurant and looked around for Bucky. He knew Bucky hadn’t left because his car was still in the lot. But he didn’t quite see him. Steve made his way around the restaurant. There was an alley off to the side and he figured he might be there. That was the only close place he could imagine Bucky running off to.

And well, he was right. Bucky was in the alley. He was leaning against the wall of the restaurant, cigarette in hand (Steve didn’t know that Bucky even smoked) as he looked down at his phone. Again, Steve really wanted to know what Bucky was looking at all the time.

“Didn’t know you smoked.” Steve said calmly. Bucky didn’t even jump. It was almost like he had been expecting Steve to come out here. Steve took one step forward and Bucky quickly put away his phone, taking another drag from his cigarette.

“I don’t.” Steve raised an eyebrow at that. Bucky let out a small laugh as he took another drag. “It’s a stress reliever. I don’t do it all the time.” Steve nodded and was silent for a bit. Giving Bucky some time.

“You alright?” Bucky didn’t even hesitate to answer.

“I will be.”

“You sure?” Bucky let out a small laugh.

“Jesus Christ Steve. I’m an adult here, okay. When I say I am fine, I mean it.”

“Buck…”

“No. Look, I know Becca, alright. Known her my whole damn life. I knew she would pull this kind of shit, I just didn’t think she would do it with company around. So it’s my fault, alright? I asked for it.”

Steve didn’t say anything as Bucky finished up his cigarette. He couldn’t quite read how Bucky was feeling anymore. Bucky didn’t say anything. He didn’t even look at Steve. He just stared at wall, lost in his own mind.

Steve felt like he was intruding.

“Well, I will let you have some time to yourself.” Steve said, taking a step back and heading back towards the restaurant.

He should leave. He didn’t feel quite as wanted anymore and well, Bucky and Becca obviously needed to talk. And Steve would just be getting in the way of that.

Bucky probably hadn’t really wanted him to come anyways. He was just being polite.

Steve walked back into the restaurant and saw that their food had just arrived.

“How is he?” Becca asked as Steve walked back over.

“He’s brooding. But he should be back in soon.” Steve grabbed his plate and cup and walked over to the register, leaving behind a confused Becca. “Hey Darcy!” He shouted. Darcy walked over to him with a smile.

“What’s up? Meeting with the fam not go over so well?” Steve just gave her a look.

“Can I get these to-go please?”

“Sure thing sweet cheeks.” She grabbed the plate and cup and walked away. Steve made his way back to the table, grabbing his coat and slipping it back on.

“Steve? What are you doing? Where are you going?” Becca asked. “Did I do something wrong? I am so sorry. I didn’t mean it. Sometimes I get really carried away, you see I had this plan and well, now it failed but still, I am so sorry.”

“Becca, relax. It was such a pleasure to meet you. You didn’t mess anything up, I swear. Maybe we can do this again some other time? I just can see that you and your brother really need to talk some things out and just, I don’t need to be here for that. I have some work I really need to do anyways. I would just be in the way here.”

“Here you go Steve.” Steve looked over as Darcy held up a to-go box and cup.

“Thanks Darcy. Here.” Steve reached into his wallet and pulled out a couple twenties. “Lunch is on me.” Steve responded as he handed Darcy the cash. “Keep the change.” Darcy just gave him a big smile before walking away.

“Steve…” Becca started before Bucky interrupted. Steve hadn't even heard him come back in.

“Steve, where are you going?” Steve turned around and found Bucky standing right behind him. Bucky seemed to be out of his little funk and actually looked a bit concerned as to why Steve was leaving.

“I have to go. I remembered that I had something I need to do.” Steve could see that Bucky wasn’t buying any of it. He reached down and grabbed Steve by the wrist and pulled him off to the side.

“Steve, I’m sorry. This really didn’t go how I wanted it to. I feel like I was an overdramatic ass and I probably ruined this and…”

“Bucky, look. You and Becca obviously have some things to talk out. I don’t want to interrupt. I paid for lunch, so I’m…”

“What? Steve. God dammit, we invited you out. You didn’t have to pay…”

“I wanted to. And look, this whole thing with Connie.” Bucky tensed up before looking up at him. “I can see how much you love her, just by looking at you guys. Don’t worry about what everyone else wants. Just do what you want, alright?” Bucky didn’t really say anything as Steve turned back to Becca. “It was so nice to meet you. Hopefully we will see each other again.”

“Bye Steve!” Becca called out through a mouthful of food. Steve smiled before looking back at Bucky.

“I’ll talk to you later?” Steve didn’t mean to make it a question, but that’s how it came out. Bucky just nodded and went to sit down. And Steve couldn’t help but feel like Bucky had just dismissed him.

Steve just let out a deep breath and went on his way. He probably just messed things up big time. But right now all he cared about was just getting away from here.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! Let me know what you guys think. This chapter gave me some trouble so I want to know what you guys think? Was Becca too much or was it okay? 
> 
> Thanks again for reading guys! Next chapter will have Steve coming down with something. ;)


	10. (40.)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! Sorry for the wait. I had wanted to get this chapter posted last week before I went away for the weekend, but it didn't happen. And then when I came back, my work hours changed and I just haven't had time. But I finally got it done! I still feel iffy about this chapter, but I'm posting it because if I look at it any longer I will just delete the whole thing!
> 
> Anyways, thanks again to everyone who has read, commented, left kudos or subscribed to this story. You all are amazing and I love you all!

Steve felt like shit. Absolute shit.

He had woken up with a horrible headache, his nose was clogged up, his eyes hurt, his ears hurt, and his throat hurt from most likely sleeping with his mouth open all night.

Overall, he was a complete mess. And he felt like shit. Has he mentioned that yet?

He didn’t even want to leave his bed. But he had things he needed to take care of.

Since he was sick, he wouldn’t be able to work today.

He reached over and grabbed his phone. He needed to call Bucky. He had arranged to come over to the clinic today (after avoiding it for the past few days) and now he would have to cancel. Go figure right?

Steve should have known he would get sick before seeing Bucky again. He probably had it coming.

After the disaster lunch with Becca and Bucky, Steve had gone home and replayed every single thing Becca had said. He had lain in bed for the rest of the day and just went through everything over and over again.

Steve wouldn’t let himself get hopeful. He couldn’t let himself do that. He had been doing well so far. He had gone a month of not getting his hopes up. Sure he noticed some things about Bucky friends normally didn’t notice.

But as long as he wasn’t trying to get with Bucky then he was okay.

But after the way Becca talked, Steve couldn’t help but take notice of some of the things she said. And how she said them. Steve couldn’t get too hopeful, but maybe.

Just maybe, this one time he could think of the possibilities. Of what could be. Him and Bucky.

And well, his mind hadn’t disappointed him. Not in the least.

Steve had the most interesting, but wonderful, dream about Bucky.

But waking up from said dream with a raging hard on was not exactly the end result Steve was looking for. He hadn’t meant to work himself up that much. He tried to will it away, but it was no use.

What harm could happen from jerking off to images of your best friend?

He knew it was probably rude to jerk off to thoughts of Bucky, but it was only one time? And there is no harm when they don’t know about it. Right?

After tonight it would never happen again.

It had been really fucking satisfying though. Like, probably one of the best orgasms Steve has had in a while. It was like all the sexual frustration Steve had built up this past month just came out.

So it only goes to show that Steve would wake up feeling like shit. Must be his punishment for jerking off to images of his friend. It had to be. Steve never really got to enjoy something for too long.

Steve quickly shook those thoughts from his mind as he clicked on Bucky’s name and fell back onto the bed. He didn’t need to be thinking of those things while on the phone with said man. He listened to the phone ring a few times before Bucky finally answered.

“Barnes.”

“Hey Bucky.” Steve let out a small cough as his throat got suddenly very dry. Jesus, just hearing his voice was enough to make Steve hot. After imagining that voice saying…wait. Steve, cut it out. “It’s Steve.”

“Steve? Is that you? Man you sound like shit.”Steve sure felt like shit. He probably looked like shit too. Not that Steve new for a fact, but he guessed he did. “Are you alright?”

“’m Fine. Just sick.” God Steve sounded awful even to his own ears. He probably sounded like the dead to Bucky. He was beginning to think that he probably should have texted Bucky instead of calling him.

“You’re sick? What do you have?” Right. Bucky was a doctor. Steve had almost forgotten about that.

“Oh, um, well, just the normal everything hurts sickness. Give me a few days. I’ll be fine.”

“You sure? Is Sam gonna be there with you? Or Peggy?”

“Bucky, I’m almost 30. I think I can handle myself.” Bucky let out a small laugh that made Steve smile like the idiot he is.

“Alright. Well, I will call later to check up on you. Make sure you are still alive and all that.”

“Bye Buck.” Steve replied with a small smile as he hung up. He set the phone on his dresser and let out a small groan.

Today was not going to be a fun day.

But he needed to at least get out of bed. He always felt a little better if he was away from his bed. He wrapped his blanket around himself before slowly getting up from the bed and waddling over to the couch. He was a little bit dizzy and was very thankful that his room was closest to the living room. He could hear Sam rummaging around in his room. The man made so much noise in the morning, it was absolutely unbelievable.

Maybe if Steve was lucky Sam wouldn’t even notice that Steve was sick.

He was already gonna have Bucky fussing over him today (not that he really minded) but he didn’t need Sam fussing over him either. Because then that led to Peggy fussing over him and well, that was three people too many.

Steve flipped on the TV and smiled to himself when he found that Looney Tunes was on. Fuck yeah. It’s always a good day when there are good cartoons on TV. And nothing beat Looney Tunes.

Steve was so engrossed in Bugs Bunny outsmarting Elmer Fudd for the hundredth time that he didn’t even hear Sam come out of his room.

“Wow, you look like shit.” Steve looked over and nodded, not really paying attention much.

“Feel like shit.” Steve replied. Sam let out a small laugh when Steve’s voice cracked before making his way to the kitchen.

“I hate seeing you sick, but I love hearing your sick voice. Probably the most hilarious thing I have ever heard.” Steve looked over and glared, flipping him the bird.

“Fuck you man.” Steve said through a cough as he bundled himself in more blankets. “I’ll remember that the next time you are sick and you sound like Betty Boop.” Sam just laughed as he poured himself a glass of orange juice.

“Nice cocoon.” Sam said as he walked across the room. Steve looked up when Sam made his way back towards him. Sam was holding something and it took Steve a minute to see what it was. Sam had his phone. Steve must have forgotten it in his room. “Call Peggy. She is off today. She can pick you up some medicine or something.”

“I don’t need it.” Sam just gave him a look before setting Steve’s phone on the table. Sam then proceeded to call Peggy on his own phone. The traitor. Steve just let out a small grumble as he sunk deeper into the couch.

“Peggy will be here within the hour with medicine.” Steve just glared at him. “Later.” And with that Sam was out the door, leaving Steve alone.

Good. He could enjoy his Looney Tunes in peace.

Steve hated when people coddled him when he was sick. It only brought up memories of his mom and he didn’t need to add all that in to being sick. Besides, he could take care of himself. The sickness usually passed over within a few days. He would be fine. He would spend the whole day watching stupid cartoons and sleeping.

What could possible go wrong?

* * *

Steve must have passed out or something because the next thing he knew, he was being shaken awake by Peggy.

“Finally.” He opened his eyes and found her sitting on the coffee table next to him. She looked as beautiful as ever. And with the light shining in behind her she looked like an absolute angel. Steve couldn’t help the dopey smile that appeared on his face. “You were out cold. I would have thought you were dead if not for your loud snoring.”

“Sorry.” He replied with a small yawn.

“I could hear you outside the door.” Peggy replied as she stood up. “I didn’t know what your symptoms were so I went to every single pharmacy in town to get you everything.” Steve’s eyes widened as he pulled himself up. He looked over to the counter and saw a shit ton of medicine sitting there.

“Peggy! Jesus!”

“Sam wasn’t specific on what you had.” Peggy made her way back to the counter, opening the back and pulling out medicine after medicine. “So, tell me your symptoms so I can narrow this down.” Steve let out a small sigh.

“Fine.” He let out a small cough. “There’s that.”

“Alright, what else?”

“Headache, earache, my nose is clogged up. My throat hurts. Everything.” Steve could hear Peggy going through all the medicine. It wasn’t much longer before she was back in front of him holding out two pills and a glass of water.

“Take it.” Steve let out a small sigh as he grabbed the glass and the pills. He knocked back the pills easily and set the glass back on the table.

“Why are you off work?” Peggy just gave him a small smile as she sat down next to him. Steve promptly set his feet up on her lap as he lounged back on the couch, making himself more comfortable.

“I just had a random vacation day. Lucky you.” Steve just laughed.

“Yeah. Lucky me.” Steve looked back at the TV, realizing that it was still on. Looney Tunes wasn’t on anymore. Instead it was some stupid show that he didn’t care about. Steve reached for the remote and just turned the TV off. There was nothing good on in the morning anyways.

“Is something bothering you?”

“No.”

“Steve.” He looked over at her and saw that she seemed to actually look concerned. Not that it was very surprising. She knew Steve better than anyone. “Does this have to do with a certain pediatrician?” Steve didn’t answer as he just buried himself deeper into the couch. He wasn’t ready for this conversation again. “Steve.”

“Maybe.” He mumbled out. He didn’t want to talk about this. He figured since he was sick that Peggy would take pity on him. Again, Steve wasn’t that lucky.

“What happened?” Well, Steve wasn’t expecting that. He was full on expecting Peggy to go into lecture mode. Steve let out a small sigh.

“I swear everyone is trying to get us together except you and Sam.” Peggy straightened up.

“What do you mean?”

“Well, first Natasha and now Becca. It’s too much!”

“Ah. So you’ve met Becca.”

“Peggy.” Steve said, sitting up. “I am trying so hard to not do this, but then Becca was saying things, like how much Bucky talked about me and just, it all seemed weird. I’m trying not to read too much into it but it’s hard.”

“What exactly did Becca say?” Steve leaned back and closed his eyes. He couldn’t remember now. But that could be because his head felt like a fuckin’ freight train ran into it. Why did he have to have this conversation when he was sick? If he would have known Peggy would react like this he would have talked with her after it all happened.

“I can’t remember right now. But just, Bucky was getting all pissed with her and then, of course, of fuckin’ course Becca has to hate Connie too.”

“Steve.”

“Like, can’t someone else like her? It would make things so much easier. But all I keep hearing is how everyone hates her and how she isn’t good for Bucky and just. It’s very frustrating.” Peggy was silent for a bit. It made Steve feel a little uneasy. Steve knew he was getting into his full on whining mode but he couldn’t help it. He figured he had somewhat of a right to whine at this.

“What does it matter if other people don’t like Connie?”

“What?”

“Who cares what other people think of her?”

“Yeah, but, like. Bucky loves her. Can you imagine how he feels being told by everyone that they hate her?”

“Again, where do you come into all of this? That seems like something Bucky has to figure out. Not you.” Steve crossed his arms. “I think you want someone to like Connie so you can feel that she deserves Bucky, so that you will think that you don’t.”

“That’s not…” Peggy just raised an eyebrow. “It’s not true.” Well not exactly. Steve did feel like he didn’t deserve Bucky. But he wanted to make sure Bucky was happy with who he was with.

“Then why does it matter?”

“Because I want Bucky to be happy.” Peggy didn’t say anything for a while and Steve was afraid that he had exposed too much to her. Wanting your friend to be happy wasn’t a sin.

“I think Bucky is old enough to make decisions on his own life.”

“That’s what I said!” Steve shouted. “But like, when everyone keeps throwing it in my face I just…” Steve took a deep breath, looking down at the floor. “You didn’t see his face Peggy. You didn’t see how hurt he was.”

“Look, I don’t know any one of us that actually likes Connie. Bucky knows it and he still is dating her. So, you are right, he must like her, or love her, or whatever. But it isn’t any of our business. You need to let Bucky deal with it.”

“But everyone is using it to try and hook us up and I just. I can’t get my hopes up, Peggy. I just can’t.” Peggy reached forward and cupped his face in her hands.

“Steve Rogers. You really are something else.” Steve smiled as he reached up and grabbed her hands. “What else is bothering you?”

“I, well, it’s just something else that happened. I’ve been trying not to think about it, but with the whole Becca thing, it just keeps coming back to me.”

“Does it involve Bucky?” Steve was silent for a bit. He didn’t want to talk about this. He didn’t even like thinking about it too much.

“Yeah.” Steve responded. Peggy just looked at him, waiting for him to respond. “After my lunch with Natasha, Bucky started acting weird. And then, he finally confronted me about it and well,” Steve stopped short. He wasn’t sure if he should tell Peggy about this.

This all dealt with the whole hope aspect.

Possibly.

He was still in control here. He had told himself he wouldn’t fall into this trap and he wasn’t going to.

“What?”

Steve was about to respond when he was interrupted by a strong knock on the door. Steve looked over and well, he wasn’t expecting anyone else. He looked back at Peggy who just rolled her eyes and kicked Steve’s feet off her lap before going to get the door.

Steve looked over when Peggy opened the door and really wished he hadn’t because it was Bucky.

Of course it was Bucky.

Steve wasn’t ready to see him yet. He was sure he had a few days to get his shit together before facing him. He was nowhere near ready for it now.

“Bucky?” Steve asked, covering himself up more with his blanket. He was only in his boxers here. He may be a lot bigger now but he still felt a bit vulnerable when he was sick….and halfway naked. “What’re you doing here?” Steve let out a small cough as Bucky and Peggy walked into the living room.

“I came by to check up on you. Make sure you were still alive.” Bucky gave him a small smile and Steve immediately smiled back. He had missed that smile. “I also made you some soup.”

“Really? You didn’t have to.” Bucky just shrugged and Steve really hoped that he wasn’t blushing but, really. Bucky made him soup.

“I wanted to.” Bucky then turned and made his way into the kitchen. Steve looked over at Peggy and saw that she was just looking at him with a sad smile on her face. Great. He hated that look. Nothing good ever came from it. She walked over to him and bent down, lightly kissing him on the forehead.

“Be careful Steve.” She whispered. What the hell did that mean? “I have to go.” She stood up and made her way to the door before Steve could even respond. “I will drop by a bit later.”

“Peggy…” Steve started but she put a hand up to stop him.

“I am positive that you will be much safer with a real doctor here.” She gave Bucky a small wave before leaving the apartment. Steve looked at the door before looking back at Bucky.

He didn’t want to be alone with Bucky. Not when he was sick and vulnerable and not completely in control.

“Did I do something?” Bucky asked, walking back in with a small bowl for Steve.

“No. She’s just like that.” Bucky looked like he didn’t fully believe Steve, but he didn’t say anything more. Bucky walked over and handed Steve the bowl before sitting down next to him on the couch.

“So. Are you feeling alright?” Steve just looked down at the soup. It smelt amazing and he was positive he didn’t deserve Bucky being nice to him like this.

“Yeah. Peggy got me all the medicine I could ever need for the next five years. So I’m good.”

“I saw that.” Bucky replied with a smile. “So, you sure you are alright? I don’t need to take you to the emergency room or anything? You don’t have a fever or anything?”

“I’m fine Buck.” Steve replied with a little laugh. Normally Steve would be annoyed, but he found that he couldn’t quite be annoyed when it was Bucky asking. Bucky just nodded and leaned back as Steve took a bite out of his soup. He let out a small groan as taste set in. It was probably one of the best things he had ever tasted. “Oh man, this is heavenly.” Bucky let out a small laugh.

“Glad you approve. Old Barnes recipe, that is.”

“Really?”

“Yup.” Steve looked over at Bucky who was just grinning at him.

“You’re lying.”

“Am not!” Bucky bumped into his shoulder, almost causing Steve to drop his soup again.

“Hey! Watch it!”

“Sorry.” Bucky said through his laughter.

“Sure you are. But seriously, you did make this?”

“I did. It may not be some old Barnes recipe, but I made it. Something I worked on over the years.” Steve looked over at Bucky again and really took him in. He was dressed up like he usually was when he was at the clinic. Nice pair of dress pants and a button up shirt. His hair was pulled back. And he looked so relaxed. Something Steve was really beginning to notice.

Bucky was always relaxed when he was around Steve. It was a very comforting realization.

Steve then realized that Bucky was still doing interviews for the clinic. He was supposed to be giving an interview today. Bucky had mentioned that today was going to be the last day for interviews.

“Bucky. Didn’t you have an interview today?”

“I rescheduled it.”

“What! Bucky. Come on that’s….”

“It’s alright.” Bucky looked over at him and smiled and Steve suddenly got overwhelmed with guilt. Steve being sick wasn’t enough to have Bucky rescheduling important interviews. He also felt a tiny hint of guilt of all the completely inappropriate thoughts he had had about Bucky.

Which were things he didn’t need to rethink about since the man was sitting right next to him. Steve felt like he was going to be sick. He set the bowl down on the table in front of him and leaned back in the couch. He took a deep breath, trying to get his mind back under control.

“Stevie? You alright?” Steve jumped when Bucky’s hand touched his forehead, but god, it felt so good. It was cool and soft and sent chills down his spine. “You’re burning up.”

“’m fine.” Steve took a deep breath and leaned into Bucky’s touch. “Your hand is doing wonders though.” He whispered. Bucky let out a short laugh, but he didn’t remove his hand right away.

“Mmhhmm. Maybe you should go back to bed.” Bucky pulled his hand away and Steve tried not to whine at the loss of contact. Maybe he really should go to sleep. Before he did anything stupid. But of course his mouth didn’t quite agree with him because he didn’t say that.

“I’ll be fine. Just put in a movie or something.” He mumbled out. “If you insist on staying and nursing me back to health.” Bucky didn’t say anything as he got up from the couch and made his way over to Steve and Sam’s movie collection.

Steve didn’t see what he put in, but he did notice how good Bucky’s ass looked in those pants.

Wait, Steve, no. Bad Steve. Don’t think about those things.

Bucky turned back around and smiled at him before sitting down again. Steve watched the screen until the title screen came up.

It was the Wizard of Oz.

Steve looked over at Bucky and practically beamed. Bucky just laughed.

“Figured you would enjoy that.” Steve just continued smiling as Bucky started the movie.

Maybe today wasn’t going to be too bad after all.

* * *

Steve wasn’t completely sure what had brought him from his sleep. In fact, he didn’t even know he had fallen asleep. The last thing he remembered was sitting on the couch with Bucky watching Dorothy and Scarecrow try to help the Tin Man get un-rusted.

And now he was laying back on the couch, but no Bucky. He peeked an eye open and saw that it wasn’t as bright outside anymore, which meant that he had been asleep for a while.

The soup bowl was gone from the table, but in its’ place was two little pills and his glass of water. He let out a small groan as he reached over and grabbed the pills. He quickly swallowed them down before chugging half of the water.

He pulled himself up and that was when he heard the voices.

“How is the clinic coming along?” That was Sam. Sam was home? Shit, how long had Steve been out?

“It’s good. Getting there. I’m doing interviews right now for nurses. I almost have all the positions filled up.” That was Bucky. So Bucky was still here?

“What else needs to be done?” And that was Peggy.

What the fuck? Was there a little conference going on in his apartment right now?

Steve glanced over and saw that they were all just standing in the kitchen. They probably didn’t even know that he was awake yet.

And he wanted to go over and talk with them but he really needed to go to the bathroom. He quickly pulled himself from the couch, letting the blanket fall off him as he made his way towards the bathroom.

“Steve?” Of course Bucky would be the first to see that he was up. “You alright?”

“Just gotta take a piss.” Steve mumbled out as he slammed the bathroom door shut. He took a deep breath. There is nothing strange with his roommate and his best friend talking with Bucky. Nothing strange at all.

Bucky must have stayed with Steve all afternoon and Sam came home and Peggy came back to check on Steve. Nothing serious. He knew that there would be a chance that those three would all be here at some point.

After taking care of his business, Steve washed his hands and took a good look at himself in the mirror. His hair was an absolute mess. His eyes were puffy and he could see his stubble starting to grow in. He even had drool on the side of his mouth.

Great.

That means he had probably snored and Bucky had most likely heard him. This day was turning more embarrassing by the second.

He quickly splashed some water on his face before making his way to the kitchen. Might as well get it over with.

He didn’t feel as bad right now. He could tell that his fever was gone. So that was a plus. But all the other symptoms were still there.

He was about halfway to the kitchen when he realized that he still hadn’t put a shirt on. He could have turned around and went back to his room, but it was too late now. He was already to his destination. Peggy just raised an eyebrow as Steve walked up to them.

“Is this some sort of press conference or somethin’?” Bucky looked over at him and smiled.

“Just filling them in on your health status.”

“I see.”

“Bucky said you slept the whole afternoon. How are you feeling?” Peggy asked, taking a step forward and putting a hand to Steve’s forehead. Steve liked it better when Bucky did it. But that could be because he didn’t have his fever anymore.

“Fine. No more fever, so that’s good. I should be feeling a bit better by tomorrow.”

“Well don’t worry about coming in tomorrow. You rest until you are back to your regular self.”

“What am I to do if I’m not working? Today was fine because I slept but tomorrow? I’m gonna be bored to tears.” Bucky just shrugged.

“I’m sure you’ll manage.” Bucky just winked at him and Steve just rolled his eyes.

“So, you guys have literally just been talking about me this whole time?”

“And the clinic.” Sam added in. “We wanted to know about how the clinic was coming along since you never talk about that.” Steve’s mouth dropped and before he could properly yell at Sam, Bucky cut in.

“Speaking of which, I have to go.” Bucky said as he grabbed his jacket and headed to the door. “I have to go pick up Connie.” Peggy and Sam both said their goodbyes as Steve walked over to the door.

“Thanks again for the soup Buck. You didn’t have to spend your whole afternoon here. You were probably bored out of your mind.”

“It was no problem Stevie. And I wasn’t bored.” Bucky replied with a smile. “I would choose sitting on the couch listening to you snore over working any day.”

“Jerk.” Steve replied with a small glare. Bucky just laughed.

“See you later Stevie!” And just like that, he was gone.

Leaving Steve alone under the watchful and possibly judgmental eyes of Sam and Peggy. He took a deep breath before turning around.

“So…get it out already.”

“What?” Sam said, feigning offense. “I don’t have anything to say.”

“I do.” Peggy walked over to him and held up her phone. Steve just gave her a look before taking the phone from her. “I came over here about an hour ago to check up on you and found this.”

Steve looked down at the phone and completely lost the ability to speak.

It was a picture of him and Bucky. Steve was passed out on the couch next to Bucky, his head on Bucky’s shoulder. And Bucky was asleep too. His head was resting down against Steve’s.

“What…”

“Bucky woke up shortly after. Laid you down on the couch.”

“But, Peggy, I was asleep. I had no control over this…”

“I’m not mad at you.” She said with a smile. Steve looked up at her. He was for sure she was going to lecture him again or something.

“So…?”

“I was just showing it to you. Thought you would enjoy it.”

“Just send him the damn picture.” Sam said as he shoved past them and plopped down on the chair.

“I don’t know.” Peggy responded as she took the phone from him and walked over to where Sam was. Steve actually scoffed. He wouldn’t admit it later, but he actually scoffed at her.

“Come on, Peggy…”

“I don’t know…” Steve reached over and tried to snap the phone back from her. But she was clever and hid the phone away from him.

“Send me the damn picture. Just let me have this one thing.” Peggy just laughed and a few minutes later Steve heard his phone go off. He quickly turned around and picked up his phone, nearly tripping over his own feet in the process.

Sam just laughed as Peggy smiled up at him. Steve quickly opened up the message and just stared at the picture.

He knew he was acting silly about all of this, but, if something were to happen, he would always have this picture. He looked up at Sam and Peggy and smiled.

“Thanks guys.” Peggy and Sam just smiled as Steve made his way back to the kitchen. He was tempted to make the picture his background but he knew if he did that, something would happen and Bucky would end up seeing and Steve did not want to deal with that situation. Besides, it would probably make him some obsessed fanboy and he was not that.

He suddenly felt eyes on him and looked up to see Sam and Peggy both looking at him.

“What?”

“You are completely smitten.” Steve’s mouth may have actually gaped open. Give it to his sickness to turn him into an actual cartoon character.

“I am not.”

“Puh-lease. You’ve been smitten with Barnes since you laid eyes on him.” Sam replied with his typical shit eating grin. Steve just flipped him off before opening the fridge, pulling out the leftover soup Bucky had left.

He was not smitten.

He wasn’t.

As his soup was heating up on the stove, he looked back down at the picture again. Oh hell, who was he kidding? He was completely smitten with Bucky Barnes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know what you guys think! I will try and get the next chapter asap! Thanks again for reading! :)
> 
> Coming up: Steve gets to encounter a drunk and upset Bucky.


	11. (43.)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! Sorry for the wait. This chapter wasn't cooperating with me and then my work changed to summer hours so I literally had no time nor motivation to work on. But I got it done! So yay!
> 
> Again, thanks to everyone who has read, commented, left kudos or subscribed to this story. It makes me happy knowing that you guys are enjoying the story and I love you all! <333

“Where is the damn thing?” Steve mumbled to himself as he made his way through his apartment as he looked around for his portfolio. He had received an email from a possible client and he needed to touch it up a bit. And he didn’t remember where he had left it. He remembered showing it to Sam last night before he left, but he couldn’t remember where he had set it down at.

Sam was currently out of town visiting family. There was some Wilson family reunion or something like that. Steve wasn’t too sure on the details. Since Steve wasn’t as sick anymore, Sam didn’t feel as guilty for leaving him behind for a few days.

Steve still had a little bit of a cough, but besides that, he was all better. He had even planned on going back to the clinic tomorrow. Steve has been going insane being stuck in the apartment these past few days. Sam basically had him on house arrest until he was 100% better. It was ridiculous and Steve couldn’t wait until tomorrow.

But he hadn’t really spoken to Bucky since he left his apartment a few days ago. And if Steve was being honest, that was driving him a bit crazy too. But he wouldn’t admit that to anyone else.

Steve normally wouldn’t have cared. He had gone days without talking to Bucky before. Except now it seemed really out of character for Bucky to just ignore him after being all concerned about him before. Bucky had made Steve soup! That meant something, right? It didn’t make sense that Bucky didn’t at least check up on him.

But Steve wasn’t going to go all stalker on him and pester him with texts and phone calls. Bucky was probably busy. Steve wasn’t going to bother him. Besides, he would see him at the clinic tomorrow anyways.

Steve let out a little sigh of relief when he spotted his portfolio lying on the floor. What in the hell was it doing all the way over there. He reached over and picked it up before heading back to his studio.

He plopped down on his chair and skimmed through some of his recent sketches and some commissions he had done over the past few years.

After about an hour of picking some out, he switched his older stuff out and replaced it with the new. He would make the appointment with the possible new client tomorrow.

He also needed to talk with Peter too. See how he was doing.

But all of that could wait until tomorrow.

He glanced up at the clock and sighed. It was about 10pm and Steve wasn’t even tired. He was usually in bed at this time but now, now he was wide awake.

He had been thinking about sketching out some ideas for the canvas works for Bucky while watching a movie. He needed to get some more ideas down since he was going to be finishing the mural soon.

He was thinking about watching To Kill a Mockingbird. He could do for some amazing Gregory Peck. And he had seen that movie a million times so he knew he could focus on his sketching and pay attention to the movie at the same time.

With his decision made, Steve set his portfolio aside and grabbed his sketchbook and made his way to the living room. He threw his sketchbook on the couch and popped in the movie before crashing down on the couch with a loud sigh.

The movie hadn’t even been on for ten minutes when there was a loud banging on his door. Steve stopped working on his sketch (if you could really call it that. There was only one line on the paper) and looked over at his door.

He hadn’t been expecting anyone. And it was getting kind of late for people to just stop on by for a visit. He was about to just ignore it when there was another knock. He pushed everything off him and made his way to the door.

When he was almost to the kitchen, there was another knock. Followed by five more. Each one getting a bit louder and a little more insistent.

“Jesus, I’m coming.” Steve growled out as he walked over and quickly undid the locks and opened the door.

And well, you would think Steve would be used to finding Bucky Barnes on his doorstop, but nope, it was still a very new and unexpected experience.

Especially since Bucky was leaning against the door frame like it was his only support. And by the smell of him, Steve could tell that it was probably true. He reeked of alcohol and that distinct bar smell.

Bucky was drunk off his ass.

“Bucky.” Bucky looked up at him and smiled that stupid little smile that always made Steve’s knees weak.

“Stevie.” Bucky let out a small hiccup as he stumbled forward. “Good to see you man.” Steve let out a small sigh and helped him inside. Once Steve shut the door Bucky turned around and wrapped an arm around Steve’s shoulder, pulling him in close. “You’re my best buddy, you know that?”

“Please tell me you didn’t drive here?” Steve said, suddenly worried about how Bucky had gotten here. He couldn’t imagine Bucky being stupid enough to drive himself here, but he was drunk, so who knows how his mind worked when intoxicated. “Should I call Natasha?”

“No!” Bucky shouted, pulling himself away from Steve. “No. She doesn’t need to be here.” He replied with another smile, making his way over to the couch. “She would just spoil the fun.” Steve decided that he should send a text to Nat anyways. Just in case. He pulled out his phone and quickly sent off the text.

_Bucky just stumbled into my apartment. Drunk off his ass. He seems alright. Will let you know if anything is wrong._

Steve set his phone on the counter and walked over to Bucky, who was now very close to stumbling backwards on the couch.

He looked like a train wreck, really, now that Steve could really take him in. His clothes were very wrinkled, something that seemed very un-Bucky-like. And his hair was a greasy mess. And he looked like he hadn’t slept in days. He looked like he hadn’t showered in days, judging by the beginnings of the beard he had going.

What in the hell happened between the time he left Steve’s apartment a few days ago to now.

“Buck…” Bucky immediately looked over at him and just beamed. Okay, Bucky really needed to not do that.

“Yes Steve?”

“Is everything alright?” Something had to be wrong. He had never seen Bucky like this. So, in Steve’s mind, that meant that something had to be wrong. It just had to be.

“Sure. Why the hell would there be something wrong?”

“Because you look like shit. I don’t mind you crashing here, but does Connie know you are here? Should I call her or something?” Bucky’s face fell then. He looked away from Steve and suddenly, everything became much clearer.

Something had happened.

Bucky and Connie. Something happened between them and that was why he was here. Steve was almost ready to call Natasha and have her deal with him. She had more experience with this kind of situation. Steve didn’t know what to do and knowing how he was, he would just fuck things up more.

But that wouldn’t be right. Bucky could have gone to Natasha but he came here instead. Steve wasn’t just going to abandon him now. He heard his phone vibrate on the counter and made his way over to read what Natasha said.

_Just keep an eye on him. Make sure he doesn’t do anything stupid. I will check on him tomorrow. Let me know what’s up!_

Steve sent off a quick reply before making his way back to Bucky, who was now resting backwards on the couch, feet straight up on the air.

“Bucky.” He looked over at Steve and smiled again.

“Steve. I hope I’m not interrupting something.”

“Nope.” Steve replied as he sat down next to him. He leaned away so he wouldn’t get hit by Bucky’s legs when he decided to move. “Just enjoying some Gregory Peck.” Bucky looked up at the TV and smiled.

“Ah, he was the shit in this movie. Best performance in the history of…like, ever.” Steve couldn’t help but laugh.

“I completely agree.” Steve was silent for a bit as he watched Scout roll in the tire up to the Radley house. He laughed when Jem quickly ran up the stairs and touched the house. But it didn’t take Steve’s mind off of what was going on.

He needed some answers. He didn’t need the full story, but he needed something. “So, are you gonna tell me what happened?” Bucky didn’t respond at first, but he rolled over so that he was now sitting the right way up. That was something. At least he was going to take the conversation seriously.

“Connie kicked me out.” Steve tried not to react as he kept his face straight and on the TV. He had figured something bad had happened, but he wasn’t really expecting that.

“Can I ask why?” Steve asked, finally looking over at Bucky. What he saw scared him a bit.

Steve had never seen Bucky like this. He never wanted to see it, to be honest. His face was all solemn and he looked like he was nothing. Like Bucky Barnes wasn’t there, just the outside shell of him. He just stared off at the TV like all of this was nothing. And maybe Bucky didn’t want to talk about it. Maybe he just wanted to forget it happened for right now. Steve now felt like an ass for pressuring him into this. “You don’t have to tell me…”

“No.” Bucky looked over at him and Steve almost felt sick by how emotionless he sounded. Like it was nothing that his girlfriend had kicked him out. Like it happened all the time. “She threw a huge fit after I spent all day with you.” He said, and Steve could see a small hint of a smile on his face. That may not have been the expression Steve was looking for, but it was something.

“Oh.”

“Yeah, well, you see, that interview I rescheduled, it was a friend of hers. So she was pissed that I messed that up to come over here. I told her it was no big deal. Her friend was probably going to get the job anyways but she didn’t listen.”

“I’m sorry.” It was like Bucky didn’t hear him because he kept on talking as if Steve wasn’t even there.

“We’ve been fighting all yesterday. And then today, when I got back from working at the clinic. She tells me to get out. Which is fuckin’ stupid because it’s my damn apartment. But ugh, whatever.”

“Bucky…” Steve stopped when he heard what sounded like a sob coming from Bucky. Shit. Steve was prepared for crying. “Bucky…” Steve didn’t know what to do. He wasn’t very good with people crying. Steve took a deep breath and placed his hand on Bucky’s back, rubbing lightly. That was comforting, wasn’t it?

“I love her.” Bucky finally said, wiping away the stray tears from his face. “I know everyone doesn’t really like her but I do. She is amazing and funny. A good person. But after my accident, things changed. She started acting different. And we broke up. But then she came back and said she still loved me and everything and I thought it was all good. But it’s never been like it was before. She is distant and demanding at the same time. I have told her a million times that I love her, but she never says it back anymore.”

“Bucky. I…maybe you need to have this talk with her.” Again, Bucky ignored him.

“We fight all the damn time. Especially about Natasha. God, Connie can’t stand that I am friends with someone I had fucked before. It’s absolutely ridiculous.” Steve laughed. He knew that feeling all too well. Brock had hated Peggy with a passion.

“My ex was like that with Peggy too.” Bucky nodded.

“Ridiculous I tell ya!” Steve couldn’t help but smile. He could see all the tension going from Bucky’s shoulders as he vented. But Steve could see the emotion back in Bucky’s face and that was something. Anything was better than the lost look he had a few minutes ago.

But then Bucky turned sad again. Steve watched as he dug around in his jacket pocket and pulled out a small box.

Steve felt like his heart was being crushed into a million pieces because he knew what that box was. Only one thing came in little boxes like that.

Bucky popped the box open and inside was a beautiful diamond ring.

“I bought this before the accident. I had talked to Natasha and Becca about it. She was the one. They both agreed, y’know? They both fuckin’ loved her and couldn’t wait for when I decided to do it. I was gonna ask her. I had the date and the place all planned out and everything. I could have been married by now, Steve.” He said, looking over at him. Steve tried his best to control his emotions here.

Bucky being married is not something he wanted to think about. And just the small fact that Bucky still had the ring meant that he was still thinking about marrying Connie. That it was still a possibility.

“But then that stupid accident happened and everything went to hell.” Bucky took a deep breath. “I love her so much that sometimes I wonder why.”

“That doesn’t make sense Buck.”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean.” Steve said with a sigh. He hated that he was going to give this advice to Bucky. This would have been the perfect chance to just tell Bucky to fuck it and leave her. Obviously Bucky wasn’t happy, but there had to be something that everyone was missing. Something was keeping Bucky there. So Steve would be helpful and tell Bucky what he thought he needed to hear.

“The accident happened Bucky. You said it yourself, things have changed. You aren’t the same Bucky anymore and she isn’t the same Connie anymore. You both need to see that. You love her. Show her that. You need to decide if you want to fight for this relationship or not. If you don’t, then end it now. Because if all of this isn’t worth it, it will just make everything more painful in the end.” Bucky didn’t say anything for a while. And Steve let his words sink in for Bucky.

Steve was about to get up from the couch to get himself a drink of water, and maybe even get a glass for Bucky. Lord knows what kind of hangover he would have in the morning.

When he stood up to leave, something cold grabbed his arm. Steve looked down and saw that Bucky had actually grabbed him with his prosthetic. Usually Bucky tried not to touch anyone with that hand.

“Don’t go.”

“I’m just getting us some water. Is that okay?” Bucky just stared up at him for a few seconds before quickly nodding his head and letting go of Steve’s arm. Steve slowly made his way to the kitchen and took a deep breath.

Why was he the one giving Bucky dating advice? Steve had such a horrible record when it came to dating. First with Peggy (not that it was a bad relationship or anything) and then Brock. Bucky should really be talking with Natasha or someone else.

Someone who knew him better. Someone who knew Bucky and Connie’s relationship better. Steve didn’t know everything about Bucky. Hell, he knew absolutely nothing about Connie.

But Bucky chose to come to him in his time of need. Steve had to do the best with what he had. He grabbed two water bottles from the fridge and made his way back to the living room.

“Where’s Sam?” Bucky asked, leaning back into the couch. He wasn’t looking at Steve, but at the TV instead. The ring was sitting on the table in front of him. Bucky didn’t even look at him when Steve handed him the bottle. “He’s out of town visiting family for a few days.” Bucky just nodded. “Bucky…”

“Gregory Peck was something, wasn’t he?” Well, it seems like Bucky was going to change the subject.

“Yes. He was.” Bucky may be stubborn, but Steve was even more stubborn. “Why did you come here?” Finally, Bucky looked back at him. And he looked confused.

“What do you mean?”

“I mean. Why did you come to my apartment? Why didn’t you go to Natasha’s?” Bucky just smiled.

“Because I knew I could trust you with this. I always vent about Connie to Natasha or hell, even Becca. And they always tell me the same thing. Dump her ass. But they never really ask what I want. Or how I feel. They just hate Connie now and want her gone.”

“But what if I would have said that.” Lord knows Steve wanted to say that.

“You wouldn’t have. Because you’re Steve Rogers. My Steve.” Steve almost choked on his water when he heard the last part. Bucky had whispered it so he probably thought that Steve hadn’t heard it.

But he did.

But Steve wasn’t going to mention it. He was about to say something when Bucky stopped him.

“Wait.” Steve looked over and stopped dead in his tracks when Bucky’s hand shot out and gripped him by the chin.

Shitshitshitshitshitshit.

“’m ‘ucky.” He mumbled through his squished lips. But Bucky just ignored him. Turning Steve’s head from side to side as if he was trying to memorize it.

“You have stubble. A lot of stubble.” Steve almost wanted to laugh. This coming from the man who always had stubble and was in the process of getting a full grown beard at the moment.

Steve finally pulled himself free with a laugh.

“Yeah. Since I was sick my shaving was pushed aside. But if you want to talk about stubble, you should go look in the mirror Bucky boy. You almost have a full on beard going on there.” Bucky just laughed, and as if on instinct, ran his hand over it.

“Yeah. But you know, you should grow a beard. I bet it would look nice. All the girls would be lining up on your doorstep for a night out with you.” Bucky didn’t sound as drunk anymore. Then again, he stopped sounding drunk a long time ago.

“I grew a beard once. With Peggy. She hated it.”

“Why?”

“Beard burn. Not a fan apparently.” Bucky laughed. And Steve was glad to hear that it was genuine. It seemed like it had been a while since he had heard Bucky laugh like that.

“Her loss I guess.” Bucky mumbled out and Steve just smiled, looking back at the screen.

Steve remembered when he had grown his beard. Peggy had bet him that he couldn’t grow a beard. So, Steve, naturally, took the challenge. And well, he won that bet by a long shot. He had quite the beard.

And Peggy hated it. She had said that she hated it because of the beard burn, but Steve secretly suspected that it was because she lost the bet.

Steve had kept the beard for a while. He had liked it. But then Sam told him that he looked like a soccer dad or something and well, Steve wasn’t too fond of that idea then. Which of course made him shave the beard soon after.

“I want to see this beard.” Bucky said after a while, leaning in close to him. Steve felt really warm at how close Bucky was. Steve couldn’t get his brain to produce an answer so he just nodded, grabbing his phone and going through his pictures.

He finally found one of him, Peggy and Sam. Steve was in middle. He was holding Peggy close to him around her waist, while Sam was on his other side, laughing at something Steve had said. He loved this picture. In fact, he had it framed in his studio.

“Here.” Steve handed his phone over towards Bucky and Bucky quickly snatched it away, looking at it. Steve tried to watch his reaction but he didn’t really get anything. Bucky just stared at the phone for a few seconds before he responded.

“Wow.”

“What? Is that a good wow?”

“You were quite the stud. I mean, you look like the ultimate dad or something.” Steve let out a small laugh as he grabbed his phone back.

“Thanks. That’s what Sam said. I shaved it off shortly after.”

“All because of Peggy?”

“No. It was too much work for college student me.” Bucky let out a small laugh as he fell back against the couch. His head landed on Steve’s shoulder.

“I will never understand why you are still single man. You are quite the stud, I mean, look at you. You’re built like a fuckin’ god or something.”

“I never was all that great with dating.” Bucky just sighed.

“I can still get you that date.”

“When I’m ready, you will be the first to know.” Bucky didn’t say anything after that. Steve had thought that he had actually fallen asleep, but then Bucky finally said something.

“I’m tired Steve.”

“Alright, just um, let me get you some bedding…”

“Mmhmmm…” Steve looked over and saw that Bucky was almost passed out on his shoulder. Steve slowly removed himself from Bucky (He hated to do it, but there was no way in hell he was sleeping on the couch like this). He made sure Bucky was somewhat comfortable on the couch before he got up.

Bucky didn’t fight the little bit of manhandling Steve had to do to get him down. He went peacefully and Steve knew that Bucky was probably going to be asleep before he got back. So Steve went quickly to his room, grabbing an extra pillow and blanket that he kept for times like this.

When he came back into the living room, Bucky was now cuddled into a little ball on the couch. Steve couldn’t help the smile that came to his face at the sight. Bucky sure was a sight to behold when he was asleep. Or well, sleepy. Steve slowly made his way over to the couch and knelt down next to him.

“Bucky?”

“Hmmm?”

“I have a pillow and blanket for you.” Bucky didn’t respond. But he did lift his head a bit so Steve could shove the pillow under it. Give it to Bucky to pass out in two seconds. Steve stood up and threw the blanket over him before turning out the light. “Goodnight Buck.” He whispered before slowly making his way to his room

“Goodnight Stevie.” Bucky whispered back. Steve glanced back at Bucky before closing his bedroom door. He let out a small sigh as he crawled into bed.

Tomorrow wouldn’t be pleasant, but he would deal with it when it came.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks again for reading guys! Let me know what you guys think!
> 
> Next chapter will deal with the next morning, when Bucky wakes up. ; )


	12. (44.)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks again to everyone who read,commented, subscribed or left kudos on the the story. It means so much to me that you guys are enjoying it and I freakin love you all!

Steve woke up to the sound of a noise and a light buzzing. He didn’t know what it was at first. It took him a few seconds to realize that it was his phone. Hey, it was morning.

He rolled over and saw that it was only 8 in the morning. Who would be calling him this early? True Steve was a morning person, but not when he had dealt with Bucky’s drunk ass the night before.

“Ugh…” He groaned as he reached over and grabbed his phone. “’m ‘ello.” He mumbled out as he rolled back over, running a hand over his face.

“Steve.” Of course it was Natasha. Now that Steve thought about it, Natasha would be the only one to call him at this hour. “About time. Jesus, I called you three times already.”

“Sorry.” He mumbled out again as he pulled himself up. “What can I do for you?”

“I called to see how Bucky was doing. But obviously, you are still in bed so probably have no idea how he is.” Steve couldn’t help the laugh that came from that. “Sorry.” Steve finally pulled himself from bed and did a little stretch before making his to his bathroom.

“I will let you know how he is when he gets up.”

“You better.” Steve said a quick bye before he hung up the phone and set it on the table before walking over to the bathroom. That’s when he noticed that the door was closed. Weird. He was about to reach out and open it when the door opened on its own.

Steve took a quick step back as steam leaked out of the room.

And none other than Bucky stepped out of the bathroom.

The first thing Steve’s eyes noticed was that Bucky had some amazing abs. Who knew he had all that hidden underneath all those business clothes? Well, Steve sort of assumed, but seeing it in the flesh was something else. Bucky’s slacks were slung loose around his hips and god, Steve was trying hard not to stare but it was hard. Pun completely not intended.

Suddenly Steve regretted not putting on sweats before he left his room. He felt very vulnerable in just his boxers.

Bucky hadn’t really noticed. He just looked up at him and smiled, running the towel over his hair one last time.

“I hope you don’t mind me using your shower.”

“Oh. Um. No. Not at all.” Steve replied weakly. Bucky smiled again and Steve tried not to read too much into Bucky’s little glance down at him.

“Nice boxers.” Bucky replied with a wink before walking passed him. Steve didn’t even look down at what he was wearing, he just ran into the bathroom as quickly as possible.

When he woke up this morning, seeing a half naked Bucky was not what he was expecting. Nor was it something that he really needed right now.

He let out a small sigh as he ran his hands over his face. He felt like complete shit. Regardless of the fact that he had slept well, seeing Bucky brought everything from last night right back to the forefront of his mind.

Steve tried to be a good friend and to be there for Bucky. But this was almost too much. Steve could clearly see that what Bucky and Connie had was not in any way a healthy relationship. It was as plain as day. Everyone could see that.

Except Bucky.

Bucky wouldn’t listen to everyone. He had to find out for himself. But Steve knew that the only reason Bucky and Connie weren’t working out was because they were both trying to live in the past.

Bucky was trying to be with the old Connie and Connie wanted to old Bucky back. But life didn’t work that way. So Steve had been the good friend and told Bucky that he and Connie would have to reevaluate their relationship if they wanted their relationship to work.

And then there had been that damn ring.

Marriage was something that Steve didn’t really think about. There may have been one time in college that he had thought about getting married. He had seen a future with Peggy. He saw them getting married and having children and living happily ever after.

But that future drifted away.

And there was nothing wrong with that. Steve was okay with it now. But after that, he hadn’t really every thought about it again.

But to see that Bucky had thought about it before with someone like Connie, well, it hurt.

Steve wasn’t going to think about that now. He took another deep breath and splashed some cold water on his face. He needed to get a grip on things. He had been doing alright. One stupid little ring wasn’t going to mess things up. He took another deep breath and walked out of the bathroom. He looked around to see if Bucky was still there. He was pretty sure that Bucky would still be there, but hey, you never know.

He found Bucky in the kitchen making himself a cup of coffee.

“Morning.” Steve said with a smile. Bucky looked up at him and smiled back. He was still shirtless, which Steve was not minding at all. He would enjoy the view while he could.

It was weird though. If someone were to come over and see them right now, they would not present the best image. But again, Steve didn’t care. Surely Bucky knew what this all looked like and didn’t seemed bothered by it. Steve wasn’t going to bring it up. “Did you sleep well?” Steve asked, stepping in next to Bucky to pour himself a cup.

“Yeah. Woke up with the worst headache ever, but hey, I guess I deserved it.” Steve just nodded as he took a sip.

“So, you feelin’ okay then?”

“Yeah.” Bucky was silent for a bit and Steve knew what was coming. They couldn’t avoid last night forever. “Hey, I’m really sorry for intruding last night.”

“Buck, it’s alright. I would rather have you here then lying in a ditch somewhere. You know,” Steve started as a random thought struck him. “You never did tell me how you got here.” Bucky laughed at that.

“Oh, I took a cab here. I’m not a complete idiot when I’m drunk.” Steve just nodded. “Anyways, it’s a bit rude to just come over here, drunk at that, and just think that it would be alright. Assuming you didn’t have plans or anything and just…” Bucky was rambling.

“Bucky.” Steve interrupted. But before he could speak Bucky interrupted him again.

“I just wanted to say thanks Steve. You really are such a good friend.” Steve smiled and looked down at the floor. He knew he was probably blushing.

“Nah, I didn’t do anything…”

“But you did.” Bucky said with a smile, moving in closer to him. “You didn’t kick me out on my ass. And you listened to what I had to say. It was nice and a change from what I am used to.” Steve smiled back.

“Well, I am always here, if you ever need to talk.” Bucky just smiled as he gripped Steve on the shoulder and god, the touch sent a chill through him. Skin on skin contact was not what he needed. Because what Steve wanted to do more than anything was to run his hands over Bucky’s abs and up his chest and shove him into the nearest wall and kiss him senseless.

But that would be wrong and would completely fuck things up and that was the last thing that Steve wanted or needed.

“You sure are one helluva guy Stevie.” Steve couldn’t help the idiotic smile that was most likely on his face. But it was little things like this that made Steve’s day.

Bucky took a quick step back and looked around. Steve was about to ask what he was looking for when Bucky made his way to the couch. Steve saw that Bucky had folded the blanket back up and everything. When Steve looked back at Bucky, he was now wearing his shirt and was putting the ring box back in his pocket.

Right. Well, it was nice while it lasted.

“So, what are you going to do? If you don’t mind me asking.” Once the words were out, Steve wished he hadn’t said them. It felt incredible invasive and totally none of his business.

“I don’t know. I best go and talk with Connie though. Get that shit figured out.” Steve just nodded. Bucky took another step forward. “I really like Connie. I know we fight a lot. But we do have a good time together, however rare it is.”

“It is completely your call, Buck. Your life. You get to decide who you are with.” Bucky’s face fell then and Steve was afraid that he had said something wrong. Shit.

“Do you like Connie?” Steve tried to mask his emotions because this was not where he wanted to be. He was treading in dangerous waters now and he could say something that could really fuck things up.

“I don’t really know her Buck.” Bucky nodded.

“I wish you would have known her before the accident. She really was something.” Steve smiled weakly at him. He was trying to be helpful but he hated talking about Connie. Especially with Bucky.

“I was gonna stop by the clinic today, if that’s alright with you.” Bucky looked up and nodded.

“Yeah. You still have that spare key I left ya?” Steve nodded. “Well, make yourself at home there. I should be in later. After I finish with Connie and all that.” Steve nodded again. Jesus he felt like a bobble-head with all this nodding.

“Alright.” Steve took a step back and crossed his arms over his chest. Everything felt awkward now. It was like a bad one night stand where one has to go back to their significant other. “I’ll see you later.” Steve said as he started heading back towards the bathroom.

Right now all Steve wanted was a nice relaxing shower to wash this pathetic feeling off him.

“Bye Steve.” Steve didn’t really acknowledge Bucky’s exit, just waved his hand in goodbye as he walked into the bathroom.

* * *

When Steve turned off the water in shower, the first thing he heard was a set of voices. Someone was in his apartment. Or, well, people. There were people in his apartment.

He wrapped a towel around his hips and quickly went to the door, leaning against it to see if he could hear who it was that was in his apartment. He heard footsteps and then he heard what sounded like two voices.

Sam wasn’t supposed to be home yet and really, the only person who would legit just walk into his apartment would be Peggy. After listening and realizing that the voices were in fact female, he opened the door and stepped out.

And there, standing in his kitchen was none other than Peggy and Natasha.

“Steve. Pleasure.” Natasha looked over at him and just raised an eyebrow and Steve turned and went to his room. He grabbed the nearest pair of sweats and pulled them on before walking back out to the kitchen.

“What do I owe the pleasure of you two lovely ladies’ company?”

“I just came to see how you were feeling.” Peggy answered with her usual smile. “Natasha on the other hand…”

“I was hoping to catch Bucky here, but I see he has already left.”

“Just left, actually.”

“Damn.” Steve leaned against the counter. “He went back to Connie, in case you were wondering.” Steve looked down at his feet, taking a deep breath. “I think he wants to try and salvage what is left of their relationship.”

“And you didn’t stop him?” Natasha stepped forward.

“It’s his life. He gets to choose who he dates and whatnot.”

“You are just too good Rogers.” Natasha said as she shoved passed him, making her way to the living room. “Bucky on the other hand is a complete moron.” Steve didn’t say anything as she plopped down on the couch and turned on the TV.

“You alright?” He looked up and saw Peggy standing next to him. Steve let out a deep breath and glanced over at Natasha before looking back at Peggy. He couldn’t ever hide anything from Peggy. Might as well just tell her now.

“He was gonna propose to her, Peggy.” Peggy didn’t say anything for a bit. “He really loves her.”

“Steve…”

“I know. I know.” Peggy looked up at him and smiled.

“You’ll be alright. You always are.” Peggy reached out and grabbed his hand, giving it a tight squeeze. Steve just nodded before heading back to his room. He needed some alone time to think some things through.

What better way to get his mind off of things than by working.

* * *

Steve walked up to the clinic and pulled his key out, and unlocked the door. He already knew that Bucky wasn’t going to be here. He probably wouldn’t show up at all today. Steve didn’t want to think about what kind of reunion Bucky and Connie were probably having.

He shut the door behind him and immediately made his way to the mural room. He set his bag down and let out a deep breath. He needed to not think about Bucky. He needed to focus on the mural.

That was his task for the day.

Steve pulled out his i-pod and pressed play and let the music take over his mind as he knelt down on the floor and took out all his supplies and got to work.

He didn’t know how long he worked. But he was so engrossed in his work and in the music that he didn’t even hear the front door open. In fact, he didn’t even hear the door to the room open. He was reaching back to get his water when his hand hit the top of someone’s foot. Steve immediately turned around and looked up.

It was Bucky. Of course it was Bucky. Who else would it be?

Bucky looked down at him and smiled.

“Hello Steve.”

“Hey Buck. Sorry, didn’t hear ya come in.” Steve pulled himself up and turned off the music. He checked the time and found that he had been here for three hours already.

Shit. Where had time gone?

“It looks nice.” Bucky said with a smile as he looked around the room.

“Yeah. Almost done outlining everything. Then it will be time to paint.” Steve looked down at his hands before looking back at Bucky, taking a small step back.

He was fully expecting Bucky to not come in at all today. Sure Bucky had said he would be in, but he figured that he wouldn't, just to spend more time with Connie.

Bucky looked a lot better now. He was wearing different clothes and his hair was pulled back and he looked like his old self again. He had a distinct glow to him that hadn’t been there this morning and it made Steve’s heart sink a bit.

“You still have your beard.” Bucky said, a small grin forming on his lips. Steve laughed. Bucky hadn’t even mentioned anything about it this morning. It was nice to know Bucky still remembered that.

“Yeah. And you don’t.” Bucky nodded and ran a hand over his face, as if checking to make sure that his beard was in fact, gone. Steve ran a hand through his hair. He didn’t want to ask how things went with Connie, but he knew Bucky was expecting him to ask, so he might as well get it over with. “How did things go? With Connie?”

He of course, didn’t really need to ask. He knew things went alright if that glow was anything to go by.

“Um, well, things went alright.” Steve nodded, taking another step back. Bucky looked up at him, confusion on his face. “You’re not gonna pry and ask for all the details?”

“Not really my place.” Bucky let out a small laugh. But it wasn’t really a happy laugh.

“God, you are something else. Natasha would have sucked out every single detail from me.”

“Well I’m not Natasha. Although she did pay me a visit this morning, after you left.”

“Of course she did.” Bucky took a few steps forward but he wouldn’t look at Steve. “Connie and I are going to give it another go.” Steve kept his face calm and honestly, he could have won a fucking Oscar by how excellent he played his part. He had been doing it all day.

“That’s good to hear.” Bucky looked up at him, studying him. He didn’t really know why Bucky was so interested in his reaction to all of this. But he wasn’t going to give anything away.

“I thought a lot about what you said and you were right. Connie and I are different people now. So, we are going to try and get this to work with who we are now. And if it doesn’t, well then that’s that.”

“Good way to go about it.” Steve replied as calmly as he could.

“Are you alright Steve?”

“Sure. Why wouldn’t I be?” Steve smiled and yes, he should be on stage accepting that little statue right now. Bucky just looked at him.

“Alright, well, I just wanted to stop by and see how things are going and do some paperwork that I failed to do last night.”

“I’m gonna continue working. Oh.” Steve said, suddenly remembering. “I’m not gonna be able to come in tomorrow.”

“Oh. That’s alright. Any particular reason?”

“I have a meeting with another potential client. He wants to see my portfolio and all that.”

“Oh. Well, good luck.” Steve smiled.

“Thanks. I mean, the guy just wants to look at my work and see if that’s something he wants so who knows if anything will happen…”

“Steve, the man would be stupid if he didn’t hire you.” Steve smiled.

“I guess we’ll see.”

“You gotta stop selling yourself short. Honestly, I don’t know how you worked with Peter so many times.” Steve did laugh at that.

“Oh, Peter still complains about all that.” Bucky took a step forward.

“Steve, you are an amazing artist. Anyone would be a damn fool that didn’t see that. You are going to accomplish so much.”

“Buck…”

“I mean it Steve. You have to know that you are amazing. You need to believe in yourself a bit, alright.” Steve just smiled.

“I’ll try.”

“You better. If not, I’ll always be around to give you a good kick in the pants if you ever start doubting yourself again.” Steve just laughed and bumped his shoulder into Bucky.

“Same with you, you little jerk.”

“Punk.” Bucky said, hitting Steve’s shoulder right back.

“Go do your paperwork, will you so I can get some shit done.”

“Asshole.”

“Hey now, remember, language.”

“Don’t be such a smartass.” Bucky said, while flipping him off and leaving the room. Steve just laughed as he grabbed his i-pod and turned on his music again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading everyone! Let me know what you think!
> 
> I feel like this chapter was all over the place and a little on the short side, but the next chapter will be more interesting, at least, I hope it is. ;)
> 
> Next up, we have Steve and Bucky going on a little pain run and they run into none other than Brock Rumlow.


	13. (47.)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow, I think this is the quickest I think I have put up an update. Yay me! 
> 
> Anyways, as always, thanks to everyone who has read, left a comment, kudos and subscribed to this story. You are always amazing and I love you all! :)

“So, the guy was a complete ass?”

“Oh, you have no idea.”

Steve and Bucky had been sitting in the mural room for the past hour talking about how horrible Steve’s client meeting went. Bucky had found it all very amusing, but Steve, Steve just wanted to forget the whole thing even happened.

Steve had shown up at the café, the one that the guy had requested, all dressed to impress and portfolio in hand.

And the guy had been an hour late.

Steve had waited for half an hour for the guy to show up. He knew things happened, life was always unexpected, and he was willing to give the guy a chance and wait it out. But Steve had decided that he would call him, just to make sure the meeting was still going to happen.

And well, that was when Steve started getting angry.

The guy had actually forgotten about the meeting. Like, really? Steve about lost his shit. But the guy said he was on his way so Steve waited. He was going to give this guy one more chance.

The guy, Steve couldn’t even be bothered to remember his name right now, finally showed up. He had smiled at Steve and apologized and acted like nothing had happened, like he wasn’t an hour late. But then he talked and Steve was just not having it. He treated Steve like he was nothing and well, honestly, Steve can’t even remember what the guy actually wanted but Steve wasn’t going to do it anyways.

He declined the offer as politely as he could. And the man just rolled his eyes and walked away.

It made Steve want to drink until he passed out.

Which, he did.

Steve wasn’t much of a drinker, but when he was mad or upset, he liked to drink until he forgot everything that made him feel that way.

He went back to his apartment and drank the one six pack he had in his fridge and passed out on the couch. Sam found him a few hours later when he came home from his trip.

Steve had vented to Sam about the client before going to bed.

And when he walked into the clinic a few days later, he was still pissed off at the guy. He had never had a potential client act like that. In fact, Steve had never turned down a client before. This was all new to him.

So when Bucky asked him about the meeting, Steve just let out a frustrated sigh and went straight into venting mode.

“You should have told him off or something.” Bucky said with a smile. “Put him in his place.”

“Nah, I couldn’t do that…”

“So you just turned him down.”

“Yeah. I’ve never turned down a client before, so that was possibly the meanest thing I could have done.” Bucky just laughed.

“Wow. You really are something else Rogers.”

“I try.” Steve said as he leaned back on his elbows, looking up at Bucky from his spot on the floor. Bucky just looked down at him from the stool he was sitting on with an amused look on his face.

“You are such a little shit.” Steve just laughed.

“So, I’m gonna need to get some paint. Wanna come with me?” Steve pulled himself up and looked around for where he set his phone.

“I guess. I’m buying, remember?” Steve let out a small sigh.

“Bucky….”

“Nope. You don’t get a say in this. I am the one that hired you. I’m paying for your supplies. End of story.” Steve let out another sigh as he reached down and grabbed his phone.

“Alright. Whatever you say.”

“Damn straight.”

* * *

The walk to the art store was actually a very relaxing one. Bucky talked the whole way there about all the nurses he hired and when they will start training. He talked about when he was opening the clinic and made sure that Steve had it saved in his phone so he would be at the opening party.

It was nice. Steve had forgotten how relaxing it was just to be around Bucky. How at ease he was. It felt like Steve could conquer the world, as long as Bucky was there right next to him.

Bucky didn’t bring up Connie. And Steve didn’t ask about her. He could tell that Bucky seemed to be back to his old self so there was really no point in bringing her up, right? He obviously wasn’t suffering at the moment.

If Bucky happened to bring her up, then Steve would be there for him and all that, but he was not going to bring her up on his own. He was done with that.

Steve walked up to the art store and was about the walk in when Bucky stopped him.

“This is where you get your supplies?” Steve looked over at him and nodded.

“Yeah, it isn’t really big or well known, but it has the best supplies. I always come here.”

“Oh. Cool.” Bucky replied, taking a small step forward.

“Is it alright? We can go somewhere else if you want.”

“No. It’s good.” Bucky stepped passed Steve and opened the door for him. “Shall we?” Steve just smiled and walked in. The strong smell of paint entering his nostrils. Oh he had missed this smell.

“If you want to wait right here, I will grab what I need and then we can head back.” Bucky nodded and went off in the direction of the sketchpads. Steve walked down the aisle he knew all too well and started looking through the paint. He pulled out his little list he had made a while back.

He had a vague idea of what colors he needed and what kind of brushes he would use, but he knew that seeing the colors would also help him as well. He had already picked out his brushes and few colors when he heard an all too familiar voice. A voice he hadn’t heard in a long time. A voice he didn’t want to hear again.

“Well well well, look what the cat dragged in.” Steve’s whole body went cold and he immediately tensed. If he wasn’t holding a basket he was sure that he would have dropped all his supplies. Steve finally found the strength to look over and thi was no dream. There he was, standing at the end of the aisle.

Brock Rumlow.

“Brock.” Steve whispered, taking everything in. Brock looked as good as he always did. He looked his usual confident self as he smirked over at Steve, giving Steve a once over as he approached him. Brock was dressed in what looked like work-out clothes. He had probably just left the gym, knowing how Brock was. He had always spent more time at the gym than with Steve.

But he looked good. There was no doubting that. But Steve wasn’t ready for this. He wasn’t ready to see him looking okay. He wanted to see Brock looking awful and a mess. Steve had been a hot mess after the break up and here Brock looked like his usually cocky self.

“Steven Rogers. I should’ve known I would find you here.” Steve took a deep breath. He needed to be strong here. Brock had been the horrible partner in their relationship. Steve hadn’t done anything wrong. He was the better one here.

“I never would have expected you here.” Steve replied. Brock had hated coming with Steve into this place. Always complained about the smell and the people. And anytime he did come, he always wanted to fool around in public. It was odd and Steve needed to not think about that now. Brock just laughed.

“Yeah, well, my sister is getting into painting now, so I came to get her some supplies for her birthday.” Steve nodded. Right. His sister Maria was always looking into something different. Steve liked her. He wondered how she was doing.

“Right.” Brock took another step forward and Steve felt his eyes on him.

“You look good Steve.” Brock purred out and Steve hated the shiver that it sent throughout his body. No. He would not let Brock have his effect on him. “Much better than I remember.” Steve looked over and found that Brock had moved into his personal space. Of course. Brock was never one for personal space. “You know, there is that spare closet in the back.” Steve felt Brock’s breath against his ear and his hand snaking around his waist. “We could, I don’t know, relive the good old days.” Brock was running his fingers under the hem of Steve’s shirt and god, it felt incredible. He closed his eyes and gave in to the sensations.

“Steve?” Steve felt like he jumped out of his skin.

Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit.

He looked over and saw Bucky slowly making his way over to him. Bucky had a weird look on his face. He looked concerned and pissed off. It didn’t really make sense to Steve but he had other things to worry about right now.

Like getting as far away from Brock as he possibly could.

Brock pulled his hand away and Steve saw him put on his best smile as he sized up Bucky. Nothing good was going to come from this. Steve could already sense that.

“Steve, is everything alright?” Bucky asked again, coming up to stand next to Steve.

“Um yes. Yes. Everything is quite alright.”

“Oh Steve. Always so rude.” Brock interrupted as he stepped forward, bumping Steve along the way. “I’m Brock Rumlow.”

“James Barnes.” Bucky replied, slowly taking Brock’s hand. Steve just wanted the floor to swallow him up. He didn’t want to be here right now. Why did he have to get supplies today? He could have waited till tomorrow or something, but no, he had to get them today.

“Mmmm, just your type, ain’t he Steve, your new man.” Steve didn’t even look over at Bucky. He just looked at the floor. Of course Brock would make things a thousand times worse.

“He’s not my boyfriend.” Steve mumbled, but he was positive that no one heard him. He looked up and saw that Bucky was giving Brock the stare down.

“How do you know Steve?” Bucky asked. And his voice was almost unrecognizable. He had never seen Bucky like this. Brock just laughed.

“How do I know Steve?” Steve jumped when Brock wrapped his arm around Steve’s shoulder and pulled him close. “Steve and I go way back. Don’t we Steve?” Steve looked up and saw that Bucky just looked confused and somewhat uncomfortable. Steve shrugged Brock’s hand off his shoulder and stepped away. He might as well get this all out of the way.

“Brock is my ex.” Steve looked up and saw Bucky’s face fall. He looked back from Steve to Brock then back at Steve again.

“Oh.” Brock just let out a small laugh as he crowded in on Steve again.

“Oh, didn’t you tell him how you take it, Steve?” Steve suddenly got the urge to punch Brock. But he wouldn’t do that here.

“Fuck off Brock.” Steve mumbled out, again, taking a few steps away from him. He looked back at Bucky and saw that Bucky seemed to be slowly taking everything in.

“Steve, come on, for old times sake. The closet holds some pretty good memories, am I right?” Steve just glared at him. He was about to give Brock a piece of his mind when Bucky stepped forward

“Will you just fuck off? Steve don’t want you here and I sure as hell don’t want you here. You are bothering him. So go bother someone else, will ya?”

“Oooh. You sure did pick a fiery one. Well, you know where to find me if you ever want to let off some steam.” Steve didn’t even acknowledge that comment. He just continued looking down at the floor, really hoping that it would hurry up and open already to get him out of this situation.

“He seems like a great guy.” Bucky said, sarcasm dripping in his voice. Steve could tell that he was trying make good of a bad situation. But Steve didn’t feel like laughing at this. He just wanted to go home and sleep. Or possibly throw up. Maybe both.

He had envisioned in his head many times how it would go when he finally ran into Brock again.

And well, this was not what he had envisioned and not what he wanted.

“I think I’m uh I’m gonna go.” Steve dropped the basket and high tailed it out of there before things could get any more awkward. He heard Bucky calling his name but he didn’t care. He needed to be outside and away from here fast.

* * *

Steve wasn’t sure how long he walked. But he barely heard his phone going off. He just didn’t feel like answering it at the moment. He finally found a secluded alleyway and walked in. He took a few deep breaths before he felt sick.

He quickly ran over and threw up behind the nearest trash can. When he had thrown up everything in his stomach, he fell back against the opposite wall and ran his hands over his face.

This was ridiculous.

He shouldn’t have left Bucky there alone. He shouldn’t have run off. This was proving that Brock had the upper hand and was stronger than him.

God dammit.

Steve let out another sigh as his phone started vibrating in his pocket. He pulled it out and looked down. He had about 2 missed calls from Bucky, another three from Sam and a couple from Peggy. He also had a few text messages.

He didn’t read any of the other text messages except Bucky’s.

_Hey Steve. I’m back at the clinic. If you need to talk I am here for you. Hope you’re alright._

Steve hit his head against the wall as his phone started vibrating again. God dammit won’t everyone just leave him alone.

“Hello.” Steve answered. Not even caring who it was at this point.

“About fucking time.” Sam shouted at him. “Jesus, Peggy and I have been trying to get a hold of you for an hour man.” Shit, Steve had been wondering around the city for an hour.

“Sam…” Steve breathed out, taking another deep breath and hitting his head against the wall again. “Sam I…”

“Steve? Are you alright? What’s wrong?” Steve couldn’t find his voice for a bit. “Steve, I need you to talk to me. What’s going on?”

“I saw him.” Steve finally managed to get out.

“Who? Steve, who did you see?”

“Brock.” Steve whispered and Sam was silent for a bit. “Sam?”

“Well shit. Are you alright man? Do you need me to come find you or something? Where are you?”

“I don’t know. Bucky and I were in the art shop and Brock was there and then I bolted.”

“Wait. Bucky was there? Steve. Are you sure you’re alright?” Steve could feel his breathing start to increase again. God, he needed to calm himself down. "Steve?” But Steve was in his own little world.

“Steve?” That was a new voice. He closed his eyes and focused on his breathing and calmed himself down.

“Peggy?” He answered.

“Oh Steve. Thought we lost you there. How are you darling?” Her voice was so calm and soothing. It felt like she was right there with him.

“Peggy.” He replied with a smile. “I feel awful.”

“I can imagine. I’m sorry about Brock. Can you tell me what happened honey?” Steve took another deep breath, swallowing all the excess saliva that was filling his mouth.

“Bucky and I were going to the art shop to get supplies. Bucky went off in one direction and I went to get the paint and brushes.” Peggy made a small noise of acknowledgement, letting Steve know that she was listening. “And well, Brock appeared out of nowhere. And he was acting so cocky and everything, like he always was and just…” Steve took a deep breath.

“Steve?”

“He got into my personal space and insinuated that we hook up in the damn store. And then Bucky came over. And Brock told him that he was my ex and just…”

“Steve. It’s alright honey. Is Bucky there now? Can I speak with him?”

“No. I ran out of the store. Bucky is back at the clinic I think. I don’t know. I feel like shit for jut bailing on him but I had to get out.”

“Alright. Well, Steve. Honey, I need you to listen to me, alright?”

“Okay.” Steve whispered. “You are gonna have to go talk with Bucky.”

“Peggy…” But she interrupted him.

“Sam and I both know you, and you have been worried about Bucky finding out about your sexual preferences for a while now. You need to talk to him before your brain does it for you and you avoid him for the rest of your life.”

“I just…what if he looks at me differently? You didn’t see his face in the art shop. He…”

“Steve.” Peggy said, with a little more forceful this time. “You need to calm down. Bucky is your friend. He is not gonna care who you sleep with or who you have slept with. Is that clear?”

“Peggy…”

“No. You either go talk to Bucky or you tell me where you are and we will come get you. And I will personally drag your ass to that clinic.” Steve let out a small sigh.

“Okay.”

“Okay? What is your decision?”

“I will go talk with Bucky. As soon as I can figure out where I am. I sort of spaced out once I walked out.”

“You will do fine. Call me afterwards. I want to know how it went.”

“Alright.” Steve responded as he hung up his phone and made his way back to the clinic. After finally glancing around, he realized where he was and really, Steve shouldn’t be allowed to walk when he is out of his mind because honestly, who knows where in the hell he would end up next?

* * *

Steve walked up to the clinic and let out a deep breath. He could do this. Steve knew he was just over-thinking everything. Bucky would be okay with it. He had to be.

If not, well, so much for that then.

Steve opened the door and found Bucky standing at the front desk with some woman that Steve didn’t recognize. Bucky was pointing something out on the computer as the woman looked on. When the bell on the door chimed, Bucky looked up at him and smiled.

“Steve.” Steve couldn’t help but release a sigh of relief. Bucky was happy to see him. That was nice. This was already going well. Good.

“Hey Bucky.” Bucky looked down at the woman and mumbled something to her before motioning for Steve to follow him back into the offices. “Who’s that?” Steve asked as they slowly made their way back to Bucky’s office.

“Oh. Bonnie. She is Connie’s friend.” Steve let out a small snort because honestly, the names. Steve wondered how often their names got messed up. “Yeah, I know, right?”

“She the new receptionist?”

“One of them. She has weird hours so I needed to hire more.”

“I see.”

Bucky walked into his office and Steve followed, shutting the door behind him. The first thing Steve saw was a bag from the art store.

“Bucky….you bought the supplies?”

“Just the ones you had in the basket. I didn’t know what other colors you wanted so I didn’t buy anymore.”

“No. It’s alright. Thank you.” Steve said, a small smile coming to his lips as he sat down. He grabbed the bag and started looking at the brushes. “I wanted to apologize for just leaving you there. It was a complete dick move and I’m really sorry.”

“Steve, don’t worry about it…”

“But Brock, he was a complete ass and I just…” Bucky looked up at him, and he must have seen something on Steve’s face because he sat down and he looked at Steve with a very understanding look.

“The ex you were always mentioning, was that Brock?”

“Yeah…”

“Don’t know what you saw in that asshole.” Bucky mumbled out and it caught Steve completely off guard. He looked up and Bucky suddenly looked nervous. “I mean, was he like that when you two were together?” Steve shrugged.

“He was like that sometimes. He was nice in the beginning. It looked like we had a lot in common and he treated me well. He made me happy. But then things changed. Brock changed. And then he started treating me like shit and acting like he did in the shop. But I was stupid. I loved him. But then I found out that he had cheated on me throughout our entire relationship.”

“Oh Steve…”

“So, before we met at the club, I was a mess and well, I’m still a mess, obviously, because I let Brock get to me. He made me feel like no one would ever want me. He told me as much when we broke up.”

“Dude, if we ever see that piece of shit again, I will hit him so hard, he’ll wake up in the stone age.” Steve laughed at that. Bucky wasn’t judging him. He was acting like regular old Bucky.

He was defending him.

“I would like be there when that happens. I would love to be the one doing it.”

“But again, how do you go from someone like Peggy to that piece of shit Rumlow?”

“I honestly don’t know. Like, Sharon introduced us. She works with him, as does Natasha, actually.” Bucky’s eyes widened at that. “And well, we were happy, I guess. But not enough, since he fucked other people.”

“So, wait, Natasha knows about you and Brock?” How was that the only thing that Bucky processed?

“Yeah. I don’t usually bring it up. I figured who I sleep with is no-one’s business but my own.” Bucky nodded, but Steve could see something behind his look. Bucky almost looked betrayed. “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you.”

“No. Steve, it’s alright. You’re right. Who you’re fucking is none of my business.”

“Well, since I’m fucking no one at the moment…” Steve replied with a smile.

“Alright. Who you fucked is none of my business.”

“Well I’m glad it doesn’t bother you.”

“Did you think it would?” Steve just shrugged.

“Not everyone is as accepting. Brock sure as hell wasn’t. He hated that I dated Peggy. But Brock fucked other girls when we were together. Hypocritical piece of shit.”

“Steve. You are a wonderful person. You are my best friend. Like, it’s weird. We have only known each other for such a short time, but I feel like I have known you so much longer than that. I always considered Natasha my best friend, but sometimes I feel like I could tell you things I couldn’t even tell her.” Steve couldn’t help the smile that appeared on his face.

 

“Really?”

“Yeah. And hell, now that I know you are bi, I could find some guys for you too.” Steve let out a little snort at that.

“Buck…”

“Just kidding. When you are ready, of course, then I will show you how awesome I am at setting people up.” Steve was about to say something when there was a knock on the door. “Yes?” Bucky answered. The door opened and Bonnie stepped in. She was tall, not as tall as Steve or Bucky, but she looked nice. She had long blonde straight hair and bright blue eyes. Steve looked over at her and smiled.

And she glared at him.

What the fuck was that about. So much for Steve being nice. He looked back at the bag and waited for her conversation to be done with Bucky.

“I finished inputting all the information you wanted.”

“Good. You are free to go. I will see you tomorrow.” Bucky said, looking at her for a few seconds before turning his attention back to Steve. But Steve didn’t say anything until Bonnie had left. “You know, Bonnie is single…”

“Bucky. She glared at me when I smiled at her. There is no way in hell I would ever agree to that.” Bucky just laughed and nodded. “Besides, blondes aren’t really my type.”

“Yeah. And she can be kind of a bitch.”

“Now that’s not nice.” Bucky didn’t say anything as he looked down at his calendar.

“Oh. Did Natasha invite you to her house party?”

“Yeah. I think she may have texted me something about it. I wasn’t sure if I was gonna go or not. Parties aren’t really my thing.”

“You should go.” Steve just raised an eyebrow.

“Really now?”

“Yeah, I mean, I’m gonna be there.” Steve let out another laugh.

“Wow. Really Barnes?”

“Yeah, I know. I can be quite the selling point.”

“I’ll think about it.”

“Nah. I need to hear the definite yes. You’re killin’ my ego here Stevie.”

“Alright, alright. I will go.” Steve said through a laugh.

“Good.” Bucky replied as he leaned back in his chair. “A lot of people from her work are gonna be there, so it will be fun.”

“I already said I would be there. Don’t need to try and sell it to me anymore.” Bucky just laughed and Steve felt his heart do a small backflip in his chest.

“Glad to know that I’m enough for ya.” Steve just laughed and looked down at his hands.

Oh yeah, he was completely fucked.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks everyone! Let me know what you guys think! 
> 
> Next up, will be Natasha's little house party and Steve and Connie finally get to have a little talk.


	14. (50.)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just in time for Steve's birthday, right? ;)
> 
> Anyways, I know this gets repetitive, but thanks to everyone who has read, commented, subscribed or left kudos on this story. I am glad that you guys are enjoying the story. You are all amazing!

“Look at you, primping like some teenage girl about to go to prom.” Steve didn’t even turn around as he flipped Sam off. Sam just laughed as Peggy walked in, looking as beautiful as ever in a stunning red dress. Steve wished he could walk with as much confidence as she did.

“Don’t listen to him. I think you look handsome.” Steve smiled as Peggy reached up and straightened out the collar on his shirt.

“I didn’t say he didn’t look handsome.” Sam said, crossing his arms. “But he has been getting for about an hour now.”

“Gotta look my best otherwise Natasha would have my ass.” Steve responded. He didn’t really get much information from Natasha or anyone else, for that matter, about this whole thing, but he knew if he didn’t show up looking as nice as she wanted, he would get his ass chewed out. And that was something he didn’t want to deal with tonight.

And maybe some part of him wanted to look nice for Bucky (but he wouldn’t admit that to anyone, especially to anyone in this room).

“Bullshit. You are just trying to impress Barnes. That’s your ‘dress to impress’ shirt. I know you wear when you want people to notice you.” Steve looked over at him and gave him a little glare. “That’s how you got Brock, right?”

“Maybe.” Steve whispered. “But that isn’t the point. Blue just happens to always look good on me.” Sam just laughed and Peggy even let out a small giggle.

“Blue does bring out your eyes.” She said with another smile. “But hey, at least we are joking with you about Bucky and not lecturing you about him. I say that is quite a step forward.” Steve nodded.

“True. I like the lack of lectures I’ve been receiving lately. It is very refreshing.” Peggy just nodded as she took a step back and examined Steve like she had been the one to dress him. Of course, she always wanted to make sure Steve looked his best. Must have been a habit from when they were dating.

“You look as handsome as ever. Chase will certainly want to eat you right up.” Steve almost choked on his own spit.

“I’m sorry. What did you just say?” Peggy instantly avoided eye contact and made her way to the door. Sam was already down the hall.

“Let’s go guys. Your ride is leaving.” Sam shouted, bolting out of the apartment.

“Wait. Guys! Who the fuck is Chase?” Steve shouted, running after them.

* * *

Chase happened to be an intern who worked under Tony Stark. And apparently, he has been talking to Peggy and Natasha about how he is looking for a boyfriend.

And of course, the ‘amazing’ friends that Peggy and Natasha are, decided that they would try and see if he and Steve had any chemistry.

Steve was furious.

He really hoped Bucky didn’t have anything to do with this otherwise he might just walk on back home. Fuck this party.

He had told countless people countless times that he wasn’t quite ready for a relationship yet (unless it was with Bucky, but that was a completely different story). And what do they do? Try and set him up with as many people as possible. It was so goddamn frustrating.

Steve ignored Peggy and Sam the whole way to Natasha’s apartment, which proved to be a very awkward car ride. They had apologized to him over a hundred times but Steve wasn’t having any of it. They wouldn’t get off the hook that easily.

When Sam parked the car in the lot, Steve stepped out and grabbed the dip he had whipped up for the occasion. It was one of his specialties. Natasha had said to bring something and well, he wasn’t going to disappoint. But he didn’t say a word to Peggy or Sam.

“Come on man, look, it doesn’t mean anything. Just talk to the guy and see what happens. You never know what could happen. You might actually end up liking him.” Steve just continued walking on as they made their way up to the top of the stairs.

Steve had never been here before but he had heard stories from Bucky and Peggy about Natasha and Clint’s apartment. They lived on the top floor in some artsy loft or something like that. Bucky had shown him a few pictures and it was really nice. Steve was almost jealous of it.

Almost. He was sure their rent was ridiculous. And he would take his small apartment with Sam over paying that much for an apartment any day.

Steve walked up to the door and rang the doorbell. Sam and Peggy stepped up behind him.

“Steve.” Peggy said, reaching out to grip his shoulder. “We didn’t mean any harm. You know that.”

“I know.” Steve replied with a sigh. “I just hate being set up all the time. I want to be able to find someone on my own.”

“I know…” Peggy started but was interrupted by the door swinging open. Clint stood in front of them with a big grin on his face.

“Steve! Sam! Peggy!” Clint shouted, reaching forward and pulling all three of them into some weird form of a hug. “Glad you guys could make it.” Steve just smiled as Clint pulled them inside.

“I brought dip.” Steve said as he held up the bowl.

“I got chips.” Sam said, holding up his contribution of a bag of doritios (that Steve actually bought).

“Nice. You can set them on the counter with the other food if you want.” Steve nodded and walked over to the kitchen counter and set the dip down. There was quite a few other random assortment of food sitting there. Fruit and veggie trays, other kinds of dip. Cheese and Salami. Everything you could think of.

“Who’s all here?” Peggy asked, coming up behind Steve. She set her tray of brownies on the table then turned her full attention back to Clint.

“Bucky and Connie, Thor and Jane, Tony and Pepper should be arriving soon. Bruce and Maria arrived just a few minutes before you guys did.”

“Where’s Natasha?” Steve asked, trying not to sound too angry. He had a bone to pick with Natasha.

“Back room.” Clint replied, wrapping an arm around Sam and pulling him into the living room. Steve didn’t even respond. He just turned and headed down the hallway.

He was about to call for her when he heard voices.

“But you didn’t see the guy Nat. He was fuckin’ huge. Like going to the gym all the time huge.”

“I’ve seen him. I work with the dickhead remember?” Steve took another step forward. Who were they talking about?

“But like, why didn’t you tell me? I feel like that is vital information for me to know considering, well, y’know.” Steve needed to back away. It wasn’t nice to eavesdrop on them.

“Bucky…” Natasha started but Steve interrupted, knocking on the door.

“Natasha.” He said sternly. Steve took a step back when the door opened. Bucky had answered and god damn did he look good.

He wasn’t as dressed up as he normally was, but those jeans looked damn good on him. And that red button up definitely did wonders for him. Wait, Bucky was not he objective here. He came to talk with Natasha.

“Hey Bucky.” Steve said and he would have to remember to give himself a pat on the back afterwards for saying that so calmly and for not checking out Bucky as he walked over to Natasha, who was sitting on the bed looking up at him. She has a small smirk on her face and Steve knew that she knew exactly why he was in there. “Sorry for interrupting but what in the hell do you mean setting me up with some intern who works with you?” Natasha just smiled as Bucky walked over next to him.

“What?” Bucky shouted. “Who did you set Steve up with?” Steve was almost surprised by how mad Bucky sounded. Well, at least he was on Steve’s side.

“Does it matter?” She asked, looking over at Bucky.

“It matters to me.” Steve said, trying very hard not to yell. He was sure his knuckles were turning white from keeping his anger in. “I specifically told you not to set me up with anyone. Did you suddenly forget?” Steve took another step forward.

“Chase is a very nice man. Just give him a chance. No harm there. I’m not asking you to marry him. Just see what you think.” Steve took a deep breath, calming himself down. This wasn’t the end of the world. It was just so damn ridiculous and frustrating. Steve couldn’t help but be pissed.

“What did you tell him about me?” Steve asked.

“I told him you were a skinny asthmatic kid with a heart of gold.” She said, giving him a look. “What in the hell did you think I told him? I told him that you are one of the nicest men I know and anybody would be lucky to have you. So you better live up to that and at least talk to that man.”

Steve just let out a small grunt of frustration and stormed out of the room.

“Steve.” Steve took a deep breath and stopped in the hallway. He needed to remain calm. There was no point in getting angry over this. He turned and looked at Bucky who was now standing in front of him. “I didn’t know they had set you up with some guy. If I had I would have put a stop to it.”

“I know. I just…” Steve took a deep breath. “I don’t need people trying to set me up all the time.”

“Trust me, I know the feeling all too well.” Steve was about to respond because Bucky shouldn’t know the feeling because Bucky was with someone and no one should be trying to set Bucky up with anyone, when he was interrupted.

“Steve!” Steve looked up and found Clint walking towards him, with a man that Steve could only assume was Chase, judging by the shit eating grin Clint was sporting.

And well, Chase wasn’t bad looking. He was younger than Steve, and tall, just a tad bit taller than Steve. He had dirty blonde hair and bright green eyes. He smiled over at Steve and Steve knew that the guy was checking him out.

Steve gave him a small look over and just let out a small sigh. This was still ridiculous. But, Steve was always willing to give everyone a chance.

“Steve, this is Chase.” Clint said with a big smile on his face. “Chase, this is Steve.”

“Hi Steve.” Chase said quickly, sticking his hand out. “I’ve heard a lot about you.” Steve just nodded and shook his hand. Steve wished he could say the same.

“Nice to meet you, Chase.” Steve noticed how everyone seemed to slowly back away and leave the two of them alone. Of course.

“So, I’ve heard that you intern for Tony Stark.” Might as well start playing along.

“Yeah, although, I would say I do more for Pepper than Tony. I don’t think I’ve really had one full conversation with Tony. Mostly just simple hellos and waves.” Steve laughed. That sounded like Tony Stark. “Natasha says that you are an artist.”

“I wouldn’t exactly say that…”

“Ah, what did I tell ya Stevie.” Bucky said, coming up from behind Steve and wrapping his arm around Steve’s shoulder. “You gotta stop being so negative. Steve here,” Bucky said, turning his attention to Chase. “Is an amazing artist. He’s actually doing a job for me right now.” Steve turned and looked at Bucky, giving him a small glare. Bucky was supposed to be on his side here, not helping Chase along.

Chase let out a small laugh and well it was an adorable laugh. It wasn’t Chase’s fault in all of this. Steve might as well try and be friendly. Give the guy a chance.

“James.” Natasha purred as she pulled Bucky away from Steve. “Let’s give those two some alone time.” Natasha smirked back at Steve as she pulled Bucky away. Oh sometimes he hated how sly Natasha could be. Chase didn’t even seem to notice, judging by the fact that his eyes never left Steve’s.

“So, what kind of things do you draw?” Chase asked. And he really sounded interested in Steve. He wasn’t just trying to be nice, like Steve had been. Most people just faked interest, something that Steve had been doing.

Brock had never been interested in what Steve drew. Said it as a waste of time most days. He never even modeled for Steve. The asshole.

“Oh, well, anything really. I’ve been working with Peter Parker on illustrating his children’s stories. I just finished one of his a while back. That’s when Bucky commissioned me to do a mural for him and some canvas landscape works. So yeah, I’m pretty flexible.” Chase just smiled and Steve couldn’t help but smile back.

Steve felt relaxed around Chase. Of course, Steve had always felt relaxed around Bucky. But Steve didn’t feel the need to impress Chase. He could be just Steve around him. It was nice.

Nice to just talk to someone for once. Someone he didn’t have to worry about messing up with. With Bucky he was always afraid that he would say something wrong or do something that would make Bucky see through him and his feelings and mess everything up.

Chase was really nice. He was really intelligent and knew what he was doing. And he seemed to be at ease with Steve. And really, if it would have been a different time for Steve, he would have totally considered going out with him.

But Steve would feel bad for dating the guy when he wasn’t really in it. Steve still thought about Bucky all the time. He still thought of ways that he and Bucky were going to get together (against his better judgment, he knew).

It wouldn’t be fair to Chase if Steve went into a relationship half-assed. Maybe if Steve ever got over Bucky enough that he wouldn’t feel guilty for being with someone else, then maybe he would consider dating the guy. Maybe.

Steve didn’t know what the future held for him, but he would keep an open mind.

Enough of an open mind that he got Chase’s number, you know, just in case.

* * *

About two hours into the party, Steve was feeling good. Better than good, he was feeling _fine_. He had spent the first hour chatting with Chase. And it was boring small talk either. Chase was actually really hilarious and had some amazing stories. Steve’s were boring compared to his. But after a while, Steve realized that he was ignoring everyone else so he and Chase went to converse with the others.

And Steve didn’t miss the smiles he was getting from both Natasha and Peggy.

Steve made his rounds, talking with everyone. He ended up chatting with Bruce and Thor. Natasha was off talking with Pepper and Maria while Sam was chatting with Chase and Tony. Clint was off talking with Peggy and two siblings Steve didn’t really know. He thought their names were Wanda and Pietro, he couldn’t really remember at the moment. Now Steve felt bad that he didn’t remember their names. But they seemed to be off in their own little world so Steve figured he wouldn’t have to endure an awkward encounter.

Bucky was off with Connie and Jane and few other people Steve didn’t know. It was weird because Steve hadn’t really spoken to Bucky all night, except for their few exchanges early on.

But it didn’t matter. Steve was actually having a good time. The food was amazing and the beer was good. This was honestly the most fun Steve has had in a social situation in a long time.

Steve never really did all that well at places like this.

Steve politely excused himself from Bruce and Thor and made his way into the kitchen to get himself something else to drink. When Steve reached the kitchen, he stopped short when he saw Connie standing there. Steve couldn’t help but take her in while she stood there, going through her phone.

She looked amazing in that yellow lace dress. Her hair was down and curled around her face. He never really noticed her beauty before but seeing her right now, he saw how beautiful she really was. She looked up at him and raised an eyebrow. Well, so much for being nice.

Maybe it was the alcohol that Steve had consumed that evening or maybe he was just feeling confident, but he was tired of all of this and he needed answers. He already knew Connie had a problem with him, he had seen that pretty clear with Bucky. But her friends hating on him too, when they don’t even know him, Steve had to draw the line there.

He might as well take advantage of the situation while it was standing right there in front of him.

“Connie.” He said, stepping over towards the counter.

“Steve.” She hissed out. Oh yes, this was going to go quite well.

“Okay, you and me, we are going to have a little chat.” Steve said, stepping up next to her.

“What could you and I possibly have to chat about?” She asked, crossing her arms across her chest before looking up at him with her best glare.

“Under normal circumstances, nothing. But you see, it seems that you have something against me and I want to know what it is.”

“I don’t know what you mean.” She said and well, Steve would give her credit where credit was due. She was quite the actor. But Steve would not be deterred. He took another step forward. He was going to get the answers he wanted.

“Look, right now, I am only person in this apartment that is willing to give you a chance besides Bucky. Everyone else out there, they all hate you, for reasons I can understand. But you see, Connie, I don’t know you. So I have no reason to hate you. But if you keep pulling this shit on me, that is all gonna change.” He watched as she looked down at the floor. She kicked at the tile with her foot and Steve could tell that she was nervous. Steve really didn’t want to intimidate her, but well, if that got her to talk to him, well then, that would work too.

Connie looked up at him and Steve was a little taken back by how different she looked. This must be the real Connie, the one that she lets nobody see.

“I know everyone hates me. Believe me, I’m not dumb. Being a bitch is just for my security. I try not to let it get to me anymore. It makes life a lot easier.”

“But why are you like that to me? I haven’t done anything to you, have I?” Connie let out a laugh, a bit too loud for the quiet room. Steve felt a sudden wave of uneasiness course through him.

“You really are clueless.”

“What are you talking about?”

“I know how you feel about James. I see the longing looks you give him. Saw it the first time we met. You want him and you are trying to steal him away from me.”

“What? Connie, no…”

“You and Natasha and everyone else are trying to take him away from me.” That was why she treated Steve like shit. Because she saw him as competition. That was just utter ridiculous. “Bucky is the only person who actually treats me well and you are not taking that away from me.”

“Look,” Steve said as he leaned down closer to her. “Everyone hates you because you abandoned Bucky when he needed you most. And then you conveniently come back when he is all better and back on his feet. It is a bit fishy to everyone. And I will admit, it is to me too. But I don’t know you. But I know Bucky. And he likes you. He even loves you.” Connie looked up at him and Steve suddenly felt sorry for her because she looked up at him like she didn’t know that small but of information.

Shit. Bucky had to have told her that all the time. Right? Maybe Steve hadn’t been ready for this conversation. Maybe he should have waited until he was sober. He probably should have waited until he was sober. But it was too late now. He had dug this hole for himself.

“I love Bucky too.” Steve heard her voice crack and great, now she was going to start crying. “I was scared when he had his accident. I just…it is a big commitment and…”

“You don’t have to explain your motivations to me. You and Bucky have something. Something that Bucky and I are never gonna have.” She looked up at him.

“You are so naïve Steve.” Steve’s face fell at that.

“What…” She quickly wiped her tears away as footsteps approached the kitchen. Steve took a quick step back and looked over to see who was walking in.

It was Bucky. Of course it was Bucky. With Chase.

Well, that was a surprise.

“Here they are.” Bucky said, big smile on his face. Steve felt his knees weaken and he quickly looked over at Connie. She just raised an eyebrow before smiling back at Bucky.

“Yep. Steve and I were just having a quick conversation.” Bucky’s smile fell a bit as he walked over to Connie and wrapped an arm around her waist.

“Oh really? About what?”

“Oh, nothing important.” Steve answered, looking back at Chase. “Hey.” Chase smiled.

“Hey. I just wanted to say bye. I have an early morning tomorrow. So I better leave now before I really regret it.”

“Oh, well, it was nice meeting you.” Steve responded. Chase just smiled.

“Same. I’ll text you sometime.” Chase said and before Steve could really react, Chase leaned forward and pressed a quick kiss to Steve’s cheek. “Bye.” Chase said quickly before making his way to the door. And Steve was sure that he saw the faintest hint of a blush on Chase’s cheeks.

Steve was glued to the spot, a small smile creeping to his face. That guy sure was a sly bugger. Steve heard more footsteps coming and he quickly snapped out of his little daze. Peggy walked into the kitchen with a big smirk on her face.

“What is that dorky look on your face, Rogers?” She said, walking over and smacking him in the arm.

“Nothing.” Steve replied as he rubbed at the spot on his arm that Peggy had hit. Leave it to Peggy to still pack a punch even when she is joking.

“Oh, you like him, don’t you? See, Steve, this is why you give people a chance. You never know…”

“I still don’t know him. I mean, he’s nice and well, yeah he is attractive.”

“But…”

“I’m not ready for a relationship right now.” There was a cough and Steve looked over and found Connie glaring up at Bucky who looked downright furious. “Bucky? You alright?” Bucky seemed to realize that he was glaring and quickly snapped out of it.

“Yeah, just, felt sick there for a moment. Excuse me.” Bucky then quickly went down the hallway and Steve jumped when the door slammed shut.

“We’ll talk about this later.” Peggy said before turning and leaving the kitchen quickly. Steve just looked back down the hallway. What in the hell was wrong with Bucky?

“You need to back off of Bucky.” Connie’s words brought Steve out of his thoughts.

“Will you please explain yourself on that?” Steve said as he ran a hand over his face. He was getting a headache now. Connie kept throwing out these vague hints and Steve wasn’t going to play 20 questions on this. She just needed to come right out and say it.

“Bucky likes you. You are all he talks about and it really needs to stop.”

“I’m not gonna stop being his friend. But he isn’t gonna leave you for me so you can stop worrying about that. Jesus!” Connie looked at him and she seemed to be studying him. “What now?”

“He never told you about Alex?”

“Alex? Alex who?” Connie just shrugged.

“It’s not my place to say. Regardless of that, stay away from him or I will have to take drastic measures.” And with that, Connie turned on her heel and made her way down the hallway to where Bucky was. Steve just stared after her with confusion. He couldn’t believe that she had just threatened him. But more importantly.

Who in the hell was Alex?

* * *

It was about two in the morning when Sam, Steve and Peggy made it back to the apartment. Peggy had already decided that she was crashing with them and promptly passed out on the couch not even a minute into entering the apartment.

Steve just laughed and grabbed a pillow and blanket for her and got her situated before heading to his room. He was in the process of removing his shirt when Sam walked in.

“So, how were things with Chase? Peggy said it went well.”

“He was nice.” Steve said, turning around, smiling a bit. “I got his number.”

“Nice.” Sam said with a smile. “Look at you go.”

“I’m not promising anything Sam. I may talk to him but…”

“Yeah yeah. I understand. I’m just glad you tried. It’s nice. We just want to see you happy.” Steve nodded.

“So Connie thinks I’m gonna steal Bucky from her.” Steve knew he probably shouldn’t have brought this up yet, but he felt that he needed to tell someone. And he knew Sam would probably get a laugh out of it. Maybe.

“What!” Sam said, taking a step forward, laughing as he walked. “How did you figure that out?”

“She told me. We had a nice little talk. Cleared the air and all that shit.”

“Oh. I bet that was nice.”

“Yeah, but she um, mentioned something about an Alex. Do you know an Alex that would be associated with Bucky?” Sam just shrugged.

“Can’t say I do. Maybe it’s some ex-girlfriend or something.”

“Maybe.” Steve said with a shrug. Something didn’t ring right with that though. Why would Connie bring that up? Who was this Alex person and why hadn’t Bucky mentioned them before? “Well, goodnight Sam.”

“Night.” Sam said, shutting the door behind him.

Steve knew there was no way he was getting much sleep tonight. He had too many thoughts running rampant in his mind. He wanted to know who this Alex was. But he couldn’t just ask Bucky about it. That would just spell trouble. Steve let out a small sigh as he crawled into bed. He would just have to wait it out.

As for staying away from Bucky, Steve let out a little laugh at that. Sorry Connie, but there was no way in hell he was doing that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, so, this chapter turned out a lot differently than I was expecting it to. Chase wasn't supposed to be in this story much, but I kinda like him so he is gonna come back later on. I also don't think I did Connie justice, but whatever.
> 
> Hope you all enjoy and let me know what you think. :)


	15. (53.)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! Sorry for taking so long to update. Life just happened y'know and I've been busy with work and stuff. But thanks for being patient with me you guys, you are all amazing!

Steve sat in the mural room, music blaring through his headphones as he painted. Right now Fred Astaire and Ginger Rogers were singing about a fine romance and Steve couldn’t help but sing along. How could you not when it was Fred and Ginger.

Steve took a small step back and examined his work. He was more than halfway done with the mural. He had come in late last night to work on it. He had a small case of insomnia and texted Bucky to see if he could go in and start working.

He had completely forgotten that it was like three in the morning and he probably shouldn’t have texted Bucky. But Bucky responded five minutes later saying it was alright. No questions or anything.

And well, Steve had been here since.

It was now hitting 4 p.m. and Steve wasn’t even tired. Well, he figured he probably was tired, just his mind hadn’t completely caught up with him yet. Give it time and Steve was sure he would pass out. Just hopefully it would happen when he got home.

He had seen Bucky only twice that day. He had come in to see Steve in the morning, and Steve thought he looked a little worried that Steve was still there by 9, but he didn’t say anything. Steve was thankful for that. He didn’t think he could explain the fact that Steve had been up all night was because he was thinking about how everything was going to be after Steve finished the commissions.

But Bucky said that he would be pretty busy that day. Apparently Bucky was still training Bonnie and he was also training another receptionist, Wade.

The second time Bucky had come in was around lunch time. He still looked a little upset that Steve was still there, actually voicing his concerns that time by saying that Steve should go home and get some sleep. But Steve was in the zone and said he didn’t need sleep, not yet. Bucky had shrugged it off and invited Steve out for lunch with him and Connie (Steve was surprised, to say the least, but declined none the less).

And he hadn’t heard from Bucky since. Not that Steve would really notice. He was too far out of his own mind to really notice anything at the moment. He was like that when he painted. He just let his mind go and put all his focus into his work.

He didn’t even hear Bucky come in for the third time that day. It wasn’t until Bucky tapped his shoulder that Steve knew. He quickly turned off his music and pulled his headphones off before turning to face him.

“Hey Buck. Sorry, didn’t hear ya come in.”

“I figured. It looks nice.” Bucky said, taking a small step back to examine the whole thing. “It looks damn good. I can’t believe it. The children are gonna love it.” Steve looked over and saw Bucky smiling at the mural and god, he looked so beautiful. Steve will never get over how beautiful Bucky was. He wanted Bucky to know how beautiful he was, but he figured that would border on awkward territory and he wasn’t going to do that.

“Well, I’m glad.” Steve responded as he ran his hand over the back of his neck. Bucky just smiled and he was about to respond when there was a buzzing sound on the table. Steve looked over and saw that it was his phone. “Can you hand me that?” Bucky nodded and picked it up right when it buzzed again. Steve saw Bucky glance down and the smile fell from Bucky’s face for a brief second.

Steve wouldn’t have noticed it if he hadn’t been looking at him at the time. But the smile was back in a few quick seconds as he handed the phone to Steve.

“It’s Chase.” Steve could hear the faint strain in Bucky’s voice. “You talkin’ to him then?” Bucky asked as Steve took the phone. And if Steve didn’t know better, he would have thought Bucky was upset by the thought of him talking to Chase.

“Oh. Um, yeah. Sorta.” Steve replied, opening the text. He let out a small smile as he found a picture from Chase. It was of Tony Stark sleeping at his work station. Natasha was creeping behind him with a marker. And Steve could even make out Pepper in the background. She looked like she was disapproving of this, but Steve was positive that she found it hilarious as well.

_This is what happens when the boss falls asleep ;)_

Steve smiled down at the text as he sent off a response.

“So, you like him?” Steve looked up at him and saw a weird look on Bucky’s face.

“Um, well. Yeah. He’s nice to talk to. Look!” Steve said, flipping his phone around to show Bucky the picture. Bucky leaned forward a bit, but Steve could tell that Bucky didn’t seem that into it. Well then. Steve quickly pulled his phone back.

“Are you gonna date him?” Steve looked up and saw that Bucky wasn’t even looking at him. He was looking at the floor like he was trying to memorize the pattern in the carpet.

“Probably not.” Steve said with a shrug. He looked up and saw that Bucky was looking at him now. “What?” Steve couldn’t quite decipher the look. It was a mixture of surprise and confusion, and possibly something else.

“Just. It seemed like you two hit it off and I dunno, I thought you would be giving it a try.” Steve laughed.

“I talked to the guy, didn’t I? And well, yeah, I like him. He’s attractive and everything and nice, and smart. But I’m not really looking for a relationship at the moment. But like who knows what will happen. But as of right now, I’m just looking for friendship.” Bucky just nodded.

Time to change the subject. He didn’t know what Bucky had against Chase, but it must have been something since he turned into full sulking mode.

“So, you think this looks alright?” Bucky snapped out of whatever sulky mood he was in and smiled.

“You’re damn right it looks alright. It is amazing Steve. I don’t know how you do it.”

“Glad you like it.” Steve felt his phone vibrate in his hand but he ignored it, giving Bucky his full attention.

“Tell ya what. Let’s go celebrate.”

“What?” Bucky stepped forward and wrapped his arm around Steve’s shoulder.

“Let’s go get a drink. I’m buying.”

“Buck…”

“Come on. One drink ain’t gonna kill ya.” Steve let out a small sigh.

“Alright. Just let me clean everything up.”

“Alright. Be back in a bit.” Bucky gave him one last smile before leaving the room. Steve just smiled as he started putting all his things away.

The text from Chase completely forgotten.

* * *

Steve and Bucky ended up in some small bar right on the outside of town. Steve had never even heard of this place before, but Bucky must frequent this bar often considering the fact he said hello to pretty much every single patron in the bar. Steve just let Bucky say his hellos as he made his way to the bar.

No point in looking even more awkward than he already felt.

He found a spot off to the side and waited until the bartender walked over to him. It was a small tiny woman with a flapper inspired haircut who looked like she didn’t take any shit from anyone. She glanced over at him and gave him a small smile before slowly making her way over to him. She walked with the same confidence that Peggy did. Steve felt a tiny bit of jealousy of that confidence.

“What can I get ya handsome?” Steve smiled as he looked over at the cooler behind her.

“Um, well…”

“You have to try their blueberry beer. It is the shit.” Bucky said, coming up to take the vacant seat on the other side of Steve. The woman glanced over at Bucky and smiled.

“James. It’s been a while.” The bartender said. Bucky just laughed.

“Yeah. Give us too blues will ya Alice and put it on my tab.”

“Sure thing honey.” Alice replied and walked back to the cooler.

“You come here a lot?” Steve asked as Alice dropped two beers in front of them.

“Yeah. Natasha actually introduced me to this place back in college. It’s just a nice little place to relax and talk to people. Forget about all your troubles.”

“So you and Connie come here a lot then?” Steve asked. Bucky just laughed.

“Hell no. Connie hates it here. She likes the fancier places. I have dragged her here a few times but she is usually in her own little world so it isn’t really worth it half the time.”

“I’m sorry.”

“No worries. Clint and Bruce and the others all come here sometimes so it makes up for it. And now I have you to bring here as well.” Steve just nodded as he took a sip of his beer. It was good. The blueberry taste wasn’t too overpowering and it still had the distinct taste that beer had.

“This is good.”

“Isn’t it? I didn’t think I would like it, but it’s damn good.” Steve just smiled.

“So, things are going well with Connie then?” Steve asked and really, he knew he shouldn’t bring her up, but what else would two guys talk about at a bar if it wasn’t their significant other? And if Bucky teased him about it, Steve would blame it on his lack of sleep.

“Yeah. It is a lot better now. There are still problems, y’know? But we are getting through it.” “That’ good.” Steve responded with his best smile.

“I’m glad.” Bucky didn’t say anything as he took another sip from his beer.

“What were you and Connie talking about at Nat’s?” Of course Bucky would want to know that. Steve just smiled as he looked down at the countertop. Of course Bucky would ask about that.

“I just merely asked why she seemed to hate me so much.”

“What? Steve, Connie doesn’t hate you.”

“You’re joking right? Come on Buck, she glares at me every single time I walk into the room with her.”

“She just…” Steve looked at him, raising an eyebrow, daring him to counteract what he just said. “Alright, she isn’t all that fond of you.”

“You got that right.”

“So, what reason did she tell you?” Bucky asked.

“Did she give you a reason?”

“She just thinks I spend too much time with you and not with her. Is that what she told you?”

“Pretty much.” Steve replied, taking another sip. He didn’t want to tell him that Connie was worried that Steve was going to steal him away from her. That might expose Steve’s feelings for Bucky to Bucky and yeah, that wasn’t going to happen right now. In this bar, of all places.

Although, give Steve more alcohol and it just might happen, since he was tired. His mind was sure to turn on him sooner or later.

“She’s just weird about things like that. I think I have told you before, but she hates Natasha because we used to date. She just ignores the fact that Natasha is clearly with Clint now and just…I don’t know. No matter what I say, she doesn’t hear it or listen.”

“I had that problem with Brock and Peggy. But it was worse because Peggy hasn’t really dated anyone so, yeah, he thought me and Peggy were secretly hooking up behind his back. Like he had room to talk. He was screwing other people behind my back.”

“Bastard.” Bucky mumbled into his beer. He made a quick motion for Alice to bring them another round and jesus, Steve hadn’t even realized he had drank his already. “But you know, not that I am siding with that asshole, but I can see why he would think that.”

“What do you mean?”

“You and Peggy are close. I thought you two were dating when I first saw you two together. You two walked into the club, she was on your arm and you two looked like you were made for each other.”

“Really?” “Yeah, I mean, it’s obvious you two care about each other. Anyone would be jealous of that.” Steve looked over at Bucky and well, the way Bucky had said it, it made it seem like he had been jealous of Steve and Peggy.

“Well, there may have been a time where I thought that Peggy was the one for me and all that. But that time has come and gone. Peggy is just my friend. That’s all we will ever be.” Bucky just nodded.

Steve felt like Bucky didn’t fully believe him on that, but there was nothing he could really do about that. He just took his beer and took a rather long sip. Tonight was going to be a long night.

* * *

Bucky seemed to be set on celebrating because it was close to midnight and they were still going strong. There was a small group around them now. Bucky doing most of the talking, but Steve did his part and contributed to the conversation when it was needed.

Alcohol helped a lot with that. Steve got a lot more confident when he had alcohol in him. Which usually led to trouble.

Like now, for instance.

Steve had been laughing at a story Bucky was telling when he heard it. He glanced over and saw a smaller guy (he reminded Steve a lot of what he was like when he was younger) standing up for a girl that seemed to be getting pestered by some other patron in the bar.

Steve wasn’t going to intervene. He knew the guy would like to handle it on his own. Steve had been there, done that. And he was going to let the little guy handle it, but then he glanced over again and saw that the poor guy was about to take a beating and well, Steve would not stand back and let him do that alone.

“Hey!” Steve shouted, making his way over to them. He heard Bucky and his friends grow quiet but he didn’t care. His mind was on this track and he was on it till the very end. The bigger man turned around and wow, he was actually a tad bit bigger than Steve. No problem. Steve could handle this.

“This doesn’t concern you, you little piss ant.” Piss ant? What kind of insult was that?

“Look, why don’t you just leave those two alone, okay?” The man just looked down at Steve like Steve was speaking a different language.

“Hmmm, let me think about that. Um, how about no.” He then shoved Steve back a few steps and oh, that made Steve see red. No one shoved him.

“Look, I’m trying to be nice here. Let them go and why don’t you go outside and take a little breather.” Steve really didn’t want to fight in this bar. He knew it was coming, but he still didn’t want to. He was going to play nice. At least try to.

Steve then looked over to the other guy, who was holding the girl’s hand with a death grip. “Why don’t you two…” Steve didn’t get to finish because the other guy punched him square in the jaw. Steve fell back a few steps and he vaguely heard something that sounded like his name but he didn’t care. Not right now.

He wiped his hand over his mouth and well, there was a hint of blood, but he didn’t care. He let out a small smile as he stepped forward. It had been a while and adrenaline was rushing through him right now.

This was going to be fun.

“I was kinda hoping you would do that.” Steve replied and the man just gave him a weird look before Steve ran forward and tackled the guy into the ground.

Steve lost track of what happened next. He remembered getting one hit in and then the man must have hit him back or something, because his ribs hurt like a sonuvabitch. But he saw that the other man was holding his sides as well.

Hmmm. Well, at least Steve got some hits in. That made it all worth it.

But someone was now holding him back as a few others took the guy and pulled him away. Steve couldn’t see where the guy he had been defending went, but he didn’t care right now because he was slowly being pulled outside the bar.

It was like once they left the bar, all the noise and everything came storming right back into his ear.

“Steve man, you okay?” Steve looked over and saw that it was Bucky that had been pulling him away. Bucky had a death grip on Steve’s shoulders as he walked them back to Bucky’s car.

“Yeah. ‘m fine.”

“You sure? You took quite a few hits there.” Steve just laughed.

“I had him on the ropes. I’m not completely helpless.”

“No you’re not.” Bucky replied and Steve looked over at him. Bucky had a small smile on his face. Well, at least he wasn’t mad at Steve. Every time Steve got into fights around Peggy, or hell, even Brock, Steve had been moved to couch status.

Although, to be fair, Steve had warned Bucky about this before. So Bucky shouldn’t be at all, surprised.

Bucky stepped up to his car and opened the passenger door for Steve.

“Just let me know next time you plan on kicking some guy’s ass. I could lend a hand.” Steve just beamed at him as he fell into the seat. Of course, that smile faded quickly when his head started spinning a bit.

Damn, his head hurt.

Bucky just shut the door gently (how very considerate, Steve would have to remember to thank him for it) and made his way over to the driver’s side. Steve remained silent as Bucky started heading towards Steve’s apartment.

“I’m sorry.” Steve said finally.

“Don’t apologize, Steve. That guy was being a total ass. He deserved it.”

“But I ruined the night. You’re not gonna want to take me there ever again.”

“Steve, you didn’t ruin the night.” Bucky replied with a smile. “You made it a hell of a lot more interesting, although, like I said, I wish you would have told me what you were doing, maybe then I could have helped and you wouldn’t have gotten your face beat in.” Steve laughed and let out a small wince when a sharp pain from his jaw jolted through his body. “Are you alright?”

“My jaw hurts like a bitch but other than that…”

“And your ribs?” Steve placed a hand against his ribs and let out a small wince.

“Oh, they hurt too.”

“Well, we are almost to your apartment so we will get you all fixed up.” Steve just smiled.

“Can’t wait!” Steve replied as he leaned back in the seat. Bucky just laughed as he pulled up to Steve’s apartment. Steve stepped out of the car and yeah, he was definitely feeling it now. Bucky walked over and helped him into the apartment.

Of course Sam was there. Sam looked over at them and wait, was he watching Gilligan’s Island? Steve was going to remember that. He and Sam were going to have words when Steve was completely sober because what the hell? Steve had wanted Sam to watch that with him for years now.

“Steve? What the hell happened to you?” Steve just laughed as he fell back onto the couch wincing a bit at the pain in his sides.

“Oh you know, the usual, just ran into a guys’ fist.” Sam just let out a small sigh as he made his way to the bathroom, most likely to get the ‘Steve Kit’, as Sam now called their first aid kit.

“Here.” Bucky sat down next to him and pushed an ice pack against Steve’s jaw.

“Thanks.” Steve reached up to grab the bag and tried not to revel in the small touch of his and Bucky’s hands.

“So, what happened this time?” Sam asked as he knelt down in front of Steve and opened the first aid kit. Steve didn’t think they would need it, but judging from what Sam was pulling out, Steve must have a cut somewhere.

“Some assface was picking on someone smaller than him.” Steve responded as Sam wiped away some blood from Steve’s forehead.

“Of course. And your dumb ass just had to intervene.” Steve didn’t say anything for a while as he let Sam work. Instead, he put his attention on the TV. Apparently, in this episode, they had somehow built a robot or something and were trying to get it to get help for them.

“I can’t believe you are watching Gilligan’s island. I spent years trying to get you to watch and you watch it without me.” Steve mumbled. Bucky let out a small laugh as Sam jut groaned.

“Well, I was bored.”

“Sure.” Steve said, giving Sam a look that Sam didn’t even get to see because he was too busy examining Steve’s ribs.

“You know.” Bucky said, looking straight at the TV. “I always wondered, how in the hell can they build a robot and not fix their ship? Like, are they all dumbasses or something?” Steve may have snorted, but he wasn’t alone because Sam did too.

“Then it wouldn’t have been a series.” Steve responded, looking over at Bucky with a smile.

“True.” Bucky replied as he leaned back against the couch. Steve was about to say something else when Bucky spotted something and stood off the couch and approached the entertainment center. “What is this?”

“What is what?” Steve asked as Sam packed up the first aid kit and carried it off to the bathroom again.

“This?” Bucky lifted up a dvd and Steve almost gaped.

“That is Rocky Horror. Please tell me you are joking.”

“Oh. Natasha has mentioned this movie but I haven’t seen it.”

“Are you shittin’ me?” Sam said as he stormed back into the room. “That is one of Steve’s favorites. I mean, back in college, Steve used to go to every showing as Rocky and act it out. It was amazing.”

“Really now? Are there pictures?” Bucky asked, suddenly a little bit more interested in the topic.

“If there are, there is no way in hell we are showing them now.” Steve replied, aiming a daring glare at Sam. Sam just smiled.

“Oh, you don’t want Bucky to see you in that gold speedo?” Steve looked over at Sam and flipped him off as he limped over to Bucky and grabbed the dvd.

“Gold speedo eh?” Bucky asked, looking up at Steve with that shit eating grin of his. “I might just need to see that.” Steve just laughed as he popped the dvd in. “Oh we watching it now?”

“You bet your ass we are.” Steve replied, making his way back to the couch. “I can’t let you go another minute without seeing this movie.” Bucky just laughed as he sat down next to Steve. Steve couldn’t help but smile that Bucky sat next to him instead of on the chair. He didn’t even leave any space between them, he just plopped right on down next to Steve.

This was probably going down as one of his new favorite Bucky moments.

“I found one!” Sam said, walking over and practically throwing his phone in Bucky’s face. “It’s of Steve and Peggy, she went as Janet and they are both in full costume here.” Steve let out a small groan as Bucky laughed before grabbing the phone.

“Oh. Wow.” Bucky said and Steve looked over and he could have swore Bucky was blushing. Steve looked over to see what picture Sam had shown him. Steve have to give Sam some props, it was a good one. Peggy looked amazing in her Janet costume that consisted of her in her undergarments while Steve was in nothing but that gold speedo. “You look…”

“Horrible, I know.” Steve said as he grabbed the phone and threw it back at Sam.

“Not exactly the word I would use.” Bucky said over a cough.

“And what word would you use?” Sam asked, taking a seat on the chair as the movie started up.

“I was gonna say sexy as hell.” Steve had to look away because Bucky just called him sexy. Bucky thought he was sexy! “I bet all the girls and guys wanted to go home with you that night.” Steve just laughed.

“I don’t know. Peggy was the only girl for me that night.” Bucky just smiled as he looked back at the tv screen.

“So, explain this movie to me.” Steve just laughed as he started going into explaining exactly what The Rocky Horror Picture Show was all about.

* * *

“Okay, but you are seriously gonna have to take me to a showing of that sometime. I need to experience that first hand.”

“Oh really?” Steve responded as he leaned against the door frame. It was starting to hit him just how tired he was. He was going to sleep like the dead tonight. Bucky was halfway out the door and god, Steve was probably flirting with Bucky but right now, he didn’t care. He was in too good of a mood. And tired. And still a little drunk. Not at all a good combination.

But it wasn’t all his fault. Bucky had given Steve some motivation himself.

During the movie, Bucky had actually moved closer to him, and they were like, one step away from actually cuddling. It had been _amazing_. Of course Steve knew it was nothing, but hey, it was the little things right. Everything from hours earlier forgotten. His jaw didn’t hurt anymore or anything.

“Yes really.” Bucky replied, turning around and smiling up at Steve. “I bet you have some awesome dance moves. And don’t even get me started on that speedo.”

“Well, if I learn of any showings, you will be the first to know.”

“Good.” Steve just smiled.

“You okay to drive home?” Steve asked.

“Yeah. I drove your drunk ass here, didn’t I? How are you? Are your ribs alright?” Bucky asked, instinctively reaching forward and pressing his hand against Steve’s ribs. Steve let out a small wince.

“Ribs still hurt a bit.” Steve answered. Bucky nodded and reached up and gripped his jaw lightly.

“And here?”

“Not too much, but now that you are touching it, yes, it does hurt.” Bucky laughed and finally reached up and ran his fingers over the cut on his head.

“And this?”

“Nope.”

“Good.” Bucky pulled his fingers away and took a step back. “I will talk to you later, Stevie.”

“Goodnight Bucky.”

“Goodnight Steve.” Bucky responded quietly as he turned and made his way down the hallway. Steve watched him for a few seconds before he shut the door. When he turned around he found Sam leaning against the couch, looking at him. “What?”

“That was absolutely disgusting, I almost threw up in my mouth.”

“What?” Steve asked, taking a step forward. What was Sam going on about now?

“You two. It’s absolutely ridiculous. I mean, god, can he just leave Connie for you yet?”

“What are you talking about?” Sam just rolled his eyes.

“You and Bucky. Just…never mind.” Sam straightened up and started walking towards his room.

“Sam, wait!” Steve said as he walked after him. “What are you talking about?”

“I’m talking about the fact how much you and Bucky act like a couple. It’s kind of weird.”

“Weird?”

“I don’t know if he doesn’t see it or what, but I saw it. And I’m sure everyone else can see it too. Probably even Connie, if she is hating on you. But maybe I am seeing things.”

“Maybe you are seeing things because Bucky and I are just friends.” Sam just laughed.

“Whatever you say man.” Steve let him go, not wanting to get into an argument about this. Sure Steve liked to revel in the small things about Bucky and their ‘relationship.’ But Sam never said anything like this before. He and Peggy had seemed alright with this and now, now Sam was acting weird.

Sam and Peggy seemed to be alright with Steve wearing his emotions on his sleeve, but Sam was making it seem like Bucky maybe shared the same feelings.

But that was impossible.

Bucky didn’t like him like that. Otherwise Steve was sure he wouldn’t have fought so hard in the whole thing with Connie. Or you know, Bucky would actually make a move on him if he liked him like that. But that wasn’t the case.

Sam was just seeing things. That’s all there is to it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know what you guys think! I had watched both Rocky Horror and Gilligan's Island while writing this, thus why they are included in the story. :D
> 
> Next chapter! Becca comes back! :)


	16. (60.)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys, so....I had completely been planning on uploading this chapter so much sooner, but then my computer ran out of memory or something like that, and I was without a computer for a week. But I got the chapter finished and here it is!
> 
> Once again, thanks to everyone who has commented, left kudos, subscribed and read this story. It means so much to me that you guys are enjoying the story! So, thanks again. You are all just wonderful!

The mural was officially finished and well, Steve had to admit, it turned out a lot better than he had been expecting. He was expecting to absolutely hate it. But he actually really liked how it had turned out. Steve took a step back to admire his work.

He hadn’t been able to work on the mural much after the night at the bar. But he had come in early today and well, now it was done. It was finally done. Steve pulled out his phone and took a quick picture of it and sent it off to Sam, Peggy and even Chase.

After that had been done, Steve slowly started picking up all of his things and set them off into a little corner before heading out to the lobby. He would collect all of those later.

Bucky was sitting on the floor of the waiting room with a bunch of different fabrics, trying to work on putting them over all of those ugly chairs. Steve had heard Bucky’s frustrations over it from the mural room.

The lady Bucky was going to have do the fabrics suddenly canceled on him because she was moving out of state. So Bucky was stuck doing them himself, which made Bucky not a very happy camper. Steve had heard the phone call, and let’s just say, Bucky had quite the colorful language when he was frustrated.

Steve looked over at Bucky and well, Bucky just looked too adorable at the moment. He was sitting on the floor in his work slacks and undershirt (his button up folded up nicely on the chair behind him), his hair was pulled back and right now he had his tongue sticking out as he concentrated on attaching the piece of fabric to the chair. Steve just walked over to the front desk as quietly as he could as he watched Bucky.

God, he was so screwed.

Steve knew he had that thought a lot, but he couldn’t help it. Bucky was so amazing. It was like he was perfect in Steve’s eyes, and well, maybe that’s because he was. But still. Steve didn’t know how much longer he would be able to do this. How much longer would he be able to handle this before it fully got to him?

Sam may have been seeing things wrong on Bucky’s side, but Steve knew that he himself must have been so obvious about his feelings now. Even Connie had noticed. And that’s really bad when the girlfriend of the guy you are crushing on figures it all out.

But if Bucky had noticed anything, well, he didn’t mention it. Something Steve was quite thankful for. He was in no way ready for that conversation.

“Bucky!” Steve about jumped right out of his skin when the front door slammed open. Bucky must have too, judging from the string of curses that erupted from his mouth. Steve looked over to the door and well, Steve had no idea who it would be, but he wasn’t expecting to see Becca Barnes standing there.

“God dammit, Becca!” Bucky shouted, standing up and trying to give her his best glare. Something he failed miserably at. “Can’t you make a normal entrance like everyone else?” Becca just smiled and walked over to him, pulling Bucky into a quick hug.

“And miss the chance to scare the shit out of you? I don’t think so.” Becca then turned around and her attention was all on Steve.

Oh this was going to be interesting.

“Why hello Steve!” Becca said, making her way over to him. Steve had talked with Becca a few times since their ‘wonderful’ lunch together. She friended him on facebook, and occasionally liked his posts.

She had even messaged him apologizing again for how she had acted that day. Steve had forgiven her for it, not that there was anything to really forgive. But it made her happy when he had said it. Steve thought Bucky was more the one that needed to forgive her, if forgiveness was even needed between the two siblings.

But whatever. It was all in the past now.

“Becca.” Steve said with a smile.

“Oh, you have to see this video. It is absolutely hilarious. It’s all these cats trying to jump and failing miserably.” Becca said, pulling out her phone. Steve just laughed. That was another thing. Becca sent him a million videos on facebook. Usually they had to do with some sort of animal or something. The last video she had sent him was of a hippo learning to swim.

“Why don’t you just send it to me, like usual?” Steve said. Becca was about to respond when Bucky interrupted.

“Wait a minute.” Bucky said, walking over to them. “You two have spoken to each other recently?”

“Duh.” Becca replied. “Steve and I are best buddies now.” Bucky’s jaw actually dropped open as he looked over at Steve.

“Is she being serious?”

“We are the best of facebook friends.” Steve responded, a small smile coming to his lips.

“If you had facebook Bucky, then you would’ve know.” Becca responded. Bucky just rolled his eyes.

“Why are you even here?” Bucky responded. Steve couldn’t help but love their relationship. Steve had always wished for a sibling. He hated being an only child. So he liked to live vicariously through other people and their relationships with their siblings.

“Can’t I come visit my favorite brother?”

“No.” Bucky responded as he turned his attention to Steve, completely ignoring Becca. “Did you finish the mural?”

“I did.” Steve responded and Bucky got the biggest smile on his face.

“Well, what are we waiting for? Let’s go look at it.” Bucky then took off towards the children’s room. Becca followed after him and Steve took up the rear. He hated seeing and hearing people’s reactions to his work. It just made his feel embarrassed and anxious at the same time.

He would rather people look at his work when he wasn’t around to see their reactions.

Steve waited patiently outside the door as Bucky and Becca walked in and examined his work. Steve felt his phone vibrate and looked down. He found that he had missed three text messages from Sam, Peggy and Chase.

_Holy shit dude. I always seem to forget just how amazing of an artist you are. Is Bucky throwing himself in your pants yet as payment? ;)_

Steve made a mental note to slap Sam the next time he saw him.

_Oh Steve, darling, amazing as always. What does Bucky think?_

Steve smiled and sent back responses to both Sam and Peggy. He took a deep breath before reading Chase’s response. He hadn’t shown any of his work to Chase yet. So, this was going to be new.

_Wow. I, well, I have no words right now. You are quite the artist Steve. I hope to see more of your work in the future._

Steve smiled down at his phone. Well, at least Chase seemed interested in his work.

“Who is that?” Steve jumped when Becca suddenly appeared right next to him.

“Oh. Nobody.” Becca just raised an eyebrow and god, she looked so much like Bucky.

“Oh really?”

“Steve.” Thank god for that distraction because Steve was not ready to explain Chase to her yet. Who knows where that conversation would lead to?

“Yeah?”

“Come in here.” Steve slid past Becca and into the room. Bucky was standing in the middle of the room with the biggest smile on his face.

“What is it?” Steve asked.

“Steve, this is just amazing!” Bucky said, reaching over to pull Steve closer to him. Steve was not going to make a big deal about the fact that Bucky’s hand was still on his arm. “I know I have seen this all during the whole process, but seeing the final product. I just, I can’t even tell you how amazing all of this is.” Steve knew he was blushing.

“Thanks.”

“I just, the kids are gonna love it. I can’t wait till they see it. You know,” Bucky said, turning his attention completely to Steve. “I was thinking, maybe I can buy some of Parker’s books and stuff, have them on racks in here. I think they would like them too.”

“You might as well just dedicate this room to Steve then. Hang up some of his drawings and everything. Maybe even call it Steve’s room?” Becca said, walking into the room. Steve looked over and saw that she was smirking from ear to ear.

“Shut up.” Bucky responded and god, Steve felt like his face was on fire. “But Steve, would that be alright? If I got some of the books you illustrated for in here as well?”

“It doesn’t matter to me. This is your place, Buck. I can maybe even see if Peter would donate some or something?”

“Really? Steve, that would be amazing!” Steve just smiled as he glanced around the room. “I just, it’s not too much?”

“No. It’s fine Buck.” Bucky just smiled at him and Steve felt his heart do a back-flip.

“Alright, well, now that we have that settled, can we go eat? I am so fuckin’ hungry I could eat a horse. Marty’s is open and I’m buying.” Becca said as she walked out of the room. Bucky looked over at Steve.

“You in?”

“Sure. As long as Becca’s buying, how can I refuse free food?” Bucky just laughed as he wrapped his arm around Steve’s shoulder and pulled him out of the room.

* * *

Well, the lunch at Marty’s went along a little bit better than the last one. Which, well, wasn’t really saying much. Anything could be better than the last time these three had lunch together.

Darcy was there, as usual (seriously though, did she ever have a day off?), and she hounded on both Bucky and Steve for not coming in for so long. And really, it hadn’t been that long, has it?

But when the lunch crowd died down, Darcy came over, pulled up a chair and chatted with them for a bit.

Apparently Darcy knew Jane Foster, something that Steve felt a little upset that he didn’t know sooner. Thor and Jane knew Natasha and Sam and well, Steve could have met Bucky so much sooner if he would have known that.

Possibly.

Whatever. He wouldn’t hold a grudge.

“So, Steve, you still single?” Becca asked, shit eating grin back on her face. Darcy took that as her cue to leave and visit with her other customers.

“Yes.” Steve responded. So much for the lunch going better than before.

“But he is talking to someone.” Bucky added in, and well, it wasn’t said in the friendliest of tones, especially coming from Bucky. Steve didn’t think he had ever heard Bucky sound like that before. And Becca caught on as well.

“Oh, does the Buckster not approve?” Becca joked and well, Steve didn’t know what to say to that as Bucky just looked down at his food.

“I have nothing against the guy. Just stating a fact, ‘s all. Steve is talking to a guy he met at Natasha’s party.” Bucky still had that tone in his voice and Steve just wanted more than anything to make it go away. Bucky was never like this. At least, not around Steve.

He had seemed more than okay with it at Natasha’s party. What the hell was his problem?

“I see.” Becca said, turning her smile back at Steve, but Steve didn’t really notice, he was too busy looking at Bucky, trying to figure this all out. “So, spill the details.”

“Um, well.” Steve said, taking a deep breath and turning his attention back to Becca. “His name is Chase, and he works for Tony Stark and I well, I don’t know. He is handsome and nice. And smart. And he’s fun to talk to. I feel like I don’t have to try so hard to be perfect with him. I can just be myself.”

“Well he sounds like a winner. Why aren’t you dating him then?”

“Jesus Becca.” Bucky said, giving a small glare in her direction. “Can we just eat without talking about our personal lives for once?”

“For once, Bucky, we aren’t bringing up your disastrous relationship with Connie, so let Steve talk about someone he likes for once. Lord knows that by your tone that you never really talk about it with Steve.”

Now Steve felt awkward. Why must he always have to deal with this? Why? Can’t they just eat lunch in peace or something? Steve needed to salvage this otherwise it would turn into world war three between the Barnes siblings.

“There’s actually nothing else to really talk about. I text Chase from time to time, but that’s it. Nothing more to say really. Anything new with you, Becca?”

“Oh, not really, I…” She trailed off as her phone went off. “Oh, excuse me.” Becca grabbed her phone and went off outside.

Which left Steve alone with Bucky. Something he didn’t want at the moment. Something he didn’t need at the moment.

Bucky looked like he was avoiding him as well. Great. Just great.

“Do you have something against Chase?” Steve spit out against his better judgment. Oh well. Might as well get this all over with now. If Bucky had something against Chase, Steve deserved to know. If there was something Steve didn’t see about Chase, he would end things now. He had been blind about Brock for the longest time. He wasn’t going to do that again.

“No. Of course not. I don’t even know the man.” Steve almost laughed at the familiarity of those words. He had said those exact same ones about Connie.

“You seem upset that I’m talking to him.”

“I’m not.” Bucky said with a long sigh. “I just…I just want you to be happy, Steve. If Chase makes you happy…”

“I’m not dating Chase, Bucky. We are just talking. But if I were dating him, would you approve of him?” Bucky looked over at him and Steve couldn’t really read his face. “Yes Steve, I would.” Bucky replied, a small smile on his face.

“You approve of Connie, might as well return the favor.” That was not the answer Steve wanted but he was sure that was all he was going to get from Bucky at the moment. Steve leaned back and let out a deep breath, running a hand across his face.

Steve was about to say something when Becca walked back in.

“Sorry about that. Mom just had a quick question.” Her smile fell when she saw that Steve and Bucky were now sitting as far from each other as they possibly could. “Did I miss something?” She asked.

“No. Of course not.” Bucky replied with a smile. “Was mom alright?”

“Yeah. She wants us both for dinner sometime soon.” Bucky just nodded as Darcy came back over.

“Alright, here is the check. Now, don’t be shy about coming in again, you hear me?” Steve just nodded as he reached for the check.

“Hey!” Becca said, swatting his hand away. “I said I was paying, remember.” Steve slowly drew his hand back as Becca smiled and made her way to the front. Bucky didn’t say anything as he stood up and left.

Of course.

Steve stood up and followed him out. He was going to get down to the bottom of this.

“Bucky…”

Bucky was already lighting up a cigarette and heading into the alley. Well, this was all familiar.

“I’m sorry Steve. I, well…”

“Yes?”

“I don’t have a problem with Chase. If you ever want to date him, then, by all means, date him. He is a great guy. You deserve to be happy.”

“Thanks. But, like I told you and everyone else, I don’t want to date Chase.”

“Because there is someone else?” Bucky took a long drag of his cigarette and Steve had never wanted to be a cigarette more in his life.

“I’ve told you before that there is.”

“Yeah, but you never told me who it is. Is it a guy or a girl?” Bucky’s mood seemed to lift in just seconds.

“Does it really matter?” Steve asked, leaning against the wall.

“I guess it doesn’t, but, knowing who this person is will help me out when setting you two up.” Steve let out a little laugh. Oh Bucky, if only he knew.

“It really is no big deal. I’m never gonna be with him so…”

“Ah ha!” Bucky said, poking Steve in the arm. “It’s a guy. So, do I know him?” Steve just smiled as he looked over at the door once Becca walked out. “Steve…” Becca walked over to him.

“What are you two losers doing?” Becca said as she stopped in front of them. Bucky just laughed as he huddled in close to Steve, his hand going over Steve’s shoulder again and god, Steve needed to remain cool.

But his face must have done something because Becca just raised an eyebrow at him before looking at Bucky.

“Steve here has the hots for some guy and I’m just trying to find out who it is so I can set them up.” Bucky whispered and Steve had to really suppress a chill because Bucky was talking right into his ear.

Steve had to conceal all thoughts that involved Bucky whispering in his ear. He didn’t need anything else awkward to happen.

“Oh, does he now?” Becca replied with a smirk. “Tell us Steve, who is this mystery man?” Steve wanted to die. He wanted to sidewalk to give way and let him fall into the earth because this was just ridiculous.

First off, Becca knew good and well who the ‘mysterious’ man was. She had messaged Steve nonstop after their first lunch and had come out with it that she knew Steve liked Bucky. That she could tell from their lunch together. And with her apology came that she was just trying to help him along with trying to ask out Bucky.

Again, it seemed that everyone seems to forget that Bucky was in a relationship.

But the more he talked about it with other people, like Becca, Sam, Peggy, and hell, even Natasha sometimes, he couldn’t help but think what would happen if he did just confess his feelings to Bucky. Get it all out in the open. And if Bucky rejected him, then that was that.

Steve would finally move on and be able to maybe give Chase a chance.

“Steve?” Steve looked over and saw that both Bucky and Becca were giving him strange looks and right, he must have been lost in his head for a bit.

“What? Sorry.” Bucky just laughed and Becca just smiled.

“So, is mystery guy the reason you aren’t dating Chase right now?”

“Well, yeah…I mean.” Steve took a deep breath. “I want to tell him how I feel. I do. It’s just, I don’t want to be rejected. But I can’t date Chase knowing that my heart lies somewhere else. I just can’t do that to him. It wouldn’t be right.” Steve looked up and found that Becca and Bucky were just looking at him again. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to ramble.”

“Oh, you weren’t really rambling. I was just thinking that the person who gets you will be the luckiest in the world.” Becca replied with a smile as she walked up to him and pulled him into a hug.

When she pulled away, she gave him a quick kiss on the cheek before making her goodbyes to Bucky and then she was off, just as quickly as she had come that day.

* * *

The drive back to the clinic was a quiet one, but it was a nice quiet. But Steve had something to talk to Bucky about, now that the mural was done. He had the canvases that Bucky had also commissioned. He had put them aside while he worked on the mural.

They pulled up to the clinic and made their way back inside.

“So, since the mural was done, I was thinking of starting to work on the canvases.”

“Oh, right.” Bucky said as he unlocked the door and walked inside. “I sort of forgot about those.” Bucky said with a little laugh.

“Well, I’m gonna need more photograph references so I was thinking of taking a small roadtrip next weekend to get some photographs from random places.”

“That sounds nice. Hey, wait!” Bucky said, turning around suddenly. “Next weekend?”

“Yeah…Is that a problem?”

“No. Like, Connie is gonna be out of town visiting family that weekend. I can come along with you, if that is alright? You know, to see if anything pops out at me.” Steve just smiled. This probably wasn’t going to be a good idea, but hell, how could he reject Bucky when he was smiling up at him like that.

“That sounds great! Sam is letting me borrow his truck so I will be able to drive.”

“Great!” Bucky replied. “This is gonna be great Steve.” Steve just smiled.

Oh, it was going to be great alright.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, so yeah, things are still angsty, but like, I love angst so I can't help it. 
> 
> And I feel bad for Becca still causing some trouble, but hey, she and Steve are like bffs now and she will make more appearances later.
> 
> Next chapter will be Steve and Bucky doing their little nature roadtrip! ;)


	17. (68.)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Whoa, look at this. I feel like this is a record on updating.
> 
> Thanks again to everyone who has read, commented, left kudos or subscribed. You are all wonderful and I love you all!

Steve pulled up to Bucky’s apartment and parked the truck. He took a deep breath before stepping out of the truck. He had never been to Bucky’s apartment before. This was unfamiliar territory and now he was scared shitless. He hadn’t really thought about it before but now, now that he was standing outside of Bucky’s apartment, it all seemed so daunting.

But he could do this. He could. He had let Bucky into his apartment tons of times. How was this going to be any different? He took another deep breath, coughing a bit as he took too much air and made his way up the stairs. Hopefully no one had just seen him coughing on air.

Bucky’s apartment was a lot nicer than Steve’s. Then again, Steve remembered when they had built Bucky’s apartment. It was a huge deal. Steve thought he remembered there being some sort of controversy but it was all a blur right now. But these apartments were supposed to be really nice and really expensive. But Bucky was a doctor, so he probably made enough that he could probably afford to live here.

Steve walked up the steps and stopped in front of Bucky’s apartment. _325_.

Maybe this was all a bad idea. Maybe he should just go back home and call Bucky, tell him that he wasn’t feeling well. But that would be backing out, and Steve wasn’t a quitter. He had committed to this and he was not going to back out now, not right now.

Being alone with Bucky in a truck for hours sounded so appealing at first, but now all these thoughts were swarming in his mind. It probably wouldn’t end well. He knew it wouldn’t end well, if Steve’s luck was anything to go by.

But no matter, Steve would deal with all of that later. He took one last deep breath and knocked on the door. He could do this.

“Shit!” He heard from inside. “Coming!” Steve took a step back as the door swung open. And well, there stood Bucky, slacks slung low around his hips, no shirt, and well, even his prosthetic was gone. Steve had to try very hard not to stare.

Steve had never seen Bucky without his prosthetic. Steve wasn’t even aware that it could come off at any time. Regardless of all that, it was quite a sight. The scars on his arm almost looked like they were meant to be there. Steve knew Bucky probably wasn’t very fond of them, since his prosthetic covered them up most of the time, but Steve had never seen something so beautiful. He wanted to touch them, to feel how strong Bucky was. But Steve felt like Bucky would think that was weird and he refrained from saying anything.

“Sorry man, overslept.” Bucky said, turning around and walking away from him. Steve tried not to stare too much at Bucky’s retreating form, but Steve was only a man, he had his weaknesses. And Bucky’s ass was probably one of his biggest ones.

“Oh, no problem at all.” Steve said, shutting the door behind him.

“Make yourself at home. I won’t be much longer.” Steve just nodded as he looked around. He didn’t want to be too nosey, but he was only human. Curiosity got the better of him as he looked around. Besides, Bucky had said to make himself at home.

The apartment was large, possibly just a tad bit larger than Steve and Sam’s. Steve could see little bits of Bucky everywhere. He saw his medical degree hanging up in the living room. There were medical books everywhere.

It made Steve smile seeing how Bucky lived. When Bucky would text Steve late at night or early in the morning, this was where he was. He could imagine Bucky sitting on the couch watching movies, or standing in the kitchen cooking a meal.

Steve looked over and saw a box sitting on the table. He wasn’t going to snoop too much, but it was open. He walked over and glanced inside and found that the box was full of the books he and Peter had worked on. Steve had wondered if Peter had gotten around donating the books.

He would have to remember to thank Peter later. He turned around and continued looking around.

As Steve looked around more, he saw more of Connie’s touches in the apartment than Bucky’s. She had little things set up all around the apartment. They were nice, but they just didn’t scream Bucky. Steve figured Bucky was the type to be a minimalist. He wouldn’t have much. Just enough to be home. But Connie had things everywhere. Little knick knacks and just, weird things that really made Steve question her tastes in decorations.

Steve walked over to the small mantle in the living room. There were picture frames all along it. Something Steve felt was more Connie’s thing than Bucky’s. But whatever. They were pictures and Steve loved looking at pictures.

There were countless pictures of Connie and her family and friends. Steve didn’t really care about those so he skimmed over those quickly. But there were some of Bucky, and Becca, and his family. He saw one of Bucky with his medical diploma and that made Steve smile. Bucky looked so happy and proud. It was quite a sight. Steve even saw some of Bucky with Natasha and Clint.

There was one though, in the middle, a collage of sorts, of Bucky and Connie. Steve could see most of the pictures were before the accident. Steve took a step closer and picked up the frame.

Bucky looked amazing, as always. As did Connie. They looked so happy and in love. Nothing like how they were today. But he could see it. He could see how happy they were and how things should have been.

Even though Bucky and Connie didn’t have that anymore, Steve was envious of it. He was envious of it because he knew that he would probably never get to experience that with Bucky.

He would never know that Bucky. He only knew Bucky after his accident. Not that it really mattered that much. But it made Steve want to know what Bucky was like back then. Would he still have fallen for that Bucky?

“Alright, I’m ready.” Steve smiled and set the picture frame down before turning around to face Bucky. And well, Steve couldn’t help but laugh.

Bucky was dressed up like he was going to work. He looked damn fine, but that was not what Bucky needed to be wearing today.

“What’s so funny?”

“Buck.” Steve said, taking a step forward. Steve had dressed in shorts and t-shirt, and he even had on his best tennis shoes. Of course, Steve had done this a million times so he knew what he needed to wear. But here Bucky was dressed like he was going to work. “We are going to be out in god knows where. And you decide to wear that?” Bucky let out a small sigh.

“Sorry. Jesus. I didn’t think we were actually going hiking.” Steve just laughed. “I’m not saying you have to change, but I’m not gonna listen to you complain the whole time about your feet hurting or if your clothes get dirty.”

“I’m changing, I’m changing.” Bucky muttered as he went back to his room, slamming the door shut. Steve just laughed as he sat down on the couch.

It wasn’t much later that Bucky came out of his room dressed much more appropriately in a park of shorts and a long sleeved shirt. He had even pulled his hair up. “Okay?” Bucky asked. Steve just smiled.

“Yep. Much better. Let’s go, shall we?”

* * *

The truck ride ended up being very eventful. More eventful than he was imagining. Steve had no idea where he was going. He just went on the road and started driving. Bucky didn’t seem to care.

He seemed more interested in Steve’s taste of music. Steve had brought along his i-pod and plugged it in for the drive.

“Seriously Steve? You have the most bizarre taste in music.” Steve just laughed. He always took that statement as a compliment. One day, when Steve had been cleaning the apartment, it took him hours because every time a different song came on, Sam would come out and start talking to Steve about how he has such the weirdest tastes in music.

“Whatever do you mean?” Steve said, keeping his eyes on the road. So far he hadn’t seen anything that really struck him as inspirational yet. And they’ve been driving for an hour already.

“Well, we start off with freaking Phantom of the Opera, and then it goes to Led Zeppelin to Fred Astaire and now ABBA?” Steve just laughed.

“What can I say?” Steve said, as he started singing along to Dancing Queen. Bucky just looked at him as if he had suddenly gone insane. But Steve knew it wouldn’t be long. ABBA had a way of getting anyone to sing. And just like he figured, it wasn’t long before Bucky was singing along as well. Steve just smiled as he glanced over at Bucky every so often, singing along.

_You are the dancing queen_   
_Young and sweet_   
_Only seventeen_   
_Dancing queen_   
_Feel the beat from the tambourine_

Steve looked over at Bucky as Bucky looked over at him and smiled as he sang the next lyric. “You can dance, you can die! Having the time of your…”

“Did you just say die?” Steve interrupting, trying very hard not to laugh. Bucky’s face fell.

“What?”

“You said die having the time of your life.”

“That’s what it says.” Bucky said, completely serious. Steve just laughed.

“No Buck. Jive. J-I-V-E.”

“What the fuck is jive?” Steve just laughed.

“It was disco Buck. Jiving was something they did.” Bucky just rolled his eyes. And Steve could tell he was pouting but whatever. Bucky looked over at him and well, he was smiling again, so all was well. Steve was about to go on to the next lyric when Bucky let out a loud gasp and pointed out the window.

“Over there Steve! Look!” Steve looked over and sure enough, there was a hiking trail. Steve immediately swerved into the parking lot. Bucky just laughed at Steve’s horrible attempt at parking.

“Oh it doesn’t matter. No one else is here.” Steve responded as he parked the car and hopped out.

“Whatever you say.” Bucky said as he just smiled at Steve. Steve looked down at his feet, trying to hide the blush on his cheeks from Bucky smiling at him so much. Steve didn’t think he remembered a time when Bucky smiled this much. Yeah, he would usually get an occasional smile from Bucky, but not every few minutes. “Come on Steve!” Steve looked up and found that Bucky was already on the trail. Steve just smiled and ran after him.

Steve pulled his camera out and started taking pictures. He mostly took pictures at this little creek they stopped at. Steve hated drawing water, but, the end result was always amazing and really, you couldn’t go wrong with water scenes. The trail was beautiful and it was covered with beautiful flowers of all sorts of colors. It was amazing. Bucky sure did have a good eye for spotting this place. Steve probably would have drove on passed it.

Steve may have also even taken a few pictures of Bucky, just because. You know, for reasons. Bucky didn’t have to see those pictures.

Steve and Bucky were walking along a small pond when something caught their attention. It was a mother and her son. The son was crying and he was holding his leg. Bucky immediately made his way over to them. Steve stopped and watched a bit before slowly making his way over.

As he got closer, he saw that Bucky seemed to know the family.

“Hey buddy, it’s Dr. Bucky. Remember me?” Bucky said as he knelt down next to him. The boy nodded through his tears and well, Steve had never seen Bucky interact with kids before. Sure Steve knew that it was part of Bucky’s job, but he had never seen it first hand before.

And Steve was beginning to know why he never wanted to.

Bucky interacting with children was going to be the death of him. Bucky was smiling constantly as he checked out the kid’s leg and the little boy had immediately stopped crying. Steve had always thought he was great with kids, but it was nothing compared to Bucky. Bucky wasn’t even doing anything different, he was just there. It was like kids knew they could trust him by just being around him.

Something clicked just then for Steve. Seeing Bucky talking with this little boy and his mother. He didn’t know what, but it was like Steve was hearing the Hallelujah chorus behind him.

Steve had never put a label on his feelings for Bucky. He knew he liked him, but that was all he ever really got labeling his feelings. He never wanted to. He knew it would only end up in trouble for him to actually put a name on it all.

But right now, looking at Bucky, it all made sense.

Bucky looked over at Steve and smiled. It was the kind of smile that was reserved for Steve and Steve only. He knew that. And Steve always did whatever he could to make Bucky smile like that.

But he knew right now, without a shadow of a doubt, that he was in love with James Buchannan Barnes.

And seeing Bucky smile at him like that, it made Steve feel confident that he could tell Bucky his feelings for him. And maybe, just maybe, Bucky would be okay with it. It was a long shot, but that smile. That smile made all the difference.

Steve snapped out of his thoughts when Bucky walked back over to him.

“You know them?” Steve asked. Bucky just smiled as he glanced back at the family before turning his attention back to Steve.

“Yeah. Susan and her son, Will. Will is a patient of mine.”

“What happened?”

“Oh, Will just tripped and twisted his ankle. He will be fine. He’s a tough little boy. He’ll make it.”

“You really are good with children. You will be an excellent father when the time comes.” Bucky just smiled.

“You know, regardless of my job, I really haven’t ever considered having children.”

“Really?” Steve was actually surprised by that. Considering the place Bucky had claimed to be with Connie before, he would have thought marriage and children would have been close on his mind.

“Yeah. I love kids, don’t get me wrong. They are amazing and I love being around them. But just, children really aren’t really high on my priority list at the moment.”

“Ah.” Bucky just nodded as they continued walking.

“And what about you?”

“What about what?” Steve asked, pulling his camera out and taking a few shots.

“Kids. Do you want to have kids someday?” Steve just laughed.

“I think I have already passed that stage in my life.”

“Oh come on. You could have kids at any age, Steve.”

“I meant.” Steve said, turning to face Bucky fully. “I think there was a time when I thought about getting married, and having kids…”

“With Peggy?” Steve just nodded.

“But that time has gone and passed, like you, it’s not my top priority anymore.” Bucky just nodded.

“And what about Chase?” Ah well, here it comes again.

“What about him?”

“Do you see yourself dating him?”

“Buck….we thought we discussed this already.”

“Just curious.” Bucky responded as they started walking again.

“I could date him. That much is certain. He is someone that, under different circumstances, I could see myself being happy with.”

“But?”

“But, like I have said before, it wouldn’t be fair to Chase because my heart isn’t in the right place.” Bucky didn’t say anything else as they continued on their walk. Steve felt like he had said too much, but maybe, just maybe, this would get Bucky to drop it. For good.

* * *

Steve and Bucky spent the rest of the afternoon visiting different parks and trails they found on their drive. They stopped for lunch at a small diner then continued on their way.

When it came close to evening, Steve and Bucky were just relaxing by a small pond by a park. It was beautiful. The sun was beginning to set and the colors surrounding them were perfect. Steve and Bucky were just chatting about random things when Bucky got a phone call.

“Hello?” Steve looked over and watched as Bucky’s face fell. “Oh, hey Connie.” Steve quickly stood up and took a few steps away to give Bucky and Connie some privacy, but, he could still hear what Bucky was saying. “No, just, you know, chilling at the apartment.” Steve almost laughed.

So Bucky didn’t tell Connie that he was hanging out with Steve this weekend. Interesting. Steve didn’t know to be upset over this of amused. He would go with being amused because Connie wanted him to stay away from Bucky, so, haha. Fuck you Connie.

“Yeah. It actually looks like it’s gonna storm, so that will be fun.” Steve glanced up and sure enough, there were storm clouds coming in. Hmmm, where had those come from? They would have to get on the move on soon, so they didn’t get rained on. “Yeah. Mmhhmm. How is the family?” Bucky looked over at Steve and gave him a small smile before looking back at the little pond. “Well give them all my regards and I will see you tomorrow night. Love you too.” Bucky hung up the phone and let out a small sigh.

“So Connie doesn’t know about this?”

“No.” Bucky responded as he stood up. “She would just bitch about it and I didn’t feel like having that weigh me down on our trip, so no, I didn’t tell her.” That all just screamed bad to Steve, but he didn’t really have a say in that. Bucky was old enough to make his own decisions.

“Where is Connie?”

“She’s in Tennessee. I think. Memphis? I don’t really know.” Bucky replied with a shrug. “But the clouds do look a little intense. We should probably head back to the truck.” Steve nodded as they made their way back the truck.

And right when the truck came into the view, the sky turned black and it started pouring.

“Shit!” Bucky shouted as they ran to the truck. Both of them lunged into the truck and let out a deep sigh. Steve looked over at Bucky and laughed. Bucky looked like drowned rat. Bucky just laughed as well, commenting that Steve was quite the sight as well. Steve turned on the truck, letting the heat warm them up as the rain poured down on the truck.

“It’s gonna be a fun drive home.” Steve said as he started out on the road. They were a good five hours away. And if it rained like this the whole time, it would be longer than that, due to traffic.

“We’ll make it.” Bucky responded, flipping through the radio stations. When he stopped on one Steve almost let out a loud sigh. Mr. Brightside. No. Just, no. Steve immediately reached forward and switched the station. “What? Come on Steve, everyone loves that song.”

“Yeah, me too, but not right now.”

“Not right…oh. Sorry.”

“Yeah.” Bucky messed with the radio some more and ended up on a rock station. Both of them were relatively quiet after that.

* * *

Well, the drive back was horrible.

Steve couldn’t see a god damn thing and the road was flooding so Steve didn’t even know what side of the road he was on, or even if he was on the road at all. It was ridiculous. Steve was just sighing constantly and he could tell Bucky was upset as well.

The tension in truck was unbelievable and Steve just wanted out of this fuckin’ truck.

Steve glanced up and saw a bit of neon and thank god. He had been looking for a place to stay for the past hour. He quickly pulled over and found that it was indeed a motel. Thank god.

It wasn’t a very good one, but hell, it was a motel. It would have to do.

It was eight at night and this would just have to do. Steve parked the truck and took a deep breath.

“Um?” Bucky asked, looking around. “Why are we at a motel?”

“The rain isn’t stopping any time soon, Buck. I can’t drive in this. I can barely see in front of my own face. We still have a good three hours to go, and that would be in normal weather. We should just crash here for the night and continue home in the morning. I will buy the room, just…” He looked over at Bucky and god, this was so ridiculous and embarrassing.

Stopping to rest made the most sense. He didn’t want them to crash due to the rain. It was all safety precautions. He knew what this looked like but, he really didn’t want to drive in this. He hated driving to begin with and seriously, why hadn’t he checked the damn weather before all of this?

“Okay. I will help pay for the room.”

“Don’t worry about it.” Steve responded with a smile. “I got it.” Steve hopped out of the truck and ran to the front desk. When he walked inside, he almost slipped and busted his ass because the floor was so wet due to all of the other patrons on the motel walking in.

He looked around and found that there wasn’t a soul in the little office.

Of course.

He walked over to the front desk and rang the little bell. After a few minutes and no one showed up, he rang it again. A young woman walked in and jesus, she couldn’t be over 17 years old. And she looked as bored as ever. He was going to receive some excellent service that was for sure.

A small smile came to her face when she saw Steve. Steve had to refrain from rolling his eyes.

“Hello.” She said, and god, she even batted her eyelashes at him. Was she expecting Steve to swoon or something?

“Hey.” Steve said, taking another step forward. “I was wondering if you guys had any vacancies.”

“Let’s see here.” The girl said as she sat down and started punching things in her computer. “We have one room available.”

“Great. I will take it.”

“How many in your party?” She asked, typing away at her computer.

“Two.”

“It only has one bed. It’s a single room with a queen size bed. Is that alright?” Steve paused for a second. He was perfectly alright with that. But he didn’t know if Bucky was. Fuck it. If Bucky had a problem, Steve would sleep on the floor. Or, Bucky could sleep on the floor. Didn’t make any difference to Steve.

“Yeah, that’ll be fine.” Steve replied with a smile.

“Just one night?” She asked, looking up at him.

“Yeah, just the night.”

“Alright, that will be $90.” Steve nodded and pulled out his debit card. After dealing with all the paperwork and listening to her ramble on about how nice their outside pool was, Steve made his way outside. Seriously, it’s fucking raining cats and dogs outside and she goes on about their outside pool.

Teenagers.

Steve hopped back into the truck and started it up.

“Is everything alright?” Bucky asked, obviously sensing a mood change in Steve.

“The girl in there went on and on about their outside pool. Does it look like we are going to be swimming?” Bucky just laughed as looked towards the office. The girl was standing at the door, watching them.

“I think she has a crush.” Bucky replied, smirking at Steve. Steve finally rolled his eyes and drove off.

“We got a single room with one queen sized bed. Is that alright?”

“Sure. I don’t give a fuck about sharing a bed.” Bucky responded and Steve just nodded as he drove around to where their room was. It was off to the side near the end. Well, that wasn’t really all the convenient, but whatever, it would do.

The room was actually quite decent. The wallpaper was awful and the bedspread was even worse, but, it looked cleaner than he had expected. Steve had expected it to smell like rot and look like something from a horror movie, but it was actually really nice.

Shocking.

Steve sat down on the bed and let out a small sigh as he could hear the rain beating down harder against the ceiling.

“I’m gonna shower.” Bucky mumbled as he made his way into the bathroom. Steve just nodded as he pulled his camera out of his bag.

He flipped through to the beginning and looked at each of his pictures. He had some pretty amazing shots. There was enough to give him some inspiration for the canvas’s. He would probably need to get more pictures, but at another time. He would see what he came up with from these pictures.

He stopped when he got to one of Bucky. Bucky was turning back to say something to him and Bucky was just smiling and god, he looked so beautiful.

Steve was never going to be over how beautiful Bucky was.

He continued scrolling through pictures until he stopped on one of him and Bucky. Steve was taking pictures and Bucky had insisted that they take one of them together.

It wasn’t the best photo, but Bucky was leaned up close to Steve and really, if you didn’t know any better, you would assume that they were a couple. They looked like a couple. At least, in Steve’s mind they did.

And now, now he had a picture of the two of them.

Steve jumped when the bathroom door opened and he quickly put his camera away so Steve wouldn’t see him staring at a picture of the two of them. That would be awkward.

Bucky walked out of the bathroom, towel over his head and in nothing but his boxers. Steve couldn’t help but gulp as he looked away. Bucky didn’t need to see Steve drooling over him.

Jesus, this was going to be more difficult than he thought. He needed to get a grip. He was an adult. He could handle this. He was acting like a horny teenager.

“Shower’s all yours.” Bucky responded as he poked his head out of the towel. Steve just nodded and he rushed into the bathroom. Once the door was closed he let out a deep breath and started stripping off his wet clothes.

He could see the small pile Bucky had made of his and Steve set his down right next to his. He would lay them out after he was done.

But right now, he really needed to shower.

* * *

When Steve stepped out of the bathroom (feeling a lot more refreshed but no less nervous), Bucky was already on the bed, flipping through the crappy selection of TV stations.

“Anything on?” Steve asked, setting his towel down on the little table in the room.

“Gilligan.” Bucky responded and Steve just laughed. Of course. “You took some amazing pictures.” Bucky responded, again, not really looking at Steve.

“Thanks.” Steve responded, not really sure how to react to that. He had left his camera out, sure, but he didn’t exactly expect Bucky to look at them. Not that he minded, but still.

He didn’t want Bucky to see all the pictures he had took of him. Maybe that was why Bucky wasn’t looking at him. He saw the obvious signs of Steve’s feelings and…

“Nice boxers.” Steve looked up and found Bucky looking at him, smirking. Steve looked down and realized that he was wearing his Looney Tunes boxers.

“I know you’re just jealous.” Steve said, feeling his confidence come back. Bucky just laughed as he put the TV back on Gilligan’s Island.

“Whatever makes you sleep at night.” Steve just laughed as he crawled into bed beside Bucky. “I will never understand how they couldn’t fix the boat. Like, do you see all the fuckin’ stuff they have on that island?”

“I know.”

“I mean, the millionaire’s wife has all her jewelry. Like, they were going on a 3 hour tour and she took her whole jewelry collection with her? Like, what the fuck?”

“Conspiracy.” Steve responded, making himself more comfortable on the bed.

“Probably. Wouldn’t surprise me. But seriously, they have so much stuff there, and they can’t even repair their boat.” Steve just laughed as Bucky continued ranting on and on about Gilligan’s Island.

Steve had had his thoughts about what this trip might bring, but being in a bed in a seedy motel room with Bucky watching Gilligan’s Island was not one of them. Not that he minded. It was actually a lot better than he was expecting.

And Bucky didn’t seem bothered by it at all either. So it was all good.

And it was just one night.

What harm could one night in a motel room do?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright, so I felt like this chapter probably didn't live up to the expectations, but well, the next chapter will be a bit more interesting.
> 
> Fun fact, I keep watching Gilligan's Island when I am writing this story so it always gets put in here. And all the little random thoughts Bucky has, like, I have those every time I watch it.
> 
> Second little fun fact, I always thought that the lyric was die having the time of your life in Dancing Queen.
> 
> Anyways, let me know what you guys think of the story! Next chapter will be the morning after!


	18. (69.)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just want to say upfront, I am really really sorry about this chapter *goes and hides under a rock*

Steve woke up to the distinct smell of apples. He didn’t know why he smelt apples, but he wasn’t going to complain. Apples smelled fuckin’ delicious. He smiled in his drowsy state and cuddled in closer to the smell, only to realize that the smell was coming from someone’s hair.

And the only person that it could be was Bucky. Right, the shampoo here was apple scented. Steve almost jumped off the bed when he realized that he had been in the process of nuzzling the back of Bucky’s head.

Oh shit. Steve was in such deep shit. Shit. Shit. _Fuckin’ shit_. Steve was such an idiot. He was such a huge idiot. Steve quickly glanced over to see if Bucky was awake or not. Steve had to know exactly how dead he was.

From the sounds of it, Bucky was still fast asleep.

Good. Great even. Steve wasn’t going to die today. Steve had someone on his side today.

Steve needed to fix this situation before it got too out of hand. He took a deep breath and looked down. Bucky was cuddled up right next to Steve. They weren’t exactly touching completely, but they were pretty much almost there. Steve had an arm draped across Bucky’s waist and one of his legs was over his and god, this was just bad. Bad, bad, bad.

Thank God Bucky was still asleep. And really, it could have been worse. Steve could have had a boner, which, thank god, he did not. Again, someone was on his side here.

Steve slowly lifted his leg from across Bucky and let out a small sigh of relief when Bucky didn’t move. Jesus, this was such a miracle. That or Bucky was one deep sleeper. It was probably the latter but Steve would believe it was still a miracle no matter what. There was no way Steve’s luck was this good, so it was only the work of a miracle that Bucky hadn’t woken up yet.

He honestly had no idea how this had happened. Well, okay, he did, but why did this have to happen now? He had never done this before. He had shared beds with Sam a million times when he and Sam did their little cross country trip a few years back with Peggy and Sharon. And Steve had never woken up draped all over Sam.

Why was this any different? Okay, that was a stupid question. Of course it was different. Steve wasn’t in love with Sam.

Whatever.

Steve would dwell on that later. Right now all he needed was to get untangled from Bucky. Then he could think through everything. Later. But first thing first, he had to get away from Bucky.

He took a deep breath and slowly pulled his arm away. When Bucky still remained unmoved Steve almost jumped from the bed right then and there. In fact, he was about to move away when Bucky moved. Steve immediately stopped moving and held his breath. Of course Bucky would fuckin’ move once Steve was in the clear. Steve should have known that his miracle would only last so long.

Bucky stretched out a bit, arching just a bit back into Steve’s space. Shit. Oh god, this was it. Steve was screwed. Steve was going die. Bucky was going to wake up fully and see Steve cuddled in close to him and then he was going to kill Steve. It was going to happen. It was just a matter of seconds.

Steve watched as Bucky turned around slowly. Steve saw that Bucky was not quite awake yet. His eyes were barely opened and he was smiling dopily up at Steve. It was actually quite the sight. Bucky was really something else.

“Morning.” Steve said quietly. He just needed to stay calm. Play this off with ease. And maybe, just maybe Bucky wouldn’t suspect anything.

“Mornin’” Bucky responded and his voice sounded heavenly, all husky and full of sleep. Steve had only fantasized about this moment since, well, since forever. He had dreamt about what it would be like waking up next to Bucky. What he would look like.

And well, this didn’t disappoint. Bucky’s hair was a complete mess, sticking up in every way since he had slept on it wet. But he looked just as perfect in the morning as he did every other time of the day.

Steve would give anything to be able to wake up to this every day.

And Steve didn’t know why he did it. He would later tell himself that this was the stupidest thing he could have ever done. But he would blame it on the way that Bucky was looking up at him, like he was his entire world. So it could have been that, or it could have been the way Bucky cuddled in closer to him.

But Steve kissed him.

It wasn’t anything too big. He just bent down and pressed his lips gently to Bucky’s. The second he did it, he knew it was a mistake. He knew he shouldn’t have done it and there was no way he could explain it away. What was done is done.

He had kissed Bucky and he was going to have to endure the consequences.

But the thing is though, Bucky wasn’t pushing him away. Bucky may have tensed for a second, but then he relaxed. In fact, Bucky was even kissing him back. The second Steve had pulled away from the first kiss, Bucky had leaned forward and pulled him back in. It wasn’t much, just sleepy kisses.

But Bucky was kissing him back. And Steve felt Bucky’s hand come up and cup his cheek and oh god. This was really happening. Bucky was kissing him! _Bucky was kissing him_. Bucky did like him. Bucky wanted him. Everything was all coming together for Steve. It was like a dream come true.

Steve couldn’t believe it. He almost thought he was dreaming. But he couldn’t dream up something as real as this. It felt way too good to be a dream. This was real and it was amazing.

And Steve, well, Steve had wanted this for so long that he sort of just flew into it. His body was completely taking over and he was going to take what he had wanted for so long. Steve’s hands groped everywhere he could before going up to Bucky’s hair, pulling on it like he had always dreamed of doing. Bucky let out a small moan that had all of Steve’s blood heading south.

Steve yanked on Bucky’s hair again as he lips moved to Bucky’s neck.

Of course that only lasted a few seconds because Bucky immediately tensed up and shoved Steve off.

Steve let go and pulled himself away as fast as he could. The dopey look on his face quickly vanished when he saw Bucky’s face. Bucky looked upset. Well, he looked more than upset, he looked downright pissed.

Shit. How had Steve messed up this time? What had he done?

“Buck…”

“What the fuck Steve.” Bucky was out of bed in a heartbeat and Steve followed suit. Steve’s brain was still trying to catch up with his body. He didn’t know what he did, but he had done something wrong. One minute Bucky seemed to be okay with everything and the next Bucky was flipping out.

Steve might as well start apologizing. That always seemed like the best place to start.

“Bucky. I can explain I…”

“No, seriously Steve. What. The. Fuck.” Steve took a step forward but stopped when Bucky stepped back. “Don’t come any closer.”

“Bucky. I don’t understand I…” Bucky let out a small laugh and Steve suddenly felt like that skinny kid again. That laugh was directed at Steve and it was filled with malice, something Steve never experienced from Bucky. Something he never wanted to experience.

“You don’t understand? Of course you don’t fuckin’ understand. I am with someone Steve. Connie? You remember her? I love her, okay. And I am with her.” Steve took a deep breath. He needed to be calm. Bucky was overreacting because he was nervous or scared or something. Because goddammit Bucky had kissed him back.

Bucky didn’t really mean to be yelling at Steve like this. He didn’t mean it.

“I know. Bucky, I know. This was a huge mistake. I don’t know why I did it.” Bucky looked up at him. He still looked mad.

“Was this all just some kind of act to you? Was this whole trip just some trap for you to get me in some seedy motel room?”

“What?” Now Bucky had lost him? Where was this whole act thing coming from? And this was not some trap. Jesus. Where was Bucky getting all these ideas?

“Were you just friends with me just so you can get into my pants?”

“What are you talking about? I am friends with you because you are an amazing person. I didn’t do it to sleep with you.”

“But you like me? I’m the guy you like?” Steve took a deep breath.

“Yes. I think you are an amazing person, Bucky. I didn’t mean to kiss you. It was a mistake. I know that. I have been trying to get over you for a while now, I don’t know what came over me. I know you’re with Connie, okay, I…” Steve was rambling and he honestly had no idea what was coming out of his mouth, just as long as it made Bucky feel better, he didn’t care.

“You took advantage of me.” Steve was about to say something but Bucky looked absolutely wrecked and he almost looked like he wanted to cry. “I trusted you Steve. And you used me.” And hearing Bucky’s voice like that broke Steve.

Now Steve felt like complete shit. He hadn’t intended to take advantage of Bucky, but looking back on it. Bucky probably wasn’t all the way awake yet when Steve had kissed him. Great. Steve really was an asshole.

“I’m sorry Bucky. Please just…” Steve took a few steps forward but Bucky bolted back to the wall.

“Don’t! You took advantage of me Steve! We can’t go back from this! Nothing can change this. You did what you did and it’s done now. There’s no going back now.”

“Bucky. Look. It was a mistake. I admit that, okay. It is my fault. I’m sorry that I took advantage of you, I didn’t mean it. Just, let me drive you home and…”

“No!” Bucky walked over to where his clothes were and pulled out his phone. Steve just stood on the other side of the room, not really knowing what to do. “Natasha. Come pick me up.” Steve couldn’t hear her voice from where he was, but he could imagine what she was saying. “No, I don’t know where the fuck I am.” Bucky then looked up at Steve and well, the Bucky looking at him wasn’t the Bucky he knew. “Where the fuck are we Steve?” Bucky shouted.

“The Bay Motel.” Steve said, taking another step forward. “Bucky just let me…”But Bucky just glared at him.

“Did you hear that? Bay Motel. You better get here fast.”

“Bucky come on.” Steve couldn’t help but feel that Bucky was overreacting. But for Bucky to be overreacting, something had to have happened before and god, why didn’t Steve know about it? If he had, he sure as hell wouldn’t have done this.

But Bucky had kissed him back. That had to mean something, right?

“Stay the fuck away from me Steve.” Bucky shouted before he hung up the phone. He then pulled the rest of his clothes on, making sure he stayed as far away from Steve as possible. Steve felt like he was going to cry. Of course he had messed up. He would be the one to do it. He had been worrying about this for months and it had finally happened.

“Bucky please…” Steve’s voice cracked.

“No. This friendship we had, it’s over. I never want to see your face again, you got that?”

“Bucky. Please…” But Bucky just ignored him as he left the room in a hurry. Steve felt like he was going to be sick. He ran into the bathroom and threw up whatever was left in his stomach.

When he had finished throwing up everything he could, he fell back against the wall and finally let himself cry.

What was he going to do now?

* * *

Steve wasn’t sure how long he sat there crying, but he felt pretty miserable and had a headache already so he guessed it had been a while. He heard the door open to the motel room and he felt a small shot of hope shoot through him when he thought it was Bucky.

Maybe Bucky had just needed to cool off a bit and now he would be back to apologize and everything would go right back to the way it was.

“Bucky?” Steve whispered. His voice cracked and he sounded awful, even to his own ears.

“Steve?” Steve closed his eyes and banged his head against the wall. It was Natashsa. Of course it was Natasha. She was probably here to yell at him for hurting Bucky or to kick his ass. Not that it really mattered. He wouldn’t put up a fight regardless of what she chose. He looked up at her when he heard her approach the bathroom. “Steve? What the hell happened?” She walked in and immediately knelt down beside him.

“Where’s Bucky?”

“He’s in the car. What the hell happened?”

“I fucked up. Natasha. I really fucked up this time.”

“You? How? Steve, Bucky is out there saying you took advantage of him or something. What is going on here?”

“I did. Natasha, I am a horrible person. You should probably just leave me here to suffer alone.”

“Steve. You and I both know that you are not a horrible person. Even Bucky knows that.”

“I kissed him.” Natasha straightened up then. Her face didn’t reveal anything, but he could tell that she had not been expecting him to say that.

“You kissed him?” Steve nodded. His throat felt so dry. He felt like he was going to throw up again. But he didn’t have anything left to throw up.

“We woke up, cuddled together, and I got lost in the moment and kissed him. I did take advantage of him. It was stupid but Natasha, he kissed me back. And then he freaked out and I fucked up. I shouldn’t have done it and now he wants nothing to do with me.” Steve started sobbing again. Natasha reached out and pulled him forward into a hug.

Steve had been expecting Natasha to yell at him, but somehow, her comforting him made it feel even worse. He should be getting yelled at because he had done a horrible thing.

“Shhh…Steve, you need to calm down otherwise you will make yourself sick again.” She was silent for a bit as Steve tried to calm himself down. “You are going to have to give Bucky some space on this, alright?” Steve nodded.

“He was the best thing that ever happened to me. What am I going to do without him?” Natasha pulled his face up so that he was looking up at her.

“Look, Bucky, a few years back, experienced something bad and something must have triggered it today. It was nothing to do with you.”

“Natasha…”

“Second, you and Bucky have been spending way too much time together. Your whole world revolved around each other and well, maybe some time apart will be good. For both of you.”

“But…”

“Give Bucky a few days to cool off. Then you can work on an apology or something. Then everything will go back to normal. You two need some time a part and then when you both have calmed down, you guys can have a nice long chat.” Steve didn’t say anything as Natasha just ran her hand over Steve’s back.

“Do you hate me?” Steve asked.

“What? Steve…”

“I hurt Bucky, somehow. I deserve to be hated and…”

“Steve, first, stop blaming yourself. You made a mistake, you are only human. But I don’t hate you.” Steve was about to respond when Natasha’s phone went off. “That’s probably Bucky. But Steve, just go home and get some rest and try not to think about this. I will call you later.” Steve just nodded as Natasha gave him a small kiss on the forehead before heading out.

Steve waited a few minutes before he pulled himself up and headed home.

* * *

Steve stood in front of his apartment and just stared at the door. He didn’t want to go inside. He knew what was waiting for him. Natasha had probably called Sam which meant that Sam had called Peggy which meant that both of them were sitting inside, waiting for him to come home. To ask him how he was and to tell them what happened.

And Steve didn’t want to think about that.

But he had nowhere else to go. Normally he would go to the clinic or something, but that was off limits now.

He took a deep breath and stepped inside. And just like he was expecting, Sam and Peggy stood up once the door was closed.

“Steve.” Peggy said, taking a few steps forward. Steve just turned and walked to the fridge. He opened it up and grabbed a beer.

“You probably shouldn’t drink right now, Steve.” Steve just turned around and raised an eyebrow at Sam. Sam just shrugged as Steve chugged half the can.

“Before you ask, I don’t want to talk about it.” Steve then finished off the rest of the can, threw it away and made his way to his room, slamming the door shut. Steve didn’t even bother changing his clothes. He just crashed down on his bed and passed out.

* * *

When Steve woke up again, the sun was starting to set. He had spent the whole day sleeping. Great. And he still felt like shit. He rolled over and found Peggy sitting in a chair next to the bed. Of course.

“Awake?” She asked, reaching over to get her phone. She typed out a quick message then turned her attention back to Steve. “Natasha called. She said that Bucky took an emergency trip to Memphis.” Steve groaned. He heard his door open and knew that it must have been Sam. “Care to tell us what happened?”

“I really, really, don’t want to talk about it guys.”

“We’re worried about you.” That was Sam.

“I just want some time to myself to think about what happened. Well, I want to forget what happened. And that involves not speaking about it. So, please, just leave me alone.”

“Steve…”

“I said leave me alone!” Steve shouted, sitting up. “I just fucked up my friendship with Bucky, so please, just leave me the fuck alone.” Steve didn’t wait for their reactions; he fell back against the bed and turned away from them.

He knew he was being mean, and he probably should talk to them. Get all these feelings out. But he just couldn’t. Not right now. Not after it had just happened.

Right now he just wanted to forget the whole thing happened.

Steve heard both Peggy and Sam leave his room, but he still didn’t feel any better. If anything, he felt worse.

Why did he have to mess everything up? Why?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, so I promise, I promise, that things will get better. This is just gonna be a little small patch and things will get better. But there will be a couple more chapters and then a little time gap is gonna happen.
> 
> Anyways, thanks for reading! Hopefully I haven't upset you all with this chapter to stop reading. You are all amazing and just thanks so much! :)


	19. (70.)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I appreciate you all for still sticking with me on this, even after the last chapter. You are all wonderful! <333

When Steve woke up again, he felt like death. His eyes hurt, his head felt like it was on fire and a train had run over it, his body was sore, and he had the worst taste in his mouth. And to top it off, he was still tired.

His room was dark, but he could see hints of sunlight poking in through his blinds.

Steve let out a small grunt as he pulled himself from his bed. He looked around and took a deep breath. He still felt like absolute shit. He reached over and grabbed his phone and found that he had no missed calls or message from Bucky.

Of course not.

Bucky was probably still pissed at him.

Steve pulled himself from his bed and slowly made his way to the bathroom. Luckily the bathroom was close to his room so he wouldn’t have to walk by Sam and possibly even Peggy. He didn’t need a confrontation right now. It’s still too early, well, Steve didn’t know what time it was, but it was still too early for him.

When he was done doing his business and brushing his teeth, he walked back out only to find Sam standing across the doorway, waiting for him. But it was only him.

“Peggy went home a few hours ago.” Sam said, as if reading his mind. Steve just nodded and started heading back to his room, but Sam stopped him. Steve just sighed and headed towards the kitchen instead.

He needed a drink.

He walked over to the fridge and pulled out a beer. He popped the top and took a long sip, making a face at the foul taste. Take note, beer and toothpaste do not mix well.

“Steve, goddammit, you need to talk to me.” Steve just ignored him as he chugged the rest of the beer. He threw that can away and grabbed another one.

“I don’t have to do shit.” Steve mumbled out as he headed back to his room.

“It’s noon Steve. You have been sleeping for almost 12 hours now. You need to do something other than drinking and sleeping.” Steve looked back at him and just glared.

“Sam, I just want to forget.”

“Well tough shit, that ain’t gonna happen. What you did happened. There’s no changing it now. What’s done is done.”

“You don’t even know what I did. How he looked at me.” Steve said, looking down at the floor. “He looked at me like I was the scum of the Earth.”

“Steve, you need to talk to me, to someone. You can’t bottle up all these emotions.”

“Watch me.” Steve said, turning away and heading back towards his room.

“Steve…” Steve didn’t answer as he walked into his room, slamming the door shut. He opened up his second beer and took a long sip before setting it on his nightstand. He fell back against his bed and just stared up at the ceiling.

He felt like his brain was pounding against his skull. Drinking really wasn’t the best idea but it was the best he could do.

Steve grabbed his phone again and flipped through his contacts before he found Bucky’s name. He knew Natasha said to give him a few days but Steve needed to talk to him now.

The phone rang three times before it just ended. He called again and it did the same thing. Bucky was hanging up on him. He wouldn’t even let it go to fucking voice mail. Steve grumbled and threw his phone across the room.

The bastard.

Steve rolled over on his bed and curled up on himself. This is why he didn’t want to become friends with Bucky in the first place. This was exactly why. Steve was always the one to mess it up. Everything was always his fault.

With Peggy, it really ended up being his fault. With Brock, well, Brock made it seem like it was his fault. And now with Bucky, it was his fault. Steve just was destined to be alone or something.

He didn’t know how long he stared at the wall in front of him, but his staring was interrupted by his door slamming open.

“Steven Grant Rogers!” Steve turned around to find Natasha glaring at him. Clint and Sam were standing back in the doorway.

“What?” Steve asked. He was too tired to even care at this point. He didn’t feel like dealing with Natasha right now.

“Do you know what I just found out?” Steve almost rolled his eyes. He didn’t really care what Natasha had just found out.

“What? Did Bucky tell you how straight he is by telling you how he went to Memphis to just fuck Connie?” Natasha didn’t seem bothered by his attitude. She almost seemed amused by it. But it seemed that she was more agitated with what she had just found out.

“Pretty much. Bucky woke me up bright and early this morning to send me this picture.” She pulled out her phone and then handed it to Steve. Steve took it and looked down. He almost gagged.

It was a picture of Bucky and Connie. They were in an embrace but her left hand was on his chest and on her left ring finger, was the ring. Bucky had fucking proposed to Connie. Steve handed the phone back to her and he just felt sick.

“The bastard.”

“Steve, you have to tell me what happened. Bucky didn’t tell me shit and what you told me was vague.”

“I told you what happened!” Steve shouted, standing up.

“Well, tell me more.” Steve groaned.

“I kissed him! Okay! We woke up together and he looked up at me like I was his entire world. And I was weak and I kissed him. But fuck him, he kissed me back!” Steve shouted. “Bucky kissed me back and it was the best goddamn feeling I’ve felt in a long time. But then he pushed me away like I had burned him. And he told me I took advantage of him! I don’t know what I did but he looked at me like I was dirt under his feet.”

“Steve…”

“No, for the past few months you and Becca and freaking everyone else have been on my ass to make a move on Bucky, and well, I did. And look what happens. He fucks off and proposes to Connie who he doesn’t even love!” Steve shouted and god, he was shaking. Natasha just looked at him. Clint and Sam were still standing in the doorway. Clint looked shocked and Sam just looked upset. “So maybe you should start questioning Bucky because I don’t have anything else to say on the matter.”

“Steve…”

“Is Bucky even into guys?” Natasha let out a small sigh. “Because if he isn’t, then fuck you for getting my hopes up.”

“I can’t tell you that story.”

“Well, it’s just a simple yes or no, Natasha.”

“Bucky dated one guy back in college and it wasn’t the best experience so he likes to think he is straight now.” Steve just laughed. Of course.

“You see, I knew this was a bad idea. I tried to be just friends. I tried. But you guys, all of you, started filling my head with ideas about Bucky and you all fucked up my head.”

“Don’t you dare blame this on us!” Sam said, taking a step forward.

“I’m not!” Steve choked out. He wiped at his eyes and god, he didn’t want to cry again. He didn’t even know he was crying. “I just want to be left alone so I can grieve in private.” Natasha just looked at him before storming out of the room. Clint followed behind her. Sam just looked at him before leaving the room as well, closing the door softly behind him.

Steve just let out a small grunt as he kicked his nightstand, knocking it over.

Fuckin’ Bucky Barnes.

* * *

Steve needed to get out of this apartment.

He needed to go out and get his mind off Bucky. It was as simple as that.

He had just lain in bed for hours, staring at the wall and dialing Bucky’s number every ten minutes. This was ridiculous. He was getting mad because Bucky had gone and fuckin’ proposed to Connie and just. Ugh. Steve needed to not think about that. Otherwise he would just get mad all over again.

He needed to get drunk. And he needed to get laid. He hadn’t drank anything in quite a while and god, the last time he had sex was with Brock.

Both things would help immensely with getting Bucky off his mind. If Bucky could go off and get himself engaged, Steve could go find someone to fuck and have a good time.

Simple.

Steve pulled himself from his bed and made his way to the shower.

After the shower, Steve already felt better. But he would need more help than just feeling better. He needed to look good as well. He put on his best shirt, the blue one that always brought attention to his blue eyes. And he put on his best pair of jeans (ones that Peggy said made his ass look amazing). He didn’t bother shaving, going with the more rugged look.

People liked that. Right? Whatever. It would just have to do.

Steve stepped out of his room and made his way to the door.

“Where’re you going?” Steve stopped at the door and turned around. Of course Sam would be waiting for him. Sam probably had been since he heard Steve get into the shower.

“Out.” Sam laughed, making his way over to Steve.

“Wow, you must think I’m stupid or something. You have been moping over Bucky for about 24 straight hours and now you expect me to believe that you are just going out. Where?”

“I don’t know yet. But I need a distraction, Sam.” There was no point in lying to Sam. Sam would just pick the truth from him anyways.

“Steve. I know right now you just want to get drunk and probably sleep with someone, but it’s not the thing to do. So why don’t we just stay here and watch a movie or something. Get your mind off him that way.”

Steve should probably do that. He should. But he wasn’t going to. Bucky had been to his apartment. There were too many memories here.

“Sorry Sam. But I just can’t. I’ll text you if I need a ride.” And with that, Steve was out the door and on his way.

* * *

The bar Steve picked was geared more to the younger crowd (and Steve liked to think he was still young, but these people, they had to have just turned 21 or something), but he was sure he could find someone. In places like this, there were always people that were desperate enough for an anonymous fuck. He was focusing more on picking up a woman tonight. He needed to get his mind off Bucky, and what better way than to aim for a whole different sex.

He was getting a lot of looks, and he was close to going home with this one girl. She was beautiful. Bright blonde hair and the most beautiful green eyes Steve had ever seen. She was funny and well, she and Steve had seemed to really hit it off.

But he couldn’t go through with it. He liked the girl too much to do that to her. To use her like that. She didn’t deserve it.

So, he opted with just getting drunk instead.

He was on his sixth beer when someone slid into the seat next to him.

“Well, look what the cat drug in.” Steve couldn’t help but smile as he looked down at the counter.

“Hello Brock.” Steve replied, looking over at him. Brock just smiled as he leaned in closer to him.

“What are you doing here, drinking alone? Where’s your little boy toy?” Steve laughed at that.

“First off, Bucky and I weren’t dating, like, ever.” Steve hated how childish he sounded, but he didn’t really care too much about it. Brock let out an annoying laugh.

“Really now?”

“And second, I can drink alone if I want.” Steve replied, taking a sip out of his beer.

“You aren’t the drinking alone type Steve.” Steve took a deep breath when he felt Brock’s hand grope his thigh. “You are on the prowl, aren’t you Stevie?”

“Don’t call me that.” Steve hissed out. Brock just laughed again as he leaned in closer to Steve, Steve felt a small chill go through him as Brock’s breath tickled his ear.

“I’m sorry, is that what your Bucky called you?”

“Fuck off Brock.” Steve was not in the mood for this.

“You know, my offer still stands.” Brock said, leaning back, a smirk coming to his face. Steve looked over at him and really, the offer was tempting.

Maybe this was exactly what he needed. He could get over Bucky and possibly get Brock fully out of his system. Killing two birds with one stone. It was a brilliant idea and honestly, Steve didn’t know why he hadn’t thought of it earlier. Steve was about to respond when someone stepped in between him and Brock.

And well, the first thing Steve saw was a very nice set of boobs. And then he realized that he knew those boobs. He knew those boobs on a personal level.

“Peggy.” Steve responded with a smile. He looked up at her and smirked. Peggy glared at him before promptly slapping him in the face.

“You’re an asshole.” Peggy hissed before turning to look at Brock. “As for you, you’re an even bigger asshole.”

“Whoa there, Miss Peggy, no need to get mad at me. I didn’t do anything.” Brock said, pouring on the charm. The asshole. Like he wasn’t the one that had just propositioned Steve. Then again, Steve had considered it.

“Yeah right. I knew exactly what you were going to do and you are such a bastard. Get out of here before I do something rash and kill you.” Brock laughed.

“Like you could….” The next thing Steve knew, Brock was on the floor, Peggy having punched him straight in the jaw. The alcohol in Steve’s system didn’t let him laugh quietly, so he let out a loud snort instead. Normally, he wouldn’t have made a reaction, but he had been drinking so yeah, he laughed.

But it was hilarious. Steve was going to remember this for a long time.

Brock pulled himself up and glared at both of them.

“You bitch.” Brock hissed out. Steve was about to stand up but Peggy whipped back around and Brock actually flinched.

“You wanna say that to my face, Rumlow?” Peggy said. Brock actually looked a little terrified as he backed away. Oh yes, Steve was definitely going to remember this.

Peggy then turned back around and grabbed Steve by the arm.

“You’re coming with me.” She said, grabbing Steve and pulling him off his bar stool and dragging him outside. Steve didn’t have the physical strength to resist. But he could whine. That he could do.

“Peggy! Come on!”

“No! I have been calling you non-stop for three hours now!” Steve stopped walking then. Really? Had he been out here for three hours? Steve reached into his pocket and pulled out his phone and well, sure enough, he had quite a few missed calls and messages from Peggy and Sam.

“I’m sorry.” Steve whispered. Peggy turned around and looked at him.

“Steve, you just had us worried. You didn’t tell Sam where you were going and well, you were not in your right mind today. You scared me.” Steve looked down at her and well, he couldn’t help but cry.

This wasn’t like him at all. Why was he acting like this?

“I’m sorry Peggy.” Steve said as he pulled her into a hug. Peggy wrapped her arms around him and held him tight. This was what he needed. He didn’t need people questioning him or yelling at him or anything. He just needed to be hugged and comforted.

Steve felt his body relax as the tears fell.

“Shhh…Steve. It’s alright.” Peggy whispered. “It’s alright.”

“I messed up Peggy.” Peggy didn’t say anything as she ran her hands over his back, comforting him as he sobbed into her shoulder. Steve knew this wasn’t the place to do this, outside a bar and all that, but Steve didn’t care. He felt so worn out.

It was like all the past few months had finally caught up with him.

Peggy finally pulled away from him and forced him to look at her.

“Steve.” Steve nodded. “We are going to go to my car, okay? And then we can talk. Or if you don’t want to talk, you can just cry some more, okay?” Steve smiled at that.

“Okay.”

“Good. Now, come with me.” She grabbed his hand and pulled him with her towards the parking lot.

“Is Sam mad at me?”

“No. Of course not. He’s just frustrated. He just wants you to talk to him.”

“I know. I just couldn’t though, not about this.”

“Do you think you could talk to me about it?” Steve laughed at that.

“And have you tell me ‘I told you so’?”

“You know I would never.” Peggy said, stopping to turn and face him. “Is this what’s wrong? You think Sam and I would gloat that we were right?”

“But it’s true. You both were right. I was the one that got hurt in the end. I should’ve listened to you.”

“No. No Steve, you did what you felt is right, something you always do. You aren’t afraid to take risks. And Sam and I were wrong to try and force you to do otherwise.”

“But…”

“No buts. I don’t know exactly what happened, but from what I have heard, Bucky likes you. I can see it. Sam sees. Hell, people from space could probably see it. Bucky cares a lot about you.”

“You didn’t see the way he looked at me yesterday. He hates me.”

“No, he doesn’t. No matter what he said or how he looked at you. He doesn’t. Bucky’s just scared.” Steve laughed.

“You talked with Natasha, didn’t you?”

“Should that matter?”

“I don’t think Bucky is scared.”

“You don’t call high-tailing it out of here to go propose to his girlfriend being scared?”

“Peggy…”

“Do you want to know what I think?”

“You’re gonna tell me anyways.”

“Everyone has different ways with dealing with their feelings. Common knowledge, right? You were upset, so you slept your life away and then dealt with it by drinking and trying to get laid. Even if that meant resorting to the one person you hate most.”

“I wasn’t going to…” Peggy just raised an eyebrow, daring him to finish that statement. Steve wasn’t brave enough for that. He couldn’t lie to Peggy. There was no point in even trying.

“Bucky on the other hand, he is too afraid to admit what he wants, at least, that’s how I see it. So, he went running back to Connie, who, everyone knows their relationship isn’t even fully functional these days and does the first thing he can think of, and that is propose to her.”

“Bucky wants nothing to do with me anymore.”

“I doubt that.”

“Peggy…”

“Just give him some space. Let him deal with his problems and then talk with him. I don’t know what is going to happen. But what did happen is already done. You can’t erase that, Steve, no matter how much you want to.”

“What should I do?”

“I can’t answer that. You do what you feel you need to. But don’t go around hooking up with strangers or anything like that. You are better than that. You are strong and you can overcome this.” Steve smiled down at her.

“Thanks Peggy.” Peggy just smiled and leaned up to press a gentle kiss to his lips.

“You know I love you Steve, and I want nothing but happiness for you.”

“I know.”

“Now, let’s get you back home, alright?” Steve just smiled and got into the car with Peggy.

He felt a thousand times better already.

* * *

When Peggy and Steve showed up at the apartment, the first thing Steve did was apologize to Sam. Sam said he didn’t need to, but Steve knew he had to. Steve had been a shitty friend lately and just, yeah, he needed to apologize for how he acted.

Steve then sat both Sam and Peggy down and told them the whole story. He knew he needed to let everything out and he knew they wouldn’t judge him, at least, not to his face.

But they both seemed very understanding. When Steve was done telling his story, he waited for their reactions.

“What are you going to do?” Sam asked.

“What do you mean?”

“I mean, Bucky isn’t going anywhere. He will always be around. Are you going to be okay with seeing him?”

“I guess. I mean. I don’t know. I don’t want to think about all of this. I guess I will just deal with it when it comes. I mean, Bucky wants nothing to do with me right now. So, I don’t think I will be seeing him anytime soon.”

“Will you be okay, in any circumstance?” Peggy added. “If things go back to normal or if Bucky continues to ignore you?”

“I don’t know. But Natasha did say something to me that I think might be useful.”

“And what is that?”

“She said Bucky and I have been pretty much inseparable since we met. She thinks a little time away from each other would be good for us.”

“I think she’s right.” Peggy said, reaching out to grab Steve’s hand. “I think you too got too close too quickly. Just see how it goes.” Steve just nodded as he stood up.

“I know this seems weird, but I am tired.” Peggy and Sam just nodded as Steve made his way back to his room. Once he was all ready for bed, he checked his phone again.

He couldn’t believe he had been so close to sleeping with Brock. Like, Steve didn’t know how he would have lived with himself afterwards. If Steve would have done that, then he really would have bit rock bottom.

And that was something Steve couldn’t do.

He was about to turn off his lamp when his phone went off. He looked over, confused as to who would be calling him because honestly, no one ever called him anymore.

But then he saw it was Chase.

Steve had almost forgotten about Chase.

“Hello?”

“Hey Steve, sorry it’s so late, I just, well…” Steve smiled. Chase sounded so nervous. It was downright adorable.

“Yes?”

“Well, I wanted to know how your road-trip was?” Steve laughed. Oh man, if he only knew.

“It actually wasn’t all that great. Bucky and I had a little fight so…”

“Oh, really? I’m sorry. You and Barnes were close, right?”

“Yeah. But, I mean, I got some great shots…”

Wow. Steve hadn’t even thought about that. If Bucky was mad at him, would he still want Steve to work on the canvases? What if he went and destroyed the mural in some sort of angry fit?

Shit.

Steve hadn’t even thought of that.

“Steve?”

“What? Sorry Chase, I got lost in my own thoughts. It’s been a really long day.”

“Hey no worries. I understand. I shouldn’t have called you this late anyways.”

“It’s not your fault Chase, don’t worry about. I haven’t talked to you in a while. I missed ya.”

“You did?” Steve smiled.

“Well, yeah. And well, you know, I know this really amazing diner, if you are interested. Maybe we can get lunch tomorrow, to catch up. If you’re free?” Chase was silent for a bit and great. Steve probably just fucked up again.

“I would love to. Marty’s, right?” Steve laughed.

“Wow, that obvious, huh?”

“Natasha may have mentioned a couple times that you love that place.”

“Alright. It’s a date.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, so no Bucky in this one, BUT he will be in the next chapter. So, coming up, Natasha throws a little party to make a big announcement!


	20. (75.)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I think this must be some kind of record. I don't think I have ever gotten a chapter out this fast.

“You look good.” Steve smiled into the mirror over at Chase, who was sitting on his bed, smiling back at him.

“I appreciate the compliment.” Steve responded, buttoning the last button of his shirt. He didn’t think he looked that good. He looked sickly, in his opinion. Of course, ever since the fiasco with Bucky, Steve didn’t have much of an appetite anymore and he still wasn’t sleeping all that well. But he guessed it was good that Chase didn’t see that when looking at him.

“The beard is a really, really good look for you.” Steve nodded and ran his hand over it. The beard wasn’t really intentional, he just didn’t feel like shaving anymore and well, it stuck. Besides, he had wanted his beard back for a while. Steve took a deep breath and turned around to face Chase.

“So, this looks alright? Not too formal for a dinner, right?” Chase just smiled as he stood up and walked over to Steve.

“You look amazing, and I’m glad that I’m your date tonight.” Steve just smiled as he pulled Chase in for a quick kiss.

The lunch date with Chase a few days ago had gone well. Chase was like a breath of fresh air for Steve. And Chase seemed to really like Steve, which was more than he could say for Bucky at the moment.

And Chase didn’t mention the road-trip at all. He seemed all about making Steve laugh and it was amazing. Darcy had even mentioned to Steve on their way out how happy he looked.

It was nice.

And well, since the lunch date, Steve and Chase had hung out every day since then. Going out to see a movie, having dinner at the fancy restaurant downtown, or even just hanging out at each other’s apartments.

It was the perfect distraction, and one that Steve wasn’t going to regret anytime soon. But the thing about distractions, is that after said distraction goes away, the problems come back.

Steve always felt so high when he was with Chase. He would be in such a good mood and laughing and smiling and have a good time. But when he was back at his own apartment, alone, all the feelings about Bucky came rushing back. It was those times that Steve had never felt so alone.

He thought he was doing better, and in a way, he was. The pain got better as the days went on. But it always just took one little thing to bring it all back.

So Steve did the only thing he could think of, he spent more and more time with Chase.

There was a small part of him that felt guilty for using Chase like this, but well, as Steve saw it, they were both benefiting from the interactions. So there was really no harm there. Right?

“So, who’s all going to be there?” Chase asked as they made their way out to the living room.

“Um, well, Sam has some other plans so he can’t go, but Peggy is going and she is bringing Sharon. I think Bruce and Betty will be there. Thor and Jane, Tony and Pepper probably.” And Bucky and Connie. But Steve didn’t want to think about that right now. When Natasha had called him yesterday, Steve had whined to her for about an hour about not wanting to go because Bucky would be there. But Natasha, as convincing as she always is, persuaded Steve to come. “You know, the usual.” Chase just smiled as he grabbed Steve’s hand.

“It’s going to be fun.” Steve just smiled as they made their way out. Fun was not the word Steve would use, but he was going to try and make it through tonight. It shouldn’t be that hard.

On the way out, Peggy sent him a text telling him that she was already there, and that it was quite the dinner party. Steve didn’t know if that made him feel better or worse.

But since everyone was probably already there, it would be easier to go unnoticed.

Hopefully.

Chase pulled up the Natasha and Clint’s apartment and parked his car.

“Is it bad that I’m nervous?” Chase asked as he stepped out of the car. Steve just laughed. Is Chase was nervous then Steve was going to be frantic.

“Why are you nervous? You know Natasha already, and everyone else.”

“Yeah, but not as your date.” Steve just smiled and pulled him in close and pressed a gentle kiss to Chase’s lips.

“You’ll be fine.” Steve wished he could say the same for himself. He was scared shitless. And Bucky was already here. He had seen his car in the lot. He was in no way ready to see Bucky again. It was weird because just a few days ago Steve had just wanted to talk to him. And now, now Steve didn’t know what he would say if he could talk to him.

Steve and Chase walked up the stairs and stopped in front of the door.

Well, here goes nothing.

Steve knocked on the door and took a step back. The door swung open a few moments later, revealing Natasha looking as gorgeous as ever. She was in a beautiful white dress and her hair was curled around her face, and she looked like an angel. She was beautiful.

“Steve!” She said with a big smile as she pulled him into a big hug. “Look at you!” She said, pulling back, running her hands over his chest before coming up to his face and running her fingers through his beard. “You look like a fucking lumberjack.” Steve just laughed.

“Thanks.” Natasha then turned to Chase and smiled.

“Chase.” She grabbed him by the hand and pulled him inside. “I have been waiting for you to show up. I need to borrow him for a minute Steve, I hope you don’t mind.” Natasha said, pulling Chase away. Steve just smiled as he closed the door behind him and made his way inside.

He walked into the living room and found that there was quite the crowd in there. He saw Natasha and Chase talking with Pepper and Tony and Steve decided that it must have been something work related. But Chase looked completely at ease, it made Steve smile at how well Chase would be accepted by everyone.

“Steve.” Steve looked over and found Sharon walking over to him.

“Hey.” Steve was actually quite happy to see her. He hadn’t seen her since that night in the club. She pulled him into a small hug.

“How are you doing?”

“Good.” Steve replied with a smile. There was no doubt that Sharon knew what had happened between him and Bucky. Steve was positive that probably everyone in this apartment knew what had happened. Word travels fast around here.

Well, except to Connie.

At least Steve hoped that she didn’t know. If she did, he was going to avoid her at all costs. But something told him that Bucky wouldn’t tell Connie.

Steve spent the next few moments catching up with Sharon and even went to chat with Bruce and Thor for a bit. Talking with everyone made Steve realize how much he had been avoiding everyone in favor of hanging out with Bucky these past few months.

Steve hadn’t even seen Bucky and Connie yet, and well, he was very thankful for that. He still wasn’t ready yet. But of course, that came to an end when he heard Connie laugh from across the room. Steve glanced over and found Connie talking with Jane and Betty.

He saw that they were all looking at her ring. He could hear Connie talking, probably about how Bucky had proposed, but Steve couldn’t hear it from over here. Connie looked happy. Almost as happy as she did in the pictures Steve had seen of her and Bucky before the crash. She was laughing and smiling and well, she looked amazing like that.

Steve felt like he was going to be sick.

“Excuse me.” Steve said as he made a beeline for the bathroom. He wasn’t looking where he was going, keeping his head down, so, it was only inevitable that he would run into someone. “Sorry.” He mumbled, looking up.

And he came face to face with Bucky.

Steve swore time stopped. In fact, it was like the whole world froze in time except for him and Bucky.

Bucky just looked at him. Steve couldn’t read his face but god, Bucky looked so different. And it hadn’t even been a week since he had seen him last.

The first thing that Steve noticed was that Bucky looked amazing. He looked a lot better than Steve did. Bucky looked happy and healthy. He looked like he had been eating and had been sleeping properly. Steve just looked like he had been grieving.

Bucky was clean shaved and he had even cut his hair. His long hair that Steve had grown to love was now gone. In its stead was short and styled hair.

Bucky looked amazing and it made Steve feel even worse.

Bucky was happy. And Steve was miserable.

Steve quickly looked back down and made his way to the bathroom. Once inside he locked the door and fell back against the door, it was really the only thing that was keeping him standing.

He took a deep breath and tried to calm himself down.

This wasn’t supposed to happen. Bucky was supposed to be as miserable as he had. That’s how it was supposed to be. Seeing Bucky being this happy, it just… Shit. Steve should have just stayed home tonight.

“Steve?” Steve closed his eyes as a tear fell. “Steve?” That was Peggy. “Steve, honey, please let me in.” Steve wiped at his eyes before taking a deep breath and opening the door.

Peggy slid in and pulled Steve into a small hug. God bless Peggy. She always knew what was wrong before Steve even had to tell her.

“Steve, you are strong and you can do this, alright? I know you. You can do this.”

“He looks so happy, Peggy. Healthy. This isn’t bothering him at all. I just…” Peggy didn’t say anything as she continued to hold him. If Bucky had looked like shit, Steve would have felt so much better. Because that meant he was suffering to.

But no. He looked as happy as ever, like this didn’t affect him at all. This was not right at all.

“I need you to pull yourself together.” Peggy whispered. “Natasha and Clint are going to make their big announcement soon.” Steve nodded, taking another deep breath as he pulled away.

He could do this. He could. He wiped away the tears on cheeks and took another deep breath.

Peggy gave him a small smile as they walked outside. Everyone was standing around the dinner table. Steve walked over and found his spot next to Chase. Chase looked over at him and smiled as he reached over and grabbed his hand.

Steve looked up and found that Bucky and Connie were right across from him. Bucky was just staring at him. His expression was unreadable. Steve quickly looked away.

“Hello everyone.” Clint said, getting everyone’s attention. “Nat and I would like to express our gratitude for all of you coming here this evening. All of you mean so much to us and we wanted you here for this big announcement.” Steve looked over at Clint and Natasha. They were standing next to each and Natasha was holding on to his hand and looking up at him like she was the happiest woman in the world.

And she was.

Clint and Natasha’s relationship was something Steve had been envious of these past few months. They had the kind of relationship Steve had always wanted with Bucky.

“So, without further ado, I would like everyone to know, that after all these years, Natasha has finally agreed to be my wife.” The room erupted in cheers and applause as all the women in the room ran up to them. Steve took a step back before making his way over to them.

Steve felt a sudden numbness come over him.

He was beyond thrilled for Natasha and Clint. But seeing Bucky and Connie being happy and now Natasha and Clint, it just made Steve feel like he was never going to get that.

Steve walked over to Natasha and Clint. He shook Clint’s hand, congratulating him before walking over to Natasha. He bent down and pressed a quick kiss to her cheek, telling her that he wished her nothing but happiness.

As he pulled away, he looked up and found Bucky still looking at him. Steve took a step back and watched as Bucky walked away. Steve knew where he was going. He was going off down the hallway to where the bedroom was.

That’s where Bucky and Natasha were talking before Steve found them the last time he was alone.

Steve took a deep breath and followed him down the hallway.

* * *

Steve walked into the bedroom and shut the door behind him quietly. Bucky was standing at the opposite side of the room with his back to him. Steve didn’t know what he was looking at, but it must have been something good because he didn’t even acknowledge Steve’s presence. Not that that was very surprising.

Steve stood there awkwardly for a few moments. When it became obvious that Bucky wasn’t going to say anything, Steve decided to he should speak first. And since he was still a little upset over it, he decided to strike the first nerve.

And really, it wasn’t the smartest thing Steve had done, but then again, Steve never really did think things through most of the time.

“Congratulations on your engagement.” Bucky laughed at that and finally turned around.

“You’re such an ass.”

“Tell me, how long did you ponder that decision, or was it just a whim?” Bucky’s face fell.

“You have no right to judge me on my rash decisions, Steve.” He hissed out.

“I’m not judging! I’m calling your ass right out! What made you think this is a good idea, huh? I may not like Connie, but proposing to her when you don’t even love her? That is low, even for you!”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about. I love Connie.” Steve laughed then.

“Do you, now?”

“I don’t have to listen to this…”

“Bucky, look.” Steve said, realizing that he was supposed to be trying to make things better between them. Not making things worse. “I kissed you and yes, that was wrong. I shouldn’t have done it. But you kissed me back.” Bucky didn’t say anything. He just looked at the floor and Steve saw him clench his fists. “That means something…”

“You took advantage of me…”

“It wasn’t my intention!” Steve said, taking a step forward. “I don’t know what happened with that other guy…”

“What?” Bucky asked, his head snapped up.

“What are you talking about?”

“That guy? Back in college? I don’t know his name, was it Alex? Was that his name?” Bucky’s eyes grew dark as he glared at Steve.

“How the fuck do you know about that?”

“I don’t know anything about it. Natasha just said…”

“Of course. Look Steve, you have no right to question me about something of my past. You know nothing about it…”

“I know I don’t know anything about it. But I want to know so I know what I did wrong. I want…”

“Well tough shit Steve, because I’m not telling you anything about it. As of right now, you are just as bad as he is.”

“What?” Steve was taken aback by that. “Bucky…”

Steve hadn’t done this right at all. This was supposed to be his chance to apologize to Bucky and set things right. But he had just made it worse.

“You know how you always said you couldn’t be with someone because your feelings for me were too strong? Wasn’t that what you were whining about before?”

“Bucky…” Bucky took a step forward until he was standing right in front of Steve.

“Well, now you know, I never felt anything for you, Steve Rogers.” Steve’s face fell. “Now you can go fuck Chase without feeling guilty about how I feel.” Steve’s jaw tightened as he glared down at Bucky.

“Fuck you Bucky.” He hissed out. “If you don’t want to see me again, fine. I will be happy to oblige you.” Steve said, before turning to leave, but he stopped when he saw Natasha standing in the doorway. He hadn’t even heard her walk in. Hadn’t even heard the door open. But it was obvious that she had heard some of their conversation. But Steve didn’t care at the moment. Steve just shoved passed her and made his way back to the living room.

He needed to get out of here.

He saw that everyone seemed to not have noticed him storming into the room. Good. That was good. But he needed to find Chase. He needed to find Chase and they needed to leave.

He found Chase talking with Peggy. Steve made his way over to him and grabbed him by the arm.

“Hey Chase. I’m not feeling too well. Do you think we can go?” Chase looked at him and Steve felt bad for worrying him. He felt bad for making them leave too, since Chase seemed to be actually enjoying himself.

“Steve.” Steve glanced over and saw Natasha walking over to him. Bucky was behind her, but he moved towards to where Connie was. Natasha walked over to them and grabbed Steve by the arm and pulled him off to the side. Chase just looked on, confused.

“What is it Natasha?” Steve hissed. He felt so exhausted.

“I told you to give Bucky some space. And what do you do? You confront him the first time you see him?”

“I know! But I just…”

“No. You both just made things a thousand times worse.” Well, at least she was putting the blame on both of them and not just Steve.

“Well, according to Bucky, I’m just as bad as whoever that Alex guy was. So, I don’t think there will be any reconciling anytime soon.” Natasha’s face fell.

“He said that?”

“I’m sorry, weren’t you listening in the whole time?” If looks could kill, Steve would be dead with the look Natasha sent him.

“You’re being an ass.” Steve let out a deep sigh and ran a hand over his face.

“I’m sorry Natasha. I don’t mean to ruin your happy day. I’m just, seeing Bucky today; it wasn’t what I was expecting.”

“I know.” She said as she crossed her arms. “This is the first I’ve seen him since he went to Memphis. I wasn’t expecting it either.”

“I’m still gonna go. It was good to see you Nat. Congratulations again.” Steve replied, giving her a quick kiss on the cheek before he went back to Chase. “You ready?”

“Yeah.” Chase said with a smile. Peggy looked over at Steve and Steve knew he would be questioned about it later, but he would deal with that when it came. He grabbed Chase by the hand and they made their exit.

Steve let out a deep breath when they reached outside and he felt so much more relaxed. Then again, knowing he was away from Bucky at the moment made his feel better too.

“Is everything alright?”

“Of course. I just needed some air, wasn’t feeling too well in there.” Steve replied with a small smile, continuing to walk towards Chase’s car. He hated lying to Chase, but he couldn’t tell Chase the truth.

“Are you sure it doesn’t have anything to do with Barnes?” Steve stopped walking and turned around. Chase hadn’t moved at all.

“What?”

“I saw you go off with him after the announcement. Did you two get into another fight or something?”

“You could say that. Look, I don’t want to talk about Bucky, okay?” Chase smiled and walked over to him.

“Okay. We won’t talk about him. But don’t lie to me again. You suck at it.” Steve laughed. He couldn’t deny that. He always knew he was a terrible liar.

“Alright, alright. But, can we just go back to yours or something? Maybe watch a movie?”

“Sure. Is it a Wizard of Oz kinda night?” Steve laughed as he put his arm around Chase, pulling him in close.

“Yeah. I could really use some Judy Garland right now.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So....I am feeling iffy about this chapter, but yeah, Bucky is an ass, but we will figure out the whole meaning behind his behavior later on. So don't be too harsh on him. And I'm sorry this chapter was so sort. I'll try and make up for it later.
> 
> Next chapter will have a little bit of a time gap, so we have that to look forward to!


	21. (125.)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! Sorry it's been a while. But I spent most of my time working on that other story and then things happened in my personal life and just ugh, but hey, I have another chapter! Yay!

_To : “Bucky” jbbarnes@gmail.com_   
_Subject: Canvas Completion_

_Dr. Barnes, I am just emailing you to let you know that the canvas’s you commissioned are now completed. I can drop them off at the clinic if you want or if you want to come pick them up, however you want them retrieved, just let me know. Attached are pictures of each one. Hopefully they are to your liking._

_-Steve Rogers_

Steve leaned back against his chair as he stared at the email. This was ridiculous. He hated having to be this formal with Bucky. The man who just a few months ago would text him the word ‘turgid’ out of the blue and then call him moments later laughing hysterically because he thought the word was hilarious.

It all seemed so ridiculous now.

But it was what Bucky wanted and that was what he was going to get.

Steve had called Bucky at the clinic a few days after Natasha’s party to ask about the canvas pieces he wanted. If Bucky still wanted them; Steve had the sudden fear that out of retaliation and hatred for Steve, Bucky went and destroyed the mural and everything. Bucky had said that he still wanted them, and to email him when they were completed. That it would just be a simple business transaction.

Simple.

And now, about two months later, Steve was done and ready to get rid of them.

He was actually quite proud of how they all turned out, and he really hoped that Bucky liked them, regardless of how things turned out between them. He hadn’t said a word to Bucky in these two months and he hated it.

He was used to talking to Bucky all the time. And now, well, Steve hadn’t even seen Bucky at all these past few months, let alone said three words to the guy.

It was horrible.

But it had given Steve exactly what he needed and for that, well, he may be miserable, but it was worth it. He just had to keep on believing that.

Steve hit send and stood up, stretching a bit.

These two months had been great for Steve, mentally. Sure he felt like shit, but he was trying to go back to the way things had been, before Brock and before Bucky.

Steve was starting on another book with Peter, which so far, it was turning out to be Steve’s favorite. He hung out more with Sam, Peggy and Sharon, something the four of them haven’t done since that night at the club, the night he met Bucky. Steve even went out with Natasha and Clint, most of the time it was double dates with him and Chase.

And Steve and Chase were doing great. He was content with their relationship and Chase seemed happy as well. It was nice being in a relationship with someone who actually wanted to be with you. Brock had been awful to him. And Peggy had been amazing, but things weren’t the same with her. He never felt this way before.

The only other time he had felt this way was with Bucky, and even that was different. His feelings for Bucky had been stronger than his were about Chase, but well. Things were changing. Steve would learn to let go over Bucky and move on completely.

Then Steve would be happy again.

He was beginning to feel like his old self again. He hadn’t felt like this in a long time and it was nice to be back. Everyone else seemed to agree as well.

Steve had his bad days, sure, especially when he was going through the pictures for the canvases. He would come across ones he had of him and Bucky and it all went downhill from there. He had them printed off and well, he couldn’t help but keep the ones of Bucky and of their trip. And Steve would just sit there and stare at the picture forever.

But Steve had found a picture he hadn’t noticed before. It was of Bucky and he was smiling directly at the camera. But he wasn’t posing, no, he was smiling at Steve. Steve had said something, he didn’t remember what it was now, but Bucky had turned and looked at him like that. And every time Steve looked at that picture, his heart melted a little bit inside, because that smile, that smile was the smile of someone in love.

And that would bring Steve off into another bout of depression and put him right back into his little rut again.

Steve snapped out of his thoughts when he heard his computer ping at him. He quickly sat back down and found that Bucky had responded to his email.

Well that was fast.

_To: “Steve Rogers” steverogers@gmail.com_   
_Subject: no subject_

_Natasha will be by today to pick them up. Thanks._

Wow. How brief. And he didn’t even mention if he liked them or not. What an ass. But, since he was having Natasha pick them up, he must like them.

Steve exited out of his email and made his way to the living room. Chase was still passed out on the couch. The TV was running in the background, filling the room with pointless noise. Steve just smiled as he walked over and switched the TV off.

Chase had pulled an all-nighter last night at work. Apparently there was some big project that Stark wanted finished and made Chase work late for it. Chase had come over after wards and crashed on the couch. And who was Steve to bother him when he was tired.

Steve grabbed a blanket and covered Chase up before making his way into the kitchen. He immediately opened the fridge and pulled out some ingredients to make himself a sandwich. As he was fixing his sandwich his phone went off.

He threw the knife in the sink and went to grab his phone. It was a text from Sam.

_On my way back home_

Steve smiled and sent off a quick reply before going back to his sandwich. Sam had been away for the weekend doing something for the VA. Steve normally would have taken full advantage of having Sam gone but, doing the canvas work and Chase working all the time, sadly, the weekend went by very uneventful.

When Steve had finished his sandwich, he started on making himself a cup of coffee. He didn’t know why, but coffee sounded very appealing right now. His coffee was almost done when there was a knock on the door.

That couldn’t be Natasha already. There was no way.

Steve made his way to the door and opened it and well, it was Natasha. And she didn’t look happy.

“Dr. Barnes? Really Steve, you had to be that formal?” Steve just shrugged.

“Hey, I’m just trying to be civil here. Wouldn’t want to do something wrong again.” Natasha just sighed as she walked in.

“Well I just spent the last ten minutes listening to Bucky bitch about the fact that you called him Dr. Barnes.” Steve almost wanted to laugh. He could imagine exactly how that conversation went. Steve almost wished he would have witnessed it.

“Well, he is a doctor, just giving him his proper title. And he wanted things to go back to being all formal again, so I decided to go with the whole formal artist/commissioner relationship, which includes calling him by his professional name of Dr. Barnes.” Natasha rolled her eyes and looked around the room. She took one look at Chase passed out on the couch then looked back up at Steve, raising an eyebrow. “Nope. Not me this time. Blame Stark.” Natasha just laughed as she walked passed Steve, glancing around.

“So, where are they at? I want to see them.” She said, turning around with a big smile on her face. She looked like a kid ready to open her presents on Christmas Day.

“Bucky didn’t show you the pictures I sent him?”

“Didn’t have time to. He was too busy complaining.” Steve did laugh at that. He could totally see Bucky doing that. Steve looked down because jesus, did he really miss Bucky. He took a deep breath and looked back up at Natasha.

“Follow me.” Steve said as he turned and made his way back to his studio. When Steve opened the door, he realized that Natasha had never been back here before. It was odd how many people he was allowing in here nowadays. It didn’t matter now, he trusted Natasha enough to allow her in here.

Steve walked into the room and made his way to where they were leaning against the wall. Natasha followed behind him and shut the door behind her. “Here.” Steve said as he pointed to the three canvas’s that were lined against the wall.

Steve had gone with three different looks of one waterfall. He made one very summerish, one fall going into winter and then one to represent spring. He thought they all went along very nicely and would look great in Bucky’s clinic. Natasha walked over to where they were sitting and knelt down next to them. She examined each one in silence.

Steve suddenly felt really nervous. What if they were bad? He liked them, but maybe his mind was warped a bit.

“Um, well, you know, I sort of manipulated the pictures I took a bit and made them my own, but well, do they look alright?”

“These are amazing Steve.” Natasha whispered, leaning forward so she could get a better look at them.

“You really think so?”

“Of course, and I’m always honest.” She said, smiling back at him. Steve smiled when he spotted the little ring on her left hand. She wasn’t wearing it at the party. And she hadn’t worn it on any of their double dates.

Apparently Clint hadn’t gotten it yet when he proposed. He didn’t quite have enough money for it yet, but it seems he finally got it now.

Natasha just radiated beauty now. Then again, she was always beautiful. But now, now she was usually always smiling and always seemed to be in a good mood. It was nice. Steve loved seeing people in love. It was really a rare occurrence to find someone who is truly happy. And Natasha, well, when she was with Clint, Steve could see that she was truly happy.

“How is he?” Steve asked, leaning against his desk. He never got the chance to really ask about Bucky to Natasha. Chase was usually always around and that just seemed a bit rude to Steve, asking about Bucky in front of Chase. Besides, he didn’t think Chase would appreciate knowing how in love Steve was, well, is, with Bucky. Natasha pulled herself back up and turned around and looked up at him, crossing her arms.

“Are you sure you want to pull on that thread, Steve?”

“Natasha…”

“You’ve been doing quite well for yourself, Steve. I’m really impressed.” Steve didn’t say anything. “You and Chase seem to be doing well. I’m proud of you.”

“I just asked a simple question.”

“He’s doing fine. He spends most of him time being pissed at me so...”

“About what?” Steve asked, finding it hard to believe that Bucky would still be upset with Natasha. At her party, they seemed to be alright.

“Everything.” Natasha replied, giving out a frustrated sigh. “I gave him a piece of my mind about him proposing to Connie once things calmed down and he didn’t quite appreciate that. I also brought up some other things that had occurred recently.” Steve had a feeling he knew what those other things were.

“But is he doing alright? He’s happy?” That’s all Steve wanted to know. If Bucky was actually happy, then everything would be alright. Steve was on his way to being happy; at least, he thought he was. If Bucky was too, then, everything would be alright.

“He thinks he is.” She answered. Steve didn’t like that answer.

“So, he isn’t happy?” Steve said, leaning back against his desk.

“He spends most of his time in that clinic of his. Connie has resorted to calling me to try and bring him home. It’s ridiculous.”

“Well, not really my problem anymore.”

“Steve…”

“Bucky wants nothing to do with me anymore. I’m trying to make him happy by following his orders.”

“Which is complete bullshit!” Natasha shouted. Steve straightened up fast.

“Are you siding with me on this? Because after everything that happened you seemed completely okay with taking Bucky’s side on this.”

“I’m not taking anyone’s side here. I am on my own side. And I will call out your ass or Bucky’s ass if you are doing something stupid. Bucky completely cutting you out of his life is stupid, as is you calling Bucky Dr. Barnes.” Steve just rolled his eyes.

“Natasha, just, Bucky wants to be with Connie. He has made that abundantly clear to both of us, on multiple occasions. Who are we to get in the way of that? I like Chase and I can be happy with Chase. And if Bucky can be happy with Connie, well then, let him have it.”

“That’s it, I give up.” Natasha said, moving towards the door. “Oh, wait.” She stopped and turned back around. Steve watched as she pulled out an envelope and handed it to him. Steve took it and looked back up at her.

“What’s this?”

“Your payment.” She said. Steve looked down at the envelope. Payment?

Oh. Right.

This was all a commission. Bucky had hired Steve for this. Meaning he was supposed to get paid for it. But all that seemed so long ago. He didn’t want to get paid for this. He was never in this for the money.

“Should be about $1500 in there, I think. Bucky did some weird calculation or something about that, with all your supplies and everything. He told me to tell you that he can give you more if you want. If you think it’s not enough.” Steve laughed and took the few steps forward so that he was now in front of Natasha.

“I can’t accept this.” He said, handing the envelope back at her. Natasha just looked at the envelope then back at him.

“What?”

“I can’t accept his money. Tell him the canvases are a gift. As is the mural.”

“Steve…” Natasha grabbed the envelope. “He isn’t going to like this. He is going to want to pay you back.”

“Then tell him all I want from him is his forgiveness.” When Natasha didn’t say anything Steve looked back up at her, only to find her smiling at him.

“Maybe you’re not so hopeless after all.” She said as she walked over to him and kissed him on the cheek. “Care to help me carry these to the car?” Steve smiled and nodded as he walked over to pick two of them up. Natasha grabbed the last one and walked out with him.

After they had loaded them in the car, Natasha turned her attention back to Steve.

“So, are you coming to his opening next week?” Steve closed the door and looked at her.

“I haven’t decided yet.”

“You can always bring Chase.” Steve laughed at that.

“Yeah, no. That is not a good idea at all. Besides, I think Chase already has plans. And well, I don’t think Bucky would want me there anyways.”

“Well, he hasn’t actually uninvited you yet. Besides, you worked on the clinic too. You deserve to be there for its’ grand opening.”

“I’ll see how I feel.”

“Alright. Well, I hope to see you there.” Steve just smiled as he started heading back up to the apartment.

“Goodbye Natasha.”

“Goodbye Steve.” Steve made his way back up to his apartment. When he walked in, Chase was sitting up, flipping through TV stations.

“You’re up.” Steve said, closing the door behind him before making his way over to the couch to press a quick kiss to Chase’s forehead.

“Yeah, and I’m still tired. Where did you go?”

“Oh, Natasha came by to pick up Bucky’s canvases.”

“Nice. Did she like them?”

“Yeah.” Steve said, sitting down on the couch next to Chase. “And I think Bucky liked them too.”

“Why didn’t he come over and get them himself?” Steve laughed and leaned back into the couch.

“Because he’s still pissed at me.”

“He can’t stay mad at you forever.”

“Bucky can, it seems.” Chase just smiled as he moved in closer to Steve, running his fingers across Steve’s thigh. Steve looked down and smiled, reaching out to grab Chase’s fingers.

Chase had been so busy with work lately, and Steve had been absorbed in the paintings, they haven’t had any alone time to themselves lately. It was nice to finally be alone again.

“Let’s not talk about Bucky anymore.” Steve didn’t say anything as he leaned forward and pressed a quick kiss to Chase’s lips.

“Got something else in mind?”

“Well…” Chase said, suddenly standing up. “As a matter of fact, I do.” Steve just smiled as Chase pulled him up off the couch. “Although, can’t say there is much talking involved.”

“I’m all ears.” Steve said, pulling Chase in close. Chase just smiled as he leaned forward, brushing his lips against Steve’s ear.

“Well…”

“Hello!” Steve jumped back as the front door slammed open and Sam waltzed in, singing along to some song only he knew.

Well, there went the mood. And the alone time.

“Hey Sam.” Steve said, giving Chase an apologetic look before making his way over to his friend. Sam glanced up and noticed that he must have interrupted something.

“Sorry. Should I have knocked before I entered my own home?” He asked. Steve just laughed.

“No. Of course not.” When Steve turned back around, Chase was back sitting on the couch, flipping through TV stations again.

“Did Barnes come and get his stuff?”

“Nope.” Steve replied, leaning against the counter. “He sent Nat to do that.”

“Of course he did. You know, I used to like Barnes, but now I’m starting to really hate the bastard.”

“Sam.” Steve whispered.

“I know. I know. But seriously, how can you put up with his bullshit?” Steve just shrugged. He hated it, but he couldn’t find it in himself to actually hate Bucky. He knew that if he did that, things would be a lot easier.

It would sure make getting over Bucky a lot easier.

But, Steve knew, deep down, he knew that Bucky didn’t mean all of those things. That he cared about Steve. Somehow. Bucky was just scared or something.

“Steve?” Steve looked over and found that Chase was now walking over to him.

“Yes?”

“I’m gonna go. I need to shower and everything…”

“You can shower here. I thought we were going to go out tonight?” Chase smiled and leaned forward, pressing a quick kiss to his lips.

“I’ll be back to get you.” Chase then leaned forward, whispering in Steve’s ear. “We can crash at my place tonight.” Steve smiled.

“Alright.” Chase nodded and headed to the door.

“Good to see you Sam!” Chase said as he walked out. Sam waited a few minutes before he spoke again.

“So, you and Chase. How are things going? He servicing you well?” Steve choked on his own spit as he looked up at Sam.

“Really Sam? Servicing me?”

“Hey, I gotta know that my friend is getting laid again. Lord knows you haven’t fucked anyone since Brock.” Steve just looked at him, not really believing that Sam was really asking about his sex life.

“Sam…”

“Alright, so besides the sex, everything going alright?”

“You know they’re going well.”

“Yeah, but what I see and what is really going on are two different things. You know that.”

“Things are good. I mean, I really like Chase.”

“But you still love Bucky.” Steve let out a frustrated sigh.

“Yes. I hate it. I don’t know why I feel like this. There are days where I don’t even think about Bucky. Life is good, I am hanging out with Chase or you guys and then just, out of nowhere, he slithers his way back into my thoughts and then I’m miserable all over again.”

“Do you want to know what I think?”

“You’re going to tell me anyways.” Sam just smiled before getting all serious again.

“Okay, listen. I think you moved on to Chase too quickly. I think, after the whole Bucky fiasco, you should have given yourself time to grieve, to move on properly.”

“But I didn’t.”

“No. You bounced right onto Chase, which, there is nothing wrong with that. Chase is a good guy. He is good for you. But, now you have all this guilt because any time you think about Bucky, you think you are hurting Chase and really, this will all just end badly if you can’t get a firm grip on your feelings.”

And well, Sam just hit the nail on the head. That was exactly what Steve was feeling.

“So what should I do?”

“There’s really nothing you can do. Except get over Bucky. You either do that, or you don’t. Just try not to feel guilty about it with Chase. He’s a good guy. You don’t want to hurt him.”

“That’s what I’m afraid of. I don’t love Chase. I know that. What I feel when I am with him, is, well, it’s nothing I have ever felt before.”

“But it’s not love?”

“No. When I was with Bucky, I felt like I could be with him for the rest of my life. With Chase, I’m just happy. It almost just feels like a temporary distraction.”

“Well, do you think you might want to tell Chase that?”

“No. I like Chase. And I want to be with him. But as of right now, I know this isn’t going to last. But I want to hang on to this while I can.”

“Well, I can’t tell you what to do, so you just do what you feel is right.”

“But?”

“But. I think you need to get your ass over Barnes, or go do something about it.” Sam then turned and made his way to his room. Steve was a little bit shocked by his statement.

It was weird coming from Sam’s mouth. Do something about it? What could Steve possibly do that would fix all of this?

Nothing. That’s what.

Steve had done everything he could. He just needed Bucky to make the first move, to apologize, or something. And then Steve could decide what to do.

But right now, right now he had a date to get ready for.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading guys and let me know what you think!
> 
> Coming up, Party for Bucky's Clinic opening! :)


	22. (130.)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! I am SO sorry for taking so long to update. I was planning on updating like...a while ago, but some personal stuff came up and I literally had no time to write. But thanks for being patient with me. You are all amazing!

Steve looked at himself in the mirror and frowned.

“I’m sure it isn’t that bad. You probably look as handsome as you always do.” Chase’s voice echoed throughout the room from where Steve’s phone rested on his bed. Chase was out of town visiting his family this weekend which left Steve nothing to do but go to Bucky’s party.

He didn’t want to go. He shouldn’t go. But deep down, he knew he had to go. He needed to go.

He hadn’t seen Bucky in almost two months.

He NEEDED to see him again.

And as much as he knew that going to the party wouldn’t be a good idea, he was going to go. T

hat being said, he had to make sure he looked his best. Last time he had seen Bucky, he hadn’t really impressed anyone, so now, now he had to make sure that he looked good.

Steve had gone with a simple black button-up and his nicest pair of jeans. He trimmed his beard so he didn’t look like a complete homeless guy. And he still wasn’t satisfied.

“I just, why aren’t you here with me?” Chase laughed and Steve let himself smile, just for a second, before going back to worrying about his clothes.

After Steve’s little talk with Sam, Steve thought for a while about him and Chase. And well, Steve knew he liked Chase. He liked being with Chase and he liked who was when he was with Chase.

He may not be in love with Chase, but he was going to enjoy this while he could. Chase never gave him any indication that he saw this as long term as well. So, as of right now, everything was good. He was happy, so he was going to continue being happy.

“Trust me Steve, if my mother was born on any other day I would be there with you, but sadly, today is her birthday so I have to be with her.”

“I know. I just, what if there is no one there to talk to?”

“Steve, what kind of stupid question is that?” Steve sighed and turned around, going to pick up his phone.

It was a stupid question. Of course there would be people there that he knew. Natasha and Clint would be there. Sam said he would think about stopping by. Peggy might even stop by with Sharon. Bruce and Betty would probably be there, as would Thor and Jane.

There would probably be a ton of people there that Steve knew. Steve and Bucky shared friends now.

“I know, I know, I just…”

“Steve, if you don’t want to go, then don’t go. Don’t let anyone bully you into going.”

“I want to go.” He wants to see Bucky. Even if it is seeing him being happy with someone else. He wanted to see him.

“Well then, go and stop worrying about it. Jut let me know how it goes. And send me a picture. I want to see how handsome you look.” Steve smiled.

“Alright. I will call you later?”

“Looking forward to it.” Steve just smiled as he hung up the phone. He took one last look in the mirror before walking out.

Sam was sitting on the couch in a pair of sweatpants and an old shirt. Steve frowned.

“I thought you were coming to the clinic?” Steve asked. Sam had said that he was going to think about going, which translated into he was going to go with Steve and then sneak away later. But still, he was going to go with Steve. Sam was his ride. Besides, Steve didn’t want to show up alone.

“Nah. Barnes wouldn’t want me there anyways.”

“Sam.” Maybe Steve shouldn’t go. Maybe this all was just just on huge mistake. Steve should just stay home.

“You can borrow my truck again. I don’t care.”

“Maybe I should just not go.” Sam stopped staring at the TV and finally looked over at him.

“No, you’re going. You are lookin’ hella fine. Make Barnes wish he hadn’t been a complete ass to you.”

“I’m not looking to impress him.” Sam just raised an eyebrow. “I’m not!”

“Sure you’re not. You just spent that last two hours doing what exactly?” Steve sent a small glare his way. “You know, Peggy told me that Barnes cut all his hair and was looking all amazing at Natasha’s party.”

“Yeah, so?” Steve didn’t need reminding of that.

“Did you ever question why?”

“Because he doesn’t care? This didn’t affect him at all.”

“No you dipshit.” Sam said before pulling himself from the couch and making his way over to where Steve was. “He was trying to make himself seem good. To make you think that he didn’t care. Why, I’m positive he looked like shit the day before that thing.”

“I doubt it. But Sam, look, let’s not talk about it. I don’t want to overthink everything.”

“Fine. Then don’t go to the party. But we both know that you will. You want to go.”

“I never said I didn’t want to go. I want to see him. I do.”

“Then get your ass out of here. Go. If you get too uncomfortable, then leave. Simple as that.” Steve let out a small sigh. Sam always made things seem so simple. Maybe Steve was just overthinking everything.

“Fine. I will see you later then?” Sam just nodded as he walked back over to the couch. Steve turned and grabbed Sam’s keys from the little bowl they always sat in and walked out of the apartment.

* * *

By the time Steve got to the clinic, it seemed that everyone else was already there. Steve ended up having to park about a block away.

When he walked up to the clinic, he stopped. He looked up at it and it seemed that everything came rushing back to Steve. He probably shouldn’t even be here. What if Bucky yelled at him in front of everyone for being there? Steve didn’t think he could handle being yelled at by Bucky again. Especially in front of other people. Being alone in a motel was enough. Steve quickly shook those thoughts away.

He could do this.

He had a right to be here. He helped with this clinic. He deserved to see what the finished product was.

He took one big deep breath and stepped inside.

The first thing he noticed was the music. He could hear the faint sound of music traveling through the room. He smiled a bit as he realized that it was classical music. He could also see that there were some decorations around the room a well.

The next thing that Steve noticed was that there was quite the crowd here. It didn’t feel like it was packed, but there was really quite a few people that had showed up. Steve could recognize a few people, he reconized the receptionists that Bucky had hired, and a few of the nurses, but a majority of the people he didn’t know. He assumed that they were probably Bucky’s family or something.

Steve glanced around and looked at what the clinic looked like, beneath all the decorations, of course. From what he could see, the clinic looked amazing. The chairs in the waiting room were all done (and looked so much better than before), the walls were all painted, and well, from what Steve could see, Bucky had hung up Steve’s canvases. They were each hanging up on a wall in the waiting room.

Steve couldn’t help but smile. It looked amazing. Everything came together perfectly. He knew that it was all going to turn out amazing, but this, this was so much better than he was expecting.

He was pulled from his thoughts when he heard his name.

“Steve!” Steve turned around just in time to see Becca Barnes walk up to him and pull him into a giant bear hug.

“Ooh. Hey Becca.” Steve replied, wrapping his arms around her. He hadn’t seen Becca in forever. It was nice to see she didn’t hate him now.

“It’s been so long.” Becca said, pulling away. “Where have you been?” Steve’s face fell. Had Bucky not mentioned that he and Steve were not talking anymore? Bucky seemed like the kind of person that would tell Becca everything.

“Um, well, I’ve been busy…” But Becca wasn’t really looking at him. In fact, she was looking around, as if she was looking for someone.

“Oh, I want you to meet our parents.” Becca said, grabbing Steve’s hand and pulling him through the crowd.

No. No. No. Hell No.

Steve did not want to meet Bucky’s parents. That was not on his list of things to do today.

“Becca, really, it is quite alright. I don’t have to…” But she just ignored him cutting him off.

“Mom!” Becca said. She stopped in front of an elderly couple. The woman was smiling and well, she looked like Becca. She looked friendly and she reminded Steve of his own mother.

“What is it sweetie?” The woman asked. Her voice was soft and rather calming.

“I want you to meet Steve. Steve, this is my mother, Winifred Barnes. Mom, this is Steve Rogers.”

“Hello.” Steve said, smiling and stretching out his hand to shake Mrs. Barnes’s. Winifred Barnes smiled, eagerly reaching up to shake Steve’s hand.

“Steve Rogers? James’s Steve?” Steve tensed up. Oh great, even his parents had heard of Steve.

“The very one.” Winifred smiled.

“Oh, James has told us all about you. George, George, you must meet Steve.” A tall man Steve hadn’t noticed before turned around and well, the man looked just like Bucky. He even had Bucky’s smile.

“What is it honey?” The man said, glancing from Winifred to Steve to Becca.

“This is Steve. Remember? James hired him to do the mural in the other room.”

“Right.” George stepped forward and grabbed Steve’s hand. “Brilliant work, young man. Just brilliant.”

“Thank you.” Steve responded, his smile coming back.

“Steve here has also illustrated a lot of children’s books as well. You know, Peter Parker’s book series? Steve did all of those.”

“Did he? How interesting.” Winifred said. “Have you always wanted to be an illustrator?” George asked and Steve nodded, going on about how he was always interested in art and wanted to make sure it had some sort of effect on people, especially kids.

Winifred then went on to explain how both Bucky and Becca had an affinity with children. And how they both went on to do jobs that dealt with helping children as well. Steve did his part, he listened, commented when needed and smiled and laughed when appropriate.

Becca just stood next to Steve, big smile on her face.

Steve couldn’t help but feel that all of this just seemed weird. Of course Steve had always wanted to meet Bucky’s parents. But he figured when he met them, that Bucky would be standing next to him, not Becca (not that there was anything wrong with Becca introducing them, just, it all seemed a bit weird). Becca was acting like nothing had happened between him and Bucky. Their parents were acting the same way. Had Bucky not mentioned anything to them?

Steve was rescued from the Barnes’s when someone else came up and snatched them away. Steve was about to head off to get a drink when Becca grabbed his arm and dragged him off to small little corner.

“Okay, you better spill me some details because Bucky isn’t mentioning anything.” Steve’s eyes widened as he looked down at her.

“Um…what do you mean?” Becca just rolled her eyes and crossed her arms over her chest, giving Steve her best ‘are you serious’ look.

“Puh-lease, something happened between you two. One day Bucky goes on and on and on about how amazing you are and all that and how you two are going to take this amazing roadtrip together and then the next, he says absolutely nothing about you. Something happened. What is it?”

“Becca…”

“Steve.” Steve let out a small sigh as he ran a hand over his face.

“Fine. Fine.” He replied, taking a deep breath. “When we went on our little trip together, I um….” Steve looked around, looking at anything other than Becca. “I kissed him.” He mumbled out, looking down at the floor.

Becca was silent. She didn’t say anything and that worried him. He glanced up and saw that she was just looking at him. Steve was about to say something when someone came up and grabbed him by the arm.

“Steve, so glad you could make it.” Steve looked over and found Natasha smiling up at him. She looked as radiant as always in a simple black dress. She was practically glowing next to him.

“Natasha.” Steve whispered. He was positive that no one heard him. Natasha just smiled before looking back at Becca.

“You mind if I borrow him?” Natasha didn’t give Becca time to respond as she pulled Steve away. “I’m happy that you came.” Natasha said as she guided him through the party.

“Well, at least you’re happy.” Steve responded. He looked around and he finally started seeing some people he knew. He figured that’s where Natasha was taking him. Natasha knew him all too well.

“Not having a good time?”

“Not exactly.” Natasha stopped walking and turned to face him.

“I saw you talking with the Barnes’s. How was that?”

“Fine, actually. Just a little weird.”

“How so?” She asked and Steve could tell that she was enjoying this. She probably watched the whole encounter, waiting for the perfect opportunity to snatch him away.

“When I had imagined meeting Bucky’s parents, I wasn’t really expecting to be introduced to them by his sister.”

“How did you imagine it then? That you would meet them with Bucky on your arm?” Steve gave her a pointed look before he spotted Bruce chatting with Clint. “Steve…”

“Bruce.” Steve said, moving passed Natasha and making his way over to where Bruce was standing with Clint. He hated brushing Natasha off like this, but, well, he was done with that conversation.

“Steve. How are you doing?” Bruce said, moving to shake Steve’s hand. “It’s been a while.” Clint just nodded as he noticed Natasha walking up next to him.

“Where’s Chase?” Clint asked as he handed a drink over to Natasha.

“He had other plans.” Steve asked, grabbing a drink for himself. He was way too sober for all of this. He chugged down the first glass of champagne and went for his second one. “So, where is Bucky?” Steve finally asked, trying not to make his feelings obvious. But really, this whole time he had been here, he hadn’t spotted Bucky once. It was an honest question and he hoped he had pulled it off asking subtlely.

But when he looked up he realized that he had not been subtle in asking at all, because Clint, Natasha and Bruce were just staring at him. Natasha and Clint were smirking at him and Bruce, well, at least Bruce looked like he felt bad for Steve.

“What?” Steve asked and Natasha just smiled as she motioned for something over Steve’s shoulder. Steve slowly turned around and well, there was Bucky.

With Connie.

Steve’s couldn’t see much, but Bucky was standing next to Connie, his arm around her waist as they both chatted with someone. As Steve looked closer, he saw that the woman they were talking to was Pepper, and that meant that Tony Stark was here.

Great.

Steve would have to make sure to avoid him at all costs if he could.

He didn’t dislike Tony, he just had nothing really to say to him. What does one say to one of the richest and smartest people in the world?

Nothing that wouldn’t make Steve look like an idiot. So Steve avoids Tony like the plague.

Anyways, back to Bucky. Bucky looked amazing. He looked as gorgeous as ever. Of course Steve always thought that Bucky looked gorgeous. But, he didn’t look as put together as he had the night of Natasha’s dinner. Bucky wasn’t clean shaven, and his hair was growing out again.

Bucky was wearing a pastel yellow shirt (Steve didn’t think he had ever seen Bucky wear something that light before) and dark grey slacks. It reminded Steve of Easter. Steve couldn’t help but smile. Bucky still looked as good as he always did.

But it made Steve think back to what Sam had said earlier, about Bucky trying to put on a show. Did he not expect Steve to show up here? And that was why he looked so relaxed and not in full pristine mode.

Steve was pulled from his observation when he felt his phone vibrate in his pocket. He looked up at the others and quickly made up an excuse and made his exit.

He found a small secluded spot in the corner and pulled out his phone. It was from Chase. He had sent a picture of his mother’s birthday cake.

_How is the party?_

Steve smiled and sent off a quick reply. _It’s fine. Wish you were here though._

Steve put his phone away when a pair of white heels entered his line of sight. He glanced up and found Connie making her way over to him. And she looked determined so Steve knew there was no way he was getting away from her.

“Steven.” She said, stopping in front of him. Oh full name. Connie meant business.

“What can I do for you, Connie?” Steve asked as Connie just glared at him. She crossed her arms and even poked her hip out. Steve almost wanted to laugh. Almost. But he knew that wouldn’t get him much in this conversation. And he really needed to play nice here. “Did I tell you congratulations on your engagement?” Steve said, and boy did that strike a nerve. She glared daggers at him as he just smirked down at him.

“You really are an asshole.” She hissed out.

“I have no idea what you mean. I mean it, congratulations. I hope you and Bucky are very happy together.” Her glare faded away as she looked up at him. She didn’t say anything for a while. She was probably trying to see if Steve was being serious or not.

“You mean that?”

“Connie.” Steve said, taking a step forward. “Look, I know you and I don’t really get along well, but, I love Bucky too, okay. And I want what is best for him. I want him to be happy. If he is happy with you, then I will want him to be with you.”

“You really are something else, Steve.” Steve just shrugged as he maneuvered passed her. He saw the playroom in the distance and he had wanted to see it for a while now. See if Bucky had changed anything since their fight.

Steve walked up to the room and took a deep breath before opening the door. He stepped inside and was quite relieved that everything still looked the same.

Meaning, the mural was still the same.

Steve shut the door behind him and looked around. The room was done completely and it was weird because Steve hadn’t been in here since he finished the mural. It was strange. The other walls were painted up and there were small tables and chairs around the room.

Steve saw some small toys splattered across the room and even some coloring books lying about. Steve walked around and looked at everything he could. It was amazing. Bucky did a fantastic job decorating everything. Steve had never expected all of this would look this great. Sure Bucky was amazing and all, but seeing everything revolving around Steve’s mural…It was something else.

Just then something caught his eye. There was a small book shelf off to the side of the room. Steve quickly made his way over and looked at the books. They were all the books that Peter had sent over to Bucky. Steve was surprised to see that Bucky had actually put them all out. He figured he would have sent them all back. Steve then noticed a small framed picture off to the side.

It was a picture of Steve, but Steve had never seen it before. He leaned forward to try and get a better look at it. He couldn’t imagine when someone would have taken this picture of him (and him not know it). It wasn’t the best quality, but Steve was sitting…in his own apartment? And he was laughing. He wasn’t even looking at the camera.

Who in the hell took this picture? Had Bucky taken it? Had Bucky gotten the picture from someone else?

He would deal with all that later. Steve glanced down below the picture and saw that there was a little paragraph below it. Interesting.

Before Steve could read it, the door to the room opened. Steve quickly straightened up and turned around.

It was Bucky.

Bucky was standing in the doorway and he looked conflicted. He was looking at Steve, his hand still on the door knob, most likely determining whether or not he should stay in the room or leave.

“Steve.” Bucky whispered. Steve felt the breath leave him for a second. He hadn’t even realized how much he had missed hearing Bucky’s voice.

“Bucky.” Steve responded, smiling as Bucky stepped away from the door.

“I’m surprised you came.” Bucky said lightly, walking over to him. Steve shoved his hands in his pockets and focused on a small paint spot on the floor.

“I wasn’t going to actually, but well…” Steve started, looking back up at Bucky. Bucky was just staring at him. And if Steve didn’t know any better, Bucky actually looked happy to see him. “I know how hard you worked on this place. I wanted to see how it all turned out.” Bucky smiled, and it was a real smile. Steve had missed that smile.

“It was quite the pain in the ass, but well, it’s all done now.”

“I like what you did in here. It turned out great.”

“Your paintings…” Bucky stopped short, looking down at his feet, kicking at something invisible in the carpet. “They were amazing. They make the room a lot better.” Bucky finally spit out.

“I’m glad you liked them. I was worried that you wouldn’t.”

Steve finally took the time to actually look at Bucky. Now he can see how Bucky really looked. Steve thought Bucky always looked good (he was biased okay), but he could see now that Bucky didn’t look as healthy as he had before.

He had dark circles under his eyes, showing that sleep was something that Bucky probably never saw anymore. His shirt was rumpled, as were his pants. He just looked exhausted.

Steve figured a majority of that had to be getting the clinic ready. But maybe Bucky had actually looked like this at Natasha’s party?

“Steve…” Bucky started, taking another step forward. “Why didn’t you take the damn money?” Of course. He should have known Bucky would bring that up.

“Consider them all a gift.”

“No. Steve.” Bucky sounded more agitated now. “No. This, everything was a damn business transaction. You did this with every intention of getting paid and you are going to get paid.” Bucky reached into his pocket and pulled out a small envelope. “Take the money Steve.”

“Bucky, no.”

“Why not?”

“I don’t want you thinking that any of this was for the money.” Bucky let out a small sigh.

“Steve, this is me thanking you for everything you have done for this clinic.”

“Well then, consider my services free of charge. For a friend.”

“Are we friends?” Bucky asked and dammit, Steve didn’t want to go through all of this again. He was tired of hearing the same things, over and over again.

“Yes Bucky, I think we are friends. At least, that’s what I want. I don’t know how much I can apologize for what I did, but this will be my last time. I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have kissed you, that was poor judgement on my part. I see that now. If I could go back in time, I wouldn’t have done it that way.”

“But you would have done it anyways?”

“I have feelings for you Bucky. I can't deny that. You are an amazing person. I loved getting to know you. But, you are with Connie and I am with Chase. I just want you to be happy. I would still like to be friends with you. I really enjoy having you in my life. I want you in my life.”

Bucky didn’t say anything. He just remained looking at the floor.

“I am willing to overlook these past two months and just try and continue our friendship from where we left off. The ball’s in your court now. Can you put all of this behind you?” Bucky still remained silent. “I thought we made some really good friends. I was a lot happier with you in my life and I thought you were too. If you really don’t want any of that back, then this will be a goodbye. I won’t interfere in your life anymore. I wish you all the luck with the clinic and your upcoming marriage with Connie.” Steve gave him one last smile before walking passed him and leaving the room.

Once the door closed behind him, Steve let out a deep breath. He felt a thousand times lighter. It was like all his worries and stress had just washed away and he felt like a new man.

“There you are.” Steve looked up and found Peggy walking towards him. “Didn’t think you were going to show up.” She grabbed him by the arm and leaned up and pressed a quick kiss to his cheek.

“Well, couldn’t really miss it, you know?” Peggy just smiled and pulled him back into the party. “Where’s Sharon?”

“Oh, something came up so she couldn’t make it.” Steve just nodded. Sharon was quite busy these days. “I caught up with Natasha. She said you met Mr. and Mrs. Barnes.”

“I did. They are lovely people.” Peggy just smiled.

“So, what were you doing in the mural room?”

“I was seeing how everything turned out, y’know? I haven’t been in there since I finished the mural.”

“Mmhhhmmm.” Peggy was looking behind him now. Steve glanced over and saw Bucky walk out of the mural room. Steve sighed.

“Bucky came in later.”

“And what did you two chat about?”

“Nothing too important. But I gave him the ultimatum.”

“Ultimatum?”

“Yes. I told him I still want to be friends with him, but we will have to put all of this behind us. If he can’t do that, I told him that I wouldn’t bother him anymore.”

“Interesting.” Peggy replied.

“Should I have said something else?”

“Nope. I think what you said is fine. You are taking inititive and being the better person. You are letting Bucky make his decision based on what he is comfortable with. You did a good job.”

“I feel a lot better.”

“Do you?” She topped walking and turned to look at him.

“I do. I feel like I have been worrying about this for the past few months and it really has taken a toll on me. Coming head to head with it, it just feels like a big relief. I put everything out on the table. It’s up to Bucky to see what happens now.”

“Can you actually go back to being friends with him? If he decides that he wants to be friends again.”

“I can try.” Peggy nodded, glancing around at everyone else.

“I want something greasy. Want to grab a burger?” Steve smiled.

“That sounds amazing actually. Let’s go.” Peggy just smiled as she grabbed Steve’s hand and pulled him outside.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading guys!
> 
> Let me know what you guys think! :)


	23. (141.)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Once again, thanks to everyone for reading, commenting, leaving kudos and subscribing. You are all amazing! :)

“What do you mean you haven’t seen The Full Monty?” Steve shouted, flabbergasted, as he stared at his boyfriend in shock. Chase just smiled weakly as he turned to Sam, as if he was looking for help.

“Don’t look at me man. Steve made me watch it years ago.” Chase just laughed.

“I haven’t even heard of this movie.” Steve was just speechless as he stood up and grabbed the movie from his collection and popped it in.

“I can’t believe it. This movie is a classic.”

“Are you sure about that?” Chase replied with a laugh.

“One guy, Gaz, played by the amazing Robert Carlyle, is about to lose custody of his son, so he and his best friend and a couple of other guys who are unemployed decide to become one night only strippers to raise money. It’s amazing!”

“So, it’s like Magic Mike is?” Chase replied. Steve just scoffed as he sat back down on the couch.

“No.” Sam laughed. “This movie is so much better, believe me. In this movie, you see, these guys are every day guys. Not the typical model celebrity that you see in every other movie. I just, I don’t know. It just seemed more real to me, that’s probably why I enjoyed it more. Plus it’s hilarious.” Once the menu popped up Steve reached over and pressed play before settling back into the couch. “You’ll love this movie, trust me.” Steve said with a smile as he reached over and grabbed Chase’s hand, giving it a comforting squeeze.

* * *

An hour into the movie and Chase was already laughing his head off. Steve just smiled as he marked this as another victory for him. Sam seemed to be enjoying himself as well, but Steve could tell he probably wished he had made some other plans.

Steve was in process of making some popcorn for the three of them when there was a knock on the door. Sam perked up and glanced over at Steve. That meant Sam wasn’t expecting anyone and Steve wasn’t expecting someone either.

Who could it be?

Especially at this time? Not that it was late or anything, but usually people gave either of them some sort of notice before coming over.

Steve set the bowl he had been holding down and walked over to the door.

When he opened it, the last person he expected to see was Bucky Barnes. Yet there he stood.

“Hey Steve.” Bucky said quietly, giving Steve a small smile.

“Buck.” Steve whispered. Steve really couldn’t do anything. He couldn’t move. He couldn’t say anything else. He just stood where he was and stared. Bucky Barnes was at his apartment. He wasn’t ready for this.

“Can I come in?” Bucky asked, pulling Steve from his little trance.

“Um yeah. Sure.” Steve said, stepping away. Bucky walked in. He wasn’t dressed up today, instead going for the whole sweatpants and hoodie look. His hands were dug deep into his hoodie pockets and everything about this just screamed awkward. Steve watched as Bucky glanced over at the couch, taking in Sam and Chase.

“I hope I wasn’t interrupting anything.” Bucky said as he turned back to look at Steve.

“Oh, we were just watching a movie.” Steve said, glancing back over at Sam and Chase. They were both looking over at them, movie paused and everything. Great. It’s good to know that they had an audience now.

“Oh, well, maybe I should just go…”Bucky said, turning to leave. Steve stopped him.

“Was there something you wanted? You can always watch it with us. We won’t mind.”

“Oh, right. I um, was wondering if I um, could maybe talk with you? Privately? If that’s alright.” Bucky wasn’t even looking at him.

“Sure.” Steve replied quietly, turning to head towards his bedroom. He opened the door and let Bucky walk in. Steve glanced back at Chase and Sam. Chase just looked confused and Sam looked concerned. Steve just shrugged as he turned on the light and walked in, shutting the door behind him.

Bucky was facing away from him, looking down at his bed. Steve looked down at his feet before taking a large step forward. He needed to get this over with.

“Bucky…”

“First off.” Bucky said, turning around. “I would like to apologize.” Steve’s mouth gaped open because really? Bucky was apologizing to him. He was actually apologizing.

“Um….” Steve started because honestly, that was not what he had been expecting. He didn’t know what he had been expecting, but it wasn’t that. The last time he had talked to Bucky, sure he had given him an ultimatum, but Steve hadn’t really thought about that since then. It had been over a week, and he had heard nothing from Bucky.

So yeah, Steve was a little bit surprised.

“I need to explain some things to you.”

“Bucky…”

“No. Steve, just…I should have told you all of this a long time ago. You have always been so open with me and now, now I feel like I owe you all of this.”

“Buck, you don’t owe me anything…”

“Well, I’m gonna tell you anyways so just shut up and listen.” Steve promptly closed his mouth and let Bucky take the floor. “Okay.” Bucky took a deep breath. “First off, I overreacted when you kissed me. I…I shouldn’t have flipped out on you like that.”

“It’s perfectly understandable. I took advantage of the situation and that was wrong.” Steve replied.

“No you didn’t. It wasn’t… I should have acted calm but, my mind just reverted back and just, I flipped out on the wrong person.”

Steve watched as Bucky started pacing. Bucky wasn’t saying anything at the moment but Steve wasn’t going to rush him. He was going to let Bucky have his space and let him take his time. Obviously this was something that had really affected him and Steve was not going to rush him in any way.

“I had someone, like Brock was to you, before Connie.” Steve looked up and saw that Bucky wasn’t looking at him anymore. He wasn’t even facing him. Steve had a feeling he knew who it was. The mysterious Alex person Steve had heard about.

“Alex.” Steve whispered. Steve could see Bucky nod.

“Yes. Alexander Pierce.” Steve felt the breath leave him at the name. Sure he didn’t know the guy, but, it was indeed a guy. “He was, well, I met him in college. I was this little rambunctious little fuck of a guy, willing to try anything, do anything. College was my time to experiment.” Steve nodded. “I have never found myself attracted to a guy before. And really, I wasn’t attracted to Pierce. He was older…I…I honestly don’t even remember when I met him. Or where.”

“What happened?”

“We started hanging out. I would go over to his house. He was filthy rich. He would buy me things, take me out. He would give me alcohol and you know, other stuff. That’s probably why I don’t remember much actually. But things were going good. But then he changed. He started being more forceful. He started saying things to me. It just…” Steve saw Bucky’s shoulders shake and he took a step forward. He reached out and placed a hand on his shoulder. Bucky jumped and turned around.

Steve could see the wetness on Bucky’s cheeks and he quickly pulled Bucky into a hug. Bucky instantly wrapped his arms around Steve and Steve could feel Bucky crying into his shoulder.

They stood there in silence. All he could hear was Bucky’s small sobs into his shoulder. Steve lost track of how much time they spent in that tight embrace, but Bucky finally pulled himself away.

“He took advantage of me, all the fuckin’ time and I just took it. I didn’t do anything about it. I didn’t see anything wrong.” Bucky took a deep breath. “Natasha finally talked some sense into me and I left that stupid bastard behind me.” Steve didn’t say anything.

He didn’t know what to say.

“But you are nothing like that man, Steve.” Steve, again, was at a loss for words. Even if he could speak, he didn’t know what he would say. What he could say.”I should have never said that you were like him because, you could never be like him.” Steve felt a little comforted at that. “I, I have been thinking a lot about what you said before.”

“Have you?” Steve squeaked out.

“I am happy with Connie.” Bucky said, finally looking Steve in the eye. “I love her well, I may have rushed into an engagement because I was hurt, but, I am happy.” Steve smiled.

“That’s all I want for you, Buck. To be happy. As long as you’re happy, then I am happy, for you.”

“And…are you happy with Chase?” Steve was silent for a bit. How was he supposed to answer this? Steve would be a thousand times happier if he was with Bucky, but Chase didn’t make him miserable. But Steve knew he wasn’t as happy as he should be.

“I’m not unhappy.” Bucky nodded.

“I want you to be happy too Steve. I know that Connie and I have a lot to deal with, but I’m gonna try and make this work. And well, I want you there with me. Y’know?” Steve closed his eyes for a quick second.

If Bucky was going to ask Steve to be his best man when he decided to actually get married, Steve didn’t know what he was going to do. Steve didn’t know if he could do that. Watch the man he loved get married to someone who wasn’t him.

“Steve?”

“Yeah?” Steve said, opening his eyes again and giving Bucky a small smile.

“I miss our friendship and I know that it will take a lot of work as well, but I’m willing to try and make it work. I hope that one day, perhaps we can get back to where we once were, being friends and all that.”

“I would like that very much.” Steve responded. “That’s all I really wanted.” Bucky smiled and Steve really missed seeing that smile actually pointed at him.

“Great.”

But where does this leave them exactly? There was a lot of work to be done with their friendship. Everything still seemed awkward between them. How does one make things not awkward?

“Um, do you want to stay and watch a movie with us?” Steve asked, running his fingers through his hair. “The movie we were watching is almost over, but we can put another one in.” Steve was back to feeling like a teenager asking someone out. He was so nervous and awkward. It was just to watch a movie. He shouldn’t be acting like this, especially with Bucky.

“I don’t want to intrude…”

“Nonsense. I’m sure Sam is feeling a little like a third wheel right now. He would love the company.” Bucky laughed.

“He probably doesn’t want my company.”

“What? Sam would…” But Bucky just raised an eyebrow and well, okay. So Sam still wasn’t that fond of Bucky still, but Bucky shouldn’t know that. Unless Sam had said something? But Sam wouldn’t have done that. Steve would have known about it.

“It’s alright. Connie will probably be wondering where I am anyways. I should probably go.”

“Okay.” Steve said lamely. Jesus, this was going to be awkward for a while. Maybe Peggy had a point. Could they really be friends after all of this? Had they ever actually been friends? Steve had been crushing on him ever since they first met. But they still had been friends? Right?

Whatever. Steve was sure that in time, things would get better. Hopefully. Would their encounters get better? Or would they always be this awkward? Steve was thrown from his thoughts by a hand gripping his chin. His body tensed as he looked down and found Bucky looking up at him.

“Your beard was an amazing decision.” Steve smiled as Bucky let go.

“Well, can’t really say the same for your haircut.” Steve replied without thinking. But Bucky just laughed.

“Yeah. I’m growing it out again. I tend to make so very rash decisions when I’m pissed.” Steve laughed.

“Good. I mean, good that you’re growing it out again.” Bucky looked up at him and smiled.

“Well, I’m gonna go.” Bucky said, slowly moving passed Steve.

“Bucky?” Steve said, turning around. Bucky stopped and looked back at him.

“Yeah?”

“I’m really glad you came today.” Bucky just smiled.“I…well…”

“I’m glad I came too.” Steve just smiled as Bucky walked out of the room. Steve just stood there for a bit, letting everything sink in.

Bucky had actually come here and apologized. Bucky never really said if he forgave Steve or not, but he had come here on his own free will. In Steve’s book, that counted as something. Bucky wanted to be friends again and Steve was going to try extra hard this time so he didn’t fuck things up again.

Steve made his way out of his room and found that Sam and Chase still hadn’t continued the movie. It seemed that they had been waiting for him.

“You guys didn’t have to wait.” Steve said, settling himself back in between Chase and Sam.

“What did Barnes want?” Sam asked. Give it to Sam to not be subtle about anything.

“He wanted to apologize.” Steve replied and was glad that it had come out as calm as he had wanted to. He really didn’t want to be interrogated by Sam in front of Chase.

“Really?” Chase said, reaching over to grab Steve’s hand.

“Yeah. I…I really can’t believe it. But well, I’m happy that he did.” Steve said with a smile. Chase smiled at him as Steve started the movie again. Sam was silent as they finished the movie. Steve knew that wasn’t a good sign. He would have to be prepared for a full on Sam interrogation once Chase was gone.

* * *

When the movie was over, Chase said his goodbyes and left. Chase had been unusually distant for the rest of the movie, which seemed odd to Steve. Steve had invited him to stay, but since Chase had to be at work super early tomorrow, Chase declined.

Which left Steve alone with Sam.

“So Barnes wanted to apologize?” Sam said, once Chase was gone.

“Yes. Do you think I was lying?”

“No. I just. Is that all he said?”

“No. He told me he wanted to be open with me and he told me about Alex.” Sam nodded. “I know that our friendship is going to need a lot of work, but I’m just happy that he is back in my life. Right now, that is enough.”

“But will it stay? Will Bucky’s friendship always be enough for you? Or will you always want more?” Steve hated this argument. He had heard this enough times already.

“That’s how I messed up before Sam. I’m not going to do that again.” Sam let out a small sigh.

“I just….as long as you’re happy, then well, I’m happy for you too.” Steve nodded. He knew Sam was just looking out for him. All his friends were. But he wanted to be able to make his own decisions without everyone criticizing him.

But he valued their opinion. He was biased when he came to Bucky.

“Do you think this is a bad idea? Am I doing the wrong thing here? Trying to be his friend?”

“I honestly don’t know anymore, Steve.” Sam replied with a shrug. “But I will tell you this, I think Chase will figure out your feelings for Bucky eventually.”

“What do you mean? I’m not going to…”

“I’m not saying that. I’m just saying, if all of us can see your feelings for Bucky, Chase is going to see it to.” Steve was starting to get nervous. Did Chase say something to Sam while he was talking to Bucky? Did Chase see something?

“Did he say something to you?”

“No. He didn’t have to. Just the way he looked said it all. I can’t say for sure what he was thinking, but just, you know, be careful. Chase isn’t stupid.” Steve let out a deep sigh and well, this was not what he wanted.

He didn’t want to hurt Chase. And he didn’t want Chase to think that Steve was going to cheat on him, or leave him, or whatever it was that he was thinking. Steve really liked Chase. Hurting him was the last thing Steve wanted to do.

He and Bucky were going to be friends. That’s all it was going to be. Steve had Chase and Bucky had Connie.

“I…”

“Look, just, think about some things. I know you want Bucky in your life. And I know you like Chase. You don’t have to pick between the two. You can have both. You just might need to re-evaluate how you are going to act around each of them if you want to have both.”

Steve didn’t say anything as he let the words sink in.

Sam was right.

Steve was being a horrible person right now. He was using Chase, and that wasn’t right. No one deserved that. Chase didn’t deserve that. Chase deserved so much better than him.

Bucky loved Connie. He had told Steve that over and over and over again. He didn’t have feelings for Steve. Steve needed to get that through his thick skull.

From now on, Steve was going to be 100% in the relationship with Chase. He was going to try and see what happens. But he needed to move on from Bucky. He could be friends with Bucky. He can forget his feelings for Bucky.

At least, he could try.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bucky touching Steve's beard gives me life okay, don't judge ;)
> 
> Sorry this chapter was so short. I will try and make it up with the next chapter.
> 
> And this chapter marks the end of what I have all planned out so, haha, who knows what is going to happen in this story now! ;)
> 
> Thanks for reading and let me know what you think!


	24. (150.)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! Sorry for taking so long haha, but I've been busy and everything. 
> 
> Thank you to everyone for reading, leaving comments, kudos and subscribing. You are all amazing!

Steve walked into Marty’s with a big smile on his face. He really had missed this place. It had been a while since he had been in here.

“Why, hello there handsome.” Darcy said, making her way towards him. “What’s got you so chipper?”

“It’s a glorious day Darcy.” Steve said, glancing around. He smiled when he spotted Natasha sitting off in the corner.

“No doctor today?” Darcy asked, handing him a menu.

“Nah, not today.” Steve replied, keeping his happy mood. He didn’t know if he would be ready for that with Bucky yet. Usually their lunch dates ended up horribly. They would need more time to get back to the way they were before doing this again.

Darcy just hummed her response, handing Steve a menu.

“Well, she’s been here for ten minutes. You’re late.” Steve nodded and slowly made his way to Natasha’s table. He didn’t think he was late. He quickly checked his watch and yes, he was late.

“You’re late.” She said, not even bothering to look up from the menu.

“Sorry.” Steve muttered, sitting down across from her.

“What’s your excuse today?” She replied, finally looking up at him. Steve smiled when he saw the little smile appear on her lips.

“No excuse, just walked a little slower today, that’s all.”

“Mmhhmmm.” Steve just smiled as he glanced down at his menu. He usually got the same thing every time he came here, but he was feeling a bit adventurous today. He might just try something new.

“What can I get you two?” Darcy said, coming up to their table.

“I want a bacon cheeseburger with cheese fries please. Oh, and a water.” Natasha said as she set her menu on the edge of the table.

“And for you, Captain Smiles?” Darcy replied with a smirk. “The usual?”

“Grilled chicken sandwich for me. Oh, and cheese fries. And a water for me as well.”

“Changing it up on me.” Darcy said as she took their menus.

“Got to keep you on your toes.” Darcy just gave a little laugh and was off.

“Changing things up, I see. Seems to be quite the new pattern with you.”

“Whatever do you mean by that?” Steve asked as Darcy brought back their drinks. Steve thanked her before turning back his attention to Natasha. “What do you mean?”

“Have you spoken to Bucky recently?”

“No.” Steve replied, sitting back. He hadn’t really spoken in person with Bucky since he came over to the apartment. Bucky had texted him the other day, just asking how things were going, but that was it.

Steve was sure Bucky was busy with the clinic and Steve had things to do as well.

“I planned on stopping by the clinic after here, just to see how he’s doing.” Steve leaned forward. “Now, what do you mean about patterns in my behavior?”

“Just that you are changing things up. Something I am actually glad that you are doing. You are finally moving on from Bucky.”

“That is strange, coming from someone who tried to set me up with him, multiple times.” Natasha laughed.

“I still think you and Bucky would be an amazing pair. I will go to my grave thinking that.” Steve sighed.

“Natasha…”

“But obviously, now is not the right time. You are both too stubborn for any of that.”

“Natasha…”

“How is Chase?” Steve had to try really hard to not roll his eyes. Natasha was a pro at changing subjects.

“I wish you would stop changing the subject.” Steve replied, taking a sip of his water. “Chase is fine, thanks for asking.”

“Your change of behavior has to do with Chase so I was not changing the subject. He has come and talked with me at work, saying you seem to be a bit more enthusiastic in your relationship.”

“I am, like you said, moving on from Bucky, at least I am trying to. Bucky is going to marry Connie and well, I’m going to really try with Chase.”

“Good for you.” Natasha said with a smile.

“Do you really mean that? Or do you think I am making the wrong decision, like always.” Natasha just laughed.

“I’m not going to interfere in either of your lives anymore. I’ve tried as much as I could. It is completely up to you two now.” Steve didn’t know how he felt about that answer, but he wasn’t going to fight with her anymore.

He knew a losing battle when he saw one.

Darcy then walked over with their food. She always did have the best timing.

“Here you go.” She said, sliding the plates in front of them.

“Thank you Darcy.” Natasha replied with a smile. Steve just smiled up at her as she walked away.

“So, how is wedding planning going on?” Steve asked as he took a bite of his sandwich. Natasha let out a small groan. “That well, huh?”

“Clint is being a complete moron.” Steve laughed. That sounded a lot like Clint.

“What has he done now?”

“He wants to have the wedding outside at his family’s farm.”

“Okay.” Steve replied, not really sure about how that made Clint a moron. That sounded like a nice place for a wedding. But maybe he was missing something.

“Steve, we are getting married in the middle of summer okay, I am not having my wedding be outside and it end up being 100 degrees. No matter how beautiful the farm is, just no.”

“And is Clint fighting you on this?”

“Yes! He is like, ‘oh, we can put up this big canvas tent and everything.’ Like no, it will still be hot.” Steve just laughed.

“Well, what is your ideal place then?”

“I haven’t decided yet. But it’s going to be inside, that’s for damn sure.”

“Well, just talk it out with him. Maybe let him pick the caterer or something like that.”

“Yeah, we’ll see on that too.” Steve just smiled.

“Well then, maybe you should just have Clint not plan anything.”

“But then I will be way too stressed.”

“Alright. Well, I don’t know what to tell you. I’ve never planned a wedding before so I don’t really have any advice to give.” Natasha just laughed. She seemed to finally calm down a bit as she just smiled up at Steve.

“Have you ever considered getting married?” Steve stopped chewing mid-fry and looked up at her.

“Excuse me?” Steve asked, swallowing his food.

“Has there been anyone that you ever wanted to marry?”

“Not Brock.” Steve replied with a weak laugh.

“Peggy?” Steve let out a deep breath and nodded. It felt weird talking about this with Natasha. He had brought it up with Bucky before, but now, with Natasha, he didn’t know why he hadn’t before.

“I did.” Steve finally said. “I had planned a lot of things out. I thought about how I was going to do it. I went and looked at rings. I started a budget and everything. I really thought Peggy was the one for me, and honestly, sometimes I still do.”

“Peggy is pretty amazing.” Natasha replied with her usual smile.

“She is. I love her so much. But the time wasn’t right for us. She was moving up with her work and so was I. We didn’t have time for each other.”

“Do you regret not making it work?”

“I don’t know.” Steve responded. “I mean, if I’m being honest, I think Peggy’s life is a lot better now that we aren’t together. I was holding her back from all the greatness she has now acquired.”

“And what about you? Is your life better now?”

“I met you.” Natasha smiled up at him. “And I met Bucky. I wouldn’t change that for anything.”

“And you met Chase.” Steve sighed. He should have known she would zero in on that. She was always very observant.

“I did.”

“Do you like Chase?” She asked, pushing her plate to the side. “I see you guys together, and I see it. I see how happy you are, and how happy he is. I see it when he talks about you. But now, now I don’t see it. You haven’t brought him up or anything. I guess I’m just confused.”

“Natasha…”

“I’m not judging you by any means, Steve. I’ve used men before. I get it. But Chase is so nice. And you seem so happy with him, to see and hear you talk about him like you don’t care.” She looked up at him. “Explain it to me.”

“I just…I like Chase. I really do. I like who I am when I am with him. He makes me happy. He makes me want to be a better person.”

“But?”

“But I don’t see a future with him. Talking about marriage. If I were to ever get married, it wouldn’t be to Chase.”

“So, is he a fling or a rebound or what?”

“He’s none of those. He’s my boyfriend. He is a great guy. I don’t know where we will go in the future, but I like what we have now. I don’t hear him complaining about it either, so I assume that he is happy as well.”

“And what about Bucky?”

“Bucky’s not in the picture because he is going to be getting married. End of story.”

“Things change. You know that.”

“Natasha…” Steve groaned out.

“Do I need to come back?” Darcy said out of nowhere. Natasha just smiled as she handed Darcy her plate.

“Steve’s just upset with me. Nothing new there.” Darcy just laughed as she walked away, tapping Steve’s shoulder on the way. “I’m being serious Steve. If Bucky came up to you tomorrow and told you that he was no longer marrying Connie, what would you do?”

“Nothing.”

“Are you being honest with me?” She asked, crossing her arms.

“Yes. Bucky doesn’t have feelings for me. He has made that abundantly clear.”

“How do you know?”

“Natasha…”

“Fine. Alright. End of discussion.”

“Good.” Steve replied, taking a deep breath. He loved Natasha, but sometimes, she could be rather bothersome and intrusive. He understood that she was just looking out for him, and trying to figure out what she thought was best for him. But that the was thing, Steve knew what was best for him. He didn’t need Natasha to interfere with his life as well.

He could deal with all of this on his own.

Truth was, if Bucky came over to his house and told him he was no longer marrying Connie, Steve didn’t know what he would do. Steve would be happy, of course. But he wouldn’t just drop Chase to the curb to pursue Bucky. Steve wasn’t that much of a dick.

But if Bucky burst through that door and confessed his true love for Steve, Steve didn’t know if he could turn Bucky down.

But he would have to. He was with Chase. He had made that mistake before, thinking that Bucky would drop everything for him. Bucky didn’t. That was real life.

Things like that only happened in movies and fairy tales.

* * *

 

The rest of lunch went along peacefully. Natasha didn’t bring up Bucky or Chase up again. Steve made more small talk about the wedding, and who Natasha had picked to stand up with her and whom Clint had picked and all that stuff. Natasha hadn’t picked anyone yet and Clint was adamant about having Tony Stark in the wedding, something Natasha vetoed because she didn’t want to deal with what he would come up with for a speech.

Steve just found it all rather hilarious and the more he heard about it, the more he was thankful that he never went through any of this. And if the time ever came to him actually getting married, they were just going to elope or something and not deal with all the stressful planning that came with having an actual wedding.

When they were done, Steve paid the bill (much to Natasha’s disagreement) and was on his way.

Natasha had offered to give him a ride to the clinic, but Steve declined.

Walking gave him more time to think things through and decide if it was even a good idea to visit Bucky now or just leave it for another day.

Now Steve stood in front of the clinic and he still hadn’t fully decided if he wanted to stay or not. He was already here; he might as well go through with it. He had to be strong here. Bucky might even be too busy to even see him.

“Rogers!” Steve’s head shot up when the voice shouted at him. He looked up from the doorway and found Wade waving him over. Wade was probably the only receptionist that Steve liked. And liked wasn’t even the best word.

More like tolerated.

Wade was something else. But Bucky trusted him to get his job done and he was still here, so he must do his job well.

“Hey Wade.” Steve replied, shutting the door behind him and making his way over to the front counter. There were two mothers sitting in the waiting room with their children and one father and a newborn.

Steve smiled at them, giving them a small nod as he approached the counter.

“Here to see Barnes?” Wade asked, going back to whatever it was that he was doing on the computer.

“Um, yeah, if he is available. If he is busy I can just go…”

“Nonsense. The doctor always wants to see you.” Steve looked up and saw Wade giving him a quick once over before going back to his computer. What in the hell was that supposed to mean?

“If he is going to be with a patient or anything…”

“No. Most of these patients here are just going to be seeing the nurses. I’m sure he has time to see you.”

“Are you sure? I can…”

“Steve?” Steve looked over and found Bucky standing in the doorway. He gave Steve a small smile before he looked back at the father who was standing there with his son.

Jesus Bucky looked good. It had been a while since Steve had seen Bucky fully dressed up. Bucky’s hair was getting longer and Steve just wanted to run his fingers through it. Whoa. Steve quickly shook those thoughts away and looked down at the floor instead.

When the family had left, Bucky walked over to the counter and handed a folder to Wade.

“What brings you over this way Stevie?” Bucky asked as he put his full attention on Steve.

“Oh, well um, y’know, I was around.” God Steve sounded like a bumbling idiot. Bucky laughed.

“Around huh?”

“Yeah. Marty’s. I had lunch with Natasha.” That seemed to catch Bucky’s full attention.

“Really? And was that eventful?” Bucky said, guiding Steve back to the offices. Steve glanced back just in time to see Wade give him a little wink before he disappeared from view.

“Well, it was like how every other lunch with her is. Everything starts up pleasant. Then she becomes a bit intrusive, and then things go back to normal.” Bucky let out a loud laugh as he walked back into his office. He motioned for Steve to come in before shutting the door behind him.

“It wouldn’t be Natasha if she wasn’t intrusive at least once in a conversation.”

“Very true. She seems a bit stressed.”

“About what? The wedding?” Bucky said, sitting down. Steve nodded and sat down across from him.

“Yeah. I guess Clint is..well…”

“Being Clint.” Bucky replied. “She’s been calling me every night about this shit and I just…” Bucky said, letting out a small sigh. “I tell her the same thing every night. Just stop. Don’t think about it. The wedding is still like a year or so away. Deal with it tomorrow.”

“I don’t think that is very helpful Buck.”

“Eh, it’s what she needs to hear. They just got engaged. They haven’t even set a date yet. If anything, that should be what she does first. And then start planning.”

“You know,” Steve said, leaning back. “You’re gonna have to do all of this too.” Bucky didn’t look at Steve then, he just looked down at the pile of papers on his desk.

“Yeah, I know.”

“Have you thought about that?”

“We haven’t even set a date yet. So no, I haven’t. Not really thinking about it, to be honest. I want a long engagement.”

“And what about Connie? What does she want?” Bucky laughed.

“If she wants to get married soon, she hasn’t mentioned it to me.”

“Alright then.” Steve said, letting the subject drop. He didn’t want to talk about weddings with Bucky. “So, how are things going here?”

“Good. Good. Not too crazy yet. Still working on building up my clientele. But I haven’t had any complaints about staff, well, except for Wade. But he has toned it down a lot recently.”

“Yeah…” Steve didn’t really notice if Wade had toned it down or not. He still was his very obnoxious self every time Steve saw him.

“Has he said something to you?” Bucky asked, leaning forward a bit. “You can tell me. He can be very opinionated sometimes and well, I can’t have him harassing anyone, patient or not.”

“No. He hasn’t done anything bad. I guess he is just different with actual patients than with me. Then again, he knows me a bit.”

“Could be. If he ever makes you feel uncomfortable, just let me know.”

“Will do.”

“So how is Chase?” Bucky asked.

“Good. We’re good.”

“That’s good.” And here comes the awkwardness again. Steve hated this. He needed to get things back to the way they were, but he didn’t want to push Bucky. He knew this was going to take a lot of work. He knew that. So he shouldn’t really be complaining now. Bucky was talking to him again, and smiling at him. That was a start.

“Well, I should probably go. You are busy and…”

“Sure. It was nice to see you Steve. Feel free to stop by any time.” Steve stood up and nodded at Bucky.

“Will do. And well, you know, the same goes for you. You can come by and visit me and Sam anytime.” Bucky looked up and smiled. Steve felt his knees go weak for a quick second.

“Noted.”

“Bye Bucky.” Steve said as he made his way out of his office.

It could have been worse. But this friendship seems so awkward and cold now. Sure they were talking and everything, but it was nothing like it was before. He missed the random texts from Bucky at 2 in the morning when he thought of some stupid story. He missed Bucky’s rants about getting the chairs fixed. He missed the more open Bucky. Bucky seemed more guarded now. And Steve couldn’t help but feel that it was his fault that Bucky was like that. Steve wanted to make it all better, but he didn’t know what he could do.

He also kept hearing Natasha’s words playing on repeat in his mind. He needed to get his shit together. He was a complete mess.

“Yo, Rogers!” Steve looked over and saw Wade waving him over again.

“Yes?” Steve asked, walking over to him.

“You know Peter Parker, don’t you?”

“Yes.” Steve wasn’t sure where this was going and something told him that he didn’t want to know.

“Is there any way you can introduce us or something?” Steve just rolled his eyes and started walking away. “Come on man!”

“I’ll think about it.” Steve shouted as he walked out of the clinic. He glanced back and saw Wade flipping him off through the window. Steve let out a loud laugh and continued on his way. Well, that made Steve fell a little bit better.

There was no way in hell he would introduce Wade to Peter. Peter was an outgoing guy, but Wade, Wade might be a bit much at the moment. Steve knew Peter was pretty stressed at the moment, he didn’t need someone like Wade in his life right now. Then again…

Steve would think about it.

Steve was about a few blocks away from the clinic when his phone went off. He pulled out his phone and saw that it was Peggy. He couldn’t help the smile that appeared on his face.

“Hello Peggy.” Peggy let out a small laugh.

“Well hello to you too Steve. I think that is the most enthusiastic I have heard you in a long time.” Steve cracked out a loud laugh.

“I am always happy to talk with you Peggy.”

“Oh really?”

“Oh course. You are my best girl.”

“And don’t you forget it.” Peggy replied. “Anyways, I am standing outside your apartment with takeout and you are not here.”

“Oh, well you know where the key is.”

“I know. I was just expecting you here. Why aren’t you here? Why isn’t Sam here? He’s always here.”

“I can’t tell you why Sam isn’t there but I had lunch with Natasha and then I stopped by to see Bucky.”

“Ah, well, I want to hear all about it, so start running mister, I’m hungry.”

“Will do.” Steve replied, hanging up and started to quicken his walking pace. It wouldn’t do to keep Peggy waiting.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alrighty, so this chapter was pretty much filler, but we are now on the upward slope of Steve and Bucky's relationship again.
> 
> Thank you all for reading and let me know what you think! :)


	25. (162.)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh my god I am so sorry guys that this has taken so long to update. I had most of it written, and then I started a new full time job so my time has just been taken away from me. But thanks for being so patient with me.
> 
> And thanks to everyone for reading, subscribing,leaving kudos and comments. It means so much to me that you guys enjoy the story so much. :)

“What movie should we watch?” Steve asked, glancing over from his spot on the floor to Chase, who was lounging back on the couch.

“Um…how about something scary?” Chase responded with a smile. “I’m in the mood for scary.” Steve laughed, looking back at his movie collection.

“I don’t think I own anything that is genuinely scary.” Steve pondered his movie selection for a few minutes before deciding on one of his favorites. “I’m feeling Psycho. How about that? That counts as scary, right?” Chase just laughed.

“I could always go for some Anthony Perkins.” Steve smiled as he pulled himself up and put in the movie. Chase just smiled as Steve walked over and sat down next to him on the couch. “So when is Sam coming back?” Steve looked over when he felt Chase’s hand on his thigh.

“Um, tomorrow I think. He and Clint are doing this little convention thing today and tomorrow. Something like that. I don’t really remember. I wasn’t paying that much attention when he told me.”

“Mmhmmm….” Chase mumbled into Steve’s neck, pressing small kisses along his neck and up to his jaw. Steve laughed as he pulled Chase into a quick kiss.

“It’s good to know I can keep your attention better than Anthony Perkins.” Chase smiled against his lips.

“He’s not on screen yet.”

“No love for Janet Leigh?”

“I only have eyes for one blond in this room.” Steve laughed as he pushed Chase back on the couch.

“Good.”

It seemed like it had been such a long time since Steve and Chase had fooled around like this. Usually Sam was around or Chase was busy working. Lately it has been Steve that had been busy. He was slowly approaching his deadline for Peter’s latest book and he had picked up a few other commissions as well. He didn’t really have much time to enjoy anything.

So when Sam had told him he would be out of town for a few days, Steve banked on the idea of getting to be with Chase again. And Chase only. There would be no distractions, nothing. Just him and Chase.

Peggy was working this weekend and with Sam gone, there wasn’t any room for any distractions. Except maybe Bucky. But things were rather quiet on the Bucky front.

Steve hadn’t talked to Bucky since he had visited him at the clinic. They may have texted each other a few times, but nothing too serious. Just minor the minor ‘hey.’

But Bucky didn’t matter right now. Right now, it was Chase.

Steve was going to focus most of his thoughts on his relationship with Chase. That’s what he really needed to be thinking about. Not about Bucky, or anything else for that matter.

Recently it had been about Natasha and Clint’s wedding. Apparently Natasha had given up on bugging Bucky about things and moved straight on to Steve. Although, things were getting better on that front.

Natasha and Clint seemed to have reached an agreement, at least, that’s what Steve had heard from Natasha yesterday. She had called and said she found the perfect venue and that Clint had agreed to it.

So that was some good news. At least that was one less thing Steve was going to hear about from Natasha.

Steve was pulled from his thoughts when he heard his phone go off. Steve pressed a small kiss on Chase’s jaw before he pulled away to see who had messaged him. He could feel Chase watching him as he opened the message.

And really, it probably wasn’t the best for Steve to stop to check his phone, but with it being this close to the deadline with Peter, it could have been him. And Chase would have answered if Tony had called him or something.

It wasn’t from Peter though. It was from Bucky.

_Is it alright if I call you in a bit? I have something I NEED to talk to you about._

Steve stared at the message for a bit. Not quite sure on how to take it. Was this something serious, or was it some stupid story Bucky had to tell him? He couldn’t really tell the difference anymore.

He could feel Chase’s fingers running up under his shirt as he kissed along his neck. Steve sent off a quick reply.

_Sure._

“Who is it?” Chase asked in between kisses. Steve looked up and saw Janet Leigh pulling up to the Bates Motel.

“Your man is coming up.” Steve responded with a smile, leaning back against the couch, pulling away from Chase completely. If Bucky was going to call him, he didn’t want to be all out of breath or anything. Chase glanced over at the TV then back at Steve.

“You didn’t answer my question.” Steve looked down at his hands for a quick second, avoiding the question before he looked back up at the TV. He watched as Anthony Perkins made his grand entrance into the movie. When he felt Chase’s eyes burning a hole through the side of his face, he decided he might as well answer. He couldn’t evade Chase forever.

“It was Bucky.”

“Ah. Of course it was.” Something in the way that Chase said it sent off signals in Steve’s mind. This wasn’t going to end well.

“What does that mean?” And honestly, Steve should have just dropped it then. But give it to Steve to never back down from any fight.

“Nothing.” Chase said, crossing his arms and looking back at the TV. “Anthony Perkins did amazing in this role. It’s such a shame that he got typecast afterwards.” Well, there he goes changing the subject. Again, Steve should have just let it slide, but something in him couldn’t let it. Chase had never acted like this when Steve mentioned Bucky. Why now?

“Chase. What’s wrong? It was just Bucky.” Chase laughed at that.

“Just Bucky. That’s fuckin’ hilarious Steve.”

“Why? You know Bucky and I are trying to be friends again.”

“Friends? Are you sure about that Steve?”

“Yes I’m sure. Bucky is my friend.”

“What happened between you and Bucky?”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean, from what Natasha has told me, you two were really close. And then something happened. What happened?”

“Nothing. We just got into a fight. So things are a bit weird now, but it is something we are working on.” Steve hated lying to Chase, but he couldn’t tell Chase the whole truth. He couldn’t tell him that he had been in love with Bucky. That he still was in love with Bucky. He didn’t want to hurt Chase like that.

Chase just looked at him. Steve wished now more than ever that he was good at lying.

“You’re lying.”

“What? No I’m not. Bucky and I got into a huge fight.”

“Over what? What was so damn bad that he never wanted to see you again?”

“What should it matter to you?” Steve asked, suddenly getting mad. Honestly, Chase had no right to inquire about this. Steve didn’t have to tell him anything. It wasn’t any of his business. Chase abruptly stood up, glaring daggers at Steve.

“It matters a lot to me, Steve! I see the way he looks at you! And how you look at him! I’m not stupid Steve! There is something going on and I deserve to know!”

“Well there is nothing between Bucky and me. We are just friends. That’s it. That’s all it ever was and all it ever will be.” Chase let out a small groan.

“Stop lying to me!” Chase shouted. “I have only been honest with you Steve. Why do you feel the need to lie to me all the god damn time?” Steve didn’t know what to say to that.

Steve had always felt like he didn’t have to lie to Chase, not like he had to Bucky. But now, here he was, doing it anyways.

“Chase…”

“No. Save it. Until you can be honest with me, I can’t be here anymore.” Steve was frozen in his spot as Chase stormed out of the apartment. Steve didn’t know what to do now.

He and Chase had never fought like this before. Sure they had their small arguments but it wasn’t anything serious. It was such a weird feeling. Coming from the fact that he and Brock used to fight all the time, he still wasn’t used to it.

He and Chase never fought. But it was bound to happen sooner or later.

And all because of Bucky.

God his life sucked sometimes.

Steve ran a hand through his hair as he leaned back into the couch. He glanced up at the TV to see Norman Bates pushing the car into the swamp. He didn’t even feel like watching this movie anymore.

He was about the switch it off when his phone went off. Steve hadn’t been expecting it and he would deny it all later, but he may have jumped a few feet off the couch. He reached over quickly and saw that it was Bucky that was calling him.

Right.

Bucky had said that he was going to call him. How could Steve forget?

“Hello?” Steve said, leaning back into the couch again, trying to get his heart to calm down.

“Steve, oh my god, Wade told me about this stupid movie and well, I wasn’t going to watch it but like, curiosity got the better of me and I had to look it up and seriously Steve, this movie was the worse. The acting was horrible, it was just offensive and just, I think I lost brain cells watching it. Like I think I am actually dumber than I was before I watched it.” Steve couldn’t help but smile at Bucky ranting.

God he had missed this.

“What was this horrible movie called?”

“Thankskilling. Steve, it was about a fucking killer turkey. Like how absurd is that?” Steve just laughed.

“It sounds pretty ridiculous. Did you watch the whole thing?”

“I had to. I figured I made it through that much, I better just finish the whole thing. But seriously, this movie should not have even been made. Like I don’t understand how it was even put into production.”

“You should have known though, especially coming from Wade.”

“I know, but really Steve, if someone told you about a movie with a killer turkey, you have to admit, that would make even you a bit curious.”

“You got me there. I guess even I would be a little bit curious.” Steve responded, looking down at his hands. Jesus, he was still thinking about Chase getting mad at him.

How was he going to fix this? Obviously he had to apologize, but how?

“Steve? Are you alright?”

“What? Yeah, of course I am.”

“Mmhmmm yeah, you know you can’t lie for shit. Even over the phone.” Steve took a deep breath. “Tell me. You can tell me anything, you know that.” Yeah, Steve knew that.

“Chase and I had our first real fight.” Bucky was silent for a bit. And maybe Bucky wasn’t who he should be talking to about this. He probably should have called Peggy or hell, even Sam. But probably Peggy. She was always his go to person about this.

Since the fight was about Bucky, Bucky was probably the last person he should be talking about it with.

“What was it about? You don’t have to tell me, if you don’t want to! I don’t want to be invasive, but you know, if you need to talk about it, you can tell me.”

“It was about you, actually.” Steve blurted out before he could think better of it. Shit. He should probably just hang up now.

“Oh.” Bucky was silent again and yeah, Steve should just hang up. “In what context?”

“What?”

“Why was I the start of this fight?”

“Well, Chase and I were having a date night and…”

“Shit. Did I interrupt that? Shit. Shit. Shit. I’m so sorry Steve.”

“No. Bucky, no. Look, everything was going fine and you texted me, which was fine. But then Chase asked about our fight, like how it all started…”

“Oh.”

“Yeah. And well, you know, it really isn’t any of his business.” Steve said, straightening himself up on the couch. “I mean, it happened before we were together. I told him we got into a fight and really, it shouldn’t matter. It was all in the past.”

“True. So why is he mad?”

“Because well…”

“Ah, you lied to him, didn’t you? And since you can’t lie to save your life, he called you out on it.”

“Yeah.” Steve said quietly. “To be fair, I didn’t completely lie. I just wasn’t completely honest.”

“Well, I think you need to tell him the truth.”

“What!” Steve shouted into the phone. “Bucky, no. That is the last thing I need to do.”

“Bullshit. Chase deserves to know the truth. You can’t have a relationship based on lies.” Like Bucky was the expert on that. Where did he have room to talk? It’s not like Connie knew about what happened either. Unless she did…

“Bucky…”

“Look. Everyone else knows what happened. Chase ought to be included in that.”

“Bucky I can’t…”

“Steve. You can.” Steve let out a long sigh as he fell back against the couch.

“I just…”

“Steve, just think about it, alright?” Steve didn’t want to think about it. He didn’t want to tell Chase. If Bucky hadn’t told Connie about it, why should he have to tell Chase about it?

But Steve knew he wasn’t going to win this argument. And the least he could do is think about it.

“Alright.”

“Good. Well, I will let you get back to it. I need to go watch something to get the thoughts of a killer turkey out of my head.”

“Good luck with that.” Bucky let out a little laugh as he hung up. Steve let out a deep sigh as he threw his phone to the other side of the couch before running his hands over his face.

How was he going to do this?

If he told Chase that he had feelings for Bucky, that he still had them, would Chase be okay with that? Or would he dump Steve right then and there?

But Bucky was right. Steve did owe Chase the truth. It was the least he could do. Chase deserved that much.

That made his decision for him.

Steve pulled himself from the couch and grabbed his coat. Hopefully Chase was home.

* * *

The lights were on in Chase’s apartment, so at least he was here. Steve took a deep breath and knocked on the door. He wasn’t sure he was ready to do this, but it was something that needed to be done.

If Chase couldn’t accept Steve’s feelings, well then, they just weren’t meant to be anymore. It would be simple. Steve would be upset, but if it wasn’t meant to be, then it wasn’t meant to be.

The door opened and Steve sucked in a deep breath. He looked up at Chase and was a little disappointed to see Chase frowning at him.

“You came. I was actually expecting you to come a bit sooner.” Chase said, opening the door wider to let Steve in.

“You were expecting me?”

“You are very predictable Steve.”

“Sorry.” Steve replied, closing the door behind him.

“Don’t be. It’s what makes you, you.” Chase turned around and Steve found that Chase was actually smiling at him now. “What can I do for you?”

“I wanted to apologize.” Steve took a step forward and reached out for Chase’s hand. Chase let him take it. That had to be a good sign. “I, well, a relationship can’t be built on lies, and well, I personally think that the fight with Bucky isn’t all that important, but since you want to know so bad, I am willing to tell you.” Chase’s face fell.

“Steve…look, you don’t have to tell me…”

“No. I need to. I think it will help me to move on as well.” Steve slowly pulled Chase over to the couch and sat down. Chase sat down next to him, hand still intertwined with Steve’s.

Here goes nothing.

“Alright. So, I met Bucky a while back. And well, I’m not gonna beat around the bush here, I fell for him.”

“I figured as much.” Chase said with a little smile. “You aren’t all that subtle when it comes to James Barnes.”

“Yeah, but he was also with Connie. So, I did the only reasonable thing I could think of, I pushed my crush aside and worked on being friends with him. I was doing that commission for him, so I had to see him all the time. I figured it wouldn’t hurt as much if we were just friends.”

“And how did that work out for you?” Steve let out a little laugh.

“Not well. I felt like every day I spent with him, I fell deeper and deeper in love with the guy. I even had to endure Natasha’s meddling and even Bucky’s sister got in on the meddling as well. It was torture.”

“I see.”

“But, then I met you, and well, I still wasn’t ready for a relationship at first. Brock had messed me up and then there was Bucky.”

“I noticed. You seemed rather distant when we first met."

“I didn’t want to hurt you. So I stayed away. I was still unsure about things since Brock and then everything with Bucky. So I kept my distance from you.”

“So what happened?”

“Well, Bucky and I went on that little trip. And um, we ended up having to stop at motel and well, um, in the morning, I sort of kissed him.” Steve looked over at Chase and Chase wasn’t even looking at him. He was looking away, but he was still gripping Steve’s hand.

“Did he reciprocate?” Steve closed his eyes. He had not thought about that morning in a long time. It hurt him too much. “For a bit. But then he came back to his senses and said I was taking advantage of him. And I mean, I was, somewhat. But that’s what caused it. He went out and proposed to Connie the next day.”

“Wow.”

“That’s what happened and we are just now getting back to being friends.”

“Do you still like him?”

“What?”

“Bucky. Do you still have feelings for him?”

“I do. But I am trying to move on. I know he is going to marry Connie. I know he doesn’t have any feelings for me. Just, I need time.”

“And what about me? Where do I fall into all of this? Am I just some rebound or something?”

“Have you ever felt like a rebound?” Steve asked. “I got into this relationship with you because I liked you. I like being around you. I like who I am when I’m with you. I wasn’t really trying to impress you like I was with Bucky. I could be myself and just, everything was easier around you.” Chase didn’t say anything for a while.

Steve took a deep breath. Chase being silent could be interpreted as a good thing or a bad thing.

“Chase. I want to be with you. I guess the real question is, do you still want to be with me?”

“Steve, I…” Chase took a deep breath and looked over at him. Steve couldn’t read his face. “I want to be with you. Of course I do.” Steve smiled as he moved in closer to Chase.

“But?”

“No buts. I can’t really be upset with you about Bucky. I can’t control your feelings for him. But you are with me and well, I like being around you too.”

“That’s great.” Steve replied with a smile, pulling Chase in for a quick kiss. Chase smiled against his lips, pulling away.

“Thank you, for telling me the truth. I do appreciate you being honest with me.”

“I wanted to tell you, I just, I didn’t want to hurt you.”

“So what made you come here? I knew you would, but something would have pushed you here. What was it?” Steve laughed.

“It was Bucky, actually.”

“Really?”

“Yeah, he called and said that you deserve to know the truth.”

“I guess I’ll have to thank him sometime then.” Chase said, pulling Steve in for another kiss.

Steve didn’t know what it was, but something told him that everything was going to be alright. Since Steve had told Chase the truth, he felt so much better. Like a weight was pulled from his chest.

He felt free.

And now that the truth was out there about Bucky, maybe he would finally be able to move on from this.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was feeling really conflicted with this job, so really, it's mostly just a filler episode and moving things along with Steve and Chase.
> 
> Also, Thankskilling is a totally real movie. I have not seen it, but I watched five minutes worth of clips and it totally melted my brain. It's so bad.
> 
> I may also have a deep love for Anthony Perkins. ;)
> 
> Anyways.... let me know what you guys think!


	26. (173.)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh man, so sorry for the wait, but guess what? It's a Christmas chapter right around Christmas! Haha yeah. So, let's just say that this chapter was not what I had intended it to be.
> 
> Anyways, thanks to everyone for being so patient with me. And thanks for reading, commenting, leaving kudos or subscribing to this story! Means a lot!

Steve loved Christmas.

He loved how everyone got together to enjoy each other’s company. And there was the fact that usually everyone was in a much better mood than they were the rest of the year, except when it came to shopping malls. Steve tended to avoid those like the plague though.

But over all, it was just was a nicer time of the year. It was a time to be thankful for everything you usually take for granted.

Steve loved it. He always had plenty of commissions around the holidays, so it was usually a better time for pay. And just, everything was just better this time of year.

But this year it seemed Christmas had snuck up on him. He wasn’t as prepared for it as he usually was. He was usually done with getting everything bought and ready by Thanksgiving. But not this year. This year, Christmas came very unexpectedly.

Normally he would spend Christmas with Sam, Peggy and Sharon. They would normally have a small get together Christmas night and just enjoy each other’s company by drinking hot chocolate and watching The Grinch. They were the only family he had now.

But this year, it seemed Natasha had other plans.

She was planning some big Christmas party for everyone this year. Steve didn’t want to go at first, but once Peggy, Sharon and Sam said they were planning on going, he didn’t have much choice in the matter. He didn’t want to spend Christmas along.

Then again, he didn’t really have much choice to begin with. Natasha would come and personally drag his ass there if he didn’t show up.

So he might as well just go and save her all the hassle.

But Chase would be with him, so that would be good. He would make it through whatever Natasha threw at him with Chase by his side. He could endure the worst glares Connie could come up with, if she even came. But if Bucky was there, then most likely she would be there too.

Things have been going somewhat well with Chase ever since the whole truth came out about Bucky. Chase never seemed upset if Steve brought up Bucky or anything like that anymore. It was like it how it near the beginning. But Steve couldn’t help but feel that there was a small drift forming between them. Chase wasn’t as affectionate as he used to be. In fact, he hadn’t made a move on Steve since that night.

Even if they were alone, Steve would start something, get things going, but Chase would always pull away and start a new conversation or sometimes he would even leave.

It was odd. B

ut Chase seemed happier, so Steve didn’t question it. He wouldn’t force Chase into anything if he wasn’t feeling it. Chase was still the same, they just didn’t really have sex anymore. Steve was sure they would get past it soon enough.

It was just a small phase or something. Chase was still talking to him, so that was something.

“Steve?” Steve looked over as Chase walked into the bedroom. Chase was decked out in a nice pair of slacks and a green button up shirt. Steve smiled as Chase walked over to him and pressed a quick kiss to his lips.

“You look good.”

“I look like a slob compared to you. And you shaved.” Chase replied, running his fingers along Steve’s now smooth chin.

“My mother always told me I had to look my best around the holidays. And that includes shaving. The beard was nice while it lasted”

“Well, I think you would have looked handsome either way. And blue is definitely your color.” Steve smiled as he reached out and grabbed his hand.

“I’m really glad you’re coming with me tonight.” Chase smiled, it wasn’t his usual smile though. It almost seemed a tad bit forced.

“Well, I would never abandon you around the holidays.” Steve let out a small laugh, but he couldn’t help but think that that was a weird thing to say. “Also, I have your present.”

“Oh, you didn’t have to.” Chase just smiled as he held up a small package. Steve reached out and grabbed the package, opening it up slowly. Inside was a pocket watch. He knew this pocket watch. He had thought he had lost it. It had belonged to his father. It was one of the only things he had left from his father.

“Where?” Steve whispered, opening it up to reveal the picture of Peggy he had in there. He had been with Peggy when he lost it.

“Peggy. She found it one day while she was cleaning, gave it to me to give to you. I noticed that it wasn’t working so I had it fixed.”

“Thank you Chase.” Steve replied as he stepped forward to pull Chase in for a kiss. Chase actually reciprocated and wrapped his arms around Steve’s shoulders, deepening the kiss. This was the most attention he had received from Chase for days. “I have something for you as well. It’s not much, but…” Steve whispered against Chase’s lips as he pulled away. He reached behind and pulled out a small envelope. Chase smiled as he opened the envelope. “They’re having this old movie festival downtown and I wanted to know if you’ll go with me?”

“Of course! I would love to. Steve, this is wonderful, thank you so much.” Steve smiled as Chase pulled him in for another kiss. Steve wanted to just stay here in this moment and be with Chase for the rest of the night, but Sam was waiting. And Sam would throw a fit if they kept him waiting.

“Shall we? Sam is waiting to give us a lift.” Chase nodded as Steve guided them out to where Sam was waiting not too patiently by the door.

\--------------------

The crooning voice of Bing Crosby was the first thing that met Steve’s ears as he walked into Natasha and Clint’s loft. There were Christmas lights everywhere and probably one of the largest Christmas trees Steve had ever seen right in the middle of the living room.

It was beautiful.

It was covered in bright white lights with white ornaments and garland covering it from floor to ceiling. It was quite a sight. It was so simple yet so elegant. It was one of the most beautiful Christmas trees Steve had ever seen.

Steve and Sam didn’t have anything Christmas related in their apartment yet. Steve wanted a tree. Had a tree actually. But when he set it up, Sam just threw it out, saying that they were not having a Charlie Brown Christmas tree in their apartment.

And that was three years ago.

Hadn’t had a tree since.

Seeing this beautiful tree made Steve want a tree now more than ever. Although it was a bit too late now. He would have to get one for next year though. He would not go another Christmas without a tree. And he would not let Sam throw it out.

“Steve.” Steve looked up as Natasha walked up to him. He instantly smiled at the little reindeer antlers she was sporting.

“Well don’t you look festive?” Steve said, pulling her into a hug. Natasha just smiled as she pressed a kiss to his cheek.

“I have a special one just for you.” She said, pulling back and revealing a set for him.

“Yeah, no. I don’t do antlers.”

“It’s either that or a Santa hat.” Steve rolled his eyes before taking the headband and putting it on.

“I think it looks nice.” Chase said, coming up to stand next to Steve. “I’ll take a Santa hat.” Natasha smiled, reaching over to the table and handing one over.

“And for you Sam?” Steve glanced over and saw that Sam was probably in the same boat as he was and would have rather gone with neither.

“A hat.” Sam mumbled out as Natasha handed one over. Sam put his hat on and made his way to where everyone else was standing in the living room. Steve could see Peggy chatting with Pepper and Jane while Sharon looked to be deep in a conversation with Clint and Thor. But Bucky and Connie were nowhere to be seen. He had seen their car outside, so they had to be here.

But where?

“They’re in the back. Video chatting with her family or something along those lines.” Natasha said, bumping into him as she walked passed. “Come join the party.”

“Um, I actually have something I have to give to Connie.” That stopped her. She turned around on her heel, giving Steve that look he hated seeing.

“Oh, do you now? And what is that?” Steve pulled out the small bag he had and pulled out a tiny frame. It was the picture of Bucky, smiling from their little trip together. It seemed like ages ago that it all happened. Steve kept his own copy of that picture, but it was a picture where Bucky looked absolutely happy and he figured that Connie would enjoy it. It was a good picture of him after all.

Natasha smiled and took the picture.

“He looks genuinely happy in this picture. I haven’t seen him like this in ages. What is he looking at I wonder?” She looked up at him as she handed the frame back. Steve swallowed deeply before putting the picture back in the bag.

“Don’t do this now, Nat.” Steve whispered. “I heard about you and Chase. He told me that you finally told him the truth about what happened with Bucky. He took it well, I assume.”

“Yeah, he…”

“Stevie!” Steve looked over as Bucky walked towards him, the biggest smile on his face. Steve felt the breath leave him for a second. To say Bucky looked amazing was an understatement. Steve could go on and on and on about how Bucky always looked good. That was something that never seemed to change.

“Buck.” Steve said as Bucky pulled him into a hug. Steve instantly relaxed in his arms before he pulled away. He still couldn’t help but feel a bit nervous around Bucky. What if he woke up that morning and decided he absolutely hated Steve? He knew the chances of that happening weren’t likely, but still, he would be lying if he said it never crossed his mind.

Steve glanced over and saw that Connie hadn’t left the room yet. That would give him his outlet to give her the present. “Excuse me.” He said before heading down the hallway. He heard Connie saying goodbye through the door before he knocked on the door.

“Yes?” Steve opened the door and stepped inside. Connie was in the process of putting her phone in her purse when she looked up at Steve. “Oh, Steven. Of course you are here.”

“I came bearing a gift.”

“A gift? How thoughtful.”

“I know you and I never have gotten along. We probably never will, but I wanted to give you this.” Connie seemed conflicted, glancing at the present before looking back up at Steve. “It’s not a bomb, I promise.” She let out a little laugh as she reached out and grabbed the bag. She pulled the frame out and stared down at it. “I took this a while ago and well, I thought you would like it.”

“He looks so happy.” She ran her fingers over the glass. “Thank you Steve.”

“You’re welcome.” Steve turned and made his way back outside to the party.

When he walked into the living room he could see A Christmas Story playing on the TV. It was getting near the end though, Ralphie was walking down the stairs in that horrid pink bunny jumpsuit.

“Steven. Nice to see you.” Thor clapped a large hand on Steve’s shoulder, causing Steve to actually fault in his step a bit.

“Thor. Still as strong as ever I see.” Steve could see that Thor was sporting the same antlers as he was. Steve glanced over as Natasha handed over some Santa hats and antlers over to Connie and Bucky.

“How are you Steven?”

“Good. I’m good.” Steve just smiled as he made his way through the crowds, telling everyone hello and getting caught up. It had been too long since he had seen everyone. Unfortunately, he got stuck in a conversation with Tony that he could have done without, which gave him the perfect opportunity to disappear into the kitchen for a while.

He needed a drink.

After that conversation, he needed a nice long drink.

“Looking for this.” Steve looked over as Peggy walked over to him, handing him a glass of wine.

“Thanks.” Steve replied, grabbing the glass and chugging half of its contents in one gulp.

“Easy killer.” Peggy said with a smile as she took a small sip of her own glass. “So, what happened with Chase?”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean, you said you had something to tell me about him the other day. So, what is it?”

“Oh, right. Well, I sort of told Chase the truth, about me and Bucky.”

“Did you?” Peggy scooted in closer to him, smiling up at him. “Details.”

"Nothing much to tell. He figured it out and I told him the truth. Oh, thanks for the finding my dad's watch. I have been looking for it forever! Where was it?"

"It was in your drawer."

"My drawer?"

"Yeah, you know that small little drawer that was in my closet? It was in there, inbetween a handkerchief or something." Steve just smiled as he focused in on the music in the background. He could hear Christmas Canon playing. Steve instantly smiled, getting lost in the music. He loved this song. It reminded him of his mother. She always played when he was younger. “You always did love this song. I think you played it at least five times a day throughout the month of December.”

“My mom loved this song. It always makes me think of her.”

“She was an incredible woman.”

“She was. I used to dream about dancing to this with you at our wedding.” Steve replied without thanking. He looked over at Peggy, worried he may have spoken out of term. But she stood there, smiling back at him. He thought about that every now and again, what their wedding would have been like, if it would have happened.

“I bet that would have been beautiful.” Peggy reached over and grabbed his hand, giving it a quick squeeze.

“Yeah.”

“What are you two lovers doing?” Natasha cooed out as she walked into the kitchen, followed by Bucky. Of course Bucky would be there. Steve really shouldn’t be surprised anymore. Peggy just laughed as she took a step away from Steve.

“Oh Steve and I were just reminiscing on what could have been.”

“Oh really?” Bucky took a step forward so that he was now standing next to Steve. If Steve didn’t know better, it was almost like Bucky was acting a little territorial, moving in between Steve and Peggy like he did. “And what could have been?” Bucky asked, bumping into Steve’s shoulder. He could feel that Bucky was joking, but something just didn’t seem right about his tone. It was like he was trying too hard.

“Oh, you know, a big Christmas wedding and thousands of kids, running about an old cabin out in the middle of the nowhere, maybe a few dogs and a cat.” Peggy replied, giving a tiny laugh before exiting the kitchen.

“Don’t forget the goldfish!” Steve piped in, sending Peggy into a small fit of laughter.

“Oh, we can’t forget about him.” She shouted from the living room.

“A Christmas wedding, I never would have guessed. You seem like a spring kind of man.” Natasha said, glancing up before turning to look at Steve and Bucky with the biggest shit eating grin Steve had ever seen.

“What?” Steve looked around, trying to see what she would be smiling at. He then glanced up and closed his eyes.

Of course. He should have fucking known.

Mistletoe.

Natasha and Clint would have mistletoe hanging around the house. Why wouldn’t they? He was beginning to regret coming here. Where was Chase? Chase was supposed to save him from things like this.

“You know the rules.”

“Screw the rules.” Steve said, taking a step forward. He was not going to fall into this trap again.

“Come on Steve, it’s just one kiss.” Steve scoffed at that. Like Bucky had room to say that. He threw the biggest fit over just one kiss months ago. Not that Steve was going to hold that against him. But still. The hypocrite.

“You would know all about that, wouldn’t you Bucky?” Steve looked over at Bucky and saw that he was glaring over at Natasha. But her mind wouldn’t be changed.

“It has to happen. I’m not leaving until I see a kiss.”

“Natasha no…” Steve stopped talking when he felt Bucky’s prosthetic hand come up and grip his chin, yanking him down.

“Just shut up Steve.” He whispered as he pressed a quick kiss to Steve’s cheek. “She never said on the lips.” He then let go of Steve and walked away. Steve just stood there, frozen in his spot.

He could feel a small tingle in his cheek from where Bucky’s lips had touched.

“You okay there buddy?” Steve snapped out of his little daze and glared at her.

“You were supposed to drop this.” Natasha just laughed.

“It’s tradition.” Steve didn’t say anything else as he walked back out into the living room. Everyone was lost in their own private conversations. He didn’t know where to even start with talking to people again. He was the odd man out again.

“How are you Steve? I mean really.” Natasha said, coming to stand next to him in the doorway.

“I’ll let you know when I figure it out.” Steve responded, looking over at her. Natasha wasn’t looking at him though, she was looking out at the crowd, at Clint, who was in the process of telling a story to Sam and Bucky, doing the most outrageous hand gestures. It made Steve laugh.

“I’m going to marry that man.” Natasha whispered.

“Yeah. Lucky you.”

“Some days I wake up and I don’t know what I’m thinking. I used to tell James all the time that marriage wasn’t for me. That I would never want to be held down by something as trivial as a piece of paper, and a man for that matter. I didn’t want to be bound to a man in any way.”

“What changed your mind?” Natasha laughed.

“I don’t know if you know this or not, but Clint has proposed to me many times. I always said no. I would tell him that I loved him very much, but that I just couldn’t marry him. He was alright with that though. He always said, ‘Another day then.’” She took a deep breath and Steve could tell that she was trying not to cry. It was weird seeing Natasha like this. He had gotten to know her a lot over the months, but right now, this was the real Natasha, the one she never revealed to anyone. “He really is a good man.”

“I know.” Steve moved over, wrapping an arm around her shoulder, pulling her in close.

“When Clint proposed this last time, I don’t know what it was, but I realized that I couldn’t be without him. So I said yes.”

“And you’re happy?”

“I’m very happy.” She looked up at him. “And no one knows this yet, but, well, I’m going to have a baby.” She whispered as she smiled back at Clint. Steve didn’t know what to say.

“Does Clint know?”

“Not yet.”

“Natasha…” Steve couldn’t believe it.

“I was scared at first. I never thought I would ever be a mother. Never thought I would get the chance.”

“You will be an amazing mother. I know you will be. You and Clint both will make some amazing and kick ass parents.” Natasha laughed.

“Thanks Steve. That means a lot to me.”

“I mean it. I wish you nothing but happiness. You deserve it.”

“I want that for you too Steve.”

“Hmmm.” Steve asked, looking back into the crowd. Chase was standing off with Thor and Bruce. But then Steve’s eye found Bucky. He was sitting on the couch, Connie right next to him, but Bucky was laughing at something Tony was saying, and he was just so beautiful in that moment, Steve couldn’t help but smile.

“To be happy. You deserve to be happy.”

“I am happy.” Steve looked back at her, smiling a bit, as if to prove that he was indeed, happy.

“Are you?”

“Natasha…”

“No.” She replied, reaching up to place a hand on his shoulder. “Think about it. Don’t just answer that you’re happy. Just think about it. How happy are you when you wake up in the morning? What makes you smile?” Her hand fell off his shoulder to grab his hand and give it a little squeeze. “What makes you get up in the morning? What makes your life worth living?” Steve swallowed.

“I…”

“If you’ll excuse me, I have something I have to tell the dork that is the love of my life.” Steve just smiled as she walked over to Clint, pulling him away from everyone else.

“Hey.” Steve looked over as Chase walked up to him, grabbing his hand and giving it a quick squeeze. “How are you doing?”

“Alright. And yourself?”

“It’s nice talking with everyone.” Steve smiled and pushed his forehead against Chase’s shoulder.

“I think I’m a bit overwhelmed at the moment. I’m gonna go outside.”

“Want some company?” Chase asked. Now this was something Steve had been wanting this whole week. This was the Chase he was used to. But this wasn’t the Chase he wanted right now. The time Chase wants to get away from everyone is the time Steve actually wants to be alone.

Go figure.

“Nah, I’ll be just a minute.” Chase nodded, giving Steve a quick kiss before he went back to the crowd. Chase then backed away as he walked out onto the small balcony. The cool air felt nice against his face.

He probably should have grabbed a jacket, he’s probably going to get sick if he stays out here too long. He didn’t care right now. Looking outside, he could see all the Christmas lights and it just made Steve smile.

Steve couldn’t help but think about what Natasha had said. Every time someone had asked if Steve was happy, Steve always answered yes. He was alive, he was healthy. He had friends, sure he didn’t have much of a family anymore, but he had the memories, he was loved and that was enough for him.

But when he really thought about it, was he actually happy? Natasha had a certain glow to her, you would see it with her smile and her laugh. You knew that she was genuinely happy. Was it Clint that did that for her?

Steve looked out over the horizon and suddenly, he didn’t feel quite as happy anymore.

He had told everyone that Chase had made him happy, but that was nothing anymore. Now all he brought was confusion. Nothing was the same anymore. Everything was supposed to be better now that the truth had come out, but it was only worse.

Steve felt better seeing a man he can’t ever have than he did seeing his own goddamn boyfriend.

Steve ran his fingers through his hair, letting out a loud sigh. It was times like this that he wished his mother were still alive. She would know what to do.

“Hey Steve?” Steve looked over and found Bucky peaking out through the sliding door.

“Yeah?”

“Natasha and Clint have an announcement for us. You coming back in?”

“Yeah. Just give me a minute.” Steve turned back around, taking a deep breath. He felt a tear roll down his cheek, and wow, he hadn’t even realized he had been crying. He heard the door shut behind him and felt a hand on his shoulder.

“You okay?” Steve looked over, trying to smile. “You look a little off.”

“I’m alright, just, you know, I was just thinking.”

“About what?” “My mother.” Steve looked back out at the city. “I really wish she was here. She would know how to help me with things. I really need her right now.”

“I’m sure she’s there, telling you what to do, you just have to listen.” Steve looked over at Bucky and found that Bucky was a lot closer than he first thought.

“Thanks Buck.” Bucky just smiled, clapping him on the back.

“Come on. Natasha will have both our asses if we aren’t in there for this big announcement.” Steve nodded, walking with Bucky back inside.

Everyone was crowded in the living room around Natasha and Clint.

It was then that Steve realized that it had been Bucky who had gotten him. Why hadn’t it been Chase? Chase was the only one who knew he was out there. He quickly looked over and found Chase snuggled in on the couch with Tony and Pepper.

Steve walked over and knelt down next to Chase, grabbing his hand, bringing Chase’s attention to him.

“Why didn’t you come out and get me?” Chase should have come out anyways. Sure Steve wanted to be alone, but Chase could have come out and checked on him, to make sure he was doing alright. Isn’t that what a boyfriend should do?

But he sent Bucky out there instead?

“Bucky offered.” Chase replied, not even looking at him. “Shush, Natasha is about to spill something.” Steve just looked at him, and again, it seemed like everything was falling into place.

He wasn’t as happy as he thought he had been with Chase. Things were going good, but now, now it was clear that things weren’t as good as they once were. Chase had said he was okay with what happened between him and Bucky, but it was obvious that he wasn’t.

Steve had been trying to make this work, but maybe he wasn’t trying hard enough. He was snapped out of his thoughts by a loud cheer erupting throughout the room. He looked over and found that he was now alone, that everyone had gathered around Clint and Natasha.

Steve forced a smile and pulled himself up, making his way towards the crowd.

\-------------------------

“Did you have fun tonight?” Chase asked, bumping up against Steve as they walked along the cold sidewalk. It was starting to snow, but Steve had decided to walk back to the apartment. Sam had left a little earlier than when Steve was ready.

Besides, Steve stayed behind to help clean up. And Chase decided to keep him company. Steve was shocked. He hadn’t expected Chase to stay.

“I did. Did you enjoy yourself?” Chase smiled.

“It was nice. At first, I wasn’t so sure, since most of the people there were your friends…”

“Natasha is your friend too. And you know Tony and Pepper better than I do. They are all your friends.”

“Yeah, but, like, you know how it is. Everyone being so close. I thought it would turn out being a little awkward. But it wasn’t.”

“I’m glad.” Steve reached over and grabbed Chase’s hand.

“I can’t believe Natasha is pregnant. I mean, I’m so happy for her and Clint. She has wanted this for a while.”

“She has?”

“Well, at work, one of the ladies there got pregnant a few months ago, and I just remember Natasha being upset by it. I guess when she was younger, something happened, she didn’t really say what, but she had thought that she wouldn’t be able to have children, ever.”

“Really?”

“Yeah, it was one of the reasons she was never really attached in relationships.”

“Well then, I am even happier now, for both her and Clint. They are going to make one helluva family.”

“Yeah, they are.”

Steve and Chase stopped right in front of the apartment. Steve could see the light in the window, showing that Sam was home and still up. Chase had mentioned going home tonight, that he had something going on tomorrow. But maybe Steve would try, one more time. Since it was Christmas.

“You sure you don’t want to stay?”

“I would love to Steve, but I have to be up really early tomorrow and I just…”

“I understand.”

“Is something up? You’ve seen kind of distant today.” Steve nodded, looking down the street. It was filled with different color lights and everything was turning white from all the snow. If Steve had his camera, he would be taking a million pictures of this small scene.

But it was so peaceful and very calming.

“Can I ask you something?”

“Sure. You know you can ask me anything.”

“Are you happy?”

“What do you mean?”

“Are you happy, being with me?” Chase’s face fell.

“What do you mean? Did I do something? Steve…”

“It’s just a question. I mean nothing by it…”

“You mean something by it Steve.” Chase asked, taking a step back. “You don’t just ask someone if they are happy with you. Are you breaking up with me?”

“No! No, Chase.” Steve took a step towards him, grabbing his hand again. “I just, after I told you about my past feelings for Bucky, it seems that you have been very distant from me and I just, I wanted to be sure that you are happy in our relationship.”

“Are you happy Steve?”

“I’m asking you.”

“I’m not unhappy. I don’t mean to be distant, it’s not something I intended.” Chase took a deep breath, dropping Steve’s hand to run his hand over his face. “After you told me about Bucky, I just, I thought I was okay with it, and I am. I understand. I used to have a ridiculous crush on Stark when I first met him, but of course, after meeting Pepper, I knew there was no way I stood a chance, that and the fact that Tony doesn’t swing that way, that I know of.”

“Then why do I feel like you have been avoiding me?”

“It still hurts, knowing that your heart may belong to someone else.” Steve looked down.

“I don’t know why I’m doing all this one Christmas.” Steve responded. “I love being with you. You are smart and funny, and handsome as hell, but there is just something about Bucky. I can’t get over him. No matter how hard I try.”

“Look,” Chase said, straightening up a bit. “I like being around you, and well, I would still like to be with you.” It took Steve a bit to get what Chase was implying.

“But just not in a relationship? Something casual, you mean?”

“If you want, I mean, jesus, I don’t know!” Chase said, releasing a small laugh. Steve didn’t know what to say. He really wasn’t expecting this when he had asked this question. If he would have known, he would have definitely waited.

He did not want to break up with Chase. Especially on Christmas.

“I want us to work out.” Steve whispered.

“I do too Steve, but the thing is, this thing you and I have, is never going to work with Bucky still in the picture.” Steve looked down at the ground, making a little circle in the snow.

He knew this. He knew this all along.

“You are a great person Steve, but I watched you today, you looked so happy to see Bucky, and the look you gave him, that is something that I have never seen directed at me. Ever.”

“Chase…”

“Steve.” Chase stepped forward, cupping Steve’s face in his hands “I love you so much.”

“I love you too.” Steve whispered, reaching up to grab a hold of Chase’s hands.

“But you love Bucky more, and that’s alright. So, just, think things through, and give me a call, alright?” Steve nodded as Chase leaned forward and pressed a quick kiss to his lips. “Goodbye Steve.”

Steve just stood there, watching Chase walk away from him.

He couldn’t believe that he and Chase had broken up Christmas.

Fuck.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So yeah, Chase and Steve are done, sorta. I wasn't planning on doing it, but that's just what happens.
> 
> And Natasha being pregnant, that was a random last minute thing I added in as well, because well, come on. Natasha and Clint would make amazing parents.
> 
> Thanks again for reading and let me know what you think!


	27. (195.)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yay another chapter, say what?
> 
> As always, thanks to everyone for reading, commenting, subscribing and leaving kudos. You are all amazing and I love you all!

“I’m sorry, but what did you just say?” Peggy was standing on the opposite side of the room, arms crossed with that look on her face that Steve hated seeing. He called it her disapproval at Steve’s actions look. Although he was thankful that she had stayed over there on the other side of the room. He had fully expected her to walk over to him and slap him or something. That’s usually how conversations like this ended.

“Don’t make me say it again, Peggy.” Steve whispered, looking down at the floor. He didn’t feel like looking at her right now.

“Steve, you told me that you and Chase had broken up?”

“We did.”

“Then why did I find you and him all cuddled together on the couch this morning?”

“Because…” She just raised an eyebrow and god, Steve didn’t want to admit it ever to her. He had already told her, and now she was making him say it again and explain it. Something he did not want to do.

“I’m waiting.”

“Look, I know this isn’t my best idea, okay? You don’t have to tell me that. I thought about this, for a while and well, things with Chase are better now.”

“Now that you guys aren’t officially in a relationship?”

“Yes.”

“You’re a moron.” She finally walked away, heading towards the kitchen.

“Peggy…”

“I’m not going to tell you how to live your life, Steve, but I’m telling you right now, this is stupid and it will not end well.”

“Chase seems thinks it’s a good idea.”

“Well then he is just as big of a moron as you are.”

“It’s just sex now. Nothing wrong with that. We don’t even fuck all the time. The other day he came over just to watch a movie. We are still going to that film festival next month as well. We’re still friends.” Peggy took a deep breath and Steve could tell she was trying to remain calm. This was one of the reasons he was going to keep this all a secret.

He hadn’t planned on telling anyone really. But Sam happened to catch Chase leaving his room one night so Steve had to tell him. And then that meant telling Peggy. Of course, her catching Steve and Chase was not how he wanted to tell her.

It was all just one big mess.

Steve knew this wasn’t the best idea he had. He wasn’t a complete idiot. He ignored Chase for a week. Thinking things through, exploring all his options. He knew he could always try and salvage the relationship they had. It could work. Bucky would be getting married soon which left zero hope for Steve that something could happen between them. Chase was such a good guy. He was perfect for Steve really. They could be happy together, if they just tried.

But he knew in the end, even with Bucky married, Steve would still have those feelings for him. They would never go away. And that was something he couldn’t do to Chase. Until Bucky was completely gone from his life, he really couldn’t be with anyone.   
It was all rather depressing.

But then he thought about what Chase had mentioned. That they could still be together, just not officially dating.

_Fuck buddies._

Steve hated that term. But it was something that could work out for the best for both of them. Maybe. Hopefully.

So he had called Chase, and they talked about it. They both decided to give it a try. They would be friends, like before. Hang out, do all the normal things they had done before. And occasionally, they would fuck.

It was simple.

And so far, there hadn’t really been any problems. Steve and Chase had discussed that they were not going to be monogamous with one another. Steve would. Most likely. But he told Chase that he could always start dating and all that, if he wanted to.

He didn’t want to hold Chase back if he was going to be happy with someone else.

“Steve…”

“You don’t have to tell me that this is a bad idea, I already know it is. But right now, it’s good. We are both content with what we have now. That’s all that matters at this moment.”

“And where does Bucky fall into all of this?”

“Um, nowhere. It doesn’t concern Bucky.”

“Everything in your life concerns Bucky. I don’t know why you try and deny it anymore.”

“What do you mean?”

“You and Chase broke up because of Bucky. Right?”

“Yeah. He couldn’t handle that I have feelings for him.”

“And this, casual fucking makes things so much better?”

“Peggy…”

“I’m just trying to understand. By all means, you can fuck whoever you want, but Steve, this can’t end well, regardless of how casual you keep it.”

“I just want Chase to remain in my life.”

“Steve, you can’t keep all your exes in your life.”

“I don’t. Remember Brock? I would really rather not have him in my life.” Peggy let out a little laugh at that.

“I mean, you and I have remained friends. Now Chase, and hell, you even managed to keep Bucky, and you two didn’t even date.”

“Look, if this gets too weird, then I will end it. Chase and I had a thorough discussion about all of this. We know exactly what we are doing.”

“I don’t approve of this little agreement you two have, but if it’s what you want, then you do whatever makes you happy.”

“I’m not happy Peggy. I know that now. But until I can find what does make me happy, then, this will just have to do.”

“What is so goddamn special about Barnes anyways?” Peggy walked up to Steve, bumping into his shoulder. Steve just laughed.

“I wish I knew. Sometimes I feel like life would be so much simpler if I hadn’t even met him.”

“But you wouldn’t change it, even if you could?”

“No. I wouldn’t.” Steve replied, leaning against the counter. “Back at Christmas, Natasha asked me to think about what makes me happy. Why do I get up each morning? What makes life worth living for me?”

“And what did you discover?”

“Oh, you know, the obvious reasons. But, waking up and seeing that I have a text message from Bucky, even if it is just some stupid joke he read on the back of a laffy taffy wrapper or something Becca had told him, that is what makes me happy. I can’t explain why I feel this way, because honestly, it shouldn’t. But I feel like I have known Bucky my whole life. I love being around him, I like that Bucky makes me want to be a better person. I can’t really find the perfect words to describe it, but he makes me happy. I wake up each morning, hoping that I get to see his smile, and knowing that he is in my life, somehow, that’s good enough for me.”

“Is it?”

“It is. I know it’s not healthy. But it’s enough. For right now, it’s enough.” Peggy smiled up at him. She didn’t say anything for a bit, but she took the few steps between them and pulled him into a hug.

“I just want what’s best for you.”

“I know you do. I just wish I knew what was best for me.” Peggy pulled away, rubbing his arms a bit before turning around.

“Now, you mentioned something before about me giving you a lift?”

“Right. Natasha wants me to stop by Stark Industries, said she had something she needed to show me.”

“Well, are you ready ‘cause I’m leaving now, with or without you. I have to meet up with Angie soon.”

“Yep!” Steve said, grabbing his jacket and following Peggy outside.

  
+++

  
“So, why are you going to Stark Industries again?” Peggy asked as she parked into a spot in front of the huge ugly building that was known as Stark Tower. He took a deep breath as he unbuckled his seatbelt.

“Natasha wanted me to visit. Said she had something she had to show me. Chase is working too, so I might visit him as well.”

“Well, good luck!” Steve just smiled as he leaned over and pressed a small kiss on her cheek.

“Thanks.”  
As Steve walked up to the front doors, he took another deep breath. He hadn’t been to Stark Industries since he had last come here to visit Brock.

Wait.

Brock worked here. 

Shit.

What if he ran into Brock? What would happen? Steve would have to make a mental note to avoid that division at all costs. He stepped in and immediately felt overwhelmed.

He had forgotten how amazing this place was. And big. Did he mention that this place was humongous? Steve walked up to the little navigation panel and looked for Natasha’s office. Once he had spotted it he was on his way.

He was standing in the elevator when a voice suddenly filled the box.

“Why, if it isn’t the infamous Steve Rogers! What brings to my humble abode.” Steve tried really hard to not cringe at Tony’s voice. Lord knows he could probably see him.

“Tony Stark.” Steve smiled. He loved Tony. Really, he did. He had read about all the good that Tony has done, and he was really a great person. Steve could just only handle so much of him.

“Pepper and I will be there to meet with you. Where are you heading?”

“To see Natasha.”

“Brilliant. See you soon.” And just like that, it was quiet again.

The elevator doors opened and Steve stepped out, entering onto the floor. And just like he was expecting, Tony and Pepper were standing there, waiting for him.

“Rogers.” Tony said, stepping up to shake his hand. Steve smiled before looking to Pepper.

“Hello Steve.” Steve smiled, shaking her hand as well.

“So what does Natasha want?” Leave it to Tony to get right to the point.

“She wanted to show me something.” Tony just nodded, clapping his hands together.

“Barnes is here as well. You will have to stop by and see him. I’m sure he would love that.”

“Bucky is here?”

“I’ve been doing some tests on his arm. I am working on some sort of upgrade for him. He is down in the gym at the moment. Stop by and see him, if you get the chance. He should like that very much.” Steve didn’t know what to think of that remark, but he would definitely have to try and find Bucky. 

If he could.

“It was nice to see you Steve, but Tony and I have a meeting we can’t miss.” Steve just nodded as Pepper shoved Tony away. Steve just smiled as he made his way through the offices, looking for the familiar red head he had grown to love so much.

“Steve!” Steve looked over as he found Natasha waving him over, with Chase right by her side. Steve just smiled as he walked over to them. Steve could see the little bit of a baby bump she was now sporting. 

“Hey guys.” Natasha pulled him into a hug and Steve couldn’t help but notice how much she was glowing now. He had always noticed she had a certain glow to her, but now, it was like it was the most obvious thing in the universe.

She was absolutely breathtaking.

Chase smiled at Steve as he pulled him into a hug as well.

“So, what was this thing you had to show me?” Steve asked, crossing his arms and leaning against the desk opposite of them.

“Oh! Right.” Natasha turned around and started rummaging through her desk. “I already showed Chase, got his opinion on the matter.” Steve looked over at Chase and suddenly felt a bit uneasy about all of this. Chase seemed to sense this and started to make his retreat.

“I’ve got to go. A lot of work to do. I will see you later Steve, we still on for this weekend?”

“Of course.” Steve said, nodding. He looked back to Natasha and found her looking through her phone. 

“So, the other day I was hanging out with James. We were looking at baby stuff, which we found the cutest bed set, by the way.” She said, giving Steve a little smile before going back to her phone.

“That sounds nice.”

“Anyways, I had left my phone at home so I used his phone to call Clint and everything.”

“Okay.” Steve wasn’t quite sure where this conversation was heading, but he had a feeling he wasn’t going to like it.

“And…” She said, looking back up at Steve. “I found these on his phone.”

“You looked through his phone.” Natasha looked up him. 

“Steve, Bucky has seen me at my best and at worst. He has literally been inside of me, okay?” Steve tried not show a face of disgust at that notion, he would really like to not think about that. “I don’t think looking through his pictures is the worst thing I could do.”

Steve didn’t really believe that as he took Natasha’s phone and looked down at the image on the screen. And well, it was a picture of him.  
In fact, it was the picture Steve had shown Bucky all the months ago when he first told Bucky about what he had been like before. He couldn’t believe it.

“Bucky had this on his phone?” Steve asked.

“Yeah. And he had this one as well.” She reached out and swiped the picture and there was the picture of Steve with his beard.

Steve didn’t know what to do with this kind of information. Why was Natasha showing him this? He was sure there was some logical explanation to why these were on his phone?

There had to be.

But then Steve thought about when he first showed Bucky those pictures. Steve had handed Bucky the phone and Bucky had taken a lot of time looking at the picture. Had he sent it to himself somehow?

“Nat…”

“Steve, this is important stuff.”

“Why?”

“Why what?”

“Why are you showing me this?” He then remembered that she had said she talked with Chase about it too. 

God dammit. 

“Why did you show this to Chase?”

“Well, you two aren’t dating anymore. I figured I would ask his opinion on the matter as well.” Steve let out a small sigh, leaning against the desk. This is why it wasn’t good to keep secrets. If Natasha had known that Steve and Chase were still somewhat together, would she had shown him anyways?

Probably. Knowing Natasha.

“Natasha.”

“What?”

“I thought you were going to drop this.”

“I was. Because honestly, I thought Bucky maybe didn’t have feelings for you after all, but Steve, there is no other explanation as to why he would have these on his phone. Even Clint says that’s odd. Why would a guy have pictures saved to his phone of another guy? Hmmm?”

“I didn’t want to know about this, Natasha. Why would you tell me this?”

“Because you deserve to know. Everyone else can see it, why can’t you?”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about. Bucky is in love with Connie.”

“Steve. You know that is bullshit.”

“I-“

“No, you listen here. That picture you gave Connie, the one of Bucky. That is what Bucky looks like when he is in love. I know. I have seen it. I have seen that look directed at me and I have seen that look directed at Connie long ago. He doesn’t look at her like that anymore. He doesn’t look at me like that anymore.”

“Nat don’t…”

“Tell me Steve, in that picture, who is Bucky looking at?”

“You said you were going to drop this Natasha! Now god dammit, I am not going to come in between Bucky and Connie. I made a move on him before, remember? Look what happened? I almost lost the man who means the most to me. I am not doing that again.”

Natasha didn’t say anything as she crossed her arms. She just looked at Steve and Steve couldn’t keep eye contact with her.

“I spoke with Becca.”

“Of course you did.”

“Hey, don’t be a smartass with me, Steve Rogers. I spoke with Becca after I found the pictures…”

“Natasha for once, just…just don’t. I don’t want to know, okay? You asked me before what makes me happy. Bucky makes me happy. I like what we have now. I don’t want to fuck that up. So just, let it be.” Natasha looked up at him, and she only gave him a small nod.

“I just want you to be happy Steve. You deserve to be happy.”

“Not everyone gets to live in a fairy tale.”

“Bucky’s in the gym. He would like to see you. He hates coming here and doing all these tests. It would make him happy to see you.”

“First Stark and now you?”

“I’m just saying. Bucky would be pissed if he were to come up here and I told him you were here and you didn’t stop and say hello.”

“I’m going, I’m going, just…you should tell Bucky you found those pictures.”

“Like there is a chance in hell that that I would do that.” Steve just gave her a look as he made his way back to the elevator. “Chase agrees with me, by the way.”

Again, that is something Steve didn’t want to know.

“Natasha?” He said as he turned back around towards her.

“Yes Steve?”

“For last time, stop meddling with this. I’m not going to ask again.” Natasha just smiled as she crossed her arms.

“One day you will be thankful for my meddling.” Steve just laughed as he stepped into the elevator.

+++

It took Steve a little bit to find the gym, turns out it was on the very bottom floor. But he found it none the less. He stepped off the elevator and the first thing that came across his ears was I Saw the Sign by Ace of Base, echoing throughout the room. He let out a small smile as he made his way through the gym.

The place was huge, but there was no one else in the room, besides Bucky.

Steve spotted him off in the back corner, running on the treadmill. If he had seen or heard Steve enter the room, he didn’t show it. Steve walked up to him, leaning against the treadmill that was next to him.

“Interesting song choice?” Steve said as he watched Bucky jump, reaching down to grab the handles as he started slowing his pace. He probably should have announced his presence earlier. Scaring him while he was running probably wasn’t the best idea.

“Holy shit Stevie!” Bucky gasped once he finally found a stopping spot. He took a couple of deep breaths and gulped down his water before stepping off the treadmill. Steve noticed that he had a bunch of wires stuck on to him, ones that he pulled off quickly.

“Mr. Barnes?” A voice echoed throughout the room.

“Yes Jarvis?” Bucky asked, looking up at the ceiling. Steve had completely forgotten about Tony’s little AI that roamed all through Stark Industries.

“Is everything alright? You pulled out your connections to…”

“Yeah, yeah, tell Tony I’m finished.”

“Will do, sir.”

“Ace of Base, huh?” Bucky smiled, leaning back against the treadmill.

“Well, Tony has the most interesting selection. It was either that or yodeling.”

“Tony has yodeling?”

“He thinks he’s hilarious.” Steve just laughed. 

“So, you’re doing tests for your arm?”

“Yeah, Tony thinks he might have come up with something new. Besides, he has me come in all the time to test out the arm, making sure everything is working, and really, just to test me as well.”

“Sounds like a lot of fun.”

“Yeah, not really, so Steve,” Bucky shoved his shoulder against Steve’s. “What brings you here?”

“Oh, well, Natasha invited me over, she said she had something she needed to show me.”

“Oh, and that was?” Bucky asked, leaning forward a bit.

“Well…” Steve was about the respond but was interrupted when the elevator doors opened. Steve looked over, and instantly felt every single good feeling he had in him drain from his body.

It was Brock.

Brock walked up to them, big smile on his face.

“Well well well, so the rumors were true. Steve Rogers is in the building.”

“What do you want?” Steve asked, sounding very annoyed. Maybe Brock would get the hint. Not likely, but still, it was worth a shot.

“I can’t come and chat with you guys?”

“Well, I can’t imagine that we have anything to chat about, so not really.” Steve replied but Brock jut ignored him. He actually shoved passed him so he was standing in front of Bucky.

“You know, I thought I recognized you before, but now, I know I know you from somewhere.”

“I don’t think…” Bucky started but he was interrupted.

“Alexander Pierce.” Steve watched as Bucky’s entire body tensed. “You were his little bitch, weren’t you?”

“I think that is quite enough, Brock.” Steve turned as Tony Stark entered the room. “I believe I had you sent to floor 57. So why are you all the way down here?” Brock didn’t say anything, just turned and walked out of the room. “Barnes, how are your vitals?” Tony said, walking over to the computer that was attached to the treadmill. “Jarvis, print me the results.”

“Yes sir.”

Steve was never so thankful for Tony’s presence than he was at this moment. For once he wasn’t all in your face, he was just going on with his business. It was wonderful. 

Tony walked over and grabbed a small piece of paper as he stepped up to Bucky.

“Looks like you are in good shape, Barnes.” He said, not even looking at the paper.

“I could have told you that already.” Bucky replied, giving Tony a small smile.

“Well, it never hurts to check.” Tony glanced over at Steve, then back at Bucky. “Well, I’ll just leave you two gentleman to your business. I need to go find Pepper anyways. I believe we were in the middle of a meeting.”

Steve waited until Tony was gone before stepping up to Bucky again.

“You alright?”

“What did you ever see in that piece of shit Rumlow?” Bucky didn’t sound upset, he sounded more annoyed.

“Honestly, I really don’t know. To be fair though, he didn’t always act like that. When we first started dating, he was actually an alright guy. It was only until a bit later that he turned into an asshole.”

“Speaking of, how are you and Chase doing?” Right. Steve hadn’t exactly told Bucky about him and Chase yet. He had meant to, just, he couldn’t ever find the time to bring it up.

“Yeah, we broke up.” Bucky’s smile fell from his face.

“What? When?”

“Christmas, actually.”

“After Natasha’s?”

“Yeah. Turns out we both weren’t happy in what we had. We are still friends and all that, now, I guess, our relationship has turned a bit more on the casual side.” 

“Casual, as in?”

“We’re friends who…”

“You’re friends who fuck?” Steve ran a hand through his hair. He really hated talking about this with Bucky, of all people. Jesus, Bucky was probably judging him hardcore.

“Sometimes. Mostly we have just been hanging out. It’s nice not having the stress of an actual relationship on us. We just go with the flow.”

“And you like that?”

“It’s not ideal, but it’s something.” Steve replied with a shrug. Bucky didn’t say anything for a while, just stared at Steve as if he was studying him. “How is Connie?”

“She’s great. She really liked the gift you gave her.”

“Glad she approves.” Steve replied with a smile. “Speaking of pictures, I have been meaning to ask you, that picture in the play room at the clinic, where did you get it?”

“Hmm?” Right, not the smoothest move into this conversation, but whatever. Steve had already said it. It’s done now.

“The picture of me in the clinic, where did you get it?”

“Oh, Sam gave it to me. I asked him for a picture of you that didn’t look posed or anything. One that seemed natural. He gave me that one.” Bucky then pushed passed him, heading back towards the door. “You know, I feel like we haven’t had the time to hang out much lately.” Steve walked over to him and smiled. 

“Yeah?”

“Yeah, and well, I haven’t been able to make it into Marty’s in a while, maybe we can go, sometime soon?” 

“Of course,” Steve replied, trying his best not to practically beam at Bucky. “We can plan something.”

“Great. How about Thursday evening? I have my last appointment at 4.”

“Great. I’ll meet you at the clinic then?” Bucky just smiled as he clapped his hand on Steve’s shoulder.

“Perfect. It’s a date.” Steve whole body went numb as Bucky walked right out of the gym. Bucky didn’t even seem to notice what he just said. He just kept on walking.

“You coming?” Steve looked up and found Bucky staring at him.

“Yeah. Yeah, I’m coming.” Bucky just smiled and continued on his way. Steve took a deep breath and followed after, trying his best to keep his heart from beating out of his chest.

He could do this. He could do this. It wasn’t a real date, of course. It was just a phrase. It was just a phrase.

God, he was fucked.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading!
> 
> Let me know what you think!


	28. (197.)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Whoa, I am so sorry for the long wait. I got a little side-tracked and this chapter was just, I don't know. It's all over the place and I'm sorry. Next chapter should hopefully be a bit more organized.
> 
> As always, thanks for reading and leaving comments and kudos and subscribing, It means a lot to me and I'm glad that you guys are enjoying the story!
> 
> Again, any mistakes are mine, per usual.

“Steve, you know you’re on time, and even if you were falling behind, it’s not like I’m going to fire you.” Steve let out a small sigh as he twirled around his chair, staring at the ceiling.

He was exhausted; more mentally exhausted than anything. He had stayed up all night working on this damn illustration because he knew Peter had a deadline to meet and that deadline happened to be today. 

He had been so focused on other things, that he had completely forgot about the illustration, and then he was freaking out over Peter being upset with him, (which, he knew that he wouldn’t really be upset but still, there was a chance), so he had stayed up all night to get the illustration done.

He was just so tired. He wasn’t thinking straight.

“I know Pete, but still, I just…you could always find someone better than me…”

“Whoa, hold on there, buddy. No one is better than you Steve. I’m not looking for anyone else. Nor would I. Your art is just fine. More than fine, it’s fuckin’ perfect.

So stop worrying about that. Email me a copy of your illustration and I will put it with the others, but man, maybe you should just get some sleep. You sound exhausted.”

“Peter…” 

“My deadlines don’t match with your deadlines, remember that. Whenever you have time for an illustration, send it to me. There is no real hurry. I’ve been working on other things as well.”

“I know, but I want you have something for your deadlines.” Steve let out a loud yawn. 

“Steve, get some sleep.” 

“Wish I could get some sleep, but I have plans.” Steve replied, running a hand over his face. He just wanted to sleep all day if he could. “I have dinner plans with a friend otherwise I would be sleeping the day away.”

“Steve, I’m sure they wouldn’t hate you if you canceled.” Steve knew Bucky wouldn’t care if he canceled. But Steve had wanted to see Bucky. He wanted to have this so called dinner ‘date’ with Bucky. He had been looking forward to it all week.

He was not going to cancel because he was tired.

Nope.

“Well, I’ll get this sent off to you, alright? When you get time, you can send me some other pages so I can work on them.”

“Alright. Talk to you later, Steve.”

“Bye Peter.” Steve hung up and let out another loud sigh. 

Maybe he can take a little powernap before lunch. He could do that. He could make that happen. Then he would be all rested up by the time he has to go meet Bucky. Sam was supposed to be out for the day so there would be no one here to distract him. 

He opened up his laptop and sent off the email to Peter. He glanced down at the illustration and frowned. It could be so much better. But there was only so much Steve could do with no sleep.

He was thrown from his thoughts by a quick knock on the door. Steve almost laughed.

Looks like he won’t be getting that nap in anytime soon.

He made his way towards the front door and found Chase standing on the other side.

Oh.

“Chase?” Steve asked, letting confusion mask his tone. 

Usually Chase called him before coming over. It was part of their little arrangement. He wasn’t expecting Chase today. His face must have shown his confusion because Chase smiled.

“Did you forget we had a movie date today?” Chase asked. He didn’t seem upset at all, more amused than anything. Steve closed his eyes and yes, he and Chase had a movie date today. They had set it up before his dinner plans with Bucky.

Shit.

“Chase, I’m sorry…come in.” Steve moved aside as Chase walked in. He glanced over at the clock above the stove. It was only 9 o’clock in morning. Fuck. It felt so much later than that.

“Rough night?” Chase asked, walking into the kitchen, setting his coat on the counter.

“I’ve been up all night working on an illustration for Peter. My brain isn’t really working right now. I can’t believe I forgot.”

“I can leave if you want, so you can get some sleep. We can always reschedule. No big deal.”

“Nah.” Steve replied with a smile. “We can still watch a movie.” Steve let out a small yawn as he walked over to the couch, his bare feet thumping against the cold floor. He should probably think about getting dressed soon.

What did it really matter? It was just Chase. He had time to get ready later.

“Steve, really. You can sleep if you want. I honestly don’t mind. You look like the walking dead.” Steve let out a little laugh.

“No. No. We had plans.”

“Steve….”

“Sit down, I’ll pick something. What are you in the mood for?” 

“You can pick.” Chase replied with a frustrated sigh. Steve knew he was stubborn, but he had made plans with Chase and he was not going to cancel them because he had forgotten. He could sleep later. 

“How about….Guys and Dolls?” Chase hummed in acknowledgment. Steve popped in the movie and made his way back to the couch. “So, what’s new?” Steve asked as the movie started. It seemed like it had been forever since he had hung out with Chase. He barely saw the man anymore.

“Oh nothing.” But Chase wasn’t even looking at him. He was too busy looking on his phone. That was weird. Chase was never on his phone when he was with Steve.

Then again, Chase was barely on his phone at all, except if something big was going in at Stark Industries.

“Who’re you texting?” Steve asked, meaning to be playful. Chase just shrugged, setting his phone off to the side.

“No one.” Well it that wasn’t avoiding the topic. Steve almost wanted to laugh. Steve wasn’t a very good liar, but at this moment, Chase was even worse than he was.

“Chase…”

“It’s this guy…” Steve was instantly more awake now, turning to face him. 

A guy? Now this was new information.

“Oh, really? Who is it?” Steve felt like a gossipy teenage girl but he didn’t care. This was exciting and new.

“It’s no one Steve…”

“But you like him. I can tell.” Steve said with a smile. When Chase was looking down at his phone, he had been smiling and well, Steve knew that look all too well. He was pretty sure he looked like that when he was texting Bucky. There was something there, even if Chase didn’t see it. “You can at least tell me his name.”

“Richard.”

“Where did you meet him?”

“He came into the work the other day. He’s helping Tony and Bruce with their new project. He’s an architect.”

“Oh. And have you talked with him?” Obviously he had, since they had somehow exchanged numbers. But it could be just work related. Steve didn’t know. Which was why he wanted more information. If Chase liked the man, Steve would like to help him out, if he could. Any way possible.

“Steve…I would really rather not talk about him when I’m with you.”

“Chase, you know you can talk to me about this. I told you, you are free to date whoever you want and…”

“Steve, just…” Chase took a deep breath. “Let’s not talk about this anymore, okay?” Steve looked at Chase and knew he wasn’t going to get anymore information from him.

He wanted Chase to be happy. That was all. But if Chase didn’t want to talk about it, then Steve wouldn’t push it.

“I just want you to be happy Chase. That’s all.” Steve whispered.

“I know Steve.” Chase reached over and grabbed his hand. “I’m not ready to talk about it yet.”

“Okay. But when you’re ready…”

“I know. I can talk with you.” Chase said with a smile. “Now, let’s enjoy some young Marlon Brando and Frank Sinatra, alright?” Steve just laughed as he pressed play.

* * *

Steve was woken up to the sound of the front door slamming shut. He jolted up in time to see Chase walking up to the TV, taking the movie out.

“Shit.” Steve mumbled, running a hand over his face. Somehow he felt even worse than he did before the movie started. “Did I fall asleep?”

“Within ten minutes. I don’t think you even saw Marlon Brando.”

“Steve fell asleep during a movie?” Sam asked and well, that explains the door slamming shut. Steve stood up, stretching a bit. “What alternate universe have I stepped into. Am I in the Twilight Zone?” Steve just laughed and flipped Sam off, only realizing that Sam wasn’t alone.

“Oh, hello Riley. Wasn’t aware you were in town.” Riley smiled, giving Steve a small wave.

“Arrived a few hours ago actually. I was passing through and decided to visit Sam here.” Steve just smiled as he walked into the kitchen.

“Well it’s always a pleasure having you around Riley.” Steve gripped Riley on the shoulder as he walked on pass him. 

Riley was one Sam’s oldest friends. They had worked together or something, Steve didn’t really remember the exact story. He had heard too many stories to actually pinpoint when they had become friends. He just knew they had history. It was almost like they had always been friends.

He wasn’t going to assume anything about them, but how they acted around each other, it was almost like how he and Peggy acted sometimes, and more recently, how he and Bucky acted. Something had happened between them, there was some history there.

Something.

But he wasn’t going to bring it up. They were happy and that was all that mattered. It wasn’t his place to question things like that.

“And who is this?” Riley said, looking over at Chase. “It seems we haven’t been properly introduced.” 

“I’m Chase.” Chase said, stepping forward, putting a big smile on his face.

“Riley. Are you Steve’s new boyfriend?”

“Ex boyfriend actually.” Riley’s face fell a bit. “But we’re still friends.” Steve didn’t say anything as he walked over to the fridge. He knew it was a messed up situation, but that was the story of Steve’s life. Nothing really made sense anymore.

“It still weird you know.” Sam said, standing next to him.

“What is?” Although Steve had a pretty good idea as to what Sam was talking about. He had been hearing about it a lot recently.

“You and Chase.”

“Like you and Riley aren’t weird either?” Sam just glared at him. 

Ah yes, Steve wasn’t supposed to bring that up. He would blame being tired for that one.

“Right. Sorry. But how are Chase and I any different than me and Peggy?”

“That’s just it! You and Peggy aren’t fucking anymore. But you and Chase…”

“We hardly ever fuck. We mostly just hang out.”

“Mmhhmm, you see the issue there?” Steve sighed. God, can he just go to sleep for 50 years and just forget everything?

“Yeah…” 

“You guys up for another movie? I’m thinking Star Wars.” Riley said as he walked towards the TV.

“Hell yeah!” Chase replied, walking back over to the couch. Steve looked over at Sam and smiled.

“Alright. I could do with some Han Solo being a badass right now.” Sam said, making his way to the couch.

“Psh, come on. Princess Leia is where it’s at.” Steve walked over and grabbed the DVD case before popping in A New Hope.

* * *

The next thing Steve knew, he was being shaken awake.

“What…” He asked, opening his eyes.

“Dude, why don’t you just go sleep? You fell asleep through Star Wars! Star Wars!” Sam shouted.

“I did?” Steve mumbled, not fully awake yet.

“Yeah, we’re almost all the way through Empire Strikes Back. You even missed the epic ‘I am your father’ part.”

“Oh.” Steve replied before bolting off the couch. “Oh! Shit! What time is it?” Chase shrugged as Riley pulled out his phone.

“Um…about 3:45…”

“Fuck!” Steve shouted as he ran off towards the bathroom. He wasn’t even dressed yet and he still had to shower. He needed to shave. He needed to do everything. 

God dammit! 

He had to meet up with Bucky soon. It took him a good half hour to get to the clinic and Bucky said he would be done around 4:30. 

“Dammit!” Steve slammed the bathroom door shut and started the shower.

“Yo Rogers, what’s up?” Sam shouted through the door. Steve stripped off his pants and hopped into the shower.

“I have to meet up with Bucky today for dinner!” Steve shouted as he began to take what was likely to be the fastest shower he had ever done. 

He quickly stepped out of the shower, wrapped the towel around his hips and made his way to the door. When he stepped out of the bathroom, Sam was smiling at him from across the hall.

“Dinner date with Bucky huh?”

“I don’t have time for this Sam. I need to get ready.”

“What you need is sleep. Chase told me you stayed up all night working on one of Peter’s illustrations. I’m sure Bucky would understand if you canceled to get some sleep. You can always reschedule.”

“I barely get to see Bucky anymore these days. I can’t just reschedule. Besides, I’m fine. My little power naps I took today helped.” Sam rolled his eyes and Steve slammed his bedroom door shut. 

He needed to get ready…and fast.

But what should he wear?

Bucky would most likely be dressed up from work, so should Steve dress up as well? Would that be weird?

What the hell was he saying? This wasn’t a real date. This wasn’t even a date! Just a regular dinner between friends. 

Although Bucky called it a date, it was not a date. 

He just needed to be himself. Dress normally. He had no one to impress.

He had put on a button up shirt and a pair of jeans, but decided that it was too dressy. He was over-thinking this, he knew it. But he couldn’t help it. He wanted to look nice, and a horrible part of him wanted to look his best so Bucky could see what he was missing.

But that wouldn’t work anyways. It hadn’t worked before.

Steve threw on a simple t-shirt (that may have been a little bit of the smaller side, but who was really going to notice?) and walked out. He stopped by the bathroom and ran a hand over his chin. He didn’t get the chance to shave. He would just have to deal with going a bit scruffy today. He ran a quick hand through his hair before heading towards the living room.

Chase was sitting on the couch while Sam and Riley were talking in the kitchen. He glanced at the clock and saw that it was just 4:00. Okay, he would have time. He wouldn’t be that late.

He could send Bucky a text on the bus there. It would be fine.

“Want a ride?” Chase asked, standing up. Steve didn’t miss the way Chase took in what he was wearing before heading towards the door.

“Um, sure? If you want to, I mean, I could always just…”

“Nonsense. I’m leaving anyways, might as well take you where you need to go.” Steve smiled as he grabbed his phone and jacket. 

“Okay then. I’ll be back later Sam!” Steve shouted as he walked out the door.

* * *

The ride to the clinic was a silent one. 

Steve couldn’t help but feel awkward. It was a very awkward situation when you thought about it. He had just been hanging out with Chase and now Chase was giving him a ride so he could be with Bucky.

Yeah, it was awkward, considering the history between the three of them. Or well, Steve’s history with them. Nothing like your ex boyfriend taking you to meet up with the guy you’re in love with, and one of the reasons you broke up in the first place.

Yeah, Steve’s life was quite the rollercoaster.

“You’re awfully quiet.” Chase said as he pulled up to the clinic.

“This is weird.”

“Why? I’m just giving you a ride.”

“Yeah, but to meet Bucky.” Chase let out a little laugh as he put the car into park.

“Steve, it doesn’t have to be weird. I don’t have a problem with Bucky. Not anymore. You and I are friends. I want you to be happy, just like you want me to be happy. Bucky makes you happy and I’m alright with that. Nothing too be weird about, okay?” 

“Okay. Thanks Chase.”

“No problem. Have fun.” Steve just smiled as he stepped out of the car and headed inside.

“Rogers!” Steve jumped as Wade shouted at him from across the room. Steve immediately looked around, but found that the clinic was empty. Wade just laughed. “Relax buddy, I wouldn’t have shouted at ya if there were visitors here.”

Steve gave him a weak smile as he walked up to the counter. It was then that Steve realized that he never saw another receptionist here. It was always Wade. Bucky had mentioned before that he had hired another one, but they were never here.

Hmmm.

Not that it really mattered anyways. Just a random thought to distract Steve from the way Wade was looking at him.

“So, Steven…” Steve tried to refrain from rolling his eyes. But he is pretty sure he failed. He could never hide his annoyance with Wade.

“If you’re gonna ask about Peter you might as well drop it now.”

“Come on Steve. I just want to meet the guy.”

“Something tells me that’s not all you want to do.” Wade just laughed as he walked around the counter.

“I think you have my character pegged the wrong way.” Steve just raised an eyebrow. Something told him he was not wrong at all in how he had judged Wade Wilson. 

Something told him he was rather spot on.

“Steve, listen, I have done my research, okay. I know he’s married to Mary Ann…”

“Mary Jane.”

“Right. Whatever. But I can still meet the damn kid. It’s not like I’m gonna jump him the moment I see him.” Steve sighed.

“Look, Peter is very busy, and I don’t think…”

“Why not do a meet and greet?” Wade said, smiling like he just invented the wheel. “That would be perfect! Oh my fuckin’ god Steve, that would just be epic!”

“What?”

“A meet and greet. Like one Saturday, you and Peter come in and maybe do a book reading and sign some shit. You can draw some shit too, like, since that little kid room is dedicated to you and his books, like it would be perfect.”

Steve wasn’t going to lie, that sounded like a great idea. It was a damn good idea. He knew Peter would love to do that. Peter was always up for little meet and greets, anything to see his younger fans.

But still. 

This was Wade Wilson. Steve didn’t want to give Wade the idea that he had come up with a good idea. Who knows what that would do with to his ego?

“That sounds like one heck of a plan.” Steve turned as Bucky walked over to the counter and damn, he looked great. Of course, he always looked great, but the blue button up he was sporting made his eyes stand out even more. His hair wasn’t quite as long to be pulled back completely, but it was getting close. 

Bucky gave Wade a look for him to get back around the counter as he set a folder on the counter. Steve noticed that there was a mother and her son standing behind Bucky. Steve didn’t miss the smile she gave him as he stepped out of the way. In fact, she seemed more interested in Steve than in what Bucky was telling Wade.

Steve immediately looked away as he stepped further away from the counter. He didn’t want to deal with being hit on by a mother. 

Although that would be a new experience for him.

“We should do the meet and greet.” Bucky said, walking over to Steve.

“Buck…”

“Your room is very popular. I’m sure the kids would love it. Their parents too. It would be quite the event.” Steve couldn’t say no to Bucky.

“I can talk with Peter about it…”

“Great! I mean, if he doesn’t want to, that’s fine. I don’t want to force him into it. I don’t want to force you into it. But I think it would be a nice little event for the clinic.” Steve smiled. He loved seeing how excited Bucky got.

“I’ll send him a message and keep you updated.”

“Awesome! Look, I just have to clean things up a bit and then we can go, yeah?”

“Alright. I will just be waiting out here.” Bucky gave him big smile before walking off to the back. Steve looked back over at Wade who was giving him the biggest shit eating grin.

“Hello.” Steve looked up as the woman walked up to him. 

“Um. Hi.” Steve said, looking around. Wade was smirking at him, making an obscene gesture that was so not appropriate for a pediatric clinic. 

“Dr. Barnes mentioned you were the artist who painted the mural. Shawn loves that room.”

“Well, I’m glad he likes it.” She reached out and grabbed his hand. Steve shook it gently, feeling rather awkward now. 

“It’s a pleasure to meet you, Mr. Rogers.” She gave him what only could be the flirtiest smile before walking away. It was then that Steve felt something in his hand. He looked down and saw a little piece of paper. Steve opened up the piece of paper and…

Of course. It was the woman’s number.

“Are you shittin’ me?” He whispered before crumpling up the piece of paper and throwing it away.

“Are you serious Rogers? That lady was damn fine.”

“Well, you can have her number then.” Wade just laughed.

“No thanks. Not really my type. You know,” Wade slithered up next to Steve, moving in impossibly close. “You know, if you ever get tired of waiting for Bucky to open his eyes, I wouldn’t mind taking a tumble with ya.” Steve was sure his jaw cracked by how fast it dropped. Wade just laughed as slapped his hand against Steve’s ass before making his way back to where Bucky had walked off to moments before. 

Steve took a deep breath before he made his way into the children’s play room. He looked over at the mural, and he tried his best to not find any mistakes he may and most likely, had made. If he had more time, he would consider seeing if he could maybe do some touch-ups. Or maybe just redo the whole wall entirely.

That would work.

He could make it a thousand times better.

“Steve? You ready?” Steve looked back and smiled at Bucky, who was leaning against the door frame. 

“Are you done already?”

“Nah, Wade said he would finish cleaning up. Weird, he never offers to stay late and clean, but I’m not going to complain. So we’re good to go.”

“Alrighty then.” Steve said, clapping his hands together. “I’m starving.”

* * *

Darcy was working, of course. Steve was almost beginning to think that she never left this restaurant. 

“I swear, do you ever not work here?” Steve asked with a laugh.

“What can I tell ya?” She replied with a sigh, leaning against Steve’s shoulder. “I need the money. Plus I get some decent tips.” Darcy resituated her shirt, as if to emphasize her point. “We all can’t be doctors, y’know.” She threw a wink Bucky’s way before walking off.

“So, has Natasha been bugging you about baby stuff yet?” Steve asked with a smile. Natasha had been texting him random baby stuff she had seen, or things she had to have. It was all very amusing.

Most recently she had been trying to convince Steve to pain another mural for the baby’s room. It was very tempting. Steve hadn’t given her a definite answer, but secretly he was already planning some ideas for it. If he didn’t do a mural, he could at least do some paintings, like he did for Bucky.

“Yeah. She has been bugging me with, well not exactly bugging, just, every text or call from her is about baby things. Which is fine, I love talking about that shit, but sometimes I want to talk about other things. Meanwhile Connie is bringing up the wedding all the time. It’s getting rather annoying.”

“Oh really?” Well this was something. Bucky never talked wedding things. Steve almost forgot that Bucky was actually engaged. Almost.

“Yeah, I don’t have time for that shit. I have more important things to worry about at the clinic. Besides, we haven’t even picked out a date yet. She needs to calm down.”

“Well Buck, she obviously wants to get married, wedding planning usually starts once you get engaged. Maybe you need to have a discussion with her about it.”

“I’m just saying, Natasha and Clint are getting married first, so we don’t need to think about that shit right now.”

“I don’t know Buck, venues fill up pretty fast.” Bucky just rolled his eyes, but then smiled like he had just thought of something brilliant.

“You know.” He said, straightening up. “There is one thing I have been thinking about for when I do get married.”

“And what is that?”

“Who I want standing up there with me.” Steve’s stomach dropped. This was not a conversation he wanted to have. He knew what was coming. He was not prepared for this. 

Not at all.

“And who do you want?” Steve whispered. His throat suddenly felt really dry. He reached out and grabbed his water, taking a large gulp.

“Well, you stupid.” Steve tried not to react too ridiculously, but he may have choked on his water and judging from Bucky’s reaction, he failed miserably. 

“Oh.”

“You act like you were expecting someone else.”

“Well yeah, Natasha. She is your best man, except in woman form.”

“Well, she’s gonna be there too. But I really want you up there as well. So, will you?”

“Um, well, yeah, if you really want me to.”

“You don’t sound so sure.” Steve took a deep breath.

“Of course I will stand up there with you. Nothing would make me happier.”

“Good. You mean a lot to me Steve. And on that special day, I want you there.”

“But will Connie want me up there on your big day?” Bucky just laughed.

“It doesn’t really matter now, does it? I’m not gonna bitch about who she picks. Why should she do the same?”

“Buck…” Steve couldn’t help but feel like that’s not how it should be. Sure he had listened to Natasha complain about all the stupid ideas Clint had come up with about their wedding. But they always compromised. Because they loved each other. It didn’t seem that way with Bucky and Connie. “Bucky, can you answer me something.”

“What is that?”

“Do you even want to get married?” Bucky’s face fell and Steve knew immediately he had asked the wrong thing.

Shit.

“What the hell Steve? Of course I want to get married! I wouldn’t have proposed to Connie if I didn’t.” Steve wanted to sigh because he knew that was a lie.

Bucky pushed the proposal because he was mad at Steve. Bucky may not want to admit it, and probably never will, but Steve knew it, deep down he knew the truth. Bucky didn’t want to get married. Hearing how he was talking about it told Steve the real answer. 

“Of course, it’s just, you don’t seem as enthused about it, but I was wrong. I didn’t mean to question your actions.” Bucky let out a small sigh.

“No. I’m not as eager to planning the wedding and everything but, well, I do like Connie.” Steve didn’t miss that Bucky said like and not love. 

“Of course. I would be honored to stand up with you on your big day, whenever you decide to get married.” Bucky smiled as Darcy brought their orders over to them.

“Everything look okay boys?”

“Yep, as always.” Steve replied as Darcy walked off to help another table.

“So, how are things with you and Chase? Do you still have your little arrangement?”

“Yeah.” Steve replied through a mouth of food, causing Bucky to let out a little laugh. “I actually hung out with him a little bit this morning. Well, apparently we had planned something but I forgot.”

“Really? That doesn’t seem like you. You have a pretty graphic memory from what I’ve heard.”

“Well, I stayed up late last night, trying to finish an illustration and I didn’t really get much sleep last night. So it didn’t really cross my mind until he was standing on my doorstep. And them Sam came back with Riley and just, this morning was a mess.”

“Riley?”

“Oh yeah, Sam and Riley go way back. They are best friends and were pretty much inseparable. Riley lives out of state though, so they don’t really get to hang out except for random times, like this week. He doesn’t really talk about their past though, I think there might be something there but what the hell do I know, right?” Steve said through a laugh.

“Steve…”

“But, to answer your question. Chase and I are fine. We’re actually more just friends now. We haven’t actually had sex in a long time. We mostly just hang out.”

“And you like that?” Steve just shrugged.

“It’s something. Although he told me that he likes someone else. Which is perfectly fine, we’re not monogamous or anything like that. I want him to move on and be happy.” Bucky didn’t say anything for a bit.

“You deserve to be happy too, Steve.” Steve just shrugged. His happiness wasn’t really that important at the moment. Seeing his friends and the people he cared about happy, that would make him happy.

Eventually he would find that someone, but right now, all he wanted was Bucky. But Bucky was never going to be with him.

“So, how are things going at the clinic?” Steve asked, changing the subject. Bucky looked like he didn’t agree with subject change, but he would just have to deal with it. “Are you building up your clientele?”

“Yeah. I have plenty of regular patients now. I have even considered adding a second physician at the clinic. Just to help with the load I have.”

“That sounds cool. Do you have anyone in mind?”

“Eh, not really. I need to check with some of my friends back at the hospital and see who they would recommend.” 

“You know, I have been wondering, you said you hired a few receptionists, but all I ever see there is Wade.” Bucky laughed.

“Yeah, Wade is all I have now. Bonnie left not too far into the opening for another job or something like that. I don’t really care and Wade is more than happy for all the hours, but still. I wanted more help and Wade can only do so much.”

“Yeah, it can be frustrating.”

“You’re working on more illustrations though, right?” Steve smiled.

“Yeah, this story is about a dog and his owner. It’s a lot of fun, but kind of frustrating at the same time. A little more challenging than I had anticipated. But it’s getting there.”

“Having Peter come do a meet and greet at the clinic would be a great idea. But I don’t want to force you if you would rather not. You seemed a little bit hesitant at the idea and I don’t want this to be forced.”

“Wade just wants to meet Peter. I’m afraid of what exactly that would entail.” Bucky just laughed. It was nice to hear Bucky laugh again. It was even better that Steve was the one who was making him laugh.

He knew their friendship wasn’t at the best of places. It was awkward sometimes and other times it was like nothing happened. But it was times like this that made Steve very happy that Bucky was still a part of his life.

“He may be a bit crude and over the top, but he knows not to overdo it. At least I hope. He’s great with the kids at work, so I think he will be just fine, if Peter decides to come.”

“I will send Peter an email and see how his schedule is. I’m sure he would be up for it. He loves that sort of thing.”

“Great!” Bucky said with a smile, before finally digging into his food. Steve’ food ended up being on the cold side, but he found that he didn’t particularly care, especially with Bucky smiling at him like that.

* * *

Steve made his way out of Marty’s and the first thing he saw was snow. 

“Oh shit, I didn’t know it was supposed to snow.” Bucky said, stepping out next to him. Steve loved the snow. He hated when it was cold, but snow. When it snowed, everything was just so peaceful and beautiful.

It was quite the sight.

“I love snow.” Bucky looked over at him and smiled.

“Want to go play in the snow a bit, Stevie? Let your inner child out?” Steve just laughed, stuffing his hands in his pockets as he walked towards Bucky’s truck.

“Nah, I don’t want to risk getting sick.”

“Oh come on Steve, it will be fun.” Steve continued walking on, only to realize Bucky wasn’t walking with him.

“Buck come on, it’s freez…” He turned around and felt a sudden burst of cold land right in the middle of his face. Bucky was laughing as Steve wiped the leftover snow from his face.

“You son of a bitch!” Steve shouted as Bucky darted passed him. Steve reached down, grabbing a handful of snow and ran after him. Bucky was running towards his truck, trying to get it unlocked.

Bucky didn’t have automated locks, so him trying to get the key in the lock gave Steve the perfect opportunity for his assault.

Steve ran up behind him, wrapping his arm around his chest as he squished the snowball right on Bucky’s head.

“Oh shit that’s cold!”

“Payback’s a bitch, right?” Steve said, taking a few steps back. Bucky shook all the snow from his hair as he turned around to face Steve.

“You’re such an ass.” Steve started laughing. “People think you’re such an innocent angel but you are far from it.” That made Steve laugh even harder. Everyone always thought Steve was so innocent. It helped a lot growing up. Steve never got blamed for anything. 

Steve choked out one final laughed before looking back up at Bucky. He was pulling little pieces of snow out of his hair and it was the cutest thing Steve had ever seen. Bucky looked up at him, giving him his best pout.

“My hair is a mess now, thanks to you.”

“Sorry, couldn’t resist.” Steve put on the smuggest smile he could think of before walking to the other side of the truck.

“I should make you walk home for that little stunt.”

“Oh come on Bucky. You wouldn’t want poor little me to walk home. Who knows what trouble I could get into to?” Bucky snorted, finally able to unlock the truck.

“Yeah, wouldn’t want that. I would hate to find you lying in an alley somewhere because you decided to pick a fight with some stranger who actually happened to be bigger than you.” Steve hopped in the truck.

“You make it sound like I do that often.” Bucky just looked over at him, raising an eyebrow as he started the truck. “Come on, you know it’s been ages since I last got into a fight.”

“Whatever you say Steve.” Steve just smiled. 

He could get used to this.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know what you guys think!
> 
> Also, I am compiling a little playlist together for this story, it will include the songs I have included in this story as well as some other songs that I feel fit with the story. I am open for some other suggestions if you guys have any ideas or songs that make you think of these two losers. ;)


	29. (200.)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh my goodness! Another chapter, say what? 
> 
> This chapter feels like a mess to be, but eh, whatever. It is what it is. Next chapter should be better. ;)
> 
> Anyways, as always, thanks for reading and just everything, you guys are awesome!

Steve should have known he would get sick. It was just his luck that he would get sick right when he actually needed to be in excellent health. That was just his life.

He sat bundled up on the couch now, holding a mug of hot tea while he stared out at the snow falling down outside his window. It wasn’t a full on blizzard outside, but it was making an impact. 

Sam wasn’t even here to keep him company in his misery. He was out actually having a good time with Riley. Steve had received a few texts from Sam about the horrible drivers, but other than that, nothing.

Today Steve and Chase were supposed to go to the film festival downtown, but there was no way he would be able to handle that today. It was bad enough that it was snowing, but adding in that he was sick, there was no way he would be able to take it. He reached out from his cocoon of blankets and picked up his phone.

Chase picked up on the first ring.

“Steve I am just on my way out the door to pick you up.”

“Yeah, about that.” Steve let out a loud cough. “I can’t today Chase. I’m sorry.”

“Steve, you sound like shit.”

“Yeah, I just…I feel like shit. But you should still go. You can take Richard.” Steve heard the door shut. Probably not the best idea, given how Chase is around Steve when it comes to Richard, and well, it was a bit of low blow, but he still wanted Chase to have a good time.

“Steve, I’m not gonna take another man with me on a gift you gave me. That’s just ridiculous.”

“I honestly don’t mind. I don’t want it to go to waste.”

“Steve, no. Look, we will just have to plan something else. I know someone who wanted to go. I will just give them the tickets.”

“Chase…”

“End of discussion. Do you want me to come over? We can just chill today if you want.”

“I just want to sleep. Besides I don’t want to risk getting you sick.”

“Are you sure? I’ve been told that I have a pretty good immune system.”

“I think Peggy might stop by a little bit later. She always knows when to stop by when I’m sick. I wouldn’t put it past Sam to have contacted her about this.”

“Okay. But if you need anything, just give me a call.”

“Will do, thanks Chase. I’m sorry for ruining your gift. I was really looking forward to this.”

“It’s alright Steve. Life happens. Just feel better, okay?” Steve mumbled out a yes before he hung up the phone, cuddling back into his little cocoon. He was so tired, he just wanted to sleep. He rolled over and closed his eyes and everything else was forgotten.

* * *

Steve had the feeling that something was touching him. Something wet. He scrunched up his eyes, not very sure as to what could possibly be touching his forehead.

“Good, you’re awake.” That voice Steve knew all too well. He opened one of eyes to see Peggy looking down at him. Her frown fades into a smirk when he looked up at her.

“’ello Peg.” Steve mumbled out, reaching up to see what was actually touching his face. Peggy laughed.

“It’s a rag Steve, you can calm down.” She sat down on top of the coffee table, crossing her arms. “What did you do this time?”

“Nothing. I was actually enjoying myself, but I got sick.”

“Ah, and you were enjoying yourself with who?”

“Bucky.” Steve mumbled, curling himself back into a ball. He didn’t want an interrogation right now. His head felt like it was going to explode.

“I see.” She licked her lips and crossed her legs and yeah, she meant business. “Steve, you know your immune system isn’t that well. Your body makes you think you are fine but you’re not. You always think it will be nothing, but it could end up being something that could kill you. You remember that one time you stayed out in the rain? You were in the hospital for a week!”

Steve wasn’t in the hospital for week. It was more like three days. Big difference.

“It’s just a simple cold.” Peggy just sighed, smacking Steve on the back of the head as she headed back to the kitchen. “I didn’t buy out the pharmacy this time. But you need to take this.” She handed him some cough medicine and sat back down in front of him. Steve took some of the cough syrup, making a face as he handed it back to Peggy. She set it on the table before removing the wash rag, feeling his head. She didn’t seem very please as she smacked it back down on his head. “I have news for you.”

“Do you, now?”

“Guess what Bucky asked me to do the other day?” 

“What?” Steve just laughed, looking down at his hands. He didn’t know he was making this sound funny. Must be the fever.

“He asked me to stand up with him at his wedding.” Peggy’s face dropped. It was almost comical. He almost laughed. Maybe he did. He honestly didn’t even know anymore.

“And what did you say?”

“I said I would.” Her face fell even more.

“Are you fucking serious?” Peggy said, standing up. Steve almost thought she was going to hit him again, but she refrained. Steve watched as she took a deep breath, trying to calm herself down. “Steve…”

“What did you want me to say? No?”

“Yes Steve! Yes! You should have refused. Bucky has no right to ask that of you! He knows how you feel about him yet he goes and asks you to do that! What a bastard!”

“Peggy, that’s not very nice.”

“Steve, how are you not affected by any of this?”

“I couldn’t just say no. I am trying my hardest…” Steve stopped talking, by having a small cough attack. When he felt like he wasn’t dying anymore, he looked back up at Peggy. “I want our friendship to go back to the way it was, before everything happened. Back then, I would have said yes to stand up with him in a heartbeat. Why should now be any different?”

“Because Steve, it is different. Things have happened. You could still go to the wedding, but to stand up with him, watching him marry someone else. Steve, you can’t do that to yourself.”

“I already agreed. I can’t back out now.”

“You sure as hell can.” She walked off towards the kitchen, grabbing her purse.

“Where are you going?” He looked over and felt the wash rag fall off his head.

“I am going to fix this.”

“Peggy no…” Peggy stomped back over, picked up the rag and slapping it back on Steve’s face.

“You just sit your ass on that couch and get better.” Steve didn’t have time to object, she was already out the door before he could get himself untangled from the blankets.

* * *

Steve woke up a few hours later, feeling a little bit better, but he felt a little bit more nauseous than he had before he fell asleep. 

That wasn’t good.

He pulled himself off the couch, making sure he was able to walk. He felt a tad bit dizzy, but he made it to his hoard of DVDs and pulled out You Were Never Lovelier. He could do with some Fred and Rita.

They would make him feel better.

He popped the DVD in and crashed back on the couch.

Fred had just lost his last penny on the races when there was a knock on the door. Steve looked over at the door, he could get up and answer it, but right now, he didn’t feel like moving. Wasn’t really sure if he could move.

“It’s open!” Steve shouted. Not exactly the best move. But whatever. He looked over at the door and found Bucky stepping inside. Well, this was interesting. “What brings you here Buck?” 

Bucky just smiled, holding up and little canister.

“I heard you were sick and brought you some soup, as an apology for being the reason you are sick.” Steve laughed.

“I appreciate it. But it’s not your fault. I was bound to get sick again anyways.”

“Regardless, you get some soup out of it, so no complaining.” Steve just huddled in his cocoon of blankets as Bucky heated up the soup.

Steve just laid back and watched the movie as Bucky brought over a bowl. He couldn’t help but think of the conversation he and Peggy had just had about Bucky.  
Peggy had said she would handle it. But Bucky didn’t look apologetic about anything. It was weird. Usually you showed some sign of having experienced the wrath of Peggy Carter.

“Who told you I was sick?”

“Huh?”

“Who told you I was sick?”

“Oh, Peggy sent me this weird text, saying I should visit you since I was the one that made you sick or something. I don’t know. So I came over.” Steve gave him a small smile before taking a sip of the soup.

It was just as good as it had been before.

It made Steve feel a bit better. Amazing how that works. Psychology is an interesting thing.

“What are you watching?”

“You Were Never Lovelier. Can’t get better than Fred Astaire and Rita Hayworth.” Bucky smiled.

“Rita Hayworth.” Bucky let out a small sigh. “She sure is something, isn’t she?” 

“Beautiful.” Steve set the bowl down on the table. Bucky was acting like nothing was wrong. It was weird. 

But then it wasn’t. 

This was exactly what Steve had been doing. He had been working so hard on trying to just have Bucky in his life that he wasn’t even really thinking about himself.

He would do anything for Bucky. Anything he said. That was scary, if Steve really thought about it. Bucky could ask him to hide a body and Steve wouldn’t even think twice. He would probably take the blame if the time came for that.

That was a very terrifying thought.

Peggy was saying he should stand up for himself. Should he tell Bucky that he can’t be in his wedding, that his feelings are still too strong for him to do that? That it would hurt him more?

He should.

But could he do that? Could he really? 

Peggy was right, he should stand up for himself. For his own feelings.

Steve had a horrible feeling that by doing that, he would mess up what he had going with Bucky all over again. He just couldn’t do it. He couldn’t risk losing Bucky all over again. 

“So…”Bucky started but the front door swung open. Steve and Bucky looked over and found Natasha standing there. 

And she didn’t look pleased.

Somehow, even with a blossoming baby bump, she looked like she could still kick both of their asses, with her hands tied. It was a very scary thought.

“Nat?” Steve asked, standing up. Steve didn’t know what happened next, but he must have stood up too fast because he was suddenly very light headed. “Oh god.” Steve whispered, covering his mouth with his hand before running as quickly as he could to the bathroom.

His nausea was back in full force.

Steve barely made it to the toilet before emptying the contents of his stomach into the toilet. So much for Bucky’s soup making him feel better.

“Ugh…” Steve mumbled, flushing the toilet as he rested his head against the now closed seat.

“Feel better?” Steve looked over. Clint was leaning against the door way.

“No.” Steve leaned back and he felt so warm. Usually throwing up made him feel better, but somehow he just felt worse. Clint just smiled. 

“Well, you might just want to stay in here for a bit.”

“Why?” Steve mumbled out, looking at the floor. Looking up at the light hurt his eyes to much. When had it gotten so bright in here? Was it always this bright? 

“You jackass!” Steve heard Natasha shout and what sounded like a loud slap.

“What the hell Nat?” Bucky shouted back.

“You’re lucky I’m pregnant, otherwise it would have been a whole hell of a lot worse.” Steve reached out and gripped the toilet, trying to pull himself up. He needed to go out there, stop the onslaught that was about to happen.

“What did I do this time? Honestly, I’ve been good.” Natasha just laughed.

“You might want to stay down buddy.” Clint whispered, leaning down next to Steve, helping him back to the ground.

“What do you mean, I’ve been good?” Natasha let out a little laugh. “I just found out that you asked Steve to be your best man?”

“Yeah, what of it?”

“You are such a moron! How can you do that! You know how Steve feels about you!” Steve felt like he was going to be sick again.

Why were they having that conversation out in his living room? Couldn’t Natasha have done this somewhere else? Like at her house?

“What?” Bucky replied, his voice sounded more distant. Steve calmed down his nerves and pulled himself up. Clint didn’t really say anything as Steve gripped the towel rack.

“You came all the way here so Natasha could yell at Bucky?” Steve whispered. Clint just shrugged.

“Well, you can’t really argue with her, can you?” Steve gave him a weak smile in return. There was no truer statement.

“How are things with the baby? Everything going alright?”

“Yep! As good as can be. Baby is healthy, as is her amazing momma.” Steve nodded, looking at himself in the mirror.

Whoa. He looked like shit.

He was thankful everything was going great with Natasha. He wouldn’t have expected anything different. Natasha was a strong woman. 

“Steve.” Steve looked over and found Natasha at the door. “Clint, go talk with Bucky for me, will you?” Clint just nodded and walked off. Natasha stepped inside the bathroom, closing the door behind her. “You look like shit.”

“I feel like shit.” Steve took a deep breath, straightening up. “What do you want?”

“I just wanted to see how you were doing?”

“Did you really need to confront Bucky here?”

“It had to be done Steve.”

“Not here.”

“Why did you accept his offer? You’re better than that.” She reached out and grabbed his hand, pulling him closer to her. “I know you like him but still, you deserve better.” Steve just smiled, leaning back against the wall.

“I don’t just like him, Nat. I’m pretty sure I’m in love with him.” Natasha didn’t say anything, just looked at him with a sad smile.

“You’re so stubborn, you know that?”

“I get told that all the time.” Steve gave her his best smile, but it slowly faded when he felt sick again. 

“You need to rest. Get some sleep or something.”

“I know.” Natasha walked up to him then, placing a hand on his forehead.

“You’re hot. You really need to get that fever out of your system.”

“Will do.”

“You know.” Natasha said, turning towards the door, “I know this girl, she is just what you need.”

“Natasha…”

“You seem to be having issues with guys lately, why not give a girl a chance?” Steve just laughed, reaching pass her to open the door.

“We’ll see.”

“I’ll take that as it is.” Steve just walked on through the doorway. He stopped when he saw Bucky sitting on the couch.  
He looked upset. His head was in his hands and Clint was sitting next to him. He was leaning in, whispering something to Bucky. Bucky looked like a mess and Steve suddenly felt unwanted in his own home.

“Clint, let’s go.” Natasha made her way pass Steve and towards the door. “I will be calling to check in on you Steve.” Natasha warned before walking outside. Clint gave him and Bucky a little wave before following after her.

Which left Steve and Bucky alone again.

“Are you alright?” Steve whispered, finally making his way back towards the couch and where Bucky was.

“Yeah.” Bucky’s voice was hoarse. He didn’t know if it was from shouting at Natasha or from crying. Bucky looked up at him and gave him a weak smile. Judging from his face, Steve was going to go with option two. “I’m really sorry Steve.”

“Buck…”

“No. Just, let me apologize here. I was a huge dick to you, and I didn’t even fuckin’ realize it. Like, I’m the worst!”

“You’re not the worst.” Steve sat down next to him; the tension in the air was suddenly gone.

“How do you not hate me?” Steve laughed at that.

“I think you know the reason why.” Bucky didn’t say anything, just nodded. There was a comfortable silence between them. “Buck…”

“Steve. I should have thought of your feelings before asking you to stand up with me. I just…before, well, before everything happened, you were my best friend. I mean, who else would I want up there with me?” Steve couldn’t find it in him to speak. “I didn’t even think…”

“Bucky…”

“Do you want to stand up with me?” Bucky looked over at Steve and god, Steve just wanted to say yes. The look on his face, how could Steve deny him anything?  
But he could. He had to. 

He had to think about what Peggy and even Natasha had said to him. He needed to stand up for himself. He needed to be happy, to do what he wanted.

He would never be able to be with Bucky, why continue hurting himself even more for something he was never going to have.

“I…I don’t think I can Buck.” Steve whispered, he wasn’t even sure if Bucky had even heard him. “Considering everything that has happened, I don’t think I can. I will gladly be at your big day, but I can’t stand up there with you.” Bucky nodded, and did something Steve never would have suspected.

He grabbed Steve’s hand.

Steve felt like he was going to cry. He would blame that on the fever that was currently running rampant in his brain. But Bucky doing something so simple as holding his hand…Steve felt like he was going to cry.

“I understand.” Steve looked over at him then, and Bucky was actually smiling at him. “You mean a lot to me Steve. I wanted things to be back to the way they were before,” Bucky made some random motion with his hands, hoping that Steve understood what he meant. “I just didn’t think that things have actually changed.”

“They haven’t really though.” Steve replied, his voice cracking a bit.

“No. But some things are different. I want you there on my big day, I don’t care how, but as long as you are there, then it’s fine.” Bucky gave Steve’s hand another squeeze before pulling away, standing up in the process.

“You leaving?”

“You need to rest, Steve. I can feel the heat radiating off your body from here. You need to get rid of that fever!” Steve smiled, leaning back into the couch.

“I’ll try. No promises though. My body never cooperates with me.” Bucky just laughed, leaning forward and running his fingers through Steve’s hair, ruffling it up. Steve’s body felt like it was on fire. Bucky was being very touchy feely today. 

Or maybe Steve was overanalyzing things. It could just be his fever. Maybe none of this was actually happening.

“I’ll kick your ass if you don’t get better.” Steve had to fight the urge to reach out and grab Bucky’s hand again. Anything for more contact.

“By the way.” Steve made an attempt to stand up, but the look Bucky threw his way made him decide that wasn’t the best idea so he plopped himself back down. “I talked with Peter.” Meaning he sent Peter and very long and detailed email.

“Did you?”

“Yeah, he’s down for a meet and greet. Just has to check his schedule and see what’s open for him.”

“Great! I’ll let Wade know. Lord knows he won’t shut up about it. Thinks he’s some sort of super genius or something.” Steve laughed at that, which turned into a slight wheeze. 

“I can imagine.” Steve cracked out, when he got his breathing back under control. “I warned Peter about Wade though.”

“Oh really?”

“Yeah, Peter is actually quite interested in meeting Wade though. I think the word he used was intrigued. Wade intrigued him. I don’t really know what that means or how it will all go.”

“Maybe they will mesh very well. You never know. Friendship is a weird thing.” Steve just nodded. He knew all about that first hand.

“Yes it is.”

“Well, get some sleep Stevie. And feel better.”

“Thanks Buck. For the soup and everything. Thank you.”

“No problem buddy.” Bucky gave him one last smile before leaving the apartment.

Once Bucky had left, Steve felt like a boulder had been lifted off his chest. He had been able to say no to Bucky, and Bucky didn’t hate him. It was amazing. 

Maybe their friendship would be able to last. Steve just needed to do more things for himself. If he put himself first, feelings and all, he could possible get on the way to being happy again.

Things were going to get better, he just knew it.

He just had to get rid of this cold first.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter: Dinner Party with Connie and Bucky!
> 
> Let me know what you guys think! :)


	30. (220.)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Whoa, look, another chapter!
> 
> And I have to say, I really liked this chapter! ;)
> 
> As always, thanks to everyone for reading, commenting, subscribing and leaving kudos! You are all amazing and thanks for everything!

“So, we’re calling it quits for good this time?” Chase said, staring at Steve from across the counter. Steve just gripped the countertop as hard as he could. He knew Chase wouldn’t exactly be upset with his decision, but well, this was still hard for him.

He was a tad bit late on actually getting around to doing this (It wasn’t his fault. Things happened).

Chase had been busy with work, as had Steve. Once Steve got over his cold, he went straight to working on his illustrations, popping out three new pages. It was quite the record in that little of time.

“Yeah.” Steve whispered, finally looking up at Chase. He was surprised to see that Chase was actually smiling.

“About damn time.”

“What?”

“I’ve been meaning to talk to you about our little arrangement for a while now. If Stark hadn’t been keeping me so damn busy, I would have brought it up before.”

“Really?”

“Yeah. I mean, come on Steve, this little arrangement we had, we weren’t really doing anything. Just hanging out, but like, we can still do that! Don’t get me wrong, I love having you as a friend and everything, but you know, somehow, I still felt obligated to you, to not move on.” Steve smiled.

“Same. I just, I want you to be happy Chase. I know how much you really like Richard. You should go for it.”

“I plan to. I mean, I have already been on a couple dates with the man.” Steve’s eyes widened.

“What? And you didn’t tell me?” Chase laughed.

“Again, obligation. When I was with you, I never wanted to bring him up. Seems kind of rude.”

“You know I don’t care. I have been pushing you to do that for a while now. It wouldn’t have bothered me.”

“I know. It seems you have been too. Natasha told me about um, Emma? Is that her name?” Steve may have actually blushed as he looked down towards the floor.

“Yeah, her name is Emma.”

“She works at Stark Industries too, doesn’t she? Her name doesn’t ring a bell for me, but like, there are hundreds of people that work there that I don’t know.” Steve laughed, grinning up at Chase.

“Yeah, she’s in Human Resources, or something like that. We’ve been out a few times, just to the movies and lunch dates, simple things like that. But she’s really nice.”

“Is she? Tell me, what’s she like? What does she look like?”

“She’s beautiful. She has this long wavy brown hair that is just gorgeous and smooth; and her eyes, she has these amazing bluish grey eyes. They are so mesmerizing and…” Steve stopped short when he saw the look on Chase’s face. “What?”

“She sounds an awful lot like someone else.” Steve sighed, looking back down at the floor again. By this time tomorrow, he was going to know how many dots were on the tile if he looked at it any more.

“I know. But I mean… she’s nothing like him.”

“Oh I’m sure. That and the small fact that she is a woman.”

“I mean personality wise. Emma is sweet and she is so different from everyone, even compared to Peggy. She’s nice and well, I’m not so sure what exactly is going to come from all of this, but I like what’s going on right now.”

“That’s all that matters, the rest of us be damned, your happiness means more than what we all have to say.”

“Yeah. I know. Peggy seems to dislike her already.”

“Really?”

“Yeah, she said something about me deserving better than her, she feels like I’m settling.”

“And what about Sam?”

“Sam likes her. He’s only seen pictures of her, but he thinks as long as I am happy, then he’s happy.”

“That sounds fair. And Bucky?”

“Bucky?”

“What’s he think about her?”

“Oh, yeah…”

“He doesn’t know, does he?”

“Nope.”

“Steve…”

“He stills think you and I are together, so no, I haven’t told him yet.”

“Are you going to?”

“Yes. I just haven’t gotten to see him lately. Last time I saw him I was sick.”

“But you’ve talked with him?”

“Yes.”

Almost every damn day. But Steve was not going to tell Chase that. Steve had had plenty of opportunities to tell Bucky about Emma. He had every intention of doing so. But he just, he could never find it in him to tell him. He wanted to, so badly. So Bucky would know that he was in fact, moving on.

He just never could spit it out, even in text form.

“Well, you will tell him when you’re ready. But I am happy for you Steve.” Chase smiled and walked over to him, pulling him into a hug. “I’m glad we were able to get through all this without hating each other.”

“Me too.” Chase pulled away and pressed a quick kiss to Steve’s lips. “And, as much as I would love to stay and hang out, I do have other things to do on this gorgeous Saturday.” Steve smiled, giving him a small wave as he walked out of the apartment.

He let out a deep breath once the door shut.

Well that was one thing done.

* * *

It was right after lunch, when Steve got the phone call.

“Hello?”

“Stevie? It’s Bucky.” Steve smiled, settling into the couch.

“Hey Buck, what’s up?”

“Do you have any plans tonight?”

“Um…none that I know of. Sam and I were just going to hang around the apartment, like always. What’s up?”

“Ah, well, um, Connie is having this little dinner party tonight, inviting some of her friends and their significant others and well, I didn’t want to be outnumbered here, so if you want, um, you and Chase are more than welcome to come.” Steve almost laughed at how awkward Bucky sounded.

“Sure Buck. I would be happy to come.” Steve completely ignored the fact that Bucky had invited Chase as well.

“Really? Great!”

“Is Connie alright with it? I mean, I don’t want to ruin her little party.”

“She’s fine with it. Don’t worry.”

“Okay, what time do you want me there?”

“Um, 5? That sounds good enough for me.”

“Well, see you then!”

“Thanks Steve. See you tonight.” Steve hung up the phone right as Sam walked into the apartment.

“Yo man, I got us a shit load of junk food to snack on tonight. I figured we could do with a Guy Ritchie marathon or something.”

“Yeah, about that.”

“Oh shit, you goin’ out with Emma again?”

“No. Um, actually, Bucky invited me to some dinner party he and Connie are throwing tonight.”

“You taking Emma?”

“Nah, I think I’ll just go stag tonight.” Sam just raised an eyebrow. “She doesn’t need to be thrown into that chaos yet.”

“You’re right. Don’t want to scare her away too fast.” Steve just laughed as he made his way to the kitchen. He dug deep into the bag that Sam had brought and pulled out a bag of candy bars.

“Really?” Sam just shrugged.

“Hey man, I was hungry when I went all right.”

“Sam, you bought like ten bags.”

“You’re a fucking eating machine Steve! You could eat five all by yourself.” Steve rolled his eyes. He could not. Maybe three, but like c’mon, five was pushing it. “So, what time are you heading out?”

“I dunno, Bucky said to be there around 5. So I have until then.”

“Wanna play some Mario Kart?” Steve laughed, grabbing a bag and taking it over to the couch.

“Oh your ass is on!”

* * *

Steve walked up to Bucky’s apartment, stopping before knocking on the door. It had been a while since he had been to Bucky’s apartment. It was weird, being here all over again. And for a dinner party with him and Connie. Funny that that was what brought him back.

Maybe he should have lied and said he had plans.

Whatever.

Steve could do this. He was strong enough for this. He was entering a new time in his life. A new adventure. He could do this.

He took a deep breath and straightened out his shirt. He needed to look good.

He knocked on the door and took a step back. He wasn’t sure who was going to answer, but it would probably be best if he wasn’t right in their face right when they answered.

It took a minute, but the door opened, and there was Bucky, half dressed, and that was putting it nicely. He was shirtless, one hand holding onto his undershirt while the other held a firm grip on his pants. Steve tried not downwards too long.  Bucky smiled when he saw Steve before he pulled on his undershirt ( very awkwardly, Steve might add).

“Hey Stevie!” He then looked around. “Is Chase coming later or what?”

“Oh, no. Chase isn’t coming.”

“Oh. Why not?” Bucky let Steve in, closing the door behind him.

“Oh, well, because we aren’t exactly dating anymore.”

“Well, I know that, but you two are still together.”

“No anymore.” Bucky paused, giving Steve a look.

“What?” Bucky’s face had completely fallen. It was almost funny.

“Officially ended things this morning, although, if I’m telling the truth, things had been done between Chase and I for a while now. We both knew it. Just both of us had to get out acts together and come out and say it.”

“Oh. Well, um, cool.” Bucky replied, making his way pass the kitchen and toward the back of the apartment.

Steve looked around and realized that Connie was nowhere in sight. As were any other guests. It was just him and Bucky in the apartment. The table was set for about ten people.

“Where is everyone?” Steve could smell food cooking, but he was starting to get a little freaked out. It just seemed rather odd. Everything was set up for a party, but no one was here.

“Oh, Connie went to go pick up rolls or something. I honestly don’t remember. Wasn’t really paying that much attention. I just know I have to take the ham out at like, 5:15 or something. As for the other guests, Natasha and Clint might come, I’m still not sure. You never know with Natasha. She has her moods. Bonnie and her girlfriend are getting here around 5:30 and I think they are bringing Stefan and Stella. If there is anyone else coming, who knows when they will show up?”

“Bonnie and her girlfriend?” Steve asked. He remembered when Bucky had wanted to set Steve up with Bonnie. Not that the thought lasted long, but still.

“Yeah…” Bucky replied with a laugh. “I have met her girlfriend though. Her name is Angela. She’s pretty amazing. Don’t know what she sees in Bonnie but well, I’m not going to questions it.” Steve just nodded, making his way back to the back of the apartment.

It made him feel a little bit better, knowing that other people were going to be there, although now Steve would be the only single person there. As long a Natasha and Clint showed up, it shouldn’t be too awkward or weird.

Hopefully.

Steve walked into the room and was met by the lovely voice that was Elvis Presley. Steve smiled as he walked inside. Bucky was bobbing his head along to the music as he pulled his hair up.

“Your hair is getting long again.” Steve noted, taking a seat on the bed.

“Yeah. Connie hates it. She also wanted me to shave today but I ran out of time.” As if to emphasize it, he ran his hands over the small bit of stubble he had growing on his chin. “She will just have to deal with it.”

“Well, I mean it is your body. You really get the final say in anything.”

“Exactly! Jesus, I don’t criticize her on how she should wear her hair and whatnot. It’s ridiculous.”

“I would take note though, that on the wedding, you might want to look how she wants you to, just, you know, to save problems.” Bucky laughed.

“Well yeah, that is different. I will look very presentable then. But for a damn dinner party, I can look however the hell I want.” Bucky walked over to his closet, pulling out random shirts.

“You should go with green.” Steve mentioned, casually glancing around the room. He’s never seen their bedroom before. Never really wanted to. It almost seemed too private.

From where he was sitting, he could tell he was looking at Connie’s side. Her dresser was filled with pictures of her and her friends and family. And there was the picture of Bucky Steve had given her.

Steve loved that picture. He had a small copy of his in his studio (well hidden though).

“Connie really likes that picture.” Steve looked over and found Bucky standing next to him, rolling up sleeves. He looked amazing, like something out of a GQ magazine or something (Then again, Steve thought he always looked like that). Steve had to check and make sure he wasn’t drooling.

“It’s a good picture, and I’m not just saying that because I took it.” Bucky just smiled.

“It was a good day.” Steve didn’t respond to Bucky’s statement, too lost in his own thoughts about that beautiful afternoon. It had been a really good day, the day after, not so much, but that day, it was probably one of the best days of Steve’ life.

He thought about it all the time. Sadly, he still thought about the next day a lot as well. What he could have done differently, what would have happened if he hadn’t kissed Bucky? Would their friendship be like it was now? Would it be different?

What if the kiss hadn’t ended the way it did? What if it went further?

Steve tried not to think about that too much though. It didn’t do well to dwell on what might have been.

Steve was about to say something when Bucky let out a small scream.

“What?”

“Oh my god, I forgot this song was on this.” Steve looked over as Bucky ran to his little stereo, turning the music up.

Oh, Bucky was actually playing a CD. Who actually listened to CDs anymore?

Steve took note of the familiar song that was beginning to play. Suspicious Minds. Steve was about to say something to Bucky about listening to actual CD’s when Bucky turned around and started singing.

“We’re caught in a trap. I can’t walk out. Because I love you too much baby!” Steve just laughed as Bucky did his best to impersonate Elvis Presley. “Why can’t you see? What you’re doing to me. When you don’t believe a word I say.” Bucky then started moving over to Steve.

“No.” Steve said, moving over a bit on the bed. He knew what was coming and he wanted no part of that.

“Come on Steve!” Bucky shouted, getting his little dance groove back together. “We can’t go on together, with suspicious minds. Suspicious minds!” Steve laughed at how Bucky tried to get his voice to go as high as it could go. Bucky then made his way back over to Steve, grabbing both of his hands. “I can’t do this alone Steve, come on.” He then yanked Steve up off the bed, moving them towards the middle of the room.

And he didn’t let go of Steve’s hands.

“So if an old friend I know, stops to say hello. Would I see suspicion in your eyes?” Bucky sang, smiling up at Steve. “Next verse is on you Stevie. I know you know the lyrics so don’t even try that excuse.” Steve just laughed, moving along to the music as best as he could.

“Here we go again.” Steve sang along, “Asking where I’ve been, you can’t see these tears are real, and I’m crying.”

“Yes I’m crying!” Bucky shouted, making Steve actually snort. Not his best moment, but well, it made Bucky laugh.

Laugh too much that they ended up missing the rest of song. Steve just smiled as Bucky rested his head against Steve’s chest. Steve was too busy trying to get his breathing under control to notice just how close they were. He didn’t even realize that they were still holding hands.

It just felt so normal. Natural.

“Oh man,” Bucky pulled back, wiping a tear from his eye. “I don’t think I’ve laughed that hard in ages.”

“Well I’m glad I’m the one that caused it then.”

“I can’t believe you snorted. Like…”

“Hey, I can’t help it!” Steve replied. “My body does what it wants to do.” Bucky just shook his head, letting out a small chuckle, resting his prosthetic hand on Steve’s shoulder.

“You’re really adorable, you know that, Steve Rogers?” Steve felt his heart stop beating for a few seconds. Bucky was giving him that look. He felt like he was in the hotel room all over again. Bucky’s other hand squeezed Steve’s hand.

Steve felt like he couldn’t breathe. In fact, he was positive that he wasn’t even breathing at this moment. He didn’t even want to move.

Bucky took a step in, bringing him chest to chest with Steve.

“Buck…” Steve whispered. He wasn’t sure if he was loud enough for Bucky to hear him, he wasn’t even sure if the words actually left his mouth at all.

Bucky was going to kiss him. He could feel it. This was how kisses started. There was no way this was going to end with a hug or anything. It was going to happen.

And Steve was going to let it happen. Nothing felt more right at this time.

This was the moment.

He knew it shouldn’t be. Lord knows there were a million reasons as to why this should not happen. But to hell with all those reasons. Everyone was telling him that he should do what he wanted, to out himself first. To be happy. Well, this was what would make Steve happy.

This was going to happen and Bucky couldn’t blame Steve for this one. There was no way.

Steve leaned forward, resting his forehead against Bucky’s, smiling down at him. Bucky smiled back, licking his lips and leaning up just in inch. Steve could feel Bucky’s breath against his lips.

It was coming. It was now or never.

A cough echoed out across the room.  Steve immediately stepped back, looking towards the doorway. Natasha was standing there, raised eyebrow and all.

Thank god it had been Natasha and not Connie.

“Connie is here, as well as the others. She wants your help with the ham, James.” Steve looked back at Bucky only to find that he wasn’t facing him anymore. Bucky ran a quick hand over his face before nodding off in Natasha’s direction and heading out of the room.

Steve took a deep breath, ready for the onslaught of what was probably going to be a very intense conversation with Natasha. He looked back over at her and smiled. He wouldn’t deny that what had happened, or what was going to happen. He was passed all of that now.

Natasha looked as radiant as always, the dress she wore showing off her baby bump perfectly. She looked adorable, but Steve would never utter that outload. He wasn’t sure how Natasha would take it.

“You’re lucky it was me, Steve, and not Connie. I volunteered to come get you guys.”

“Thank you.” Steve walked up to her. “I appreciate your consideration.”

“What was going on here, Steve?”

“It was nothing.” Steve made a move to get passed her but she blocked him. Well so much for not denying what happened.

“Steve.”

“I don’t know what it was.” That was a lie, but well, Steve was already digging this hole, he might as well lay in it. “It felt like the hotel room all over again. He wanted to kiss me Nat, he was going to, I know it. I would have let him too.”

“I know.” Steve eyes widened. Was there something she wasn’t telling him?

“Natasha…”

“We can’t discuss this right now. We have to go and put on happy faces for Connie.”

“Oh joy.” Natasha just smiled as she grabbed Steve’s arm and pulled him back towards the kitchen.

When Steve and Natasha entered the kitchen, Bucky was busy cutting the ham, chatting with Clint, while Connie was busy talking with Bonnie, Angela, Stella and Stefan.

“Ah, Steve,” Connie said, smiling over at him. Steve didn’t know how to take that. Connie never smiled at him. “So glad you could make it. Where’s Chase?”

“Chase and Steve are no longer together.” Bucky muttered out. Well, Steve wasn’t going to say that, he was just going to lie and say Chase was busy.

But that works too. Steve could feel Natasha’s eyes on him. He hadn’t had time to tell her yet, and he was sure Chase hadn’t either.

“Oh.” Connie replied, looking away. “Well, let’s eat!”

* * *

Dinner was just about as awkward as Steve imagined. Connie basically talked with Bonnie and Angela and Stella and Stefan, while Bucky kept his conversations with Clint, Natasha and Steve.

When everyone was finished eating, Connie made everyone migrate towards the living room. Steve sat on the floor by the couch, next to Clint and Natasha. Connie and the others stayed in the room for maybe five minutes before leaving. Connie stated she had something she wanted to show them. Steve wasn’t really paying much attention to them. He was sure they were all nice people, but he honestly didn’t really care about them.

Bucky was stuck in the kitchen, cleaning everything up. Steve had offered to help, but Bucky just shooed him away. Apparently he liked his solitude when doing the dishes.

“So, how did Chase take to the break up?” Natasha asked, kicking Steve lightly in the back. Steve just turned around, grabbing her foot lighting before shoving it away.

“He was just fine with it actually. We both decided that we weren’t exactly doing anything, so it would be better to go our separate ways. He can now go and try things with Richard.”

“And you with Emma.”

“Who’s Emma?” Bucky asked, walking into the room. He was in the process of wiping his hands on a towel and Steve was suddenly struck by how domestic Bucky looked.  It was such an odd thing to be fascinated about.

“Oh…” Steve started when he found himself again, but Natasha interrupted, as usual.

“Emma is a girl who works at Stark Industries. She and Steve have been on a few dates now, right?” Steve was sure now that he was blushing. This was not how he wanted to tell Bucky about Emma.

“Oh, well, that’s nice.” Bucky whispered, moving to sit down in front of Steve. The look on his face didn’t seem like he thought it was nice. “Do you like her?”

“I don’t hate her.” Steve responded, which earned him another kick from Natasha. “What? She’s nice. She’s pretty and smart.”

“And?” Clint tried.

“And nothing. We’ve only been to the movies and like a few lunch dates. I still don’t really know her. But I’m-I’m gonna give it a shot.”

“Good for you.” Natasha said. Steve glanced over at her and saw that she wasn’t even looking at him. She was looking over at Bucky. Steve looked over and found Bucky gripping the towel like it was some kind of whip. He almost looked sick.

“Buck? You okay?” Steve asked, sitting up on his knees. Bucky looked up, letting the towel loosen up.

“Yeah. Just great.” Bucky gritted out through his teeth. He sure didn’t sound great.

“Are you…”

“James!” That was Connie.

“I’ll be back.” Bucky pulled himself up and walked off to where Connie had gone off to.

“This is just getting too ridiculous.” Clint said, standing up, letting out a small grunt as he stretched his arms. “You want something babe?” He asked, giving Natasha’s knee a squeeze before heading to the kitchen.

“Just water.” She shouted, leaning in closer to Steve. “Are you really going to try with Emma?”

“Yeah, I mean, why not?”

“Have you kissed her yet?”

“Natasha!”

“What? I could have asked if you fucked her yet, but I refrained and asked for kissing.”

“I have kissed her. But no, we haven’t slept together yet.” Steve then turned around, putting his full attention on Natasha. He hadn’t forgotten what Natasha had been about to bring up earlier. “Natasha, is there something about Bucky you’re not telling me?”

“No.” She replied with a laugh, grabbing the water Clint handed her before taking his spot back on the couch. “Why would I be keeping something from you about Bucky?” Steve just sighed, leaning back against the couch. He felt Natasha run her fingers through his hair. He closed his eyes, letting himself relax under her fingers.

“Peggy doesn’t like her.”

“Shocking. Has Peggy ever liked any of your beaus?” Clint let out a small laugh.

“I think she liked Chase.” Steve whispered.

“Chase was perfect for you dude.” Clint answered. “You were just too stuck on Barnes to get it to work and then he found someone else.”

“Yeah.” Steve wouldn’t ever deny that. He knew that he and Chase could have made things work. But Steve was too lost on Bucky that things were never going to work between them.

“It’s alright darling.” Natasha whispered. “Maybe things will work out with Emma.” Steve nodded.

But he didn’t want things to work with Emma. Not really.

He wanted to be back in the bedroom, with Bucky. No interruptions or anything. He wanted to know what would have happened if there had been more time. Would Bucky have kissed him? Would confessions have happened?

He wanted to know. More than anything.

He let out a frustrated sigh, running his hands over his face. He was tired of this. He would be doing great, moving on. And then Bucky goes and does something like this.

It was so frustrating.

Loving Bucky was very draining.

He looked up when he heard the footsteps. Bucky made his way back in and he looked even more exhausted than he had when he left.

“Everything alright James?” Bucky didn’t say anything, just waved a hand in her general direction before plopping down on the loveseat.

“Buck?” Bucky let out a small sigh, taking in a deep breath before turning back towards Steve.

“So, tell me about this Emma.” Steve felt Natasha’s hand on his shoulder. Tonight was going to be a long night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know what you guys think!
> 
> Again, I am putting together a playlist for this story, so let me know if you have any rec's!
> 
> As always, thanks for reading!


	31. (241.)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh my goodness, I am SO sorry for taking so long to update. I seriously have had no time nor motivation which is horrible because I actually had this chapter written out a long time ago.
> 
> It has been a long time coming.
> 
> Anyways, as always, all mistakes are mine. And thank you to everyone who has, read, left comments, kudos, or subscribed to this story. It means so much that you guys are enjoying it as much as I am.
> 
> Enjoy!

_Tap Tap Tap_

Steve blinked awake. What was that? He looked over the side of the bed, trying to determine what could have made that noise. Maybe he had just imagined it or something. Wouldn’t be the first time he had done that, especially being as tired as he was. He was always hearing things here. It usually just ended up being something outside though. Nothing to worry about. He was about to roll back over when-

_Tap Tap Tap_

Dammit. He knew that noise.

It was the front door. Sam was away tonight so that meant Steve had to get it.

Although…

He looked over at his nightstand and saw that it was 2 in the morning. Who in the hell was at his door at 2 in the morning? He could just ignore it. He should just ignore it. Normal people would ignore someone knocking on their door at 2 in the morning, right?

But Steve wasn’t normal people and well, it could be an emergency. He couldn’t ignore it, regardless of how tired he was.

These past couple of weeks has been crazy for him. Steve has been in meetings none stop lately, getting new commissions, meeting with Peter to talk about the book and going over the illustrations.

Peter had finally come up with a date for the meet and greet, so they have been busy planning that as well and going over details with Bucky.

It was a complete mess at the moment, and Steve had no idea how they were going to pull it all off. They had assigned Wade to be in charge of publicity, knowing him, everyone would know about it within days so turnout should be good.

But still, there were so many problems.

_Tap Tap Tap_

Right, someone was at the door.

“Who izzit?” Steve looked over as Emma cuddled in closer to him. Right, Steve had officially taken the next step with Emma. He was still unsure of where they stood though. She was like Chase all over again. She didn’t seem too keen on calling Steve her actual boyfriend. It just seemed like she was having a good time.

It didn’t really matter to Steve anyways. He would take what he could get. Anything to move on from his feelings for Bucky, at least help him. Emma was great, but she seemed to look at their relationship the same way Steve did.

“I’ll go see.” Steve whispered, although he didn’t know why. It’s not like the person at the door could hear him all the way in here. She looked up at him and smiled.

“Don’t be too long.” Emma replied through a yawn. Steve pulled Emma’s hand from around his waist and hopped out of bed. He grabbed his boxers from the floor and pulled them on as he grabbed a t-shirt and made his way to the front door.

He should have just let them think that he wasn’t home. Any sane person would.

But really, who did this?

This emergency better be worth it. Otherwise Steve would not be a happy camper.

Steve pulled his shirt over his head and went to the door. He pulled the door open and well, Steve had a sudden burst of déjà vu because there stood none other than Bucky Barnes, leaning against the side of the door as if it was his only lifeline. He looked up at Steve and smiled.

Well shit.

He had been through this before. He knew this probably wouldn’t end well. It never did.

_Fuck._

Why him? What had he done to deserve this? Just when he thought things were getting better, life had to do this to him.

“Hey buddy.” Bucky started to stumble in but Steve stopped him.

“Emma is here.” He said as he pushed Bucky back outside the apartment. He was not going to deal with a drunk Bucky while Emma was lying naked in his bed.

Yeah, no.

Not gonna happen.

Steve didn’t even want to think about dealing with that, let alone actually deal with it. Bucky had been nice to not bring up Emma again after learning about her existence in Steve’s life at the dinner party. And Steve didn’t bring her up either.

Steve took a step out of the apartment and closed the door behind him. It probably wasn’t good to have a conversation with a drunk man out here, but it was better than Emma hearing whatever Bucky was going to bring up.

“Oh. I didn’t interrupt you guys…” Bucky mumbled out and Steve just ran a hand through his hair as Bucky tried to make some weird gesture.

“No.” Steve wasn’t prepared for this. Any of this. He looked up at Bucky and he looked like an absolute mess. He was dressed in a pair of jeans that looked like they haven’t been washed for a few weeks. His shirt was covered in wrinkles and looked to be in the same condition as his jeans. His hair was a greasy mess, at least, it looked that way. His hair was really growing out. He actually had it down today.

Not that any of that really mattered. Steve should be worried about why Bucky was here, not what he looked like.

Here Bucky was, drunk as ever, and of course he came to Steve. He always came to Steve in times like this. Steve didn’t even want to know what happened this time.

But he was sure Bucky would let him know.

“What’s wrong Buck?” Steve whispered. It was late and he didn’t want to wake anyone up in the apartments around him.

“I missed you.” Bucky whispered, so softly that Steve almost didn’t catch it. Bucky looked up at him and Steve felt like a fucking deer in the headlights.

“Buck…” Bucky took a step closer.

“I have treated you like shit, Steve. Why are you still friends with me?”

“What?” Where was this coming from? “Bucky…”

“I’ve done some awful things to you, yet you are still here, and you look at me like I am something special. Why?”

“You know why Buck…” Steve whispered. They had been over this, countless times. Bucky knew the reason. It’s not like anything had actually changed. Bucky didn’t say anything, just nodded along. “Why are you here?”

“Connie left me.” Steve’s entire world stopped for a few seconds.

“What?” Steve took a step forward and put his hand on Bucky’ shoulder. That was the last thing he expected to hear. He expected anything but that. “Are you okay? What happened?”

“We have been drifting apart for a while. You know that. Everyone in the whole damn world knows that!” Bucky shouted. Steve cringed and really hoped that his neighbors didn’t hear them. But he knew telling Bucky to be quiet would only make him talk louder. “We tried to make it work but it just wasn’t ever going to. Then she got mad because she said I was in love with someone else and just…”

“Buck…”

“Steve.”  Bucky then stepped forward and closed the distance between them, crashing his lips onto Steve’s.

Steve didn’t know what to do at first. He was too shocked to really do anything really. He just stood there, hands at his side, not quite sure what to do with them. It was a very sloppy kiss, or more accurately, a very drunken kiss. Nothing too mind shattering in all honesty. Bucky pulled away, reaching up to cup the sides of Steve’s face with both of his hands, pulling him in closer, if that was even possible. Steve’s brain may have stopped working for a few minutes.

“Bucky…” Steve whispered, he wasn’t even sure if he was loud enough for Bucky to hear. But if Bucky did hear his protest, he wasn’t listening.

“She was right though. Connie. She always had a way with being right. I do love someone else. Always have. I mean, god, it has been so obvious. I mean, jesus…”

“Bucky.” Steve said, stopping Bucky’s rant and bringing Bucky’s attention back to him. Steve was trying really hard to control his breathing and not freak out. “I think what you need to do is get some sleep.”

“I don’t need to sleep Steve. I need you. I want you.” Bucky whispered, pulling Steve in closer. Shit. “I love you, Steve. I love you so fuckin’ much.” Bucky whispered, pulling Steve in for another kiss.

Steve was only human, and with a confession like that, Steve could give in just this once. Steve wrapped his arms around Bucky’s waist and pulled him in, deepening the kiss. He felt Bucky smile against his lips and Steve lost it. He pulled away for just a second to push Bucky back against the wall. Bucky’s grin got even bigger.

“Shit Steve. I always wanted you to do that. Knew you’d be like this.” Steve felt predatory as he moved in on Bucky, pulling him back in for another breathtaking kiss.

This was perfect.

It wasn’t ideally how Steve wanted this to happen (and he would never admit to anyone else, but he had fantasized about all the different possibilities that this could have happened), but hey, he would take what he could get.

Bucky’s hands were everywhere, in his hair, on his chest, gripping his ass. It seems that he couldn’t make up his mind as well. Steve wanted to touch everything. He wanted to see what made Bucky feel good. That’s all he really wanted.

His brain may have short circuited when Bucky’s hand cupped him through his boxers. _Fuck._ He let out a small groan, bucking into Bucky’s hand. He was running on pure instinct here. This was everything he ever wanted.

He was kissing Bucky Barnes! And Bucky Barnes was kissing him!

Wait.

_He was kissing Bucky._

It was like a bucket of cold water had washed over him. Reality came crashing back to him at full force. What in the hell was he doing?

Emma was inside.

And here he was, kissing someone else.

“Bucky.” Steve whispered, pulling away. Bucky let out a small whine as he tried to pull Steve in back to him. “Buck.” Steve said more forcefully, pushing him away.

“What?” Bucky replied, and he was actually pouting.

“You need to sleep this off. You’re drunk and you’re not thinking straight. Let’s go inside and you can sleep off the hangover you’re sure to have. We’ll talk in the morning, when you’re sober.” Bucky looked like he didn’t want any of that, in fact, he looked a little upset. But Steve grabbed his hand and pulled him back inside. “C’mon.”

Bucky walked like he was heading towards his execution. But Steve willed on. He stopped at the couch and pushed Bucky to sit on it. Bucky looked up at him, still pouting.

“Lay down Buck, okay?” Bucky nodded and proceeded to lie down. Steve made his way to the closest and pulled out a blanket. When he walked back over to the couch, Bucky had his eyes closed.

Steve just smiled as he knelt down, putting the blanket over him. Bucky opened his eyes and smiled up at Steve.

“You’re so good to me Steve.” Bucky whispered. Steve just smiled as he reached out and cupped Bucky’s cheek. Steve didn’t respond to Bucky’s words as he leaned forward, resting his forehead against Bucky’s.

Why did everything always have to happen at the worst time? They seriously had the worst timing, the both of them.

Steve could tell Bucky was drifting off, but he didn’t want to leave him just yet so he sat there, listening the Bucky’s breathing as it slowly started to even out. Steve pulled his hand away and just looked at him. He looked so beautiful. So calm and peaceful. He reached out and moved the hair away from his face.

It was times like this that made Steve realize how completely gone he was for this man.

“What’s wrong with him?” Steve jumped a bit as he turned around. Emma was standing in the doorway, clad in only one of Steve’s shirts.

“He’s drunk.” Steve said, pulling himself up. “He came over here and told me that Connie left him.” Emma looked at him like he had grown a second head. “His fiancé.”

“Oh?” Emma replied, giving a small shrug.

“Yeah. I’ll get the full story in the morning, but now, now he just needs to sleep.” Emma just nodded. “Let’s go back to bed.” She seemed more excited at that idea as they went back into the bedroom.

Steve wasn’t sure what was to come in the morning, but he would deal with that when it came.

No point in dwelling on it now.

* * *

Steve woke up early the next morning, only because he couldn’t really fall back asleep. He had too many thoughts.

All he could think about was what had happened just mere hours earlier.

Bucky had appeared on his doorstep, drunk as a skunk, confessed his feelings for him as well as mentioning that he was now a single man, then proceeded to feel Steve up in the hallway. And Steve had let him.

It was almost too much.

How was he supposed to deal with this? What was he supposed to do?

He was beyond thrilled. He wouldn’t lie. He had been waiting for this for a while now. But it was just the timing. The timing was always off.

Every single time.

By 4 o’clock he had given up on trying to sleep.

After he had showered and cleared most of his thoughts away, he made his way out to the living room but everything came flooding back once he caught sight of Bucky passed out on his couch.

Shit.

He could do this. He had dealt with worse.

He needed to go for a run. Clear his thoughts again. And possibly think of a plan as to what he was going to do when Bucky woke up.

He wanted to text Natasha and have her come over here and help him deal with this. He didn’t even know if she knew about Connie yet. Had Bucky told her? (Probably not, otherwise Steve was sure Bucky wouldn’t have even made it over here) Besides, Steve wouldn’t be the one that spill that news to her. It was Bucky’s new to tell.

He walked back into the apartment feeling worse than he did when he left. He honestly didn’t know why he had even showered to begin with. He was just all nasty again.

He was over-thinking this, he knew that. He started the coffee maker. Things would go along better with coffee.

Steve looked up when Emma walked into the kitchen fully dressed and functional, heels clicking against the hardwood floor.

“Hey.” She said with a big smile. Steve smiled and leaned down and pressed a quick kiss to her lips.

“Big plans today?” He asked. He noticed she had packed clothes but she looked like she was going to a business meeting. But was Saturday.

“Interviews today.” She replied, reaching into her bag to pull out her phone.

“On a Saturday?”

“Tony insisted that he be there for the interviews. They were supposed to be yesterday, but Tony didn’t show. Go figure, right? So we had to reschedule for today.”

“Ah.” That sounded like Tony.

“Yeah, so I must be going. I’ll call you later.” And she was out the door before Steve could even register it that she had even walked away.

Emma was something else when she had work on the brain. Chase had been like that too, except he was a bit more relaxed. Then again, he wasn’t in charge of the whole Human Resources department at Stark Industries.

He let out a deep sigh as he looked back at the couch, only to realize that it was empty.

What the hell? When had Bucky disappeared? He had been there when he came back.

He heard the toilet flush and Bucky walked out of the bathroom, running his hand through his hair. He looked like nothing had happened last night.

Well, here goes nothing.

Steve took a step forward as Bucky looked up at him and smiled. Steve felt his knees go weak.

Dammit. Steve was going to fail, he just knew it.

“Mornin’ Stevie.”

“Bucky.” Steve said, taking a deep breath. He could do this. “We need to talk.”

“What do you want to talk about?” Bucky’s mood didn’t seem to go away. Maybe he didn’t remember what happened. Shit. He should have just waited for Bucky to say something about it.

Well, here goes nothing.

“We need to talk about what happened.”

“Right. About that.” Okay, here is comes. Where Bucky says he was drunk and it didn’t mean anything. Steve could deal with this rejection. He had dealt with it many times before. “I meant what I said.”

Oh.

“Do you even remember what you said last night?”

“I do. And Steve,” Bucky took another step forward and he looked like a child in a candy store. He looked so happy. It was nice seeing Bucky like this. “It feels amazing to finally be honest with myself.”

“What do you mean?”

“I have had feelings for you basically since the first moment I met you.” Steve didn’t know what to say to this. “I have been fighting myself forever now about this and it just feels great to get it all out in the open. I love you Steve.”

“Buck…”Steve whispered. He wasn’t quite sure how to respond this. He had been waiting to hear these words come from Bucky forever and now that they have been said, he doesn’t exactly know how to respond.

“Just, let me say it, now that I am completely sober and in my own head.” Steve just nodded.

“When we first met, I don’t know what it was about you, but there was something that drew me to you. I fell for you quickly, but all I could think about was what Alex did to me. I kept you at a distance. I tried to be friends.  I loved Connie. At least I thought I did.

“That day we spent together, going out and taking pictures. It was honestly one of the best days of my life. I think it was then that I truly realized how much I loved you. It was amazing. I was actually going to leave Connie then. Screw everything and just go with my heart. I was planning it all out that entire afternoon.”

Steve was glued in his spot, listening to what Bucky was saying. He couldn’t move, he couldn’t speak, he wasn’t even sure he was even breathing anymore.

“And then you kissed me. Jesus Steve, it was amazing and I wanted to so bad, but something happened. I don’t know what caused it, but something made me think of Alex. He used to always take me hotels, give me things and just…”

“I would never…” Steve started.

“I know. God I know that Steve, but something in me snapped and I had to do the only thing I could think of, and that was to go back to Connie.” Steve tried to forget about that morning in the hotel. He hated thinking of Bucky that way.

“We don’t have to talk about this Bucky...”

“But Steve, god, I treat you like shit and yet you still somehow manage to look at me like I created the world. You always do. It’s like nothing happened at all. Somehow that made me fall even more in love with you even though I was trying to be mad at you. Anything to make you hate me. You know how hard it is to be upset with you?”

“Well, you did a pretty good job at it.”

“Wade figured out my feelings for you quickly. Natasha always knew. I think that’s why she introduced us in the first place. She has been trying to get me to admit my feelings for you and make a move for a while now.”

“Same with me.” Bucky laughed, taking another step towards Steve.

“Yeah. But all of that is in the past now. We are here, together, now. And that is all that matters.” Bucky took another step forward, grabbing Steve’s hands in his. “I want to give this a shot, you and I. I’m ready now.” Steve wanted to cry. In fact, he may have actually been crying.

This was everything he had ever wanted, and he can’t even really have it.

“Oh Buck…you don’t know how much I want that.” Bucky’s smile fell a bit.

“But?”

“But, yesterday you were engaged. You were ready to spend the rest of your life with someone else. And I’m sorta with Emma now. We can’t just, be together. No matter how much we both want it.”

“Steve…”

“I love you Bucky, don’t ever doubt that.” Steve cupped Bucky’s face with his hands, bringing them together in a gentle kiss. “But you need some time for yourself. You just got out of a horrible relationship with Connie. Enjoy being single. Live life for a bit. And then, when you’re ready, when we’re both ready. We can be together.” Bucky smiled up at him, letting loose a small chuckle as he dropped his head against Steve’s chest.

“You’re just too damn good for me, Steve Rogers.” Steve laughed.

“You don’t know how hard it is for me to not just ravage you right now.” Bucky looked up at him, raising an eyebrow.

“Well, we could always just say ‘fuck it’ and do what we want.”

“Buck…”

“I know. I know. It was just an idea.”

“I’m not saying we have to wait forever, just, you know, you do have a lot on your plate right now. You need to get things settled with Connie and then things at the clinic. That’s where your focus needs to be.”

“I know. Did I tell you that I hired a new doctor?”

“No. That’s great! What’s their name?” Steve asked as he slowly pulled himself away from Bucky.

“Doctor Charles Xavier. He’s some British doctor, but he came highly recommended and he seems really good with kids. He specializes more with older children, so that will help out clientele grow as well.”

“Well that’s great!”

“Yeah. And he comes with his own receptionist. Scott Summers.”

“Oh?”

“Yeah, Wade is over the fuckin’ moon. Someone else to pester.” Steve laughed.

“I’m sure he is loving that. He keeps texting me trying to get Peter’s number from me.” Bucky just nodded, putting his hands in his pockets.

“He is something else. But I have a lot of people interested in this event, so I can’t really be mad at him for too long.” Steve and Bucky were quiet after that. It was a comfortable silence, but there was only so long it would stay that way.

This is the part where things got awkward.

Feelings had just been confessed but it didn’t go the way it should have, typical movie ending.

Steve had to save the moment. Keep it from getting too weird.

“So, wanna watch a movie?” Bucky looked up at him and smiled.

“Can we watch something absolutely ridiculous?”

“What were you thinking?”

“You have Evil Dead?”

“Of fuckin’ course.” Steve walked over to his monstrous DVD collection, pulling it out. “It’s a classic.” Bucky just laughed as he hopped over the back of the couch, crashing down on the cushions.

Steve wondered over to the couch and sat down next to Bucky. He tried to keep a reasonable distance between them, but that ended in two seconds when Bucky moved in close to him, reaching over to grab his hand.

“This okay?” He whispered, resting his head on Steve’s shoulder. Steve just smiled, leaning back into the couch.

“Yeah. This is okay.” He squeezed Bucky’s hand back before pressing play.

And for the first time Steve felt that things were actually going to get better. Life was good and in the moment, there is nowhere else he would rather be.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So.... Steve and Bucky are now in the next phase of their relationship! Finally!
> 
> Next chapter will be the Meet and Greet at the clinic!
> 
> Let me know what you think! :)


	32. (245.)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Look! Another chapter, and just before civil war comes out! ;)
> 
> Sorry for taking so long, it seems that every time I tried to work on this, life just got busier and busier. 
> 
> As always, thanks for reading, commenting, subscribing and leaving kudos. It's nice to know after all this time you guys are still enjoying the story!
> 
> Sorry up front for all the mistakes that are probably in here. But I was in a hurry.

“Steve? Steve?” Steve could faintly feel something cold touching his bare arm. But he was too tired to actually open his eyes as to who was bothering him. He rolled over, trying his best to ignore whoever it was that was disrupting his beauty sleep. “Stevie.” Steve opened his eyes at that. Only one person called him that.

Standing in front of him stood the absolute look of perfection. Bucky was bending down next to him, giving him the biggest smile he could pull off. Steve smiled back, doing his best to stop from yawning right in his face (didn’t quite work, but hey, he tried).

“Morning birthday boy.” Steve watched as Bucky’s face grew red before his focus turned to the floor.  “Did you think I would forget?” Steve pulled himself up into a sitting position as Bucky moved and sat down on the edge of the bed. Bucky didn’t respond, just replying with a small shrug.

Bucky had crashed over last night after a movie night with him and Sam. But now, here he was, dressed to the nines looking as good as he possibly could, like he hadn’t just gone to bed a few hours ago. Steve was sure that he looked like death itself.

“Why are you up so early?” Steve mumbled out through a yawn. Bucky just laughed, shoving him a bit.

“The meet and greet is today doofus.” Well shit, why did Steve have to stay up late last night? How could he have forgotten about it?

“Right.” Steve crashed back down on the bed, curling into his pillow. If he could just sleep for a little bit longer… Steve opened his eyes when he felt the bed sink in again. Bucky had moved in a bit closer towards Steve. If Steve didn’t know better, Bucky seemed to have a hint of a predatory look in his eyes.

But it was gone just as fast as it appeared.

Things between he and Bucky were a bit weird, to say the least. Nothing really changed per se; he just noticed that Bucky was a little bit clingier than before.

The whole thing only happened four days ago. It wasn’t enough to really go on, especially since Steve hadn’t seen Bucky much since then, in fact last night had been the first time Steve had seen Bucky since the whole confession. But given how Bucky had acted towards Steve at the movie night, it was safe for Steve to make all these assumptions.

Before Bucky had always been a little bit on the closer side with Steve, but now that Bucky was officially single, it was like a whole different feeling. All his touches now had the hint of something else in them.

Steve could sense the difference, and he was positive that everyone else would be able to too. He could practically feel Sam’s eyes on him throughout the night.

But Steve kept things in check. He kept himself under control.

Which was quite a feat in itself. Steve wanted nothing more than to grab Bucky and pull him into the bed and never leave.

But he couldn’t do that.

Bucky needed time and space. He had only been a single man for four days. He needed more time to adjust back into things. He couldn’t just start a relationship with Steve. Especially with what happened the last time Bucky was in a relationship with a man.

“What time are you coming to the clinic?”

“I don’t know yet. Peter is coming to pick me up sometime soon. It starts at noon right? So we will be there before 11. Hopefully. Peter is usually very punctual so it might end up being around ten. I don’t even really know. It’s too early for me to think.” Bucky just smiled and reached forward, grabbing one of Steve’s hands.

“Just let me know.” Steve just smiled. He loved how open Bucky was being with this. Going from what he may have experienced with Alex to this. It was unbelievable how much Bucky has changed. How much he has grown.

Bucky then leaned forward and pressed a quick kiss on Steve’s lips. Well, that was a bit unexpected.

“I’ll see you later.” Before Steve could even react, Bucky was out of the room.

What the hell was that?

It was too early for things like this.

He didn’t mind the kiss. Not by a long shot. But still, it wasn’t what was supposed to be happening. Friends didn’t just kiss each other, regardless of what feelings may have been expressed previously.

Steve took a deep breath and pulled himself from the bed. There was no way he was going to get any sleep now.  Not with the kiss still fresh in his mind.

It was just a quick kiss. Nothing to get worked up over.

 If Bucky had been shoving his tongue down his throat then that would be a different story.

Steve stumbled his way out to the kitchen and instantly felt Sam’s judging eyes on him. Why was Sam up early too? He went to bed even later than Steve and Bucky had.

“Yes?” Steve asked, grabbing the carton of orange juice out of the fridge. He considered getting a glass but decided against it as he chugged it from the carton. Sam was already judging him, might as well have him judge him a bit more.

“What the fuck is going on with you and Barnes?” Steve ignored him as he continued chugging the juice. When he was finished, he tossed it in the trash before turning around; coming face to face with Sam’s judging eyes. “I’m waiting.”

“Nothing.” Steve mumbled out.

“What was that?”

“There is nothing between us. We are the same as we always have been.”

Okay, so Steve may not have told Sam everything that happened between him and Bucky that night. He told him that Connie called things off, but Bucky confessing his feelings for him. He may have left that part out.

It was really none of his business, right?

No one had to really know until they were ready. Besides, he wasn’t sure if Bucky wanted everyone to know about his feelings.

He was sure that Natasha filled everyone else in about Bucky and Connie’s relationship. He was positive of that actually, since Peggy had called him, asking for more details about it the next day.

Again, Steve didn’t disclose everything to her. Just the basics.

“Steve…”

“What?” Steve sighed, running a hand over his face. It was too early for a confrontation.

“There is something going on here. You don’t have to tell me all the details but you can’t lie and say that it was nothing. Bucky was extremely affectionate towards you last night.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Look, I thought he was bad before, but this, this is something else…” Steve finally looked at Sam again, trying his best not to give anything away. But he was too tired to really put up a front.

“Okay. It’s not just nothing, but it isn’t really anything. I am figuring everything out, okay? Nothing to worry about. Bucky and I are friends, like we always have been. Nothing has really changed.” Sam just laughed at that, making his way over to the couch. Steve knew he didn’t sound very convincing but it was the best he had.

“Whatever you say, buddy.”

“Peter should be stopping by here soon. I don’t know when, but I’m gonna shower. So be nice when he comes.”

“Meet and greet today?” Sam asked, completely ignoring what Steve had just stated.

“Yeah. You coming?”

“Nah.” Steve just rolled his eyes. Typical. Sam was usually very social and normally, he would come to things like this, especially if it involved Steve’s art career. But Steve was sure that it had something to do with Bucky.

“Peggy is coming.”

“Well she finds Peter adorable. Of course she would show up.” Steve just laughed as he headed to the bathroom.

“You should still make an appearance!” Steve shouted, slamming the door shut.

* * *

 

Steve stepped out of his room and the first thing he heard was the sound of voices (as in he and Sam were no longer the only people in the apartment). He hadn’t even heard anyone knock on the door.

Steve walked out towards the living room, tucking in his shirt along the way, looking to see who Sam was talking with, although he had a pretty good idea. He was expecting someone.

In the living room sat Sam, Peter and surprisingly, Peggy. Peter turned around and smiled big at Steve. It was times like this that Steve remembered just how young Peter was.

“Steve!” Steve smiled, sitting down in the only vacant chair left in the room.

“Hey Peter. Where’s MJ? I thought she was coming along as well.” Steve watched as Peter’s face fell a bit. Great. Leave it to Steve to make things awkward fast. Why did he have to bring that up? He should have waited for Peter to bring it up first.

“She’s spending the weekend with Harry.” Peter mumbled, looking down at his hands.

“Oh.” Steve replied, looking down at the floor as well.

“You’re looking sharp Steve.” Peggy always knew how to get them out of an awkward moment.

“Thanks.”

“Trying to impress anyone?” Sam added. Steve just gave him a small glare. Peggy caught on quick.

“Oh, am I missing something?”

“Steve and Bucky…”

“Well, why don’t we head out?” Sam just laughed as Steve stood up. No need to bring Peggy in on the whole Bucky situation yet. Steve knew what she would think of it and he didn’t need that yet. He needed time to prep for his disapproval. “We will need all the time we can get to set up.”

“Right-o!” Peter replied, jumping up. Peggy gave Steve her infamous look, meaning he was going to be getting a lecture later on.

“You boys better behave yourself.”

“Have we ever not behaved ourselves?” Peter said with a smile, coming over to wrap an arm around Steve’s shoulders. Peggy didn’t respond to that, she just raised an eyebrow. Steve knew that the last time he and Peter had gone out together, it hadn’t ended quite that well.

There was a reason they never really hung out together to begin with.

“You want to join us Peggy?” Steve asked, standing up as well. “We can give you a ride?”

“No. I’ll meet you there.” She replied. “You don’t need me in the way while you set up.”

“I’m sure Wade will be more than enough for you.” Sam replied with a smirk. Steve let out a small sigh. He had almost forgotten about Wade. He wasn’t ready to deal with him just yet.

Bucky had assured him that Wade had promised to be on his best behavior, but something told Steve that that just wasn’t going to cut it.

“Let’s go!” Peter said, slapping Steve on the back. Steve almost laughed at Peter’s wince as he shook his hand out. 

Today was going to be an interesting day.

* * *

 

When they pulled up to the clinic, Steve began to remember why he thought this was such a bad idea to begin with. Wade was plastered against the front door with the biggest grin ever. He looked like a kid seeing an amusement park for the first time.

Steve stepped out of the car and he saw Wade move a bit. He probably wasn’t sure if Peter was there or not. No need to get excited for just Steve. When Peter stepped out the car, Wade was out the front door in a second. In fact, Wade about knocked Steve on his ass on his way to meet Peter.

“Peter Parker, so glad to finally meet ya!” Wade stepped forward, grabbing a hold of Peter’s hand.

“Well it’s nice to meet you too.” Peter replied with a smile as Wade continued shaking his hand. “I’ve heard so much about you.”

“Good things I hope.” Wade looked over at Steve, finally releasing Peter’s hand. Steve just coughed and grabbed a hold of Peter’s bags.

“Shall we?”

“I’ll take those.” Wade jumped in and grabbed the bags from Steve. “You go inside and give Barnes a hand, if you know what I mean.” Wade threw a leer Steve’s way, even adding an obscene gesture before moving in closer to Peter.

Steve just sighed as he made his way inside.

There was light music playing the background once he entered. The clinic looked so different. All the chairs from the waiting room were pushed off to one corner, making the lobby seem a hundred times bigger. There were tables set up around the room, as well as some decorations that hadn’t been set up yet.

All in all, it looked amazing. Bucky had really been working hard this morning, considering that last night Bucky had stated that he had nothing set up yet. He must have made Wade come in early as well to help set up.

“God dammit!” Steve was pulled from his thoughts as Bucky’s voice echoed throughout the room. He hadn’t even seen Bucky when he walked in. Steve looked over and found Bucky standing on a ladder, trying to hang up a banner.

“You need some help?” Bucky looked over at him and the frustrated look faded quick as a smile appeared.

“Sure.” Steve walked over and grabbed the hammer that Bucky seemed to have dropped.

“Here.” Steve didn’t miss the way Bucky’s fingers lingered against his as he grabbed the hammer from Steve and finished nailing in the banner.

“There!” Bucky said with a smile as he climbed down the ladder. Bucky looked him over and smiled even bigger. “You look good Steve.” Steve just smiled as he looked down at the ground. He should really learn how to not blush in front of Bucky. You think he’d have gotten over that by now. “Where’s Peter?”

“Oh, he’s um…”

“Just this way.” As if on cue, Wade came waltzing into the room with his arm wrapped around Peter. Peter didn’t look the least bit uncomfortable. In fact, he looked quite happy.

“Peter, this is Dr. James Barnes.” Steve said, remembering his manners. “Bucky, this is Peter Parker.” Bucky stepped forward first.

“It is so nice to finally meet you. Thank you for donating some of your work to the clinic. The children love it.” Peter just laughed.

“Well, I’m always here to help.”

“Well, I’m going to give Peter a tour, you two can go back to setting up.” Wade said, steering Peter off towards the children’s room. Steve and Bucky just watched them go.

“I honestly didn’t think they would get along.” Steve said. He should have known Wade was the type of person Peter would like. Bucky just laughed as he made his way over to the table he had set up in the middle of the lobby.

“Steve?” Bucky knelt down and pulled out a rather large box.

“Yes?” Steve stepped up to the table and found that it was full on art supplies. Bucky was really going all out for this. He was going to have to think of a way to pay him back for all of this.

“There is another box in my office of treats for the kids. Can you go get it for me?”

“Of course.” Steve just smiled as he made his way to the back. As he walked pass the play room, he couldn’t help but stop and glance inside. Peter and Wade were sitting down at a table, going through one of the books. Steve couldn’t really hear what was being said. He didn’t want them to catch him eavesdropping.

But really, he didn’t think Peter and Wade would get along this well. Unless Peter was just humoring him, but Peter always spoke his mind. He wasn’t one to fake being nice to someone.

He was a snarky little shit when he wanted to be.

Maybe that’s why he and Wade got along so well.

Steve made his way back through the hallway and stopped when he noticed a closed door next to Bucky’s office. He stepped forward and saw the name Charles Xavier on the door.

Steve had almost forgotten that Bucky had hired a new doctor. He would have to remember to ask Bucky about him again, see if he was showing up today. Steve made his way to Bucky’s office and pushed opened the door.

“Steve wait!” Steve had already stepped inside when he heard Bucky’s voice. Steve looked inside and well, it wasn’t what he was expecting to see.

Bucky’s office was a complete mess.

His desk was pushed off to the side and looked like it hadn’t been used in days. It was full of papers and books. The couch was new. At least Steve didn’t remember there being a couch in his office before. But there were duffel bags everywhere.  Clothes were strewn over the floor. There were pillows and blankets covering the couch.

Bucky had been staying here. More than that, he was living here.

“Steve…” Steve had forgotten that Bucky was even there.

“Is this where you are staying?” Bucky came around him and started trying to straighten things up.

“Connie kicked me out. She was supposed to be staying at her friends or something but I guess she changed her mind. So I’ve been here. I crashed with Wade the first night but got rid of that idea quickly.” Steve couldn’t help but laugh.

“What? Why?” Bucky just raised an eyebrow.

“He decided to try and have a threesome, while I was there. So yeah, no. I might take him up on his offer of his shower, but that is it.”

“Buck, you should have said something. You can come and stay with Sam and I while you are looking for an apartment.”

“Steve no…”

“Why? You are more than welcome to stay with us. Sam won’t mind. You’ve crashed there before.”

“I’m going to meeting with some people to look at an apartment next week. I’m fine here so don’t worry about it.”

“Buck…”

“Steve, really. I’m fine.”

“But…”

“Nope.” Bucky reached forward and covered Steve’s mouth with his hand. “Steve, really, I got this. I’ve endured worse, remember, I lost an arm.” Steve’s shoulders sagged. Bucky removed his hand and Steve couldn’t help but sigh.

“I never meant to imply that you couldn’t do it, just…”

“I know. You’re just a good person. Honestly, it’s probably better we keep our distance, y’know?”

“Bucky…”

“Hey losers, you better be decent in there.” Wade shouted as he walked through the door. “Oh man, I thought I was really going to get a show when I walked in here. I’ve been dying to see that ass of yours Rogers.”

“Wilson…” Bucky groaned. Wade just went on like Bucky wasn’t looking at him with a look that should have probably killed him.

“Peter has a bunch of stuff to give away and wants to know where to put it. Care to come back out and help out?” Bucky rolled his eyes again before looking back at Steve. Steve just smiled.

“Can you get that box Stevie?”

“Yeah.” Bucky just walked back out, pushing Wade back out. Steve took a deep breath. He could make it through today. He could do it. He turned around and grabbed the box before carrying it back out to the lobby.

Here goes nothing.

* * *

 

The meet and greet went over wonderfully.  There was a great turnout and well, Steve couldn’t have expected anything better. He had never seen Peter this happy before.

Peter read out a few of his stories and talked with every single child that had shown up. Steve did a few sketches for all the kids that wanted one.

His hand was going to be killing him later, but he didn’t care. It was worth it seeing each of them smile at him. The local paper was there as well. Steve just hoped the story turned out well.

Bucky and Wade had stayed off to the corner of the room for most of the time. Bucky made most of the announcements while Wade kept his attention on Peter. Every time Steve looked over at them, Wade was watching Peter.

Steve couldn’t really read his face, but for once, it didn’t look predatory. He almost looked kind of fond.

Bucky made sure everyone knew they could stick around for snacks and everything. Bucky had hired a bunch of other people as well, to help keep the children entertained as well. Just small tables of other activities and games.

It was crazy. It was like a mini fair inside the clinic.

Steve wasn’t even aware the clinic was big enough to house all these people. Apparently there were even some happenings going on outside as well.

It was unbelievable.

When Bucky had brought up the idea of a meet and greet, this was not what he had been expecting.

Peggy had shown up with Sharon and even Sam about halfway through Peter’s little reading session. Wade singled in on Peggy quickly and followed her around like a lost puppy, almost as if Peter had been forgotten. Of course, that changed whenever Peggy sought out Peter and well, Steve lost track of them after that.

Natasha and Clint showed up as well. Clint looked tired but Natasha looked as radiant as ever, with her ever growing baby bump. Steve would never get over how beautiful she looked.

“Steve.”  Natasha pulled Steve into a hug. “Look at you. I don’t think I’ve ever seen you this happy.” Steve just smiled.

“I am happy.”

“Bucky told me what happened between the two of you the other night.” Steve just nodded.

“Of course he did.”

 “I just want to say, that I’m proud of you.”

“Proud of me?” Steve found that hard to believe. Usually she lived off telling Steve how much of a dumbass he was. After all this time of her trying to get the two of them together, she was proud that he had pushed Bucky away again.

“Yes. You put Bucky’s well being first. You could have easily given in and jumped into something you both know you’re not ready for. But you stayed strong. And I’m proud of you.”

“Yeah. Well, it wasn’t easy.” Steve looked over and found Bucky chatting with Clint. Bucky looked so happy. Steve had thought that he seemed happy before, but this, this was something else. “I do love him, you know.”

“I know.”

“I think I always have.”

“How does Emma feel about this whole ordeal.”

“Who?” Steve looked over and saw that Natasha’s face fall. Emma.

Oh.

Oh shit.

He was dating someone.

“Shit.”

“Steven.” Angry Natasha was coming out. Shit. Fuck. Shit.

“I mean, it’s only been like four days. She must not be missing me that much if she hasn’t messaged me either.” He noticed the anger fade away.

“What are you going to do?” Steve just shrugged.

“She will understand if I call things off. We weren’t exactly dating. More just along the lines of fucking each other.”

“Steve! Watch your language. There are children about.” Sam said, bumping into Steve from behind. Steve just rolled his eyes as he watched Sam make his way over to Sharon, giving her a small drink.

Sharon smiled up at him, moving in a little bit closer than was necessary for two people that were just friends.

Interesting. He never really noticed it before, but Sam and Sharon would make an interesting couple.

“What is that prick doing here?” Steve was thrown from his thoughts by Natasha’s tone. Steve followed her eyes and found that she was looking at Bucky. Bucky didn’t look as happy as before.

In fact he looked tense and very uncomfortable.

Bucky was speaking with an older man. The man had to be in his mid fifties, Steve couldn’t really tell from here. But that was all he could see. He was very well dressed and held himself like a man who had power.

“Who is that?”

“Alexander Pierce.” Steve’s body went rigid and his fists instinctively clenched. He was moving before he even thought about what he was doing.

As he moved closer he noticed that Bucky looked almost scared. Here Bucky was in a place where he felt safe, and this man came in and ruined it.

“Hey Buck, you doing alright?” Steve said, moving in alongside Bucky. His hand rested on the curve of his back, reassuring him that nothing bad would happen. Steve noticed that Bucky began to relax immediately, not entirely, but it was something.

“Ah, and who might you be?” The man said, trying to put on his best smile. Steve could practically feel how greasy this man was. Smooth motherfucker.

“Steve Rogers.”

“Alexander Pierce.” Pierce reached out and shook his hand. “You’re the illustrator?”

“I am. How do you know Bucky?”

“James and I go way back, don’t we?” Bucky didn’t say anything as he just glared at Pierce. Steve looked at Bucky one last time before making his decision. He stepped forward, invading Pierce’s personal space.

“Look here Mr. Pierce, you look like a very respectable man, but don’t think for one second I don’t know who you are and what you did to Bucky. If you are indeed as smart as you look, you would turn yourself around and go back to whatever hole you crawled out of. Got it?” Pierce didn’t really react, except for a small smile.

“Brock told me a lot about you, Steven Rogers. Always putting your mouth where it doesn’t belong.” Steve’s face fell a bit at the mention of Brock. How in the hell was the world small enough that Pierce and Brock knew each other? “It was good to see you James. Steve.” Pierce then turned and walked away. He even made a point to walk by Natasha as well.

What a piece of shit.

Once he was out of the building, Steve turned back to Bucky.

“You okay?”

“Yeah. I don’t even know how he found me.” Steve didn’t say anything as he just reached forward, grabbing Bucky’s hands.

“You should go and get some fresh air or something, give yourself time to relax again.” Bucky looked up at him and smiled. It was a sad sort of smile. Steve knew Bucky needed to be by himself for a bit.

Steve had felt the same way when he saw Brock for the first time. It was a lot to take in and being surrounded my hundreds of people wouldn’t help.

“Thank you Steve.” Bucky pulled Steve’s hand up to lips, pressing a small kiss on the top of his palm before walking back towards the offices.

“Steve?” Steve paused at that, because he hasn’t heard that voice in what seems like forever.

“Chase?” Steve turned around and there stood Chase, with another man. Steve could only assume that it was Richard.

“It’s good to see you!” Chase stepped forward and pulled Steve into a hug.

Well today just keeps getting more and more interesting.

“How…? Why?” Chase just laughed.

“Did you think I would forget? I saw this in the paper and I had to stop by and support my favorite artist.” Steve smiled and looked over at Richard. He wasn’t what he had been expecting. He was tall and thin, dark hair with glasses. His eyes were a beautiful shade of green. “I don’t think we’ve had the privilege of meeting.” Steve said, extending his hand. “Steve Rogers.”

“Richard Matthews. I’ve heard a lot about you, Steve.”

“Hopefully only the good things.”

“Of course. Richard, could you go and get us a few drinks.” Richard nodded and walked away. Chase watched him go and Steve could see the fondness in his eyes.

“I’m really happy for you Chase.” Steve said, finding a vacant chair to sit down in. Chase pulled up a stool as well.

“I can’t really complain. He makes me happy. What about you Steve?”

“What about me?”

“How are you doing?”

“I’m making it.”

“Are you and Bucky together now?” Steve’s eyes widened.

“What? What makes you…”

“I saw the little hand holding gesture. I put two and two together.”

“Oh, well, um, no. We aren’t together.” He watched confusion gather on Chase’s features. “He and Connie called it quits. She dumped him. I was…well, am dating this girl Emma. Really nice gal and um, Bucky confessed his feelings for me.” Chase just stared at him, trying to put together the jumbled up mess of a sentence that Steve just spit out.

“About damn time.” Steve laughed.

“Wrong time though.”

“You two are meant to be. Everyone can see it.”

“Except us, apparently, since it took this long.” Chase just shrugged.

“Sometimes it takes the most random things to get us to finally see what has been in front of us all along.”

“Yeah.” Steve looked around the room and found that Bucky hadn’t quite made it to the back. He was in the process of talking with Natasha at the moment. She must have stopped him along the way.

If anyone could really understand how he was feeling, it would be her. Steve watched as Natasha grabbed his flesh hand and pressed it against her belly. She looked up at him and smiled when Bucky pulled his hand away, laughing as well.

“You’ve got it so bad.” Chase said, brushing against Steve’s shoulder. Steve quickly shook his thoughts from his mind and turned his attention back to Chase.

“Sorry.”

“You are going to give him a chance right? Bucky?”

“When the time is right, we will give it a try.” Chase just nodded.

“Just don’t make him wait too long. Or you, for that matter.” Steve just smiled.

“Who knows? In a week’s time, he may not even want me anymore.”

“I doubt that.” Chase reached out and gripped Steve’s shoulder. “It was good to see you Steve. It’s nice to see you happy again.”

“It was nice seeing you too. Hope to see you around more often.” Chase just smiled as he left to seek out Richard.

* * *

When everyone had finally left, all that was left in the clinic was just Steve and Bucky. Natasha wasn’t feeling well so she and Clint ducked out early. Sam had left with Sharon while Peggy left not too long after.

The new doctor, Charles Xavier had showed up later, after the majority had left. Bucky introduced him to Steve. He was something else. But he seemed like he would be a good fit at the clinic though. If anything, he would help keep Wade in check.

Speaking of which, Wade had snuck Peter away at some time. Steve had no idea where they had gone to, and probably doesn’t want to know. He would find out anyways, either from Wade himself or Peter.

The lobby was a mess, but Bucky said he would worry about all that tomorrow.

At the moment, Bucky was back in his office, sneaking in a beer as he crashed down on his couch. Apparently there was a small fridge in his office that was stocked full of different alcoholic beverages, just in case.

Steve was rummaging through all the treats that Bucky had bought and found one last cupcake. Steve even somehow managed to find a candle.

Honestly, he didn’t know why Bucky had a birthday candle in this clinic, but hey, he wasn’t going to question it as he found a match and lit it (again, Steve wouldn’t question the matches).

He walked in and Bucky’s face dropped.

“Steve…”

“Did you think I would forget it was your birthday?” Bucky just laughed as he took the little paper plate.

“Giving me something I actually bought myself. How very sweet of you Steve.” Steve just laughed as he sat down next to him.

“It’s the thought that counts.” Bucky just smiled as he studied the flame on top of the candle. “Don’t forget to make a wish!” Bucky didn’t say anything as he closed his eyes and blew out the candle.

“Thanks Steve.” Bucky set the plate next to him as he leaned back on the couch. His hand fell down on top of Steve’s, but Steve doubted that he even noticed. Bucky looked exhausted, and well, it had been a very long day.

“Did you have a good birthday?” Bucky looked over at him and grinned.

“It was alright.”

“Just alright?” Bucky laughed, leaning over to smack Steve in the arm.

“It wasn’t exactly how I planned to spend my day y’know, but it had its moments.”

“That’s good.” There was a comfortable silence between them as they just sat on the couch, hands intertwined.

Steve glanced around the office, really taking everything in. There was Bucky’s Medical degree hanging on the wall, along with a few pictures of Bucky with his family. Steve smiled when he saw one of Bucky and Becca.

He really missed Becca.

Bucky had mentioned that she had wanted to come today, but something had come up and she wasn’t able to make it. But that she had promised to visit quite soon.

Steve noticed that there were a few empty hooks on the walls, and he assumed that those had been pictures of Connie.

“What I really wanted for my birthday, I can’t have.” Bucky said, breaking the silence. Steve swallowed hard and looked over at him. Bucky was looking up at him again.

“Buck…”

“I know. I know. It doesn’t hurt to wish though.” Bucky looked over at him and he looked so tired. Steve took a deep breath and scooted over, leaning down so that he was eye level with Bucky. Bucky didn’t even move as Steve pressed a gentle kiss to Bucky’s lips.

Bucky pressed back gently, knowing that it wasn’t meant to be anything but what it was. Steve placed a hand on Bucky’s cheeks, deepening the kiss for the briefest of seconds before pulling away, resting his forehead against Bucky’s.

“I would like nothing more than to be with you, Buck. But now is not the time.”

“I know.” Bucky reached up and cupped Steve’s cheek. “This right here, this is enough. For now.”

“I wish I had an actual present for you though.”

“Just you being here is enough.” Steve smiled down at him and considered going in for another kiss, but Bucky shot off the couch like lightning, going over to his desk, tossing papers and folders across the floor. It was like a switch had been turned on or something.

“Bucky?”

“I almost forgot.” He then held up two small pieces of paper. “I have been meaning to talk to you about this for a while now, but I just kept forgetting. Bucky walked over and planted himself next to Steve again, handing him the pieces of paper.

They were movie tickets.

“That theater downtown is playing Cat on a Hot Tin Roof and I was wondering if you wanted to go with me.”

“I would love too.” Steve smiled down at the tickets. “Where…?”

“Oh, I’ve had them for a while. I always intended on asking you to go with me though. Connie never really liked movies like that.”

“It sounds like fun. I would love to go with you.”

“Great!” Bucky reached over and grabbed Steve’s hand again. “It’s a date.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading guys!
> 
> It was like a complete handful of appearances in this chapter. And I wanted to put Becca in this one, like I had every intention of putting her in here, but then it seems I forgot. So yeah, I'll try and have her make an appearance soon! :)


	33. (260.)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the wait guys, but this chapter was giving me a lot of trouble and I'm still not too sure about it. I feel like it is all over the place, but whatnot. I'm tired of looking at it. There are probably mistakes, so sorry about that as well.
> 
> But thank you to everyone who has read, left comments, kudos or subscribed to this story. Thanks for sticking with me through it all! You're the best!

Steve walked up the stairs behind Bucky and he couldn’t help but feel a little bit nervous.  Okay, he was a bit more than nervous. He was fucking terrified.

This was the first time he had been back at Bucky’s (well, now it was Connie’s) apartment since the dinner party, since they had called everything off.

So yeah, terrified doesn’t even really begin to cover it.

Bucky had finally secured a new apartment, and now it was time for him to get all his furniture and actually move in. No more crashing at the clinic and taking speedy showers at Wade’s house. Bucky had apparently spoken with Connie and made some kind of arrangement for him to come over and get his things.

Bucky had asked Steve to help him. That he would get the moving trailer together and everything, but he would really like him to be there to help.

Steve had agreed, of course. He even asked Sam to give him a hand. Sam had politely refused, but let Steve use his truck. Steve didn’t remember the excuse that Sam came up with, but it was something ridiculous. But he was thankful for the vehicle.

Once they reached the top, Bucky stopped and turned around.

“Let me go in first, and then I will come and get you when I’m ready.” Steve nodded, taking a step back as Bucky knocked on the door before stepping inside. Steve turned around and looked out in the parking lot. He was thankful for the time alone. He didn’t think he was ready to see Connie yet.

Steve was positive that she didn’t want to see him. She probably didn’t even know that he was coming today. That should be a pleasant surprise. She already hated him before everything happened, so now, she probably hated him a million times more.

He took a deep breath and leaned against the railing. Why was he here again?

So much had happened in the past few weeks. It all seemed so unreal now. How was it that last month Bucky was planning to get married and now, now he was spending any available time he could with Steve, as a single man.

It was just crazy.

Steve and Bucky had been hanging out more, more than what was probably appropriate, especially since Steve was trying to give Bucky some space. But Steve had his reasons. He wouldn’t deny that he was trying to make sure Bucky wasn’t sleeping on that horrible couch in his office anymore. Steve was always insisting that Bucky stay over completely disregarding Sam’s judging stares. Steve had even talked with Natasha, to try and get her to help him out, because really, it wasn’t healthy for Bucky to be living at the clinic.  

It really didn’t take long for Bucky to catch on, but he would never turn down spending time with Steve.

Bucky didn’t seem as clingy as he had been before, at least that Steve had noticed. But maybe he had gotten used to it now. Everything seemed so natural when he was around Bucky. It was like it was meant to be.

Steve had gotten together with Emma and officially ended things. She wasn’t really surprised or upset, but Steve still felt like an asshole. This was the second time he had done this, first with Chase and now with Emma.

It made Steve feel a little bit self conscious about being with someone.  How would it be when he was with Bucky? Bucky has always been around while he had been with both Chase and Emma. Things ended between them because of Bucky.

Would Steve be good enough for Bucky?

Both of them have been through so much. Steve loved Bucky so much and he didn’t want to fuck this up. He didn’t know what he would do if he lost Bucky forever. He was close once and he never wants to experience that again.

Steve was thrown out of his thoughts by Bucky opening the door.

“Steve, come on.” Steve turned around slowly and stepped inside, taking one last deep breath before entering the danger zone.

The apartment looked like a completely different place. It didn’t feel like an apartment anymore. There were boxes everywhere and some furniture pushed off in the corner of the living room. It seemed unreal that just a few weeks ago, this had been a shared space between Connie and Bucky.

Their home. God this was going to be awkward.

Steve stepped inside fully, shutting the door behind him. Bucky was standing in the kitchen with Connie. Connie didn’t look too pleased. She looked downright pissed.

“I have a few things to pack up and then we can get to moving the big shit.” Bucky replied, heading back toward the bedroom. Once the door shut Steve could feel a tension rise in the room and he really didn’t want to be alone with Connie right now.

Why had he agreed to this again?

Right, he was in love with Bucky.

“Well Steve, looks like you got exactly what you wanted.” Steve closed his eyes at the harshness of Connie’s tone. He had this coming. He knew he did. But still. It didn’t mean he was anywhere near ready for it.

“Connie…”

“You know, I’ve always seen it.” Steve stepped forward. He could tell that Connie needed to get things off her chest, so Steve might as well let her have it. Get everything out in the open. “Ever since you walked over and sat down across from us on that couch in the club, I knew it.”

“Connie…” Connie interrupted him again with a laugh.

“God, you were all he could talk about for days. Weeks even. It was always Steve this, Steve that. It was so annoying. You should have seen his face when you were dating Chase. He would come back and be all pissed off and I would be the nice girlfriend and ask him what’s wrong and he would just hiss out ‘Steve’ and ignore me for the rest of the night. Every. Single. Time.”

“I’m sorry.”

“It got even worse when you were dating Emma. Tell me, does she know about you and him now?”

“I called things off with her.”

“Of course you did. Now that your man was available.”

“Look.” Steve took a step forward, making sure to keep his voice down. “I never intended for any of this to happen. Yes I have feelings for Bucky, but Bucky made it abundantly clear to me that he loved you. After everyone kept telling him to leave you, I told him that he should stay with you. I did that. I have tried to move on, but he is always there. I can’t fight this anymore.”

“He told me what you did, y’know.”

“What?”

“I don’t think he remembers it because he was completely out of his mind at the moment, but he told me about that little trip you two took.” Steve could see the pure hatred in her eyes and Jesus, why was he still here again?

Maybe Bucky could use some help…

“Look…”

“You tried to steal him from me!” She shouted.

“Look how well that turned out for me.” Steve hissed out. He was trying his best to remain calm but it was hard. He was usually more composed than this, but throwing his one mistake at him again and again. It was bound to piss him off. “He made me feel like I was the dirt under his feet after and went out and proposed to you.” Connie just rolled her eyes.

“He may have done that, but he moped around for weeks after that. I knew something was wrong, he would never tell me. No matter how much I asked. But I knew something happened. How could I go from hearing about Steve Rogers every day to Bucky not mentioning him once?”

“What made you end things? What did it? You stuck with him this long. What caused it?”

“If you must know, it was the dinner party. There’s this look Bucky gets when he’s happy. Or well, when he’s in love. I know it because I have seen it pointed at me so many times. But I saw it that night. It wasn’t pointed at me this time. It was at you. You didn’t see it, of course. You never do. But then I went and looked at that picture you gave me. He was looking like that, at you, again. I realized then and there that what we had would never be the same.” Steve looked down. “Bucky and I were given a second chance and you ruined it. It’s all your fault and I will never forgive you for it.”

Steve felt like he had been punched in the gut.

“Connie I…”

“Steve.” Steve looked over and found Bucky standing in the middle of the living room. Steve was unsure of how much Bucky had heard of their conversation, but judging from his face, he had heard quite a bit, especially that last part.

“You officially have my blessing, Steve Rogers. He’s all yours.” She then shoved passed him. Steve didn’t even flinch when the front door slammed shut.

He looked up at Bucky and saw Bucky’s face fall even more.

“Steve…”

“She’s right though. Everything she said…”

“No. Steve, don’t listen to her. She isn’t…” Steve wanted to laugh. How could Bucky do this? He had accused Steve of doing exactly what Connie had just said all those months ago.

“That morning at the hotel? If you wouldn’t have reacted the way you did, what would have happened? I would have taken you from her and…”

“Steve, stop.” Steve looked up when Bucky was standing right in front of him. “Don’t blame yourself. This has nothing to do with you.”

“But it does. It has everything to do with me.”

“No. My relationship with Connie was going downhill for a while. I was just too blind to see it. I didn’t want to see it. She refused to see it. You helped me realize just how bad it was between Connie and myself.”

“Buck…”

“If I would have gone further with you in that hotel room, it would have been completely on me.”

“But I knew.” Steve whispered. “You were with Connie and I still did it. I started it and I took advantage of you and the situation…”

“Steve, stop it!” Bucky reached up and cupped Steve’s face with his hands. “I told you that I didn’t mean it when I said all those things. You are nothing, I repeat, nothing like Pierce. You never took advantage of me. Never. You understand me?” Steve took a deep breath, closing his eyes.

“Bucky…” Steve opened his eyes when Bucky rested his forehead against his. Bucky was smiling at up at him.

“Come on, we need to get moving. There is only so many glares I can take from Connie and I want to get out of here as soon as possible.”

“Okay.” Steve replied with a smile. He didn’t want to impose on Connie anymore than he already has.

* * *

Steve had never felt this tired before. He was positive that if he closed his eyes, he could probably fall asleep standing up. Better not tempt it.

Steve let out a loud sigh as he crashed down on Bucky’s couch. It felt amazing to actually sit down.

He was exhausted.

Then again, he had just moved up a bed, a couch, two chairs, a few tables, plus what felt like a million boxes. He was definitely going to give Sam some shit about this. It would have been so much easier if he would have just sucked it up and joined them.

Bucky had to give up on doing some heavy lifting after the first hour. His arm was started to really hurt him so Steve let him rest and he was able to get most of the other boxes while Bucky rested.

Still, they had moved all the furniture and boxes from Connie’s apartment, into the truck, and then out of the truck and into the new apartment.

It was almost five now. Jesus, Steve’s arms were going to be killing him tomorrow. He most likely wouldn’t be able to work on anything tomorrow, that’s for sure.

And they were still planning on seeing Cat on a Hot Tin Roof at eight tonight. Steve would be surprised if he stayed awake for that long. He wanted nothing more than to sleep right now. He could sleep, really, all he had to do is just close his eyes-.

“No sleeping.” Bucky said, kicking at Steve’s feet as he crashed down next to him on the couch. Or well, on top of him. Bucky sat down sideways and rested his head on Steve’s lap.

“I don’t think you understand how tired I am, Buck.”

“Oh I do ‘cause I’m just that tired, Stevie.” Steve laughed, his hands moving towards Bucky’s hair. He hadn’t even realized how long Bucky’s hair was getting. Bucky’s eyes closed as Steve’s fingers ran along his scalp. “Mmm feels nice.” Bucky whispered.

“You’re like a cat.”

“Nothing wrong with that. Connie always hated my long hair.”

“Hair is just an accessory. Shouldn’t matter what it looks like.”

“Yeah, you know, I cut my hair after that morning in the hotel just to spite you.”

“I figured. It worked. Pissed me right the hell off.” Bucky laughed, opening his eyes to smile up at Steve.

“You’re amazing, you know that.”

“I tell myself that every morning, actually. Great self esteem booster.”

“Punk.” Bucky reached up, smacking Steve on the side of the head. Steve just laughed, leaning back against the couch, closing his eyes again. “I said no sleeping!” Bucky said, reaching over to pinch Steve in the arm.

“I’m sleepy.”

“We have a movie to see tonight. Remember? So no sleeping.”

“If we’re still seeing that movie, we might want to get our asses up and ready to go.” Bucky raised in eyebrow, giving him a confused look.

“Why?”

“Well, we smell like shit Bucky. I don’t think the other patrons in the movie theater would appreciate it very much.” Bucky just laughed, rolling over onto the floor. His prosthetic hand reached up and gripped Steve on the knee, helping him pull himself up.

“Very true. Although I think it gives us character.” Steve just rolled his eyes and pulled himself up.

“Well, by all means, stay stinky, but don’t be too offended if I choose to sit on the opposite side of the room of you.” Bucky feigns hurt.

“Steve, you wound me.”

“Pick me up in an a few hours?” Steve replied, making his way over to the counter, picking up the keys to Sam’s truck.  Bucky smiled.

“Make sure you look your best tonight, Stevie.” Bucky replied, leaning against the counter, trying his best to look like God’s gift. Steve hated to admit it, but it worked.

“Don’t I always?”

“No need to be a smartass Steve.” Bucky turned around, slowly removing his shirt along the way. Steve took a deep breath and walked out.  It took every ounce of strength he had to not run back in there and tackle Bucky.

Later. All in good time.

* * *

Steve finished up the last button on his shirt, making sure that everything was in place. You wouldn’t believe how difficult it was to button up a shirt sometimes. Steve was always mismatching his buttons. He took a deep breath and once last glance in the mirror before making his way out to the living room, tucking in his shirt as he went. Sam was playing video games while Peggy watched.

“How do I look?” Steve asked, grabbing both of their attention. Sam just shrugged as Peggy smiled.

“Oh Steve, you look so handsome.” She stood up and made her way over to him, heels clicking against the floor. “Doctor Barnes is a very lucky man.” Steve smiled but it soon fades as he remembered the events of the afternoon. “What’s wrong?”

“Do you think this is right?”

“What do you mean?”

“Me and Bucky. I mean, should I be doing this?”

“You have been trying to get in his pants for six months and now that you actually have the opportunity to do so, you’re getting cold feet?” Sam replied pausing his game as he turned his full attention to the two of them. Peggy just rolled her eyes and turned her attention back to Steve.

“What’s wrong Steve?”

“Nothing, just…earlier today, while getting Bucky’s things at the apartment, Connie was there.”

“Oh boy.” Sam walked passed them, making his way to the kitchen.

“What did she do?”

“Nothing really, just said some things, but I feel like she has a point. I took Bucky away from her. I fucked up both relationships I did have, all because of my feelings for Bucky.”

“Steve, listen…”

“What if I mess things up with Bucky? What if I really am just a horrible piece of-“

“Steve.” Peggy reached up and cupped his face in her hands, bringing him down to her level. “Look at me.” Steve raised his eyes so that he was looking right at her. “You did not take Bucky away from Connie. Bucky fell for you on his own accord. You didn’t do anything to make that happen. You can’t make someone love you.”

“But…”

“Steve, just shut up and listen to her.” Sam said, walking over to them.

“Second, Chase and Emma both understood what was going on. They don’t hate you for it. You can’t help who you love. You tried to move on, you tried and well, darling, maybe some things are just meant to be.”

“She’s right you know.” Steve looked over at Sam. “I may not be the biggest fan of Barnes, especially after all the real shitty things he did to you. But, you have done some real shitty things too.”

“Sam…”

“But, I’ve seen how happy Bucky can be when he is around you.  And god damn Steve, you shine up like the sun when you are around him. I don’t think I have ever seen two more perfect people for each other, besides Clint and Natasha, but they are on a completely different level.”

“So, you guys are okay with it? If I were to pursue a relationship with Bucky, you guys would support me on it?”

“What does it matter what we think?” Sam replied, making his way back to the couch.

“Are you happy Steve?” Peggy grabbed a hold of his hand, giving him her best smile.

“I am.”

“Then that’s all that matters, sweetie.” Steve smiled as he leaned forward, resting his forehead against Peggy’s.

“I love you, you know that.”

“I know. But don’t let Bucky hear that.”

“Don’t let me hear what?” Steve turned around quickly and found Bucky standing in the doorway. “I hope I’m not interrupting anything.” He replied, stepping inside. “I texted you that I was on my way but you didn’t answer. So I talked with Wilson and he said I could just come on in when I got here so…”

“It’s alright Buck.” Steve smiled. Steve got the chance to finally take in Bucky and seriously, Steve would never get over just how attractive Bucky was. He was wearing a dark blue button up shirt with dark grey slacks that hugged his ass like no one’s business. His hair was pulled back and Steve hadn’t even realized that he was staring until Sam kicked at his leg. “You look great Bucky.” Steve mumbled out. He heard Sam snigger behind him.

“You too Steve.” Bucky smiled up at him and Steve felt his heart flip over backwards. After all this time, Bucky still knew how to make Steve feel like some horny teenager.

Bucky seemed to have always had this effect on him, but now, now Steve knows that all of this was for him. He dressed up because he wanted to impress Steve and Steve alone.

“Well, you ready?” Steve said, clapping his hands together, clearing away any inappropriate thoughts about Bucky that was clinging around in his mind. Bucky nodded, grinning over at Steve.

“Have fun you two.” Peggy said, giving Steve a little slap on the ass as he made his way over to Bucky.

“And I won’t wait up!” Sam shouted. Steve just rolled his eyes as he pushed Bucky out of the apartment as quickly as possible.

* * *

The theater was actually more packed than Steve had been expecting. He was always surprised to see how many people actually enjoy older movies. Steve could always watch them with Peggy, but Sam, it was always a bit harder to get him to watch him. But here, there were a bunch of different age groups. Older couple and younger couples, friends of all ages. It was a nice change.

Bucky walked up to the window and handed the man working their tickets. Steve just examined the theater. He had never actually been to this one before. He had always walked by and driven by it on occasion, but he never found the time to actually go inside. He had heard that it was quite the sight.

“Steve? You ready?” Steve looked over as Bucky scooted in closer to him.

“Yeah, I’m ready.” Bucky just smiled as he rocked into Steve’s shoulder, pushing him towards the door.

“Then lead the way blue eyes.” Steve just smiled as he walked on inside.

The inside was absolutely gorgeous. Steve wanted to stop and look at every small detail. It reminded Steve of something he had seen in a movie or something. Everything was so ornate and delicate. He could spend hours in here, studying each little detail. He was sure that everything meant something.

Steve itched for his sketchbook. He could get some great practice with these designs. Everywhere you turned there was something different. Something new.

“This is amazing, Buck.” Steve looked over and found Bucky smiling at him.

“I knew you would like it.” Steve just smiled, reaching over to grab Bucky’s hand, but right when he was about to grab it, Bucky turned around. “Come on, we want to get a good seat.”

Oh.

Okay.

Steve followed Bucky into the actual theater. There were quite a few people already there. Steve noticed that they were mostly older couples, but there were a few youngins around.

Wait. _Youngins_?

Jesus, now he sounds like a 90 year old man.

“Come on Steve!” Steve glanced up to see Bucky heading towards the back of the theater. He sat down with a smile, motioning for Steve to sit down next to him. Steve just smiled as he sat down, looking around. He was making things awkward again. Get it together Steve. “Wait here, I’m gonna go get snacks.” Bucky was then up and out of the theater before Steve could even question it.

Bucky was acting weird. Or maybe Steve was acting weird?

He had seemed fine before, but now, now he seemed kind of nervous? Was that even the right word? Steve was nervous too, but-

Maybe he was over thinking things. Steve was known to this. He did it all the time. Steve needed to stop over-thinking things.  They were just going to be watching a movie. Steve was just seeing things. That’s it.

Bucky came back five minutes later holding a big tub of popcorn and a large soda.

“Figured we could share?”

“Sure.” Steve grabbed the soda from him so Bucky could sit down without spilling everything.  Wouldn’t that be a disaster?

“You ready for this?”

“Yeah. You can’t really go wrong with Paul Newman and Elizabeth Taylor.” God Steve was really making this awkward. Why was he like this?

He could do this. He could. It was nothing new.

“Yeah.” Bucky curled down in his seat as the lights began to flicker. “Show time.”

* * *

Steve didn’t know why he thought Bucky was acting weird, because once the movie started it was like nothing had even happened. Bucky was leaning in closer to Steve as they shared the popcorn.

Their hands bumping into each other every so often. Steve would just look at Bucky and smile. It was near the middle of the movie when Steve decided to try his luck again with the hand holding. He reached over and placed his hand lightly on top of Bucky’s right flesh hand.

Bucky didn’t look at him, keeping his attention on the screen as he turned his hand over, interlocking their fingers. Steve felt like he was smiling like an idiot.

Here he was, watching a movie with Bucky, on a date with Bucky! Now they were holding hands! God, Steve felt like a middle school boy right now. He was getting excited over holding Bucky’s hand.

Whatever. It was something. It may not be much, but it was something. Steve wasn’t going to complain.

He looked over at Bucky again and found that Bucky was actually looking at him this time. Steve squeezed his hand a bit tighter as he smiled back. Bucky smiled back, leaning over to rest his head against Steve’s shoulder.

Yeah…he could definitely get used to this.

* * *

When the movie was over, Steve stood up first, stretching a bit. As he glanced down, he noticed that Bucky was watching him very carefully. He smiled down at him.

“Yes?” Bucky looked up at him and he looked nothing but predatory. He stood up as well, moving in on Steve’s personal space. Steve may have stopped breathing when Bucky’s prosthetic brushed against his stomach.

“You should stop giving everyone a show, you little sleaze.” Steve laughed, glancing around.

“Who am I giving a show to? There’s no one left.” Bucky pulled down Steve’s shirt, shoving him back a bit.

“Let’s go punk.”

Steve just smirked as he made his way out of the theater.

“You know, they had to tone down the movie?”

“What do you mean?”

“Well, apparently in the play, there were hints of homosexuality with Brick, but they had to tone it down since it was the 50s and they had to comply with the codes at the time.”

“Oh really?”

“Yeah. Apparently Paul Newman was pissed when he found out. He had signed on to do the movie thinking they would be going along with the play.”

“You can still see it though. Like, they may not come right out and say it, but it’s there, if you look hard enough.”

“That’s how I see it. And really, that is what makes the movie so good. I mean the cast is amazing as well. It sucks they turned away from the play, but the movie is still good as well.”

“Yeah.” The cold night hair hit Steve’s face as they walked outside. “I’m glad you came with me tonight.” Steve looked at him and smiled.

“Me too.” Steve reached down again, grabbing Bucky’s hand with his his.

Today had been a very eventful day what with helping Bucky move and then the horrible encounter with Connie, and now this. It was crazy to think that all of this had happened under 24 hours.

Amazing.

* * *

Bucky pulled up to Steve’s apartment and parked his truck in the parking lot, turning off the engine.

Now comes to awkwardness. Again.

Haven’t they been awkward enough today?

“I really had a great time with you today.” Bucky was messing with his fingers, meaning that he was nervous too. Steve was glad that he wasn’t the only one.

“Me too. I really do enjoy spending time with you. Always have.”

“Listen Steve, I’ve been thinking.”

“Oh really?” Bucky laughed, reaching over to shove Steve.

“Shut it.”

“I’m sorry, please continue.” Steve unbuckled his seatbelt and turned to face Bucky more, getting himself into a more comfortable position.

“You told me that I need time to myself. To think things through. To enjoy being single and whatnot.”

“I did.”

“And I have. I know you may have been wanting me to take longer, but Steve, I have been fighting this for what seems like forever. For once I am actually okay with this. I…sure it will be a lot to get used to, but I want to start this new life, this new adventure, with you.” Bucky looked over at him then, giving Steve his little sheepish smile that Steve had grown to love.

Steve was tired of waiting too. Sam and Peggy seemed to be okay with him being with Bucky, and Steve was sure as hell okay with it. Why wait any longer?

Steve scooted over, making sure that his movements were slow, just in case Bucky wasn’t ready. Bucky didn’t seem to be moving away, in fact, Steve was sure that Bucky may have even moved in closer as well.

Steve just smiled, reaching up to cup Bucky’s face with his hands.

“I’m gonna kiss you now, is that alright?” Might as well ask first. Their last few kisses haven’t exactly started in the best of ways. Bucky didn’t say anything, just nodded and even licked his lips.

Steve moved in closer and finally closed the distance between them.

Bucky was quick to respond. It started off simple, just a quick glide of lips against lips. Bucky moved in closer, trying to pull Steve in. Steve just smiled against Bucky’s lips, pulling away.

“Bu-“

Bucky didn’t let him finish, pulling him back in for another kiss. Bucky didn’t take much time in taking things further. He bit at Steve’s lip, causing him to gasp and allowing him access into Steve’s mouth.

Steve may have let a somewhat embarrassing groan in the process. But he was sure Bucky was in no position to judge him for it.

This kiss was different than the previous ones they had shared. It wasn’t a drunken kiss or a sleepy kiss. This was an actual kiss. One that meant something. Both knew what their feelings were for each other and the only way that Steve could describe it was perfect.

Steve’s senses were going into over drive. His hands had moved to Bucky’s hair, releasing it from the pony tail. Steve would never get over how soft Bucky’s hair was. He wanted to run his fingers through it all the time. He was positive Bucky wouldn’t object to that either, considering the moan that escaped his lips.

Steve could taste the butter and salt from the popcorn on Bucky’s lips, which made him even hungrier for Bucky.

Bucky pulled away then, using his hand to push Steve’s face up, giving him access to his neck. Steve’s eyes rolled in the back of his head as Bucky planted kisses along his neck, pushing Steve back against the seat.

“Buck…”

“Hmmm…”Bucky’s hands were traveling and Steve couldn’t hold the little squeak as his hands rubbed against his dick. Shit fuck.

“I don’t think the truck is the best place for this.” Steve felt Bucky smile against his neck.

“Yeah, but Sam is up there so here is the very best option.” Steve laughed, pushing Bucky away.

“You are more than welcome to come up and crash with me. Sam is probably in his room by now anyways. He wouldn’t even notice that you were there.” Bucky pulled away with a sigh.

“You’re killing the mood here, Stevie.”

“Sorry.” Steve reached over and tucked a piece of hair behind Bucky’s ear. It seems in his hand roaming he made Bucky’s hair a complete mess. Oh well. It looked good like this. Bucky just smiled, moving back towards his side of the truck.

“It’s probably good we stopped anyways. Don’t want to get too carried away, first date and all.” Steve smiled. Bucky was really quite adorable when he was nervous.

“Yeah.” Steve whispered.

“Um, Steve?”

“Yeah?”

“I want to do this right.”

“What do you mean?”

“I want to take you out, on a real date.”

“Isn’t that what this was?” Steve leaned back in his seat, looking back at Bucky.

“No. I mean, yeah, it sorta was a date. But, like, even if I was still with Connie, I would have taken you tonight, so I don’t really see it as an official date.”

“Oh, so you want an official date?”

“Yes. I want to take you out to dinner, to some place fancy. Give you all the attention you deserve. I just, you know, I want to do this right with you.” Steve smiled and reached over and grabbed Bucky’s hand.

“I would like that very much.” Steve pulled his hand up and kissed the top.

“Good.”

“How about next Friday?”

“It’s a date.” Steve just smiled as he leaned over and pressed one last quick kiss to Bucky’s lips.

“Goodnight Buck.”

“Night Steve.” Steve leaned in for another kiss before getting out of the truck. He wanted nothing more than to stay in there with Bucky, but he knew that things could develop quickly and well, he needed to take things slow. Ease into it.

Bucky deserved that much.

He glanced back at Bucky one last time before heading inside. The smile on his face never leaving, not even when he went to sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter will be what Bucky calls, the 'official' first date. :)
> 
> Let me know what you guys think!


	34. (266.)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lookie lookie! Another chapter! ;)
> 
> I'm getting my computer looked at tomorrow so I don't know how long I won't have it. Who knows? I might get a replacement one until mine is fixed, but I wanted to get the next chapter up before all of that, so...here it is!
> 
> Thanks again to everyone who has read, commented, subscribed or left kudos on this story. I love reading your messages and knowing that you are still enjoying this story.
> 
> Like always, all mistakes are mine.

This was the third damn shirt Steve had put on and it still didn’t look right. He didn’t even know where Bucky was taking him. Every time Steve tried to ask, Bucky would just laugh and say that it was a surprise.

But now Steve didn’t really know how to dress. How was he supposed to know what to wear if he didn’t even know what kind of restaurant they were going to?

He took a deep breath and ripped the shirt off, throwing it on the bed with the others. He stormed over to his closet and pulled out the blue shirt he wore as a last resort to anything.

You could never go wrong with blue.

He was buttoning up the last button when Sam walked in.

“How ya doing buddy?” Steve just looked up at him and glared. Sam laughed, heading over to the bed. “It’s just a date, man.”

“I know that.” Steve huffed out, tucking in his shirt.  “But it’s with Bucky. I have only been waiting for this moment since I met the guy. I don’t want to mess it up.”

“But, I mean, this is like your second date, right? Doesn’t going to the movies count as the first one?”

“Not really. Bucky said he would have taken me anyways, even if he was still with Connie. So no, it doesn’t count.”

“Well, look. There is nothing to be nervous about. Bucky likes you. And to be honest, I’m sure he’s a nervous mess too. So don’t fret about it. You’ll be fine.”

“You think so?”

“You’ve had more action than I have in the past year, so yeah, I think you’ll be fine.” Steve just gave him a look, flipping him off before heading towards the bed to pick up his discarded shirts.

“I just, I really like Bucky, y’know. I don’t want to mess it up.”

“You won’t. Just be yourself. Be the Steve Bucky fell for. And everything will be just fine.”

“Okay.” Steve said, letting out a deep breath.

“Okay? Now, you look fine. You up for some Mario Kart before Barnes gets here?” Steve smiled.

“Sure. I have enough time to whoop your ass.”

“Oh, is that how it is now?”

“That’s how it is.” Steve replied, shoving pass him.

“You are such an ass sometimes.”

* * *

“BOOM! There it is baby! There it fuckin’ is!” Steve just groaned as he fell back into the couch. “I’m sorry, weren’t you supposed to be whooping my ass?” Steve flipped him the bird before standing up off the couch.

“I was distracted…”

“Bullshit. I just kicked your ass five times. Don’t tell me you were distracted.”

“I-“ Steve was interrupted by a soft knocking on the door.

“There’s your man. Best go answer it.” Steve nodded, taking a deep breath as he made his way to the door. He stopped right at the door and straightened up his shirt. He hoped it hadn’t gotten too wrinkled while he was sitting on the couch.

Okay. Here goes nothing.

He could do this.

It was just Bucky. Just Bucky. He had been out with Bucky countless times. This would be no different. Right?

Right.

He took another long breath and opened the door.

Shit why did Steve think he could ever handle this?

Bucky was standing in his doorway, dressed in the finest suit Steve had ever seen. _Shit._ He was way too underdressed for tonight.

“Steve.” Bucky said with that great smile of his. Steve felt his knees go a little weak.

“Bucky.” Steve replied, a little quieter than he intended to. “You look great.”

Great was quite the understatement.

He looked handsome as hell. His pants, those goddamn pants that fit him like a dream. Bucky had to know what those pants did to Steve.

He just had to. There was really no other logical explanation for them.

He topped the pants off with a nice plain white button up and a black tailored jacket. His hair was pulled back in some kind of messy ‘man bun’. Sam’s term for it, not Steve’s.

“I feel underdressed.” Steve blurted out. Bucky just laughed.

“You look fine. I think I’m actually over dressed, but I wanted to look nice…for you.” Bucky whispered the last part and Steve may have even spotted a blush on his cheeks.

“Are you two just gonna stand there gawking at each other in my doorway or what?”

“Okay. Okay. We’re going. See you later Sam!” Steve shouted as he stepped out the door. Bucky just looked up at him and smiled.

“You look great Steve. That blue shirt does wonders for your eyes.”

“Thanks Buck.”

“Okay, so, we better get going. Don’t want to be late for our reservations.”

“Where are we going?”

“It’s a surprise.”

* * *

The restaurant Bucky decided Steve had never even heard of. Couldn’t even pronounce the name if he tried.

The line into the restaurant was out the door and Steve thought he heard the waiting time started at 3 hours. Three hour wait?

It was ridiculous.

“Bucky…”

“Relax, I got reservations.”

“When? I feel like you would have to reserve a year in advance to even have them think about letting you in.” Bucky just laughed as he forced his way through the crowd and up to the front door.

“I may have asked in a favor.”

“A favor?” What king of favor got you into this place?

“Tony Stark owns the restaurant. I told him I would let him try some new things on my prosthetic if he got me a reservation here.” Well that made sense.

Steve remembered Peggy mentioning something about Tony buying his father’s restaurant or something like that. He didn’t really care all that much about it at the moment so he pushed it away from his thoughts.

“Bucky…”

“Don’t worry about it. It’s really no big deal.” Bucky stepped up to the front and smiled at the hostess.

“Table for two under Barnes.” She looked down at her little table and smiled.

“Ah, yes, Mr. Stark has a special spot picked out for you.” Steve didn’t like the sound of that. He was sure Tony wouldn’t try anything weird here, but you never know.

As they made their way across the restaurant, Steve couldn’t help but feel like he was way too underdressed for a place like this. If Bucky would have told him before that they were going to the fanciest restaurant in the whole United States, Steve would have put on a god damn suit.

How was Bucky going to afford this?

“Steve, you’re over-thinking things.” Bucky whispered next to him. Shit. Had he said that last bit out loud?

“This is just…a lot.” Steve whispered as the hostess stopped at a booth in a secluded corner. The corner was dark, but there was a group of three candles making up an elegant centerpiece on the table.

Romantic. Steve though, looking over at Bucky. Bucky just shrugged.

“Do you want to leave? If you’re uncomfortable we can go to Marty’s.”

“No. No, it’s fine.” Steve sat down in the booth as the waitress laid out the menus. Bucky sat down across from him, smile never leaving his face. Steve took the chance to glance around at the décor of the restaurant.

It was weird how nice this looked. Compared to how ugly Stark Tower looked, this place was actually really elegant and romantic. Must be Pepper’s side of things. But the building was very old and very ornate.

It reminded Steve of the movie theater Bucky had taken him to last week. It was crazy to think that these beautiful buildings have existed all this time and Steve was just now discovering them.

“Can I get you two something to drink?” The hostess asked with her plastered on smile.

“Water.” Steve responded automatically.

“Water for me as well.” Bucky said as he opened his menu. “Do you have a drink menu?”

“We do. Let me go and grab that for you.”

“Bucky, how are we going to afford drinks here? Their water probably costs 15 dollars or something.”

“Steve, I said don’t worry about it. I am taking you out and that is that. I knew how expensive this place was before I picked it.”

“But…”

“Steve. I wanted to do this. I could have easily taken you to Marty’s, but I wanted to do this. I wanted to take you out to someplace nice, like you deserve.”

“But why Stark’s restaurant?” Bucky laughed, leaning back in the booth. He looked like a god damn dream.

If Steve had his sketchbook he would sketch him right now. He knew he said it a lot, and really, he had a whole sketchbook dedicated to Bucky back at the apartment.

“I didn’t want to originally. But I asked for Natasha’s opinion on where I should take you and she suggested this place.”

“Really?”

“Yeah. Apparently she and Clint come here quite a bit. Discounted of course, for working for Tony, but she said the food is amazing. I wanted to give it a try so I called him up and that was that.” Steve smiled as he looked down at the menu.

“Did she make any suggestions on what to get?”

“Steak. Any type of steak. Stark gets the best meat around.”

“Well then.” Steve said as he flipped over to the meat section of the menu. There was no use of looking through the other ten pages of the menu. If he did that, then he would be here for hours trying to decide on what to get.

The hostess came back with their water and the drink menu, but also with a bottle of wine.

“We didn’t order anything.” Bucky said. The hostess just smiled.

“A gift from Mr. Stark.” She said with a big smile, setting it down on the table along with two glasses.

“Is he here?” Steve asked, nervously looking around. He knew Tony. He would come over here and make some big spectacle or something if he was here. More attention was not something Steve wanted at the moment.

He was pretty content with their little secluded corner of the restaurant.

“No, but he left specific instructions to make sure you two have the best night here.” Steve didn’t know what to think of this. He looked over at Bucky and saw that he was blushing again.

Bucky was so adorable when he nervous.

“Thank you so much.” Bucky gushed as the woman gave them one last smile before walking off.

“That was awfully nice of Tony.” Steve said, reaching over to look at the bottle. Knowing Tony it was probably some vintage wine. Steve didn’t even want to think about how expensive it would have been to anyone else.  “I wonder what kind of things he wants to do to your prosthetic if he is doing all of this.”

“Who knows? But I think it will be worth it. I wouldn’t have asked for the favor if I didn’t trust Stark.” Bucky took the bottle from Steve and popped the cork out, pouring them each a glass.

“I really appreciate all of this Bucky. It’s- it’s really amazing.” Steve had never been somewhere as nice as this. He had some money saved up from all his commissions and the book sales with Peter, but he would never spend this much money at a restaurant. He took Chase and Emma out when he could. Brock never took him to places like this. Bucky smiled up at him and Steve reached over, placing his hand on top of his. “I’m really glad we decided to give this a shot.”

“Me too.”

“Hello there.” A new voice sounded beside them. Bucky instantly tensed and pulled his hand away quickly. Steve looked over and saw a young man standing by the table. He smiled big and greeted them properly. “My name is Todd and I will be your waiter this evening. How is the wine?”

“Excellent.” Steve replied after Bucky refused to look up at their waiter and respond.

“Do you have any questions about the menu? Or are you ready to order?”

“I’m ready. Are you ready Buck?” Bucky just nodded.

What was wrong with him? He was fine just a few moments ago.

Bucky ordered his meal quickly, Steve followed, smiling up at the waiter as he took their menus. Once the waiter was out of hearing range Steve’ smile fell as he looked over at Bucky.

Bucky looked like he was pouting.

“What’s wrong?”

“Nothing.”

“That’s bullshit. Buck, you were fine moments ago and then the waiter comes over and you’re like a completely different person. What’s going on?” Bucky let out a loud sigh as he ran his hands over his face. He looked absolutely miserable.

Hopefully Steve hadn’t overstepped any boundaries here.

“It’s not you, it’s just…” Bucky let out another deep breath. “This is all so new to me. I see you and I get all happy and it’s like I get lost in this feeling. But when I was with Pierce, he did things when we were in public, made me feel bad about myself. It’s just- it’s still new, being with you. I’m sorry.” He reached over, with his left hand, Steve noticed, and grabbed his hand. “I’m not used to other people seeing me like this yet.”

“It’s alright Buck, I’ll tone it down on the PDA from now on.”

“I shouldn’t get like this just from fuckin’ hand holding.”

“Hey, don’t beat yourself over it. It’s fine, okay. I want you to be able to talk to me about this.”

“You think I will be worth all of this?”

“Of course you are Buck. Never ever doubt that!” Bucky smiled over at him.

“Thanks Steve, you really are something else, you know that.” Steve smiled and leaned back.

“Well, I guess I can’t really talk you know, my last two relationships ended because I was head over heels for someone else.”

“I guess we have that in common. Strange huh?” Steve laughed as Bucky winked at him.

“You’re so full of shit.

“Whatever, you love me anyways.” Bucky responded through a laugh.

“Well, you’re not wrong.” Bucky’ eyes widened.

“You love me?”

“I’ve always loved you Buck, that hasn’t changed.” Bucky squeezed Steve’s hand.

“That means a lot to me Steve, it really does.” Steve just smiled as the waiter came over with their food. Bucky didn’t tense up this time, in fact he squeezed Steve’s hand one last time before leaning back to give their waiter some room.

“That was quick.” The waiter laughed as he set their plates in front of them.

“Mr. Stark made sure you guys were top priority tonight.” Steve just raised his eyebrows in Bucky’s direction as Bucky just laughed.

* * *

Bucky wouldn’t let Steve help out with the bill. Steve asked if he could do the tip at least, but Bucky wouldn’t even let him see the bill, saying it was a date and Bucky was taking care of anything.

Steve didn’t complain anymore after that.

He had other things to worry about, like what came next.

This was the part that Steve was unsure about. He was okay with dinner and everything, but what happened after? Was Bucky just going to drop him off at his apartment and that was that?

Steve had had so many different experiences with his past relationships, he didn’t know what to go on.

Was there some sort of waiting period that Steve would have to wait to talk to him again?

If he called him the next day, would Bucky like that? Did that matter since they were friends already?

Steve shook those thoughts from his mind when Bucky grabbed his hand, walking with him as they exited the restaurant.

He would just have to let things go and see what happens. That’s how things always were with Bucky. He just let it go. If he planned things out too much, that’s when it all went to shit.

Steve was about to suggest that they catch a movie or something when his phone went off. He looked down and saw that it was a text from Sam.

_Hey buddy, hope your night is going well. BUT I would really appreciate if you stayed away from the apartment for tonight. Maybe you can crash with Barnes. ;)_

Steve smiled as he sent off a reply to Sam.

“What’s up?” Bucky asked as they approached his truck.

“It’s Sam. He wants me to stay away from the apartment tonight. Probably has some girl over.”

“I see. Well, you can always crash with me?”

“Are you sure? I can always crash with Peggy…”

“Now, what kind of guy would I be if I let my date crash with another woman?” Steve laughed.

“Well if you’re offering, I guess I have no choice but to accept your kind offer.” Bucky smiled and leaned forward, pressing his lips gently against Steve’s.

“I’ll make it worth your while.” He whispered. Steve was sure his heart stopped beating for a quick second. He had never heard Bucky’s voice sound like that before.

“Will you?”

“I will.”

“Well then, why the hell are we still here?” Bucky smiled and kissed him one last time before opening the door to the truck.

Steve just smiled as he made his way to the other side.

Tonight was going to be an interesting night indeed.

* * *

Bucky’s apartment had changed quite a bit since Steve had been here just last week. Bucky now had everything organized the way he wanted it, and actually had things hanging up along the walls.

It was starting to look more and more like a home.

“It looks nice.” Steve said as Bucky closed the door behind him.

“Thanks. It’s nice have having Charles at the clinic now, gives me more free time to get shit done around here.”

“How is all that working out? Is Wade behaving himself?” Bucky just laughed as he walked into the kitchen.

“Charles is amazing. All the children love him. I think I mentioned before he is bringing in a lot more older patients, as in teenagers. So that’s nice. As for Wade, well, he’s Wade. He will never change, nor would I want him to. He makes every work day very interesting. Although, you know, Parker has been stopping by a lot lately.” Steve laughed.

“Of course he has. I don’t know why I thought they wouldn’t get along.” Steve hadn’t asked Peter about Wade any time he had talked with him. He figured what Peter did in his spare time was his business.

“Do you want anything to drink?” Steve looked over as Bucky looked over at him.

“Water.” Bucky just nodded as Steve made his way over to the couch. He couldn’t help but feel like things were going to get awkward. Steve would make it awkward. He knew he would. Maybe he should just let Bucky start things.

He didn’t want to push him into anything. He wanted Bucky to be comfortable in what he was going. Then again, they were alone here. Who knows what Bucky would want?

He seemed pretty content with taking things far in the truck after the movie the other night.

Bucky sat down next to him, handing him a glass of water.

“Thanks.” Steve took a quiet sip and god, this was going to get awkward. He could feel it. Here he was, sitting on Bucky’s couch, in a quiet apartment, sipping water. He glanced over at Bucky and found that he was just staring at his hands.

Okay, he needed to say something. Get things flowing. “So, what do-“

It seemed he didn’t need to make a move at all. Bucky made the move first.

Bucky lunged at him, crashing his lips to his in a rough kiss. Steve laughed against his lips, pushing Bucky away a bit.

“What?”

“Just, not so rough, we have all the time in the world and besides, I’m sure you want to be a bit more comfortable.” Bucky just smirked as he shoved Steve back against the couch.

“Sure, but-“ Bucky scooted off of Steve, kneeling down on the floor in between Steve’s legs. Steve felt the breath leave him for a few seconds.

Jesus.

Bucky hands traveled down Steve’s chest, and stopped right above his dick. Steve couldn’t breathe. This was really happening.

“Buck.” Steve gasped as Bucky moved his hand over his dick. Steve closed his eyes.

“Will you let me take care of you Steve?”

“God Buck, do whatever you want.” Steve whispered. Bucky just laughed as he unzipped his pants.

“So willing.” Bucky whispered as he pulled him out.

“Fuck!” Steve gasped as his head hit the back of the couch.

* * *

Steve couldn’t breathe. He wasn’t even sure if he could see at the moment. Everything was very bright and just…god, he couldn’t even think straight. Couldn’t even form words if he tried.

His mind was just blank.

“Steve?” Steve looked down as Bucky smiled up at him. “Did I make you stupid or something?” Steve just laughed.

“Possibly.”

“I’ll take that as a compliment.” Bucky stood up and kissed him again.

“It was meant as a compliment.” Steve stroked Bucky’s cheek as Bucky settled himself in Steve’s lap. Steve could feel Bucky hard against his lap.

“You up for more, or are you too tired?” Steve just smiled against Bucky’s lips.

“I can do this all day.” Bucky laughed this time, chuckling softly into Steve’s shoulder.

“You are so full of shit.”

“I just need to catch my breath.”

“Well, when you’re ready, I’ll be in the bedroom.” Bucky made his move to get up but Steve held him in place.

“What’s the hurry?”

“Nothing…I just…you don’t know how long I’ve wanted to do this.”

“Probably not as long as I have, I’m sure.”

“You got me there. I guess I want to make up for lost time.” Steve just smiled as he pulled Bucky back in for another kiss.

“Well then, what are we waiting for?” Bucky smiled and pulled himself off Steve’s lap. Steve glanced up at him and stopped. He had waited so long to see how Bucky would look like this, and now that he had, he never wanted to see him like anything else.

Bucky was absolute perfection.

“Steve?” Steve was shaken from his thoughts as Bucky looked at him from the hallway, shirt off and pants hanging loose around his hips. Steve hadn’t even seen him walk away. “You coming?” Steve nodded as he pulled himself up off the couch.

He walked over to Bucky, crowding in on his personal space. Bucky smiled up at him, placing his hands on Steve’s hips.

“What are we waiting for?” Steve whispered, leaning down so that he and Bucky’s faces were inches apart. Bucky smirked before a look that could only be described as predatory crossed over his face.

Bucky didn’t say anything as he pushed Steve back until he hit the bed.

“You ready?”

“Been ready for a while now Buck.” Steve replied as he layy back on the bed.

“No need to be a smartass.” Bucky replied, pulling Steve’s pants off, throwing them across the room before climbing onto the bed, leaning over him.

“Can’t help it, it’s my natural state.” Bucky just smiled as he leaned down and pressed a kiss to his lips. Steve felt like his body was melting against him.

The kisses they shared were just lazy. No real heat behind them yet. Steve was just enjoying being close with Bucky.

“I can’t believe it.” Bucky whispered against his lips, before moving along the plant kisses along his neck.

“Can’t believe what?”

“That this is happening. You don’t know how much I thought about having you in my bed and now that you’re actually in it, I don’t know what to do.”

“You could fuck me. That would be a good start.” Bucky laughed and Steve would never grow tired of making Bucky laugh. It was probably one of the greatest sounds Steve had ever heard.

For now. He was sure by the end of the night, there would be a million other sounds that he loved hearing Bucky make.

“You are such a little shit.” Bucky kissed him again as Steve wrapped his arms around him, bringing their bodies closer. Bucky ground his hips against Steve’s in a slow motion, causing Steve to gasp up into the kiss.

“You know, you could always make me shut up.” Steve mumbled into Bucky’s lips.

“I don’t think I would be doing my job correctly if you were silent the whole time.”

“You’re perfect, you know that?” Steve pulled away and placed both hands on either side of Bucky’s face. His hair was a mess. There were strands hanging down by his face and just, he looked like the picture of perfection.

He always did.

“I’m not.” Bucky replied as he bent down to nuzzle at Steve’s neck.

“Well you are in my eyes.” Bucky looked back at him and smiled.

“You’re perfect too, Steve. You don’t know just how perfect you really are.” Steve smiled and he knew this was a very important moment, but Bucky was literally sitting on top of him, half naked.

Now was not the time for romantic confessions.

That would come later.

“Great, now that we have that out of the way.” Steve took a hold of Bucky by the shoulders and flipped them over, grinding his body against Bucky’s, rubbing their dicks together again. Bucky let out the most amazing moan and Steve was definitely storing that one away for a later time. “Shall we get to it?”

“You are just full off it.” Steve didn’t respond as he ground his hips against Bucky’s again. Bucky just closed his eyes. He looked like he was in heaven down there.

“You know, if you keep talking, then nothing is gonna happen.” Bucky smiled, rolling them over again.

“Noted.” Steve just smiled as Bucky leaned down to kiss him again.

Steve was right.

He now knew there were about ten other sounds Bucky made that he would never ever get enough of.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know what you think!
> 
> I honestly can't right porn. I'm sorry guys. It's bad and just, yeah...
> 
> Maybe I will get the hang of it in later chapters perhaps.... ;)
> 
> Next chapter will be the morning after!


	35. (267.)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry guys, one of these days I will come out with a timely update.
> 
> Anways, as always, thanks to everyone for sticking with me throughout this story. Thanks for commenting, leaving kudos, bookmarking and subscribing to this story. It makes me happy and more motivated to finish this story. Love all you guys!

Steve woke up to the sun shining in on his face through the blinds. The smile unconsciously appeared on his face (although he could have gone with a little more sleep. He felt like he just went to sleep).

Last night had been amazing, probably one of the best nights of Steve’s life. The feeling of Bucky’s right arm wrapped over him brought a comfort to Steve that he didn’t really know he needed at the moment.

He and Bucky were officially together now. After so many months of wanting this, it finally happened.

He rolled over, smiling over at Bucky’s sleeping form. He would never get over how perfect Bucky looked when he was asleep. He knew that was weird because logically, no one ever looked good sleeping, but somehow, Bucky did. Then again, he looked perfect no matter what.

His hair was a mess, there was stubble on his chin, and a small hint of drool dripping over his lips. But he didn’t care. He loved him when he looked well put together and he loved him when he first woke up in the morning.

Steve had always imagined how things would be when he and Bucky were together, but it seems that it didn’t even compare to how it really was. Reality was so much better than anything his dreams would have come up with.

He wanted to stay in Bucky’s bed forever, but sadly, his body had other plans.

He lightly pulled Bucky’s hand off from his chest and placed it on the bed before getting up off the bed as quietly and lightly as possible. He looked back at the bed and noticed that Bucky didn’t even move. When Bucky was out, he was out for good it seems. His prosthetic was lying on the floor. Steve smiled to himself before bending over and picking it up, setting it on the Bucky’s nightstand so that nobody stepped on it (meaning Bucky, since it was right by his side of the bed).

Before they had crashed for the night (or morning,  Steve didn’t really look at the time), Bucky had taken his prosthetic off, saying it was easier to sleep sometimes with it off. And Steve, Steve had just smiled. Bucky usually never took his prosthetic off around anyone.

Bucky was very self conscious about it. So the fact that Bucky did it with such ease around Steve, it just made him smile. Bucky trusted him enough to be that carefree around him.

It was amazing.

Steve grabbed his boxers from the floor and slipped them on before heading to the bathroom. Bucky didn’t live with anyone, but Steve did not feel comfortable enough to just walk around his apartment naked.

You never know what could happen. The windows could be open and the neighbors might see him. He would feel really bad if he happened to cause some 90 year old lady to have a heart attack by walking in front of the window naked.

It was a good thing that Steve was a bit paranoid because once he stepped out the door, he came face to face with none other than Natasha.

“Well well.” Natasha whispered, raising that perfectly sculpted eyebrow of hers as she gave Steve a look over. Steve didn’t say anything. He just gave her a look before heading into the bathroom.

He would have made a comeback but he really had to piss.

Of course Natasha was here. Why wouldn’t she be? She was always around at times like this. He should just learn to expect her all the time, especially if he was actually at Bucky’s apartment.

After he finished with the bathroom, he walked out to find that Natasha wasn’t actually waiting for him outside the door like he thought she would be. She had made her way over to the couch. She was sitting down, looking through some book of Bucky’s. Steve couldn’t tell what it was from here. Her baby bump had really popped out, and she looked flawless, like always.

“What are you doing here?” Steve asked, making his way over to her. He glanced back, noticing that the bedroom door was still cracked open. Bucky was still passed out though. Give it time, he would wake up.

He tended to have Natasha radar. He would sense her eventually.

“I came to check up on James and see how the date went, but seeing as you are here and half naked, I assume everything went quite well.” She smiled up at him before Steve took a spot next to her. He couldn’t stop the stupid smile that appeared on his face.

“It was a really great night.”

“I would say more than great, judging by that grin on your face.” Natasha leaned over and nudged him a bit.

“It was nice. He took me to Tony’s restaurant which, it was amazing, but it was so expensive. I don’t know how much he spent on it but…”

“Steve, don’t worry about it.”

“But…” She just raised an eyebrow and Steve stopped that conversation immediately. “Okay, I just, I don’t think I would ever spend that much on so little of a portion of food.”

“Stop worrying about that. Did you forget that Bucky is a doctor?”

“That doesn’t mean he can just afford to throw away a hundred bucks on dinner for two!” Natasha just laughed as she slapped Steve on the leg.

“Well then next time you two go out, you can pick the restaurant and pay.”

“I will.” Natasha laughed again. He loved hearing her laugh. She could look so serious most of the time that it really was nice to see her like this. So carefree.

“You look really happy Steve.” Natasha said, reaching over to grab his hand. “It’s nice to see you be this happy.”

“I am happy. I know I can’t really say much, but I just…” He took a deep breath and leaned back against the couch.  “I know I should have given Bucky a little more time and everything, but being with him, it just seems so right. So why wait, right?”

“Steve, as long as you are happy, then that is all that matters. Screw what anyone else says. As long as you and Bucky are happy, what else do you need?” Steve smiled, squeezing Natasha’s hand.

“It would be nice to have my friends’ approval too.”

“Well you know you have my approval. Always have.” Steve just smiled as he looked down at their joined hands. “And I know Sam and Peggy are for it. Clint is too, if that helps.” Steve just laughed.

“Good.” Steve took a deep breath as he squeezed her hand again. “So, how is the baby?”

“Healthy and doing great. Clint thinks for sure that it’s going to be a boy, but I know better. This is a girl. I can feel it.” Steve smiled. “Oh, she’s awake. Here. Feel.” She pulled Steve’s hand over and placed it on her belly. Steve leaned forward, pressing down just a little bit as he felt the little kick. He looked up at Natasha and smiled.

“She’s a feisty little one.” Steve responded, moving his hand again, feeling another tiny kick.

“Of course she is, she’s mine.” She then turned to Steve, facing him fully. “So, how are your commissions going? Clint told me he sent someone your way.”

“Yeah. I’m working on Kate’s piece right now. She wants some big landscape canvas for her new house or something. It’s taken me a bit, but I’m almost done.”

“That’s great. And how are your illustrations with Peter going?”

“Good. Good. He’s working on something new now. He said he should be sending me a rough draft soon enough. Something about a man who can heal himself or something. Another superhero thing, but with a twist. Wade gave him the idea so who knows what that is going to be.”

“Well, that sounds very intriguing.”Natasha just smiled as she ran her fingers over the palm of Steve’s hand. She was about to say something else when they heard Bucky let out a loud groan.

“Jesus Nat, I said I would call you today.” Steve looked over and found Bucky standing in the hallway. He was rubbing his hand across his face before dragging it down and scratching at his chest.

“I know James,” She said, giving Bucky a stern look. “But I knew you would leave out important details so I had to come in person.” Bucky just rolled his eyes and walked into the bathroom. 

“How long did you know Bucky was in love with me?” Steve asked, resituating himself on the couch.

“Where on earth did this come from?”

“I’ve always been wondering, what with you trying to set me up with him every week. So I figured you must have known something that I didn’t.”

“Hmmm, let’s see. It was probably right around the time he figured it out. Possibly even before then. I knew you were exactly his type when I introduced you two at the club. Anyone would be better than that bitch Connie.” Steve just looked at her. He hated when people talked bad about her. Bucky really did like her. It wasn’t nice to speak ill of her, even if she had been horrible. “I know, I know, you liked her or whatever.”

“We had somewhat of an understanding. Not anymore, of course. She hates my guts now.” Natasha laughed at that.

“Of course she does. You stole her man right underneath her nose. Any woman would be mad about that. Can’t blame her there. But, to answer your question, Bucky told me he was developing feelings for you early on in your friendship. He wanted me to keep it a secret of course. He didn’t want anyone to know, of course. He was a little confused by his feelings and I wasn’t going to outright tell you, but I knew you had feelings for him so I thought I would help give you two a little push.”

“Yeah, and that worked out so well at first.”

“I know. I genuinely thought that the kiss at the hotel, not that I knew it would happen then and there, but I knew that one of you would do something sooner or later. I thought that when it did happen, that it would open his eyes and he would call things off with Connie. He did the complete opposite, the bastard.” Steve laughed at that. He didn’t know why he laughed though. That day didn’t bother him as much anymore, but he would never forget the way Bucky had looked at him afterwards. “I forgot how much of a dick Pierce had been and his effect on Bucky.”

“But things worked out for the best in the end.”

“Yes they did.” Steve and Natasha looked back over as Bucky emerged from the bathroom. “You know, this apartment isn’t that big. I could hear you two talking about me in there.”

“Good. You were a bastard that day. I’m pretty sure I told you that a million times while we were in the car.” Bucky just sighed as he walked over to them, squeezing in between Steve and Nat, which meant he basically plopped himself in Steve’s lap. His couch wasn’t that big.

“So, did you get all the important details from Steve here about our ‘coupling’ last night?” Natasha just laughed.

“Please, I know you too well James, I know exactly how you are in bed. I don’t need details on that particular aspect.”

“Please stop referencing that we have fucked in front of my new boyfriend. It’s weird.” Steve just laughed, wrapping his arms around Bucky’s waist. It was nice to be referred to as Bucky’s boyfriend. He thought he would never live to see the day that this happened.

Yet here he was.

“It’s alright Buck, I don’t care. I’m pretty used to it by now. Peggy used to do it all the time.” Bucky didn’t say anything as he leaned back against Steve’s chest.

“Well, I’m gonna let you two be alone. I have a doctor’s appointment to get to and Clint is probably still asleep, so who knows how long it will take to get his ass out of bed.” Natasha pulled herself up from the couch, using Bucky as a crutch in the process. When she had gotten her balance again, she turned around and smiled down at them. “I’m really happy for you two. You both deserve to be happy.” Steve just smiled up at her.

“We appreciate that.”

“Did Becca invite to that thing next week?”  Bucky asked, pulling himself up from Steve’s lap. Steve couldn’t help but miss the warmth of Bucky’s body against him.

“Yeah. I’m not quite sure if Clint and I will be able to make it. But we’ll see.” Bucky just nodded as Natasha gave them one last goodbye and left the apartment as quickly as she had come in.

“What is Becca doing?” Steve asked, pulling himself off the couch.

“My parents are having a party next week. Some family reunion thing. I wasn’t going to go because I hate those things but I know Becca will want to know about us so I figured it would be the best time to introduce you to the family. I was going to talk to you about it today. Seeing Natasha reminded me because Becca always invites her to shit like this. Considers her family now or something. It’s weird but I don’t question it.”

“Oh?” Steve moved in closer, wrapping his arms around Bucky’s waist.

“Yeah, I mean, it’s just a little party at my parents’ house and everything. But I wanted you to come, y’know, introduce you to my family, as my boyfriend. You’ll be the first guy I ever bring home. I understand if you don’t want to come, I mean, we just started-”

“I would love to go.” Bucky turned around and smiled.

“Really?”

“Of course! Did you think I would say no?”

“I just, we just started dating and everything…” Steve smiled and pulled him close, silencing him with a kiss.

“Let’s go back to bed.” Bucky smiled against his lips. “You can tell me more about this party of your parents.”

“If we’re going back to bed, we sure as hell are not talking about my parents.”  Steve just smiled and he pushed Bucky back towards the bedroom.

* * *

“Do you have to leave?” Bucky whined, pulling Steve in by his belt loops. Steve just smiled as he leaned down, pressing a lingering kiss to Bucky’s lips.

“Unfortunately yes. I have one big ass canvas at home that needs to be finished. As much as I wish I could, I can’t do that from here.” Bucky smiled, trying to pull Steve onto the bed.

As tempting as all of this was, he had to pull back, very reluctantly. Bucky groaned.

“I know, I know. I mean, you can always come back with me to the apartment.” Bucky let out a loud sigh.

“I should probably go check up on the clinic. I have a shit ton of paperwork to catch up on.”

“See? And you’re trying to seduce me into another round. Shame on you.” Steve turned around, glancing about the room. “Now, where is my shirt?”

“By the dresser.” Bucky mumbled. Steve laughed as he walked over and picked up his shirt from the floor.

“Now how did it get all the way over here?” Steve turned around and came face to face with Bucky. “Hey there.” Steve whispered. Bucky just smiled as he ran his hands over his chest.

He hadn’t even realized that Bucky had put his prosthetic back on. Did he have that on when they were out in the living room with Natasha?

Nevermind. It wasn’t important at the moment. He was more focused on what those hands were doing.

“Your body is outrageous.”

“That’s why you’re dating me, right? For my hot bod?” Bucky laughed and shoved Steve back against the wall.

“You know that isn’t true.” Steve just raised an eyebrow. “I mean, it’s a nice bonus.”

“Well, it’s good to know that if I was still my sickly skinny self you would be long gone by now.”

“No, I would still be here.”

“Really? You remember what I looked like right?”

“Yeah, you were fuckin’ gorgeous.” Steve laughed at that. He would call himself a lot of things, but gorgeous wasn’t one of them.

“Buck, I know you’re trying to be nice and all but…”

“I mean it. I remember when you showed me that picture of you, I um, well I sort of saved it to my phone.” Steve’s eyes widened. He remembered Natasha showing the pictures to him that she had taken from Bucky’s phone. He never would have imagined that Bucky would actually admit it to him.

“You saved that picture?”

“Yeah. I just, I would look at that picture all the time. I think I fell for that guy first.”

“You’re bullshitting me.”

“No, I’m not.” Bucky turned around and walked back to his nightstand, picking up his phone. He turned back around and showed Steve his phone.

And there it was.

“Wow.”

“Yeah. You were gorgeous then and you are gorgeous now. I just wish I could have known you then.”

“I feel like I have known you forever though.” Bucky smiled and pulled him in for another kiss.

“Now, if you would have had a beard and be that skinny little guy, I probably would have died from a heart attack or something.” Steve laughed, dropping his head onto Bucky’s shoulder.

“I can safely say that I never grew much of a beard back then, so your heart is safe for another day.” Bucky pulled him in closer, laughing into his chest.

“I don’t want you to leave.”

“I’ll be back, you know that. It’s not like we’ll never see each other again.”

“I know. Just, I like you in my bed better.” Steve laughed and shoved him back a bit.

“There is nothing more that I would like more than to stay in your bed all day. Sadly, I really need to go. I’ll call you later.” Steve pulled his shirt on, buttoning it up as he walked out into the living room.

“You better. Let me know how your canvas turns out.”

“Will do!” Steve shouted as he left the apartment.

It wasn’t until he was outside that he figured he should have asked Bucky for a ride back to his apartment.

* * *

Steve made his way down the hallway towards his apartment. He wanted nothing more than to just fall back asleep but he really needed to work on that canvas. He needed to have it done as soon as possible.

He didn’t feel this tired when he was back at Bucky’s, but it must have been the walk back here that made him tired. Or the events of last night were finally catching up with him.

Possibly both.

He glanced up when he heard a door open and close. It was from his apartment. There was a woman coming out.

So Sam did have someone over. She was blonde, Sam’s type, of course. Steve wouldn’t expect any less.

The woman then looked up and Steve tripped over his own feet.

It was Sharon.

The woman was Sharon!

She looked up at him and Steve saw her eyes widen.

“Sharon.” Steve said, walking over to her.

“Don’t say anything.” Steve just smiled.

“You and Sam huh?”

“Like you have room to talk? You got some nice ‘love bites’ on your neck.”

“Are you and Sam dating now or what?” Steve asked, completely ignoring her statement. Has this been going on long? Why was he just now hearing about it now? He should have known it was Sharon. She and Sam had been talking a lot lately. Now he felt bad for not seeing it earlier.

Sharon looked down at her feet, shrugging.

“I don’t know yet. I guess we’ll see.”

“Alright, well, I have some work to do. Stop by again, y’know, for whatever reason.” Sharon let out a small laugh.

“Bye Steve.” Sharon replied with a smile as she continued on her way. Steve walked over to the apartment door and walked inside.

He could hear music blasting all across the apartment.

Ah yes, the annual ritual of a ‘Sam getting laid’ morning. Music blasting as loud as it possible could and pancakes that would last for days.

Steve walked over towards the kitchen and found Sam dancing along to the music, flipping pancakes.

“Morning.” Steve said, leaning against the counter. Sam jumped and turned around.

“Steve! Man I thought I wouldn’t see you till tonight.”

“I met your date in the hallway.” Sam smiled and looked down at his feet, trying his hardest not to blush.

He failed. But it was a good effort, Steve had to admit.

“How did all this come about?” Sam shrugged.

“I don’t know man. It just happened.”

“It just happened?” He didn’t believe that for a second.

“I can’t really describe it. I mean, we’ve always been friends.” Steve nodded, crossing his arms. He couldn’t help but smile at Sam. He had been waiting for Sam to find someone who made him happy, and well, maybe Sharon was it.

He had nothing against Riley, but he knew that Steve needed to move on from whatever that was.

“Go on.”

“Well, since I knew you were having your date with Bucky, I invited her over for a movie night and one thing led to another and well, that’s that.”

“Do you like her?”

“Well yeah.”

“I meant, is this going to be a one-time thing or do you want to date her?”

“I don’t know!” Sam turned around and flipped over the pancake he had forgotten about. It was burned but Sam didn’t seem to care as he flipped it onto a plate. Steve watched as he turned the oven off and turned back around to face Steve. “You know Sharon.”

“I do. She is a great person. But I’m not the one that wants to date her.”

“She’s not just great, she’s an amazing woman Steve. I’ve never met anyone like her.”

“Then date her. If it doesn’t work out, then it doesn’t work out. But it won’t hurt to try.” Sam looked up at him and smiled.

“Look at you, giving me the same advice I gave you. Kind of ironic.”

“I guess so. Look, I’m gonna shower then I have to get that canvas done.”

“Wait! You’re not gonna tell me how your night went?” Sam asked, walking after Steve.

“Do you really want all the details about how Bucky fucked me?” Sam’s eye widened and a look of mock disgust appeared on his face.

“TMI man.” Steve just laughed as he continued on to the bathroom. “I just wanted to know if it went okay.”

“Went peachy.” Steve said, looking back at Sam and giving him a wink before walking into the bathroom, slamming the door shut.

* * *

Steve sat in his studio, putting the last finishing touches on the canvas when his phone rang. He let out a small sigh as he set his brush down and walked over to his phone.

Normally he would just let it ring, but something told him he knew who it was.

He smiled when he saw Bucky’s face smiling up at him.

“Hello?”

“Hello handsome.” Steve just laughed.

“Aren’t you supposed to be doing paperwork?”

“I can talk and sign off on encounters at the same time.”

“Oh really?”

“Besides, I’m actually all alone here. Charles had his last appointment an hour ago so he and Scott have already gone.”

“Wade wasn’t working today?”

“Wade only works when I work, as Scott does with Charles. We thought it would be easier that way, since they both know our clients. How is the canvas going?”

“I’m almost done actually. Just a few finishing touches and then I just have to let it dry. I should be able to have Kate come look at it tomorrow.”

“Nice. You will have to send me a picture, if you can do that. Can you do that?” Steve just laughed.

“Yes I can do that. It’s my work, I can do whatever I want. So I will try and remember to send you a picture of it when I’m done, or, well, you know, you can just come over tonight for dinner. We can watch a movie and stuff.”

“I can do that.”

“Alright. Just finish your work okay. I’ll let Sam know you’re coming.”

“Okay, see you later Steve.”

“Bye Buck.”

After Steve hung up, he set his brush down and made his way out to the living room where Sam was playing video games. One of these days he would walk out into the living room and Sam would actually be doing something productive.

But today was not that day.

“Is it alright is Bucky comes over tonight?”

“Sure. I’m going out with Sharon tonight anyways.”

“Oh, are you?”

“Yeah. While you were off working, I gave her a call. We’re gonna get dinner tonight and maybe catch a movie.”

“Nice. I wish you all the luck man. Sharon is a great woman.”

“Thanks Steve.” Steve just smiled. 

“Well I have to finish that canvas.” Sam just nodded as Steve made his way back to his studio.

Although now that he knew that Bucky was coming over, his productivity was not going to be all that great. Not great at all.

* * *

Steve finished the canvas about an hour later, giving him plenty of time to shower again and think of something to make Bucky for dinner.

Sam suggested steak, but since they had just had that the night before, Steve went with chicken. He could whip something up quick if he needed to. He was sure that Bucky wouldn’t complain. Food was food right?

Bucky ended up showing up at the apartment around five.

“Hey!” Steve said as he popped the chicken in the oven.

“Hello gorgeous.” Bucky responded, walking over to him and pulling him in for a kiss. Steve smiled against his lips.

“I just put the chicken in so don’t start anything.”

“Would I do that?” Steve laughed and pushed him away gently.

“Yes.” Bucky just laughed as he set down a large stack of papers. Steve didn’t even notice them when he walked over to him. “Did you bring your work home with you?”

“Like you have room to talk. You work from home.”

“That’s different. My studio is my office. Your office is in an actual building.”

“Whatever. These are just some journals Charles left for me to look over or something like that. I’m not going to look at them here, but I didn’t want to leave them in the truck either.”

“I see.”

“So what’s for dinner big guy?”

“Um, baked chicken and pasta?” Steve said, running his hand through his hair. “We haven’t been to the store for a while so I went with what we had.”

“Dude, its fine.” Steve nodded as he noticed Bucky glancing around.  “Is Sam joining us?”

“No. Oh! Wait! I didn’t tell you.”

“What?” Bucky replied with a smile.

“Sam and Sharon hooked up last night!”

“What? Really?”

“Yeah. I was coming back here this morning and I saw Sharon leaving the apartment and then Sam told me that they hooked up.”

“Wow. Good for them. They would make a great couple.”

“I know, right? I can’t believe I didn’t even think to set them up. Like it’s so obvious!”

“So, is Sam off with her tonight then?”

“Yeah. I guess he is taking her out. But isn’t it great?” Bucky just laughed.

“Yeah Steve, its real great.”

“Sorry. I get excited about things like this.”

“Don’t worry about it. It’s cute.” Steve just smiled as he made his way towards the couch.

“So, tell me about this whole family reunion that I need to make the perfect first impression at.”

“Don’t worry about it. My parents already love you. You won’t need to try too hard.”

“They’ve only met me once, as a friend of yours. It becomes a completely different story when I’m your boyfriend.”

“You’ll do fine. I know it.”

“I just…”

“Relax.” Bucky replied, running his fingers through Steve’s hair. Steve closed his eyes and instantly relaxed. “Now, what movie should we watch?”

“I was thinking about Roman Holiday.”

“Never seen it.” Steve’s eyes widened as he pulled away from Bucky. “What?”

“Are you serious?”

“I’ve heard of it, just never got around to seeing it.”

“Well then we are definitely watching it. You need to see it.”

“Oh do I?”

“Yes.” Steve pulled himself from the couch and popped the DVD in.

* * *

Bucky ended up loving the movie. He was a little bit disappointed with the ending, wanting it to end with a typical happy ending. But Steve insisted that the ending was realistic and perfect for the movie.

The chicken turned out not as good as Steve would have liked, but Bucky didn’t seem like he was complaining.

When dinner was done and the dishes loaded in the dishwasher, Steve and Bucky found themselves back on the couch.

“Do you have any other suggestions on what we do the rest of the night?”

“Oh, I have a few.” Bucky replied with a smirk as he leaned forward.

“Hey!” Steve jumped over and looked over as the front door swung open. In walked Sam and Sharon.

Of course.

“Hey guys.” Steve put on his best fake smile in order to hide his anger. Sam was supposed to be gone this evening. “What brings you back so early?”

“The movie ended up being overbooked or something. So we decided we would just hang out here with you guys.”

“If that’s alright.” Sharon piped in. “I don’t want to interrupt if you two wanted to be alone. We can go back to my place if it bothers you.” Steve looked over at Bucky, seeing his opinion on the matter. Bucky just shrugged.

“Fine by me.”

“Perfect! Now, what movie shall we watch then? Or shall we have a Mario kart party?”

“Oh Mario Kart all the way.” Bucky responded. “I kick major ass at Mario Kart.”

“Oh I’m gonna take that challenge.” Sam replied as he turned on the game.

“I don’t know, I think we could take you.” Steve responded, moving closer to Bucky to make more space on the couch for Sam and Sharon.

“Play nice boys.” Sharon replied, grabbing her own controls.

Turns out that Sharon ended up kicking all of their asses at Mario Kart.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter will be the Barnes family reunion which will include the resurgance of Becca!
> 
> Thanks for reading and let me know what you guys think!


	36. (274.)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Honestly, one of these days I will post an update in a decent time frame. Just, you know, life happens. And this chapter gave me some trouble. I would be all set to start on the chapter, and then another random idea for a oneshot would come to mind, but then nothing would happent here either.
> 
> I have like a million beginnings of stucky oneshots just sitting on my computer. It's really quite sad. But, what can ya do.
> 
> I actually plan to reread this monster and get a more efficient time frame on where I am because honestly, I have no idea where the hell I am in the story. So I am going to map out more chapters and figure out where exactly this story is heading.
> 
> Anywho, as always, thanks so much for sticking with me, commenting, subscribing, leaving kudos, and reading this story. I love all you amazing people and seeing your comments and everything make me happier.

Steve really needed to invest in some black out shades or something. He could be sleeping more if the damn sun didn’t have to shine in right on his face every morning.

He never really had this problem before, not that he could remember. Then again, he was on a different side of the bed now. His eyes peaked open as long brown hair came into focus. He could hear the faint sound of Bucky breathing next to him.

It was all very comforting.

He smiled to himself as he pulled Bucky in closer to him. Bucky moved against him, waking up. Steve just smiled as Bucky turned around in his arms.

“Do we have to get up?” Steve whispered as Bucky snuggled in closer.

“Unfortunately yes.” Bucky replied. “My mom would be pissed if I showed up to this thing late.”

“But it doesn’t start till this afternoon, right?”

“Yeah, but she wants help setting up. I always help with that shit.” Steve nodded, trying his best to not really think about it. He had been so nervous about today this whole week.

He was okay when he didn’t think about it. But when he did, his mind started working, and it was just bad.

When Bucky had first told him about it, he had been fine with it. But now, now that it was getting closer, he couldn’t help but be nervous.

What if they hated him?

Sure they liked him as Bucky’s friend, but would they like him as Bucky’s boyfriend?

“You’re thinking too much.” Steve looked up as Bucky ran his fingers through Steve’s hair. “Just relax, okay.” Steve took a deep breath. He wasn’t relaxing. He could feel his mind working a million miles a minute. “Can you tell me about your mom? You never really talk about her and since, well, we are meeting my family, maybe you can tell me about yours?” Steve smiled as a million different memories of his mother filled his mind.

“Yeah, well, my mom…” Steve laughed. He hadn’t really talked about his mother with anyone in a while. Brock never brought her up or when Steve did want to bring her up, he wasn’t listening or didn’t care.

And with Chase, well, they didn’t really last long to get into that kind of detail. He knew that Steve’s mother was dead but not really anything about her.

“She was amazing.” Bucky smiled up at him as he cuddled in closer. “She was all I had growing up. My father died when I was really young so I don’t really remember him very much. All I have are pictures of him, no memories. So my mother was all I really had.”

“What was she like?”

“She was very kind. Probably the kindest person I have ever known. She saw the good in everyone. She was a nurse. She worked all the time. Had to. She had to support both of us, so she took all the shifts she could. We lived in this little shabby apartment in a crappy part of town.” Steve let out a little laugh. “Oh that place was a piece of shit. You had to slam the door a few times to get it to fully shut. The toilet never worked. You had to wiggle the handle like ten million times for it to stop running.  The electricity never worked. We didn’t have central air or heating.”

“Sounds like fun.”

“Oh it was. I mean it sucked, but you know, we had each other. We had some good memories. I mean, I felt bad for her because I was always sick. We always had bills, but somehow, we made it work.”

“She sounds like a great woman. I wish I could have met her.”

“She would have liked you.”

“How old were you when she died?”

“I was 19. She got to see me graduate so that was nice. She was sick then. She had cancer. She didn’t suffer long though. I guess I can be thankful for that.” Steve could feel his eyes water a bit. He always got emotional when he talked about his mother.

What he would give to have her still here with him.

“Thank you Steve.” Bucky whispered as he leaned forward, pressing a gentle kiss to his lips. Steve just sighed into Bucky’s kisses, not wanting to move. If he could spend all day here, forever really, he could spend the rest of his life here in Bucky’s arms.

Sadly they had other events to attend to.

“We should probably get ready.” Steve whispered, running his fingers through Bucky’s hair. He loved Bucky’s hair. He loved everything about Bucky, but god his hair was amazing.

“You know, we could save time by showering together.” Steve let out a loud laugh as he rolled over.

“Somehow I doubt that would actually save time, but we could always try. I would never turn down any of your brilliant ideas.” He glanced back at Bucky and found him smirking at him.

“Race you to the shower?”

“Um…you’re on!” Steve shouted as he bolted from the bed and ran to the door. He was about to open it when something crashed into him, crashing him back into the door, slamming it shut.

Steve couldn’t help but laugh as they both tried to open the door. Steve laughed again as he fell against the door.

“This is ridiculous. We can just walk there together. Like adults.”

“Okay.” Steve stepped back as he opened the door.

“Fooled ya!” Bucky shouted as he darted pass him, running into to the bathroom.

“Jerk!” Steve shouted as he ran after him. When he reached the door he found Bucky leaning against it with that infamous shit eating grin of his. “You are such a cheat.”

“I learn from the best.”

“Get your ass in there.” Steve mumbled as he shoved Bucky inside, shutting the door behind him.

* * *

Steve stepped out of his room, closing the door behind him. Bucky was still getting ready and he didn’t want to give whoever was in his apartment today a free show (Steve had now grown accustomed to random people showing up in his apartment). It seems that since now Bucky’s hair was longer, it took him a bit longer to get ready. Steve didn’t understand it, but if Bucky wanted to look his best, then so be it. He wouldn’t complain.

“Morning Steve.” He looked over and found Sharon walking towards the kitchen. He was used to her being here now. It was almost like she lived here too. Like Bucky.

“Morning.” Steve replied with a smile. He was never going to get over Sharon being here all the time. He was used to it, but his mind still couldn’t quite comprehend that she and Sam were officially dating.

It seemed like it was only weeks ago that Steve had been set up with her.

“If you stay long enough, Peggy is coming over for breakfast. You and Bucky are welcome to stay and eat.”

“I would hope so, since I do live here and all.” Sharon laughed, shoving him a bit.

“You know what I mean.”

“We’ll see. I am on Bucky’s schedule today.” She nodded as Sam walked out into the living room.

“Wow, Steve, plaid? Really?”

“Hey, I look good in plaid.”

“You look like a fuckin’ lumberjack.” Sam mumbled, walking over to kiss Sharon on the cheek before grabbing the carton of juice from the fridge. Sam always just drank right out of the carton. Steve wouldn’t mind, but sometimes, he would rather not drink juice that had Sam’s spit in it.

“He looks like a sexy lumberjack.” Bucky said, coming up from behind him, wrapping his arms around Steve’s middle. Bucky gave him a quick squeeze before moving to stand next to him, taking a hold of one of Steve’s hands.

Steve looked over at him and smiled. Bucky was looking very casual today (something he normally didn’t see, usually Bucky was in his nice doctor clothes). Bucky was wearing a nice pair of jeans and a grey Henley. He even had his hair pulled back.

He looked good. Damn good.

“You both look like fuckin’ lumberjacks.” Sam mumbled into his carton of juice. Bucky just laughed.

“Sharon invited us to stay for breakfast, if you want.”

“Sure. Why not? I’m starving.”

“Peggy should be arriving soon.”

And just on cue, Peggy walked through the door.

“Hello everyone! Sorry I’m late!” Sharon and Sam just waved as they continued mixing up the batter for the pancakes. “Steve darling.” Peggy walked over to him and gave him a quick kiss. “I feel like I never see you anymore.” She turned and smiled at Bucky. “And James, always lovely to see you.” She pulled him into a hug before heading over to Sharon and Sam.

“You have some lipstick on your face.” Bucky whispered. “Just right there.” Steve instantly reached up to wipe at his face. Bucky just laughed as Steve shoved him.

“You are so full of shit.”

“Come on you love birds. If you want breakfast, you need to help out a bit. Otherwise you can take your body building asses out of here.”

* * *

The ride to Bucky’s parents’ house was a quiet one. Steve was just too nervous to speak. He ate too much at breakfast and now he felt sick. Driving didn’t make things better.

“You okay?” Bucky asked, reaching over to squeeze his shoulder.

“Just a little nauseous.”

“Do you need me to pull over?”

“No. Just, you know, nerves and all that.”

“Steve, you need to relax. They are going to love you. There is nothing to worry about.”

“I know, but they only knew me as a friend of yours. Things get a lot different when you introduce a boyfriend.”

“I guess. But you know Becca will be ecstatic.”

“She doesn’t know?” Steve was shocked. He was sure that Bucky would have told her first.

“No. Actually, I haven’t really told my parents yet either.”

“Bucky!”

“I just, the moment was never right and well, when I do decide to do it, I wanted you right there with me.”

Steve felt even sicker. Now he knew Bucky’s parents wouldn’t react horribly, but still, it was sure to be a shock and just, god, at a family reunion too.

Bucky pulled up to a driveway and Steve stomach may have leapt up to his throat.

The house was fuckin’ huge!

“Jesus Buck.” Steve whispered, leaning against the window. The house was beautiful. It reminded Steve of all the fancy houses of the suburbs that you would see in movies or magazines. “You grew up here?”

“Yeah. I had it rough.”

“I bet you did.” Steve whispered. He couldn’t even comprehend how big this house was. It reminded him of Stark Mansion.

Bucky pulled up towards the side of the house, putting his truck in park.

“I know this seems like a lot, but I do want you to know, that I did work hard to be where I am today. I didn’t take any handouts from my family.”

“Never said you did.” Steve replied, looking over at him. Bucky smiled and reached over to grab his hand.

“Are you mad at me, for saving the big reveal for today?”

“Of course not. It’s not ideal, but we are doing this completely on your comfort level. You want to tell everyone today, then by all means do it. I will be standing right next to you all the way.”

“I love you so much Steve.”

“Love you too Buck.” Steve leaned over across the seat. Bucky wrapped his arm around Steve’s neck as he pulled Steve in for a kiss.

This right here, this was Steve’s happy place. Really, just being near Bucky made him happy.

Steve deepened the kiss but Bucky pulled away.

“We should probably go inside.”

“Yeah….” Bucky kissed him again before turning off the car.

“Come on lover boy.” Bucky stepped out of the truck and walked over to the side door. Steve took a deep breath as he stepped out. He could do this. He had done this many times before.

This shouldn’t be any different.

Bucky grabbed his hand as he pulled him over to a door along the side. From here it looked like any other house.

But once you stepped inside, it was like something out of a movie.

It was beautiful. Very well decorated with a mixture of old antiques and modern fixtures. It was a lot to take it, but very nice to the eye. Steve could appreciate it.

“James? Is that you?”

“Yeah mom!” Bucky shouted as he pulled Steve down a hallway. “I will give you a tour in a bit.” Steve smiled as he followed Bucky into what had to be the kitchen, judging from the smell.

Steve walked in and found Winfred smiling at them from her spot over the stove. George was standing by the table, putting together some sort of small table or something.

“James!” Winifred smiled as she set down the wooden spoon she was holding and ran over to Bucky, pulling him into a giant hug. “You look wonderful dear!” Winifred pulled away and smiled over at Steve. “Steve! So glad you could make it!” She pulled Steve into a small hug as George walked over, gripping Bucky by the shoulder.

“Hey dad.” Bucky whispered as George brought up the clinic. Winifred was talking to Steve about his paintings while she walked back over to the stove to stir whatever was cooking. As Steve got closer, he noticed that she was making chicken and noodles and damn did they smell amazing.

He could feel him tummy rumble in interest.

Winifred started talking about her dealings getting commissions and the trouble she has had and the times where everything went perfect. She was such a friendly woman. She reminded Steve a lot of his own mother, and how she was when he had anyone over.

Steve smiled and laughed at all the appropriate times. It was nice seeing Bucky interact with his family. Steve didn’t really get much of it when he met them at the clinic. He wasn’t even prepared then. He was just thrown at them and that was that. But apparently he had made a good impression if this was the welcome he got.

It would only be made better if Becca were here as well. He was sure she would be making her appearance soon.

“Mom, dad.” Bucky said, clearing his throat. His father looked up, as did his mom. Bucky took a deep breath and walked over to Steve.

Oh.

Well, this was it. Bucky was going to tell his parents.

“What is it sweetie?” His mom said, walking over to stand by George.  Bucky took a deep breath before glancing over at Steve. Steve just smiled, giving him a brief nod of encouragement.

“Okay, well, um, Steve and I are together now.” Bucky mumbled out. Steve had to try very hard not to laugh because that was just typical of Bucky. Just mumble something out and hope for the best. Winfred and George looked at Bucky and then Steve, then their joined hands (Steve wasn’t even sure when Bucky had grabbed his hand, or if he had grabbed his hand first) then at each other.

Both were smiling. Steve couldn’t help the sigh of relief that escaped him. Smiling was always a good sign.

“Oh darling, I knew it was coming, I just knew it.” Winifred laughed as she pulled Bucky into another hug.

“You’re okay with it?” Bucky whispered. Steve could see that Bucky was crying.

“Honey, I would love you no matter what. We are so proud of you. Steve is a great man.” His mom whispered, wrapping him tighter in her arms. She finally let him go then turned to Steve, pulling him into another embrace. “Oh Steve. You treat my James well, you hear.”

“I plan to.” George laughed as he clapped Steve on the back.

“James, why don’t you give Steve the tour of the house while we get everything situated in here.” Bucky just nodded as he grabbed Steve away from his mom and dragged him out of the kitchen.

Once they were away from prying eyes, Steve pulled Bucky into a quick hug.

“I knew you could do it.” Bucky was shaking and Steve could feel his shirt getting wet from Bucky’s tears.

“I didn’t think they would just accept it like that. I never thought…”

“You don’t have to worry about it anymore, okay? They know, and they still love you. Everything is going to be fine.” Bucky pulled away and smiled up at Steve.

“I’m really glad you’re here with me today.” Steve just smiled as he bent down and pressed a gentle kiss to Bucky’s lips.

“Come on Barnes, I feel like I need to see this place. So, be a nice host and give me the tour.” Bucky smiled and wiped at his eyes.

“Well come on then.” He grabbed Steve’s hand and pulled him through the house.

* * *

“So this is Bucky Barnes’ bedroom?” Steve crooned out as he stepped inside. Bucky laughed as he shut the door behind them.

“Yeah, this was where the magic happened.” Steve snorted as he looked around. It looked nothing like what he imagined it would. And nothing like what his room looked like when he was young.

Then again, Steve didn’t have the money to fill his rooms up back then. He had the few art books and sketchbooks. That was pretty much it.

Bucky’s room was filled from wall to wall. The walls weren’t decorated with posters or anything like that, but covered in bookshelves. There were books everywhere.

Steve could see books on nature, science, every subject imaginable. There were picture frames scattered all over the place. He could see some of Connie. There were quite a few of Natasha as well. There were a few family pictures as well.

It was perfect.

There was one picture that caught Steve’s eye. Bucky was standing in the middle of a group of guys.

“Who are they?” Steve asked, stepping forward to get a better look at the picture. Bucky looked so happy, and young. Steve didn’t think he had ever seen Bucky this happy.

“Oh, we called ourselves the Howling Commandos.” Bucky laughed, looking back at the picture. “College buddies. Before med school. And before Pierce.” That explained a lot then.

“Do you still see them?”

“Sometimes. They were actually at the opening of the clinic.”

“Really?”

“Yep. They stopped by to give their support. They left before I could introduce you to them though.” Steve just smiled as he looked at the picture. “Now, there is something I want to do before Becca decides to show up and ruin everything like she always does.” Steve turned around right as Bucky pushed him back.

Steve’s knees hit bed as he fell back onto the bed. Steve hated to admit that it probably wasn’t the most graceful fall ever. He may have actually flailed his hands a bit.

He looked up and saw the absolute predatory look in his eyes.

Ah.

Steve got the picture then. He knew exactly where Bucky’s mind was going. And he was all for it. One hundred percent.

“Of course.” Steve whispered as Bucky crawled on top of him. “How many other boys did you bring back here back in the day?”

“None, actually. You’re the first.”

“Really?”

“Really really.”

“Okay Shrek.” Bucky let out a little snort of his as his head hit Steve’s chest.

“Please don’t bring up Shrek, you are ruining the moment.”

“Well, better start distracting me then.” Bucky looked up at him then, big grin across his face. 

“Challenge accepted.” Steve just smiled as Bucky crawled up the rest of the way. Steve leaned into him, angling in for a kiss, only to have Bucky sidestep and press lingering kisses along his neck.

Steve closed his eyes, bringing his arms up to rest on his hips.

Bucky rested his body full against Steve’s and dammit, Steve needed to keep calm about this. He could not get all worked up while Bucky’s parents were downstairs. They were not going to do this right now, of all times.

Hell, Bucky’s whole goddamn family would be here soon. He did not want his first impression with them to be them listening in on him and Bucky having sex.

“Bucky…” Steve whispered as Bucky finally made his way to Steve’s lips. About damn time. Steve took that opportunity to flip them over, pinning Bucky to the bed. “You’re making things hard here Buck…”

“I’m pretty sure that’s the point in all of this.”

“You are so full of shit.” Steve leaned down to kiss him again.

“James Buchanan Barnes!” The door to Bucky’s door swung wide open, slamming into the wall. Steve jumped so much that he completely lost his balance and fell off the bed, landing on the floor with a loud thud. He hadn’t even been aware he was that close to the edge, but now that he was one the floor, it seems he was.

At least he had a good view of all the board games Bucky had stored under his bed. He may have even spotted a Mouse Trap game.

“God dammit Becca!” Bucky shouted, letting out a very loud and frustrating sigh.

“Don’t you fool me, I saw that you brought a date now why the fuck am I the last to know that you are dating someone. Who is she? You can show your face now, I know you’re there.”

Steve peaked his head up from beside the bed with a big grin on his face.

“Hey Becca.”

The look on her face was priceless. Her eyes widened and her mouth dropped. It was almost like something out of a cartoon.

And then she screamed.

Bucky was lying on the bed, hands over his face. It was all very comical and Steve couldn’t help but laugh. He pulled himself up and crawled in next to Bucky on the bed.

“When did this happen?” Becca asked after she had finally calmed herself down. “And more importantly, why am I just hearing about it now? After all that work I did to get you two together.”

“Aren’t you gonna tell her?” Steve asked, nudging Bucky in the side.

“There’s nothing to tell. I finally got my head out of my ass and asked Steve out. It was a slow process but now we’re dating. And what do you mean all that work you did? You did nothing but try and ruin my relationship with Connie.”

Becca actually gaped at him. Steve just found it hilarious. These two were so comical that Steve wished he would have known them growing up. He was sure their childhood was a very interesting one.

“Um, who was it that listened to you for hours on end at 3 in the morning talking about how amazing Steve was at this, or how he looked that day or any other little thing you figured out about him.”

“What?” Steve asked, pulling himself up into a sitting position. “I did not know about these phone calls, please, do go on.” Becca smiled and plopped herself on the bed beside Steve.

“Oh there were a ton of them! I remember the night he first met you. It was the next day. I’m sure. I know he already had talked to Nat about it, but he called me and told me that he met the most handsome man he had ever seen.”

“Becca!” Bucky groaned. Steve just laughed. This was amazing and really, too good to be true.

“I don’t believe you.” Steve turned to look at Bucky. “Did you really say that after you met me?”

“Perhaps. Look, when I first met you, I tried really hard to just focus on your art abilities okay. I didn’t hire you with the intention of falling for you.”

“But then?” Steve egged on.

“You don’t need me to tell you. Honestly, you’re fuckin’ gorgeous and an amazing human being and I fell head over heels for you. Now, if we are done embarrassing me, I believe mom and dad have a lot of things we could be helping them with.”

“You’re no fun.” Becca pouted.  Steve just smiled as he grabbed Bucky’s hand and pulled him up off the bed.

* * *

Steve ended up helping out in the kitchen with Winifred. Bucky and Becca were outside helping George set up tables and everything else that needed set up out there.

Steve could see Bucky from the kitchen window by the sink, and he couldn’t help but stare and smile. He would never understand how someone like Bucky decided to give him a chance, but he was not going to complain.

“How long have you been in love with him?” Steve was snapped out of his thoughts by Winifred’s light touch on his arm.

“I’m sorry, what was that?” Winifred just laughed.

“James. How long have you been in love with him?”

“Oh, Bucky, um, well, it seems odd to say, but I think I’ve been in love with him ever since I met him.”

“And does he know?”

“We’ve told each other we love each other before.” Lord knows Steve tried to say it as much as he could.

“But did you really mean it?”

“Of course I did.”

“I mean.” She then stopped, as if she was searching for the best way to say what she wanted to say. “You know in every relationship, if it lasts long enough, there is that moment. It’s a very special moment. You know it by, well, you feel it in your guy. And when you say those magic words to whoever you’re with, it really means something. I don’t think James has ever been in a relationship where someone truly loved him.”

“I think Connie did.”

“No she didn’t. I’m not saying that because of my dislike of the woman. She was a really great woman. But things change. She thought she loved James, but not really. She knew it and James knew it. The fact that it took them so long to really figure it out is a shame. Both were just too stubborn to admit it. No matter how many times we told him, he wouldn’t believe us.”

“Yeah, Bucky’s stubborn like that.” Winifred smiled at him. Of course she would know that. She knew her son better than anyone.

“He really loves you though.”

“You think so?” Winifred just smiled.

“He brought you here didn’t he? That’s something. It took him about 3 years to bring Connie over to meet us. We always had to force him to bring Nat over. He loves you, Steve. I knew he loved you when he first talked about you. The way he smiled when he said your name. It’s real. Whatever you two have, it’s real.” Steve looked back out the window and found that Bucky was actually looking up at him from the yard. He gave Steve a little wave before going back to help his father.

How did Steve ever get so lucky?

* * *

The reunion was quite the adventure. Bucky’s family was great, with those few who were a bit weird (they were in every family, you couldn’t ever escape that) and Steve made sure to keep his distance. Bucky introduced Steve as his boyfriend to everyone. Most were thrilled for Bucky to find someone who made him happy, some not so much. But you have those in every family. Steve was used to that.

Hence he learned to avoid them like the plague.

He didn’t act different or anything. He wouldn’t change how he is just to appease them, but he could feel their stares, so he just kept his distance and didn’t try to engage in any conversations with them.

Simple.

Steve spent most of his time talking with Becca. She was just full of stories about Bucky. Steve loved every minute of it. He made a note to set up a lunch date with Becca so he could get more stories out of her about Bucky.

Natasha and Clint showed up later.

Natasha then became the center of attention, as everyone there knew her and wanted to know about the baby and every single detail of her pregnancy.

Natasha handled everything perfectly, like she always did. Clint seemed a little bit nervous about some things, but he just gripped Natasha’s hand as the influx of questions was thrown their way.

Steve just watched from his spot off to the side. He was currently sitting at a table, chatting with Becca and one of Bucky’s cousins, Matt. Apparently he was an artist too.

Bucky had been making the rounds, chatting with his family, catching them up with his life and the clinic.

Thankfully, from what Steve could tell and hear, no one brought up the canceled engagement with Connie.

When Bucky had finished his rounds, he walked over holding two beers, one in each hand. He looked exhausted. Steve could understand that. Dealing with family can be very exhausting. Bucky nodded over at Matt and Becca before he plopped himself right on Steve’s lap, setting the beers on the table.

Steve let out a small ‘oof’ as he adjusted to Bucky’s bony body before wrapping his arms around Bucky’s waist, keeping him situated on his lap.

“You tired?” Steve whispered into his back.

“Yeah. Too much time talking to everyone. It really wipes you out. I forget how exhausting my family can be.”

“You know, Becca was just telling me…”

“Don’t even go there. I don’t want to know what lies she has been telling now.” Steve just laughed in Bucky’s back.

“I would never lie!” Becca replied, throwing some random twig at Bucky. Bucky threw it right back, missing her completely.

Steve looked around at the party. Winifred and George were talking with Bucky’s aunts and uncles. There were children running around playing tag or whatever children played these days.

He never had things like this growing up.

It was always just him and his mom. He never knew much of his family. He knew his father had family, but they never really made the effort to visit. He had seen them maybe a few times in his life. Some came for his father’s funeral, and even fewer came for his mother’s.  His mom was all he had.

Not that any of that mattered now. He was happy with what he had.

But this was all so new to him. Bucky treated all of this like a chore, but Steve was just happy that everyone here seemed to get along well.

“Jesus Barnes, why is your family so obsessed with babies?” Natasha whined as she moved in to sit next to Becca.

“That’s because they just realized that they aren’t getting any from Bucky.” Becca replied with a smile.

“Hey now.” Bucky replied, pointing over at Becca. “Steve and I could always adopt a child. Don’t rule out any possibilities here.” Becca just laughed. “Besides Nat, my family loves you. They were all heartbroken when we called things off.”

“I wasn’t.” Clint replied, pulling Natasha closer to him.

“No, of course you weren’t.” Bucky replied, turning around so that he was now facing Steve. “Hey.” He whispered, leaning his forehead against Steve’s.

“Hey.” Steve smiled up at him.

“Are you having fun?”

“Of course I am.” Steve replied. “I’m with you, aren’t I?”

“Oh my god, you two are so cute it’s disgusting.” Becca groaned as she left the table. Bucky just smiled.

“You know, we can always get out here. We’ve been here long enough.”

“Won’t you need to help put everything away?”

“I can come over tomorrow if I want to help put things down. My parents won’t mind.”

“Whatever you want. I’m on your schedule today.”

“Okay, I’ll go tell my mom and dad and then we can leave.” Bucky gave him a quick peck on the lips before heading off towards the house. Steve looked over at Natasha and saw her staring at him with a raised eyebrow.

“What?”

“You and James.”

“What about us?”

“You two. Bucky never acted like this with anyone else. He must be really head over heels for you.”

“You know, everyone keeps saying that.”

“Well it’s true.”

“I remember Bucky being very touchy with Connie.”

“You’re different Steve. Bucky is giving you attention and you give it right back. That is something he isn’t used to.”

“I doubt that.” Natasha was about to speak but Steve stopped her. “Look, Bucky and I are happy. Let’s just leave it at that. We don’t have to compare what we have to our past relationships.” Natasha nodded, giving him a small smile.

“As long as you both are happy, that is all that matters to us.”

“Thank you. I do appreciate it.” Steve pulled himself up from the table. “We should all get together again, like a movie night or something. Go out to dinner. We can all do a triple date, what with Sam and Sharon together now.”

“What? How did I not know about this?”

“You can go yell at Sam about that.” Natasha just crossed her arms and glared at him.

“Don’t think I won’t.” Steve just shrugged, making his way towards the house. He did not envy the phone call Sam was going to be getting.

* * *

Steve ended up crashing with Bucky that night.

Which was nice.  Really nice.

They just cuddled up on the couch and started watching Lord of Rings.

“Thank you for coming today.” Bucky whispered, running his fingers through Steve’s hair.

“It was no problem, really. I love your family Buck. They are amazing and it was really nice being there.”

“Connie hated going to things like that. Always put up such a fit. And then she would bitch when I never wanted to go to her family outings. So stupid.”

“Well, I’m not going to do that, so you don’t have to worry about that with me.” Steve looked up at him and smiled.

“I love you Steve.” Steve’s smile fell from his face. Bucky was looking at him with a sad kind of look.

“Buck…”

“I…well, I always thought I would have to settle for someone. Whoever I ended up with, I felt like it would be just because. That was what I deserved. I went with my gut feelings with Pierce and put everything on the line and look where that got me. Nat had been a fling. I knew that was never really going anywhere. It was fun while it lasted. Then there was Connie. She was everything I thought I needed. I loved her; at least, I thought I did. But today… being with you, I now know what it’s like to really be loved and that….I…thank you so much Steve. For everything. I know I’ve said it a lot, but really, I don’t know what I would do without you.” Steve smiled, leaning up to press his lips to Bucky’s.

“I love you Bucky. Don’t ever forget that.” Bucky smiled, giving Steve a small nod before glancing back at the movie. Steve smiled, moving his head back on Bucky’s chest.

He didn’t want tonight to ever end.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know what you think!

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! Let me know what you guys think. Should I continue?
> 
> I'm thinking that every chapter will be a different day. But this may change, depending on the length of what happens that day and all that jazz.


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